Lily is here now - but oh well...

[Kirsten]

I brought Lily home about 2 hours ago - and so far, Lily and Luna still growl and hiss at each other!

Luna is so mad meanwhile that she even paws at me, something she never did! :(

First, I thought it was normal cat behavior, and Luna still seemed to be relaxed, even though she was watching Lily constantly and growled when she came near, but since she saw Lily eating, she became totally mad and now has her in one corner and tells her she's the boss. The fact that Lily's always trying to be close to me doesn't make it easier; I don't want Luna to become jealous but at this point, it doesn't make much sense to talk to her because it's making her even madder. So I decided it's the best to let them work it out, as long as they don't attack each other.

I know, this is probably still normal behavior and there's still a possiblilty they can bond later, but now I'm nervous this won't happen....

Kirsten

[aly]

Hi Kristen!

I strongly suggest separating the 2 for approx 2 weeks. That way Luna can slowly get used to Lily's smell. You may even have to give her more than 2 weeks. Rub towels on each of them and put the towels under their food bowls. That way they can smell the other cat while they're eating.

Luna's reaction is very normal. I am fairly confident that with seperating them and introducing them slowly, Luna will come around. She is still young and will probably learn to like having a ktity around :)

Good luck!

[emily_the_spoiled]

First of all, congratulations on bringing Lily home.

My advice is not to worry about the growling and hissing. They will work things out and it will be okay. When I first brought Tanner home, Emily ignored him for the first couple of days and then hissed and growled at him for a few more. But once she realized that he wasn't going anywhere they made their peace with each other. Give it time and patience (and a couple of glasses of wine wouldn't hurt either ;) ;) )

Now can we have some pictures....

[Kirsten]

I can see your point and thought about that already, but that would mean Luna won't have access to some parts of my apartment, and I'm sure she can't deal with that - she hates closed doors!

Kirsten

[bisi.cat]

Stop worrying at this point!!!
Luna and Lily know each other only for two hours and it's very rare that it's love at first sight...just try to relax yourself and watch them...as long as they don't seriously attack each other it's okay...

I know how hard it is to see for you how jealous Luna reacts and as she was first in your home you have a more close bond to her...it hurts that she doesn't share your feelings and happiness about Lil' Lily...but give them a little time and they'll both come around!!!
Hugs to you and your furry sweethearts...
Try not to worry and relax!!!
First you have to get comfortable with the idea of having two cats now and the rest will follow...it's a strange situation for all three of you, but as soon as you'll accept and relax it will start to work out!!!

[catland]

This is perfectly normal. Luna is just explaining the rules to Lily. Give Luna lots of attention so that she feels less insecure.

Once Luna realizes that Lily isn't going anywhere, she'll adapt.

[RedHedd]

I know it may seem mean to you to separate them, but it's best for the cats. It took my two quite a bit longer than two weeks to be able to be in each other's presence; hissing, growling and hiding are normal - the new one is invading the other's territory. They may hate the closed doors, but let them hate it; they will hate it more if a new cat-being is in THEIR territory and both will start to exhibit aggressive behavior because neither will feel safe. Let the new cat have a safe place, introduce them slowly - the towel swapping to get them used to each other's scents works extremely well.

Yes, it will be inconvenient for you for a while, but it's not forever. Your cats will (eventually) love you for it. Mishi was kept in my bathroom for his first several weeks with me. It meant I had to rearrange Mitzi's eating and litter box locations, but she was fine with that - she was the resident cat at the time, even though I'd only had her for two weeks before Mishi came on the scene. Now he and Mitzi cavort together throughout the apartment, but he still goes to the his bathroom when he wants to feel safe. It's taken them over three months to get to where they're almost sleeping together. They are getting closer and I will post a pic when it happens.

Good luck to you and your new Lily. Just remember to be patient and give them BOTH lots of loving; they're both scared and jealous right now.

[K & L]

This is normal! We've never seperated our cats when we introduced new ones. They always managed to find a place to hide out if they wanted. It may take a few weeks, but I bet they'll be best of friends in no time. Hang in there.....patience is the key right now!

[jenluckenbach]

Back when I introduced my first 2 cats I did not know about keeping them separate at first, so they had to live with each other from the start. Cat #1 HATED cat #2 !!!! She puffed herself up, growled, hissed, you name it. But after 3 days they worked out all the "cat stuff" and were unseparable friends for the rest of their lives.
Not all cats will adjust in 3 days though. Concider yourself lucky if they are comfortable with each other in 2 weeks. But don't rule out frienship even if it takes a bit longer.
Let them be cats......interfere only if necessary. They NEED to work it out. (and that is sometimes LOUD) :D
Give Luna the majority of the attention and have fun. Lilly will only be a kitten for a little while.

[moosmom]

Kirsten,

I think that Luna is just trying to show Lily who is the boss in the house. That happened with MooShoo and Doogie. Everytime Moo tried to show Doogie who was boss, Doogie backed right down. It didn't take long at all. Now they're the best of pals. And...Doogie and Fawnie are a love match :eek: They're always seen laying together head to head, grooming each other. It's quite cute. I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that Doogie and Fawnie came out of the same shelter??

