PDA

View Full Version : Ban Teens and Pre teens from Chat Rooms



lizbud
07-20-2003, 10:23 PM
I found this report on the BBC site & thought it was a
interesting question. What do you think?

'Ban teens from chatrooms'

Children should be kept out of chat rooms, argues technology analyst Bill Thompson.

Do you know who your child is talking to on the net?
It was, it seems, the internet's fault. Young and foolish, 12-year old Shevaun Pennington found a friend online and decided that what he had to offer was more exciting than the boys in school.

She joins a long line of other children who have met people in chat rooms or over e-mail and been persuaded to turn an online friendship into a real-world one, with consequences that will terrify any parent.

It is traditional for those of us who have been online for many years to leap to the net's defence at times like this, arguing that parental ignorance is to blame and that anyway the net brings benefits which far outweigh any risks it may pose to children.

I don't propose to do this.

Shevaun's disappearance was the net's fault and we have to accept this.

She would not have had any contact with her 31-year old ex-Marine if it had not been for the easy access to e-mail and chat that today's children seem to demand as a right, and we should not pretend otherwise or blame inadequate supervision.

New understanding

Certainly, parents need to be aware of what their children are doing online, but none of us is perfect and always alert to danger.

We can restrict their access, or install safety software, but our kids also need space to grow up, privacy from even their parents, and a sense that they are trusted.


The experiences of Shevaun and other children like her have only confirmed my view that kids do not need to use chatrooms to talk to strangers

Bill Thompson

Forgot to add a link to original story for those who did not see it.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/07/17/world/main563664.shtml

Kfamr
07-20-2003, 11:05 PM
I think this is complete B.S.


Shevaun's disappearance was the net's fault and we have to accept this.

Was it also the net's fault that she left?
NO. Her parent's should be aware of where their child is at all times.

Was it the net's fault that she was allowed to have contact with this creep?
NO. Her parents could have easily not given their child permission to use the internet.

Who's fault was it?
Her Parents.


She would not have had any contact with her 31-year old ex-Marine if it had not been for the easy access to e-mail and chat that today's children seem to demand as a right, and we should not pretend otherwise or blame inadequate supervision.

Yes, It's correct that she wouldn't have contact with him. Her parents are the ones that provided the internet for her to have contact though.


Parents should be aware of what their children are accessing on the internet and who they are talking to. My parents often sit beside me or look over my shoulder as i type here, often agreeing with the things I type as well.

This all leads down to one thing:

PARENTS NEED TO SUPERVISE THEIR CHILDREN.

Especially with the creeps in the world today. They should have educated her with the harms of some people, such as this 31-year old Ex- Marine.

Personally, I think it would be BS to ban teenagers like myself and pre-teens from Chat Rooms. Life would be rather boring.


It is traditional for those of us who have been online for many years to leap to the net's defence at times like this, arguing that parental ignorance is to blame and that anyway the net brings benefits which far outweigh any risks it may pose to children.

I am not leaping to the net's defence. There's nothing to defend for the internet.

I'm defending MY right to speak and communicate with people all across the world and it SHOULD NOT be taken away because of some foolish child and her lacking of parental supervision.

It IS parental ignorance and it IS the parent's who are to blame.

Twisterdog
07-20-2003, 11:50 PM
I agree with Kfamr.

Children meet child molesters and pedophiles at the mall, at the playground, through pen-pal requests, at church, at scouts, etc.

Child molestation and kidnapping is not something new, only occuring since the advent of the internet. It's been going on for thousands of years, sadly.

Parents need to treat the internet like they do any other social, public place. Would you let your teen hang out in the red-light district at 2:00 am? Of course not. Yet, many parents let their kids on the internet without restrictions. Same thing.

My son has limits on the sites he can visit and the hours he can be on the internet. I monitor this personally, and I also subscribe to a privacy service that bans personal information, swear words, etc., as well as disabling the connection at a certain time.

The internet is not a babysitter, it's a window to the big, wide world. Parents need to be aware, and set limits ... as with anything.

Kfamr
07-21-2003, 12:44 AM
My parents have no limit of how long I can be on the internet because the only few sites I visit are Pet Talk and other dog/animal sites.

Ally Cat's Mommy
07-21-2003, 05:39 AM
My son (almost 15) has his own PC in his room. I regularly go onto the PC (in front of him - I dont sneak behind his back) - and look through the history folder etc, to see what sites he has been on. When I find "questionable" content I ask him to delete it.

The rule of thumb in the house is:

Would you listen to this music in front of your mother?
Would you tell this joke to your mother?
Would you show this picture to your mother?

If the answer is NO, then it does not belong in the house.

