Question about my grandbaby....

[kimlovescats]

I know this isn't "technically" a Cat thread... but I wanted to be sure my closest PT friends read this because I need SERIOUS opinions!!!! I will add a kitty pic to make this thread "legal"!!! :rolleyes: :D

OK... my question is this: My unmarried, 19 year old daughter is going to have a baby (my first grandbaby) around Oct. 20. We found out today that it is a healthy baby girl!!! (GRINNING WITH PRIDE) ... lol..... Anyway ..... since she is unmarried, and doesn't attend church regularly, and the few friends she has are young like her ... I am afraid no one is going to give her a baby shower. She hasn't mentioned herself, but I have to think it is in the back of her mind. :confused: Is it at all "ethical" or "acceptable" for ME to give her a baby shower? I would in a heartbeat .... but I don't want to look bad, you know? Plus I would rather be able to relax and attend one with her ... but I don't want her to miss out on the experience, and Lord knows we need the baby items!!!!

PLEASE give your honest opinions!!!

THANKS!;)

edit... OOPS... forgot the "official" picture... hehe .... utoh will have to post in next reply:rolleyes:

[kimlovescats]

THe official thread pic! :D

[nibblets]

Of course it would be a great idea! These days there isn't so much etiquette when it comes to showers and such.
I had shower and I was not married when I was pregnant with my son...15 years ago. She deserves a shower like everyone else!

Also, I must say...looking at your pic on your little avatar...You do not look anywhere near old enough to have a 19 yr old....I thought you were in your early 20's. :D You go girl!

[Steffi N]

Kim, I think that what is most important is that this baby will be welcomed and loved and a shower is a wonderful way of showing that. Go right ahead.

Griffin, you are so funny. :D

[NoahsMommy]

Of course you can! If you still feel a bit wierd about it, you could ask one or more of her friends to help you?

You're a good mom. :)

[kimlovescats]

Thank you for your sweet responses. I have searched the web a bit and did find two sites that said it was "ok" these days! I will wait a bit longer just in case someone else offers ... but they don't then I WILL! ;)

[CatMama78]

Firstly congrats :D !! Secondly, I think throwing her a shower is a great idea. I'm sure she will definitely appreciate it and it's such a loving gesture on your part.

And on a side note, I had to do a double take to figure out which stem was the tail on Griffin, silly guy :)

[trayi52]

Kim, I'm 51 years old, been married for almost 34 years the 27th of this month. I think it is a great idea to give her a baby shower! People don't think about whether the mother is married or not! It doesn't matter! Besides, even if somebody else does offer, you can still give her one too! Heck, you live in Tennessee, and that is the way it usually is around here where I live. A friend might give her one, but I think it would be just fine if you give her one too.

I think it is a wonderful idea, throw her a shower and just enjoy the whole occasion! Then afterward, you sit down on the bed, spread out all the baby things and just dream. Oh what fun! A baby shower! You and your daughter are going to have so much fun!! Makes me get all excited about it too! I love babies!! New life always excites me. Hey I even got to see one of my grandbabies be born! It was wonderful!

Okay, I'll shut up, mention a baby around me, and I just go nuts!

Willie:D

[kimlovescats]

Originally posted by nibblets

Also, I must say...looking at your pic on your little avatar...You do not look anywhere near old enough to have a 19 yr old....I thought you were in your early 20's. :D You go girl!

LOL!!!! I was hiding behind Tucker man!!!! Since that picture .... taken about a year ago, I have aged too much! I will be the big 40 next month!!! :eek: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! :)

[kimlovescats]

(((HUGS))) to Willie .... you are such a sweetheart! Hey, we "middle Tennesseans" have to stick together!!! :D

[heinz57_79]

I say give the girl a shower! :D I think it's great that she has a mom who supports her and is excited about the baby! My gf had her first child when she was 15 (25 years ago!) and she didn't really have anyone to support her then, even her hubby was only lukewarm about the idea. :rolleyes: Personally, I don't think it should matter what's "acceptable" these days... I reckon if the idea feels good, run with it! :)

Congrats, btw! Everyone is getting preggers but me... *sigh* Be sure to post pics when the little one pops out! ;)

[shais_mom]

I think it is a wonderful/sweet idea for you to throw her one!

[Vio&Juni]

OF COURSE, YOU SHOULD!

[lbaker]

If I were closer I not only would attend but cater for you! And sponser! All support coming from the East Coast for all. *your cat is goofy* love it!

[Pam]

I think it's a wonderful idea for you to throw her a shower. I do believe that just about anything goes these days so go ahead and plan to welcome that baby!!!!!

Oh, I do hope you are permitted to be in the delivery room. When my grandson, Christian, was born 2 1/2 years ago I was allowed in, along with my son-in-law and his mom. It was the most wonderful experience in the world watching my baby have a baby! :) I can't wait until October and I know you can't either! ;)

[catcrazylady]

Give the girl a shower! Nobody pays any attention to any of the "rules" today. My mom gave my sister and niece two or three showers and she gave me my wedding shower. It was just the norm for us.

So it's a baby GIRL!! How wonderful! Do we have any names picked out? I know you both must be so excited! Tabitha has certainly got you all in training but lets just hope the new baby girl doesn't do earlobes!http://petoftheday.com/talk/images/our_smilies/biggrin.gif

To keep this official: Griffin you are one happy and relaxed kitty!

[lynnestankard]

CONGRATULATIONS Kim - what wonderful news:D

Of course you should give your dear daughter a baby shower (we don't have them over here though!) - what a wonderful time for both of you - and just think 3 generations of girls together come October!!
I can imagine the excitement you're feeling - all the plans and 'stuff' to get! WOW!!