Give them time. They'll calm down. I'd praise Luna a little more so she won't feel so left out.

[Barbara]

Kirsten you are an impatient girl (which I understand very well). In your last post you said you wouldn't expect them to be friends in the first 5 minutes. Tigris and Filou have not been friends for more than one week although both were kittens of 13 resp. 15 weeks old:eek:

I was in panic then (stupid me) - but then there came the day when both were lying in the same basket.

So try to relax.... (I know to say that is easy) -what I hear from Luna and Lily sounds absolutely normal:) :)

And have fun!

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Like everyone else said, this is normal and they'll work it out. 2 hours is not near enough time for them to become used to each other. Luna has to establish that she's the boss, and Lily has to let it be known that she needs to be near you and Luna is going to have to deal with that. They will work it out, it'll just take a little time. And don't be surprised if it takes a few days or even weeks. And even then, they might just end up like T & P where they more or less tolerate each other, but don't really interact at all unless absolutely necessary. But I don't see that happening in your case. I think Luna is still young enough that she will come to enjoy having Lily around. It's just something new for her and she has to get used to it.

Now, like someone else said, can we have some pictures please? ;) :D

[catlover4ever]

Kirsten, Congratulations on bringing Lily home. :)

This is normal behavior, I do agree with others that if you can seperate Luna and Lily for awhile that will be a little less stressful for Luna. All of my furkids still growl and hiss at each other on occasion, Luna and Lily will have to establish their "pecking order" but eventually they will co-exist with each other, just have patience and stop worrying.

Congrats again.

Meg

[jazzcat]

I can tell you from experience that separating them for a while is the best. I've just gone through that with Scout and I kept her in a guest room for a week before I slowly introduced her to Jazz and Ripley. There was a little growling and hissing for a few days but it finally ended. Scout has been here three weeks and one day now and even though everyone is still establishing boundaries they are getting along wonderfully. Jazz and Scout will wrestle and chase each other and Scout seems respectful of Ripley's old age and leaves him alone.

It takes patience and I do recommend separating them to give each the chance to get accustomed to the other's scent.

Good luck and Congrats on bringing your baby home.

[Kirsten]

I'm just trying to seperate them now but I'm afraid it won't work. Luna is scratching the door from one side, and Lily is crying her lungs out on the other side, and you can probably hear her in the entire house!

Meanwhile it's almost midnight and they still growl and hiss, and Luna is so mad at me that she's attacking me.

Lily is more relaxed now, she purrs when she's with me and always wants to be by my side. Once or twice I also saw her approaching Luna from behind and sniffing her, but as soon as Luna notices, they hiss. But Lily is definitely more interested in Luna than the other way around. It seems Luna is trying to switch back to her daily routine (like hunting insects at night), but as soon as she's busy with something, Lily shows up, growls, and Luna gets mad... All in all, Lily seems to cope better so far.

I suppose that's still normal, it's such a huge impact on Luna's life...

Kirsten

[NoahsMommy]

Kristen,
Do you have a screen door? If so, can you take it off and put it in front of the door Lily is in? That way, they wouldn't cry or scratch and they'd still be separated?

Integrating a new cat can be very stressful, its hard dealing with scratching on the door when you just want them to go lay down and be happy. :) Just be patient and they'll come around.

As far as Luna, make sure she's given a TON of extra love. That way, she'll have a hard time being mad at you. ;)

[Kirsten]

No, I don't have such a door. :(

Lily always wants to be close to me, and I can see how it's breaking Luna's heart. I feel so bad for her.

It's bed time now, and I'm afraid Lily will decide to sleep in my bed which will look to Luna like another slap into her face, literally spoken.

Of course I'm trying to give a lot of love to Luna now, even though she doesn't seem to appreciate it at the moment. I'm also showing her she's the alpha cat; she's the first who gets her bowl filled and she's getting extra attention. But while she's pawing at me, Lily comes and purrs and cuddles, and it's hard to resist her.

Funny thing is, Luna hasn't been in my bed in ages, but since Lily slept there earlier today, she's suddenly showing interest in this place again. Same goes for other places Lily has explored. Geez, they're acting like jealous little kids! LOL

Looks like we still have a very long road to go...

Kirsten

[PayItForward]

Originally posted by Kirsten
Funny thing is, Luna hasn't been in my bed in ages, but since Lily slept there earlier today, she's suddenly showing interest in this place again. Same goes for other places Lily has explored. Geez, they're acting like jealous little kids! LOL

Jealous Kids is the right phrase. I would let Luna have her own way, if she wants to sleep in your bed, let her. Just until she feels more secure.

We have always let the cat decide on how quickly they want to be friendly with the resident cat. We have always made sure that new cat is seperated from resident cats when we are not present.

And the best piece of advice I got when I introduced Milly to George......Relax and leave them be.

