Can't we all just get along?

[Madelyn]

My two fabulous felines are Colby & Charlie. Colby is about 7 and have had her since she was about a year and a half. She had a sister, Mimi, who sadly was put down due to cancer last spring. A few weeks after that, I got Charlie (he is about 4) from our local PAWS. Mimi was the dominant cat.

Colby & Mimi got along fairly well, not buddies, but tolerable. Different story w/these two. Colby still hisses at Charlie when he gets w/in 2 feet of her and he in turn will tear into her on occasion. We've gotten to the point where they'll both sleep on the bed now but I wish there was a way for them to be, if not best buds, at least tolerate each other a little better. I've tried both negative and positive reinforcement and just ignoring it also. None seem to make any difference. Any ideas or is this just something that maybe time will help (or not).

[Denyce]

Hi And Welcome to Pet Talk.

I don't really have any great advice. I have 4 females and they all just barely tolerate each other. Certain ones are better with others than other ones. For example....Brianna will touch noses with Katie and Deirdre once in a while but she and Kaliban can't look at one another without hissing. And Katie will run around and scream at all the other cats at times...but will lay down near Deirdre. Deirdre doesn't mind any of them coming to close to her as long as she isn't in my lap. If she is in my lap then Katie and Kaliban can sit next to me and she doesn't mind but Brianna can't get anywhere near me or Deirdre will swat and hiss at her. Kaliban just barely tolerates Katie and Deirdre and will once in a great while play with Katie...but like I said in the earlier sentence she won't let Brianna get anywhere near her. This has been going on for 2 and a half years now. I figure that as long as there isn't any bloodshed and no one is peeing in an inappropriate spot then I am winning the game.

I just holler at them when it gets too loud. Sometimes I make them go into seperate corners and look out windows till they get over whatever annoyed them at the moment. I have tried the Feliway and I found it didn't reall work all that well. I find that most of the aggression comes from jealosy about Meowmie time. When we come home quietly and unexpectedly we often find all of them on the bed together...not touching mind you...but on the bed together.

Denyce

[Madelyn]

I'll just have to hope that maybe in time it will settle down more. It's certainly better than when I first brought Charlie home. Since I'm currently single, I think you hit it on the mark about the jealousy of Charlie having to share me. Thanks for your reply!

[Felicia's Mom]

I don't have any suggestions but I do have the same problem. My cats are 11 and 14 years old. I have had both from the time they were kittens, and they never have gotten along.
Yet they eat out of food dishes placed side by side (even eating out of the same dish).
I agree that it is jealousy.
Welcome to Pet Talk!

[Madelyn]

Thanks Felicia. And your cats are beautiful!

[krazyaboutkatz]

Welcome to Pet Talk Madelyn.:) Unfortunately some cats will never get along with each other. I have 4 males and my oldest boy Storm is very jealous of my youngest boy Cirrus. I think he only terrorizes and chases him when I'm home but I'm not sure. I've just learned to live with it and some days are better than others. I sometimes have to give Storm a time out and separate him in another room for a while. Hopefully they'll learn to get along better some day.

How long have you had Charlie? I've only had Cirrus for a little over 9 months now. Good luck and please keep us updated.

[jazzcat]

Hi and Welcome to PT.

I don't have advice either but if you figure something out please let me know. I have three cats - Ripley 11, Jazz 1 1/2 and Scout around 1 1/2. We've had Ripley since he was a kitten. We added Jazz as a kitten last summer and I got Scout at around a year old this July. Jazz and Scout tolerate each other and play but it often turns a little violent and poor Scout gets the brunt of it. Jazz gets along with Ripley pretty well, not buddies but no fighting. Scout and Ripley are a different story. Ripley is afraid of Scout and all she has to do is look at him sometimes and he will run and of course she chases swatting his butt the whole time. She makes him miserable sometimes and I don't know what to do. He is almost four times her sizes but that doesn't seem to matter. I'm beginning to think this will just be life around here. I would love if they could coexist better so Ripley wouldn't get so stressed. It has improved some from the beginnng but there still is a long way to go.

At least Scout stopped hissing at Ripley some time ago.

Anyway, good luck.

[KitKat023]

We started out with JoJo(dog). We have 6 kittens, 3 dogs, and a parakeet. 3 of the kittens were adopted out of the local newspaper back in late June. We adopted a puppy the same way a month later. A stray momma cat had 3 kittens on our neighbors back porch, we adopted the kittens and tried to keep the mother, but she enjoyed being outside more, though she still comes in once in awhile and checks on her kittens. Somehow we got Sahara(dog) from a friend. Not a one of them got along at first, but now they all play and act like they have been the best of friends forever. Excluding remix, our parakeet of course, though when he gets out they play with him, but do not try to hurt him. At first, the older kittens would try to beat up the smaller ones, JoJo would harass all the other animals, and with all 6 kittens having strays for mothers, they were all very skittish. Now they all tolerate us, and only one of the older kittens is extremely skittesh. The oldest litter is 2 females and a male, the youngest is 2 males and a female. It is weird how they all get along. I'm just glad, there are 6 rooms total, and olnly 2 humans here. Plenty of room for all the animals to play with each other.

[Madelyn]

Well it's nice to know I'm not the only one w/this problem. Charlie outweighs Colby. When I had both Mimi & Colby, there was a somewhat similar problem w/Mimi attacking Colby at times. A friend said try saying "NO" to Colby when Mimi would attack her. The idea was that I was acknowledging to Mimi that she was the dominant cat. I tried it the next time it happened and I have to admit, things changed quite a bit after that. Now whether it really worked or was just a coincidence, I don't know but Mimi stopped attacking Colby. I've tried the same thing w/Charlie and Colby but to no avail. Thanks all for your replies. A friend here at work told me about this site and I love it! Cats rule (of course, they've ALWAYS known that).

[AvaJoy]

I've read that is is best not to intercede, but rather allow the cats to work out their rank and pecking order on their own terms, even if some fur will be flying. Schuyler (http://catoftheday.com/archive/2003/December/02.html) and Debra (blk/wht) get into some wicked altercations and it is hard to sit back and watch without interfering, because he has vision only out of one eye and she swats him about 4 times to his one swipe. He is much bigger, but she is much quicker!:p They go at it for a few rounds, but then all is peaceful once again in catville.

You may want to try spraying Feliway, and I understand it also comes in a plug-in version. The synthetic phermones are supposed to mimic those excreted from the cats' cheeks when they scent-mark, thereby imparting a calm and relaxing atmosphere to them by reducing anxieties. It may help with your situation.