I also have a program which allows me to view his screen (we are networked) at any time. He knows I have it on my pc, so he knows that, at any time, I may look at what he is up to.

I dont enjoy being a policeman in my own house, but we have to take care of these children of ours until they can take care of themselves (and despite what he may THINK - at 15 my son is not ready for that responsibility!)

JMHO

Fuzzy317
07-21-2003, 05:52 AM
I have these comments, then I will be gone.

If you ban teens and pre teens from chat rooms, the only people affected will be those that follow rules.

I think "outlawing" chat rooms to certain ages, more teens/pre teens will be interested. I feel chat room attendance should be "policed/governed" by their parents.

allanimalswelcome
07-21-2003, 09:25 AM
On time when I was watching Tech TV they were showing this guy who installed this program which gives him an email every time his son signs off of the net. It gives him EVERYTHING. Emails he recieved/sent, chat transcripts, IM's, websites. I thought it was going too far. Sometimes you just want to vent to one of your friends through IM or email and to know it was going to end up under your parents eyes...:rolleyes:

I don't think teens or pre teens should get chat rooms banned. Maybe some teens aren't smart enough not to give out there phone number or their address but that doesn't mean we're all idiots.

Kfamr
07-21-2003, 09:32 AM
Originally posted by allanimalswelcome
Maybe some teens aren't smart enough not to give out there phone number or their address but that doesn't mean we're all idiots.


Exactly.

If I do give out personal information, it's after asking my parents and making sure they are aware of it.

Of course, the only people i've given personal information is to you all on Pet Talk. :)

primabella
07-21-2003, 09:40 AM
Totally agree with KayAnn and Twisterdog. The Internet provides us with many things but it is the parents' job to limit what they can access or not. I never really visit any other sites besides PT or other animal-related websites, and a few times other sites relating to a certain band or so on. My dad knows what I visit and I'm not afraid to tell him. He totally trusts me.

My sister, on the other hand, goes on all kinds of websites and when my parents pass by the computer room, she minimizes everything. So they go up and make sure what she's on.

I am well aware of all the dangers on the net. That's why I like to stick with chats like msn where I know who I'm talking to. Strangers have added me, and I just block them. I think that is being responsible on the net. People who talk to strangers just for the fun of it and get involved (relationships) is not being responsible about it. (I am not talking about messageboards. Chatrooms)

Ack...everyone has to blame the technology. lol When kids are violent they blame it on TV or video games, when kids swear, they blame it on the music, when people get kidnapped because of meeting with strangers, they blame it on the Internet. All these things start at home. It is the parents who need to limit their children what they can and can not do.

Also, why don't people ever blame violent books with swearing (I've seen them :p ) for violent actions? Books can influence too. :confused:

Anyways, I've said my bit...

Karen
07-21-2003, 10:43 AM
Pre-teens are banned by a law called COPPA from Bulletin Boards and probably chat rooms, too. If you are under the age of 13, you need to get parental permission to belong to places like Pet Talk.

Information and the media make everything seem like a crisis. When I was in Elementary school, did I get adbucted from the city library when I was approached by an older man in a trench coat? No. I didn't want to "go see a movie" with him anyway, AND my Mom was watching out of the corner of her eye and would have stopped me from going anywhere, anyway. Could I have been abducted by someone I "met" through regular mail when I was a teenager? Yes. Did it happen? No. I was wary enough not to agree to "meet up" with anyone I only knew through mail anywhere but at my parents' house, with my family home. My parents, had I asked, would have forbidden it anyway

Will there always be kids/people who will lie about their age, experiences, etc. and get into trouble? Yes. Is this the Internet's fault? No.

Do we hear more in the news about child abductions, and cases like Shevaughn's now than we did, say, 20 years ago? Yes. That is as much due to the 24-hour-news syndrome and valuable systems like the "Amber Alert" as it is due to the existence of the Internet.

Must parents and others who deal with and care for teens and pre-teens be ever vigilant, online and off? Yes.

catland
07-21-2003, 11:54 AM
I think that this is just another feel good political stunt to give the illusion that polititians are doing something. Should we also ban married people from using chat rooms? You hear about on-line romances that ruin marriages:eek:

PT would be a poorer place without our younger members (who also happen to have the most creative signatures:) )

carole
07-21-2003, 07:01 PM
I agree with what has been said on here.

Let's face it the internet is part of our world as we know it today, it is alway's the bad one's who spoil it for everyone.

Their is certainly a danger here, but as the other's have all said , parent's need to take responsibility, and moniter their children's online time.

Parent's need to sit down with their children, explain in detail, what is ok and what is not and be very clear on this with them.

