leslie flenner
06-29-2004, 08:23 PM
Hey, all you hep cats out there!
Because I have perfected my Routine, I've decided it's time for me to go public so that others of you can benefit from my carefully honed skills.
Here are the steps in the Routine:
1. First, make sure your human has the right supply item: One large (4-qt, at least) bowl for your water, kept in the bathtub under the water spigot for easy refilling and for ready availability when it's time for the Routine.
2. Teach your human, when s/he is preparing to take a bath (you can tell when this is about to happen by the sound of the water running), to place the water bowl--filled as close to the brim as possible with fresh water--on the bathroom floor so that it will be within easy view of the soon-to-be-reclining bather.
3. After your human is well settled into the tub and too relaxed to move, it's time to commence the Routine. First, go to the bathroom and look surprised that the water bowl is on the floor, instead of in the tub.
4. Approach the water bowl cautiously and slowly. This allows your human time to notice your presence.
5. Signal your recognition that it is, indeed, your water bowl, by sniffing the water and then drinking from the bowl.
6. When you've finished drinking, step directly over the bowl so that your front legs are on one side of the bowl and your back legs are on the opposite side, the bowl is under your body. Got it?
7. Now, carefully lift one back leg (choose the one that has the most of the bathroom on that side) and place it IN the water bowl--all the way to the bottom of the bowl.
8. Without moving away from the bowl, pull that leg out of the bowl and shake it vigorously. Try to make the water spray as far as you possibly can.
9. When you've shaken off all the loose water, place that leg back into the bowl, all the way to the bottom again. If you want to admire yourself you may turn your head so that you can see that your leg is all the way into the bowl.
10. Here's the kicker (teehee): REPEAT STEPS 8 AND 9 NO FEWER THAN EIGHT (8) TIMES! I know this sounds difficult--it's taken me several weeks to develop this persistence, but believe me, it's worth it! Start with one, then gradually work your way up to 8 repetitions. Hang in there! You CAN do it!
11. When you've completed the Routine, place your water-soaked foot on the floor by the bowl and turn so that you're facing the exit. Then quickly do a big jump over as much of the water on the floor as you can and leave the room, snapping the wet leg in the air as you go.
12. When you've reached dry floor, you're free to lick that luscious leg--and to observe your human doing her or his own Routine with a mop.
There you are! DO IT MY WAY!
Sincerely,
MyWay
Because I have perfected my Routine, I've decided it's time for me to go public so that others of you can benefit from my carefully honed skills.
Here are the steps in the Routine:
1. First, make sure your human has the right supply item: One large (4-qt, at least) bowl for your water, kept in the bathtub under the water spigot for easy refilling and for ready availability when it's time for the Routine.
2. Teach your human, when s/he is preparing to take a bath (you can tell when this is about to happen by the sound of the water running), to place the water bowl--filled as close to the brim as possible with fresh water--on the bathroom floor so that it will be within easy view of the soon-to-be-reclining bather.
3. After your human is well settled into the tub and too relaxed to move, it's time to commence the Routine. First, go to the bathroom and look surprised that the water bowl is on the floor, instead of in the tub.
4. Approach the water bowl cautiously and slowly. This allows your human time to notice your presence.
5. Signal your recognition that it is, indeed, your water bowl, by sniffing the water and then drinking from the bowl.
6. When you've finished drinking, step directly over the bowl so that your front legs are on one side of the bowl and your back legs are on the opposite side, the bowl is under your body. Got it?
7. Now, carefully lift one back leg (choose the one that has the most of the bathroom on that side) and place it IN the water bowl--all the way to the bottom of the bowl.
8. Without moving away from the bowl, pull that leg out of the bowl and shake it vigorously. Try to make the water spray as far as you possibly can.
9. When you've shaken off all the loose water, place that leg back into the bowl, all the way to the bottom again. If you want to admire yourself you may turn your head so that you can see that your leg is all the way into the bowl.
10. Here's the kicker (teehee): REPEAT STEPS 8 AND 9 NO FEWER THAN EIGHT (8) TIMES! I know this sounds difficult--it's taken me several weeks to develop this persistence, but believe me, it's worth it! Start with one, then gradually work your way up to 8 repetitions. Hang in there! You CAN do it!
11. When you've completed the Routine, place your water-soaked foot on the floor by the bowl and turn so that you're facing the exit. Then quickly do a big jump over as much of the water on the floor as you can and leave the room, snapping the wet leg in the air as you go.
12. When you've reached dry floor, you're free to lick that luscious leg--and to observe your human doing her or his own Routine with a mop.
There you are! DO IT MY WAY!
Sincerely,
MyWay