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tuxluvr
05-02-2004, 06:38 PM
My father passed away 3 years ago, and my 5 siblings all wondered how my mother, then 76 years old, would be able to cope. Their 55th anniversary would have been but two weeks after my father's passing.

As time and the natural order of things dictate, I, like other petulant teenager girls, didn't appreciate Mom at the time. In fact, I always thought she was a little square, a bit too strict, and didn't smile a lot.

As I watched my mother through the emotional rollercoaster of the last days of Dad's life, it struck me how extraordinarily strong this woman is. Through painful tears and heart-wrenching love, she made us all realize it was time to "let go", that existing on machines was not Dad's wish, that he was, as she said "At heaven's door, let him go in"

Since that time she has grown, and we have all reconnected in ways I never dreamed possible. She has a sweet, naive outlook on so many things in life, yet is so very tenacious in her faith and love it awes me.

To all mothers, mothers to be, grandmothers, grandfathers, fathers sons and daughters: In a day and age when we look to an instant answer to all of life's challenges, consider that a parent's work is never done, it requires enormous faith, sacrifice and patience, and is often taken all too much for granted.

Parenthood is the one grassroots effort that can truly change the course of humanity. These are the roots of our core values, our center. Someone once said that (roughly) "As the family goes, so goes the nation". The longer I live, the more I realize the pure truth of that statement.

No one is perfect, and successful parenting is not defined by such boundaries as wealth or position. My father supported 6 children on a farmer's income that would be considered near poverty level, even when we were growing up....yet his philosophy, as one of his favorite writers penned was "to live in a house by the side of the road and be a friend to man".

He was a kind and funloving man, and over 500 people came to pay respects and tell a story about their connection with him during his life. It was stunning to me that one simple farmer might touch so many lives, and brought home to me the value of a single life, and that it has to do not with how many things we accumulate, but how many other lives we enrich with our own precious gift.

Your parents, with a little miraculous intervention, provided you the gift of life. Share it in a way that makes others want to cherish their own life a little more!

trayi52
05-02-2004, 06:49 PM
That is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. Makes me even more proud to be a parent, grandmother. What a great gift you have given us. These word alone are such a special gift. You see, I lost my dad in 97, and he was also a farmer.

I thought he was the strongest man I had ever seen. Thought there was no way he could ever die. But when he did, I felt my life was shattered. I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to him, and that was so very painful to me. He was mortal afterall and died, leaving me so devastated that I still find it painful to talk or think about.

Thank you for your wonderful tribute to Mothers and Fathers.

Willie

sirrahbed
05-02-2004, 07:24 PM
tuxluvr - this is a lovely and loving tribute to your mom and dad, and of course to all mothers and fathers. My own mother died just over three years ago and of course Mother's Day makes me think of her. My father will soon be 80 years old.
Your mom sounds amazing and what a blessing to have faith modeled for you!
I am going to be a first time grandmother in just a few months! The anticipation of that day has brought such hope to our lives which have been in terrible turmoil over so many awful life events of the past years!
Happy times/sad times...I feel sad for our PT Jazzcat who just lost her mom this past Friday night and now has to face this Mother's Day without her mom. That first one is very hard!
Anyway, after far too much time in the "dog house" :eek: - how wonderful to stop in here and read this post! Thanks so much!!
Blessings,
Debbie

Vio&Juni
05-03-2004, 02:49 AM
What a wonderful thread!

CathyBogart
05-03-2004, 03:11 AM
My mother has always been a kind of superwoman to me. She stayed home from the time I was about four until my brother (now 13) was school-age. As soon as she had three kids all gone during the day, she went back to school. She got a degree and is not an X-ray tech. (It took her longer than usual to get the degree since she was taking acre of us but she pulled it off!)

Afte about a year of having two incomes in the house we were able to buy a bigger house!! (We really needed it...while we all had our own rooms in the old house, it was TINY, and we were going to kill each other!)

Now she's working four days a week, still has three kids living at home, and she's taking the time to do things that *she* wants to do. We've got a system down where my siblings and I get most of the housework done, she cooks (because she loves to, and because nobody will eat what I cook!), and she's got plenty of time to enjoy herself! I know she's taking a Yoga class, and I believe she's enrolling in some continuing education classes soon.