My friend (who is 39) had a new baby 6 weels ago and I'm enjoying him like a grandson - he's called Rowan and he's gorgeous and yesterday he LAUGHED at us both - we we're so chuffed!!

Ooohhh babies - **grin** **grin** **grin**

OH yes - Griffin - you're a totally daft batty cat xxxxx

Lynne

[catlady1945]

Congratulations.

I would say don't do it yourself, but can you get a close friend or relative to do the hosting (but you actually do the work).

[prechrswife]

We have a similar situation going on in our church right now. The mother-to-be is unmarried and attends sporadically. Her parents are in church every week. Some of us from the church are giving her a shower, but instead of holding it in the church fellowship hall, we are having it at someone's home. Invitations will be mailed, not posted in the church bulletin.

If something like this is not an option, I personally see nothing wrong with you giving her a baby shower.

[lizzielou742]

Congratulations!!

When I was 18, a close high school friend of mine got pregnant. Her mother threw her a baby shower and it was fine! She actually had it in a local VFW-type hall so most of the people there didn't even know who technically was the "hostess." We just assumed it was her family who threw her the shower. Or, if she still lives with you, you can throw it at your house and then you will have the advantage of not having to haul all the gifts home ;)

Best wishes to your daughter :D

[catnapper]

Piping in here late....

Of course you can give the girl a shower! When my sister-in-law was pregnant two years ago, she had more showers than anybody! Man, she made out! HER mom , MY mom, work, friends, and probably the neighborhood all threw her showers. Many people went to three or 4 (imagine 3 or 4 gifts? :eek: :D )

The days of "proper shower ettitquette" are long gone and people throw showers because they love the person who's having the baby, and not worrying over whether someone else will think it "wrong" --- Poo on them! :)

But, then again, I was SOOOO upset that my SIL knew about her shower (not only did she know, she planned it down to the menu and guest list, and what time and day.) :rolleyes: Looking back now, why was I sooo upset about it not being a surprise.

A shower is basically a celebration of a new life coming into the world and preparing the mom with all the little (and big) things she might not otherwise have or be able to buy. Have fun and throw the best shower Tennesse has ever known!

[catmandu]

If She is that young , there are probably a lot of things , that they need , to start out , with! Church , not withstanding , it is Christain Charity , to help the Young!

[kimlovescats]

Thank you ALL soooooo much for the encouragement and support! YES, I AM excited about my 1st baby having HER 1st baby!!!!:D The baby's name is to be Jenna Ashlyn! ;)

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Congratulations Grandma!!! :D

I have to chime in with everyone else, if you want her to have a shower, throw her a shower! So few of my friends have had babies :o that I'm really not up on the proper protocal, but being married or not makes no difference. Like Catmandu says, they are young and need everything to help them get started with the baby.

The thing that upset me long ago was with a friend's first baby, everyone was all excited and she had a shower. When the second baby came along it was like no one cared and there was no shower for that baby. He deserved one too, didn't he? Of course like I say, I have no idea of what's "proper" and what's not when it comes to babies.

The only thing I would do is talk to some of her friends. They might be unsure about what's right and what's not also, and they might welcome a little direction from someone older and "in the know." ;) :D

[sirrahbed]

I am hanging around in General too much so am late getting in here! Omegosh OF COURSE your daughter deserves a baby shower!!! I hope she has several!! One thing though - and you said it too - it would be nice if you could just go, relax and enjoy it - that is why I hope one of her friends decides to do the planning - maybe with your advice?? Maybe they are also wondering what and how to do things?? The *grandma* really should be able to just sit and enjoy!!! But if you WANT to do it, GO FOR IT:D I bet she will end up with more than one shower anyway. Wait and see!!

[Corinna]

I understand your feelings , I had the same decsion about my daughters wedding coming up . They are living to gether and have been for a while. We settled on a non relious cemony at a local land mark.
A shower among her freinds would be good as she will need lots of things. It doesn't have to be a huge thing something small and informal.
Congrats anyway grannie.

[Catsnclay]

My niece was 17, pregnant and unmarried too and her mother didn't think it was "proper" to give her a shower. Well.........don't tell me what right or wrong!! :eek: I gave her the biggest baby shower ever! I went all out with the decorations, gifts, balloons, etc. To this date she still thanks me for it.

Just because she is unmarried doesn't mean she should be treated any different than anyone else. Go for it, you will be happy and so will your daughter.

I just did a Internet search of "baby" and found a ton of information for showers, names, etc. You don't have to buy any books at the store or anything.

[Logan]

Don't throw a shower, throw a "Celebration of Life", Kim!!!! :D I think it is a wonderful idea, and will bring this baby into life in style!!!!!! :) I'm so happy for you because you are being so supportive of your daughter and this baby will be so LOVED!!!! :)

[Cataholic]

WHAT? Unmarried AND you think she 'deserves' a shower? He he he...you aren't indirectly talking about me, are you? I don't see the issue with the married/non married part...just the part about you throwing it- right? Isn't that what you are asking? Of course, any new life, and the new mom to be (like the new bride to be) is in need of things..so, I don't think protocol turns on that(whatever is left of protocol, anyhow).

I think it would be a lot of work for you, alone. My sister in law and neice (her daughter) are 'hosting' mine..and I know it is alot of work. So, if you could rope in a friend or two, get their help. If not, host the biggest and bestest you can. You only get one opportunity, right?

Congrats!

[rg_girlca]

Congratulations Kim on the upcoming of your first grandbaby.

I agree with everyone else. Throw her a shower with the help of a few friends and have fun, fun, fun.