I have just read an article where children innocently clicked on to something, that consquently added 1200 dollar's to their parent's phone bill, so one has to be very careful.

The internet is a wealth of information, my daughter use's it regularly to do her school projects, information available way beyond what I can tell her, it is a wonderful source.

Banning teenager's does not work for me.

lizbud
07-21-2003, 08:14 PM
Originally posted by carole


Their is certainly a danger here, but as the other's have all said , parent's need to take responsibility, and moniter their children's online time.

Parent's need to sit down with their children, explain in detail, what is ok and what is not and be very clear on this with them.


I agree that people should not be banned because of age.
What really bothers me is how many parents do you think
really "know" their young teenagers? How many take a active
part in guiding their behavior? In a perfect world there would
be no need for controls or bans or filtering software to protect
our children. This is not that perfect world.I think it finally and
ultimately falls to the parent or parents of every "child" to stay
connected to their children & moniter & limit their access to the
web. To be well rounded, mature people they should be more
involved with real life ,in age related activities, sports, clubs, etc.

IttyBittyKitty
07-22-2003, 08:04 AM
I agree with the sentiments expressed so far:

The Internet is NOT to blame for simply being the medium through which dangerous individuals are introduced to children. For this reason, banning children from chat rooms will not solve the problem - they will simply ignore the bans anway. As Karen mentioned, many sites have a restriction for under 13's, but there is no reliable method to "prove" that you are older than 13.

What it boils down to is simply BAD PARENTING. Many parents these days have divorced themselves from the timely methods of parenting. Instead of interacting with their child, educating him/her about the world and shaping his/her behaviour, parents are now simply dumping their teens in front of Playstations and computers with access to the Internet. In this fast-paced world where many women are forced to work to provide the essential second income, so few have the time or energy to be good parents. Worse still is the ever-growing army of "spoilt brats" who have never been taught decent behaviour for the same reasons.

Parents should never blame society, the Internet, or any other outside factors when their child is lured into a dangerous situation by a stranger UNLESS they tried their very best to educate their child about the dangers involved and tried to monitor his or her behaviour online.

Kfamr
07-22-2003, 03:40 PM
Originally posted by IttyBittyKitty

Parents should never blame society, the Internet, or any other outside factors



Parents shouldn't blame music either. I hate when people say something was influenced by music like Eminem says in his song "Sing For the Moment" :

"They say music can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it load a gun up for you , and cock it too"

Music has never altered my moods, but yes.. i do listen to different music when i'm in different moods.

Anyways, that's completely off the subject of matter, I'll shush now.
:D

sasvermont
07-22-2003, 03:56 PM
Yes, let's just ban teenagers! That's a good idea! Get rid of the little varmits!

Kfamr
07-22-2003, 04:20 PM
Originally posted by sasvermont
Yes, let's just ban teenagers! That's a good idea! Get rid of the little varmits!

Why is it such a good idea? Just curious. :)

CamCamPup33
07-22-2003, 04:37 PM
me too??

lizbud
07-22-2003, 04:55 PM
Originally posted by sasvermont
Yes, let's just ban teenagers! That's a good idea! Get rid of the little varmits!

Sas,

Do you mean just the WEB or the the country. LOL.:D :D

sasvermont
07-22-2003, 05:00 PM
Teenagers are! I was one! We all are/were. Teenagers are works in progress! How can we ban them from anything? Who would want to? I just find the entire topic rather comical. Teenagers are here to stay, forever! And their rights and allowances are growing and growing, ever expanding.....and there is no point in trying to put out the fire!

I do think that times have changed with how we look at the teenage experience, but hasn't it always been changing?

My comment was making fun of the idea only! Really.

;)

Logan
07-22-2003, 05:22 PM
I think we get to know some of the best teenagers, ever!!! :)

CamCamPup33
07-22-2003, 05:31 PM
Originally posted by sasvermont
Teenagers are! I was one! We all are/were. Teenagers are works in progress! How can we ban them from anything? Who would want to? I just find the entire topic rather comical. Teenagers are here to stay, forever! And their rights and allowances are growing and growing, ever expanding.....and there is no point in trying to put out the fire!

I do think that times have changed with how we look at the teenage experience, but hasn't it always been changing?

My comment was making fun of the idea only! Really.

;)


LOL thats what i figured :D

Kfamr
07-22-2003, 05:32 PM
Sas-
I figured you were kidding... well hoping you were atleast.

I don't know what i'd do if I was banned from the internet anyways.

tikeyas_mom
07-23-2003, 09:51 PM
banning teens from chat rooms wont make a difference at all within the actual chat because they will go on anyways no matter what their parents or the site says, they can eaily lie about their age.