I've always been amazed at how upbeat she is, how much *fun* she is (My "Mom is embarrassing!" stage was VERY short), and how strict she can be at the same time! I haven't decided what I'm going to do for her for Mother's day, but it'll be something fun. She's not a materialistic person, so if I bet her a *thing*, it's usually something funny (Like a Monty Python actuion figure), but She's told me that she really prefers just goin gout and hanging out, so last year Brian and I took our moms bowling together. We've got to think of something else this year, and I'm looking forward to it!

trayi52
05-03-2004, 03:30 AM
Awww, how sweet, WolfChan! Last year, for mother's day my youngest daughter brought me Grover home for mothers day. Grover came out of a trashcan, didn't cost her anything, but you know that was the best gift I have ever received for mothers day! The gift of love!! Don't you think that was a wonderful gift?

Your mother sounds so wonderful! You are very lucky to have her, and she is very lucky to have you too.

Willie:)

CathyBogart
05-03-2004, 03:51 AM
http://nasicus.ophiophobia.net/images/misc/momandgrandpaprentice.jpg

My mom with her grandfather, who passed away last week. (Don't be sad for him, he was 99 and ready, and he had a very happy life!) :)

tuxluvr
05-03-2004, 06:55 AM
I love these stories! And Wolf, any mom who is a Monty Python fan is AOK in my book! :)

I think any gift that reaches into the understanding of the heart of another will always trump the material thing. One Christmas, I gave my parents a collection of stories I had written over the years while traveling - I didn't know if they would think it was corny...but you would have thought I had given them a pot of platinum!

They talked about it for years after that, shared it with their church friends.

For all the other passing fads, the gift of self will be most cherished!


(OH,and when I mentioned about my attitude when I was in my teens, I should also say (now that I am pushing 50) that any woman who could give birth to 6 children in 10 years and raise them all to be self sufficient, happy human beings has earned her stripes---I'm guessing we gave her numerous occasions to be "tense" in our young fledgling years!) Kudo's Mom on a job well done!

sirrahbed
05-03-2004, 11:45 AM
WolfChan - I think your tribute to your mom is very sweet! My daughter is nearly 20 - last year she gave me a certificate for a massage! THAT was such a treat! Would your mom like something like that?? Or maybe fingernails if she wears those? One of my all time favorite presents is a bead and ribbon lizard that she made for me when she was younger. My middle son goes to the dollar store and finds me something funny! I love that too! I still have a metal box with all my cards and stuff from way back to preschool and my oldest is almost 26!!:D
Have to laugh though, unlike your mom, I have never been very *cool*.:D :o :rolleyes: :p

CathyBogart
05-03-2004, 11:57 AM
A massage is a good idea...actually, one of my best friends is graduating this year with a certificate in massage therapy and he needs people to work on for his final. *Ponder* ^_^

sirrahbed
05-03-2004, 12:05 PM
WOW! Have YOU volunteered yet? I sure would!! Feels Sooooo gooooood!!! Bet your mom would love it!!!

ramanth
05-03-2004, 12:43 PM
What a lovely post tuxluvr. :)

I don't really know how to go into detail, but I think my parents are just awesome. I'm always trying to find a reason to visit them or do things together.

:D

moosmom
05-03-2004, 11:28 PM
Tuxluvr,

Thank you for such a beautiful tribute!!

Unfortunately, my Mom (a beautiful lady with alot of class, who was my best friend) passed away when I was just 19, at the age of 44 from lung cancer. My Dad passed away 6 years ago, 2 months shy of his 70th birthday. I miss them both terribly.

There are times when women who are the same age that my Mom WOULD'VE been, passes through my line at Bed Bed & Beyond. It gets me to wondering what my Mom would be like had she been alive today.

*Sigh* :(

trayi52
05-04-2004, 12:10 AM
Donna, how sad, I remember now about how you nursed you dad. I know it is still hard. Seems like we lost our dad at about the same time didn't we? I remember us talking about it at one time.

Willie

CathyBogart
05-04-2004, 12:49 AM
Originally posted by sirrahbed
WOW! Have YOU volunteered yet? I sure would!! Feels Sooooo gooooood!!! Bet your mom would love it!!!

On a weekly basis. ^_- He does Swedish and Shiatsu, and I love both of 'em!

I'm loving this thread so far, it's so touching to read about everyone's parents...

moosmom
05-04-2004, 11:59 AM
Trayi52,


Seems like we lost our dad at about the same time didn't we? I remember us talking about it at one time.

Boy do I EVER remember!! It meant alot to me to know that there was someone else who could relate to everything!

(((hugs)))