Relax ....As the kits will pick up on you moods and worry if you do!!
Leave them be....Don't interfer if they hiss or fight, unless you see blood. I made earlier introductions harder as I interfered ,these days I still watch but I leave them to sort stuff out cat way.

PS. It can take up to six months before a cat truely settles in some cases, though I'm sure it will be quicker for Luna & Lily.:D


WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS ???

[Cataholic]

Kirsten,
Really, I can't tell you anything the others haven't already said. I think it was ACGAS???? that said, "a glass of wine will help"...patience, my friend, patience. I have six that live together...peacefully. But, would you believe, littersmates, Allie and Dakky, sometimes STILL fuss with one another? :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kirsten, I'm so happy to hear that Lily is now home with you. :) As others have said, it just takes time and patience. Not all cats will get along quickly and some may never get along. I was very lucky in that when I adopted my RB Pepper as a kitten he bonded with Storm in just 1 hour. I thought this was normal but now I realise that I was just very lucky.

Right now all of my cats get along very well except for Storm and Cirrus. :( I've had Cirrus for almost 5 months now and Storm still chases him into my bathroom or under my bed. They may never like each other but only tolerate each other. Time will tell. I'm sure you'll have better luck with Luna and Lily because they're both young. Good luck and please keep us updated.

Please post some pictures when you can. :)

[shais_mom]

I have never introduced kitties so I have no advice but just to be patient.
Congratulations on lovely Lily and pics asap would be wonderful!

[catland]

I know this must feel so stressful. You see all the pics of the kitties at PT that get along so well that you might feel like something is wrong with your kitties.

This is not the case. They will adjust. They might become snuggle kitties but they might not. My kitties don't snuggle or groom or any of those other cute things that some people's kitties do, but they know that they are family.

Take care - it will get better.:)

[IttyBittyKitty]

We've had a lot of experience, and fun, introducing new cats over the years! I've seen the gamut: love at first sight, indifference, right through to hate at first sight :eek: :eek: My Mum's two dislike each other and they are Mum and daughter!

No matter how bad it was at first, the one thing that was common in all these situations is tolerance. Cats are territorial creatures, and once the "pecking" order is established, they seem to learn to tolerate one another. Mum introduced two Siamese crosses (mum and daughter who don't like eachother) to two purebred Burmese (her boyfriend's cats) and despite much hissing and carrying on, the four cats lived together for over a year before the relationship went bust. Well, that time anyway! :rolleyes:

Be patient with Luna, she is used to being Top Cat and it will probably take some time to readjust. Whether she learns to love Lily, or merely tolerate her, they will both love their Meowmie, which is what counts :)

[moosmom]

Kirsten,

Cataholic is right...a glass (or 2 ;) ) of wine will definitely help the stress level.

The one thing I've learned after introducing all my cats is, as long as there is no bloodshed, don't worry about it!!!

Hang in there, things WILL calm down. In the meantime, *sip, sip* ;)

[ScantyNebula]

Kirsten, this sounds EXACTLY like the situation my Toby and Lily had. Only it was the other way around - Lily was showing TOBY who was boss :eek: :eek: She bossed him around! Evertime she would see him she would hiss at him, and, after time they began swiping at each other. I tried separating them, but Toby/Lily would scratch at the door constantly - the thing is it seemed like even though they appeared to hate each other, they wanted to be next to each other =/ Toby would always try to sniff her, and when she noticed, she would hiss and swipe at him. Toby would usually back off, until he finally started fighting back - thats when things started to improve in their relationship :)

Toby acted strangely first when Lily was around. I would try to pet him or pick him up and he would growl at ME! I'd say just give Luna her space, and when she comes to YOU for affection, give her extra! Let them wrestle ..I think they have to work out their differences ;)

It didn't take my furkids long to accept the fact that they had to live together, and give it time, I'm sure yours will too. Mine still aren't huge cuddlers, but they get along great now.

[Kirsten]

LOL, I think a bottle of wine isn't such a bad idea! :)

I'm trying to follow your advices here and not too worry too much, and I don't interfere when they're growling. It seems they're having less problems when I'm not around anyway, so I figure a lot of their behavior has to do with jealousy regarding my person.

They still hiss and growl when they meet each other, but they also relax and sleep - when they're in different rooms. Sometimes I'm closing the door behind Luna and me, that way I have some extra time with her without having Baby Lily around.

Even though Luna is the one who starts the hissing and growling, it's becoming more and more obvious that Lily is taking over the leading role here - not in an agressive way, but she knows how to get her little way. Here is showing that Luna has been taken away from her mommy and litter mates at the early age of 6 weeks, so she never had a chance to learn things like that, while Lily grew up in a household with her brother and 6 boxer puppies. Like I said, she's not agressive, but seems to have a lot of self confidence.

Here's (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?s=&postid=440046#post440046) a good example how she acts, so I think it's only a question of time till Lily is taking over here...


Kirsten

[Miss Meow]

You've had some great advice, so I won't add anything, except to say good luck :) Ours took about three weeks to accept the two new-comers, and Jasmine a few months to truly accept them, so day by day Lily and Luna will hopefully make progress.