View Full Version : I feel confused...Need to vent...

07-17-2003, 01:33 AM
My dad called my mom today to talk to her about money, and I picked up the phone. So naturally, we talked.

I haven't been to my dad's house for a sleepover since last October. I haven't talked to him since January.

When I left, he got a puppy, who I called mine for a while. Some of you might remember me talking about this pup. I also left behind a rat, and he got another after I left. There were also 2 cats. So I really miss the animals, as I've only gotten to see the puppy from being at my dad's neighbor's house, and I haven't even seen the new rat.

But I told myself I wouldn't go back after what he did to Leather. I left her behind for a while too, but when I heard of what was happening, I went over there and snatched her from the yard. He didn't care. Him and his gf were in the window looking at me and talking. They didn't stop me.

Now, after all this time of not even talking to him, God only knows what going on in his house, the only communication going on being between his gf and I emailing, and I have to go shopping with him. After that, I'll probably have to go to his house. Maybe he'll ask me to sleepover. And maybe I will. But is this what I want? I don't even know what I want anymore....

He left me for that long...He has all my stuff...he has all my stepmom's (his ex's) stuff...He illegally drove her car...He gave my room to his gf's kids (Which I don't mind, but it would have been nice to ask...Alot of my stuff is trashed now)...And I'm not hearing good things...Like drug things, and other not-so-good things..

I'm not mad at him, but I was...He's like me in too many ways. I hate that about him. I know why he never called. He put it off, and after a while, he thinks it's too late to call because I'd be mad. So I have no reason to forgive him if i'm not mad at him anymore..Except for what he did to Leather...I'll never forgive him for that..

I don't even know what i'm raving about...I'm just so confused. Should things go back to the way they were before? Or should they be like now -- us not talking. Him in his own world - Me in mine. I don't want to sleepover at his house and leave my rats alone. But I want to get to know the puppy and see the new rat...I'd like to see his gf, and her kids, because they are all very nice. But I don't want to be a burden. He has too many money issues to worry about me...

sorry to vent. I don't know what I'm asking for....I just needed to tell someone...

07-17-2003, 02:10 AM
I don't really know what to say as I have never been in a similar situation.

HOWEVER, I do believe that as HIS daughter you should NOT feel like a burden! He helped to bring you into this world, you should not be a burden in his life!

I think you should just think your situation over and do what feels right to you.

07-17-2003, 07:37 AM
I wish I knew what to tell you, but I think you have to decide for yourself what you want to do.

The one thing I do know is he is you dad and will always & forever be your dad. Like RubyMutt said, you should not feel like a burden since he's the one who helped bring you into this world!

Good luck on whatever you decide.

07-17-2003, 10:11 AM
So many of you are going through so much. It makes me sad for you to even have to worry about things like this. I definitely understand your confusion, too. :( I guess if your dad is willing to make an effort, and you can bring yourself to do the same, some kind of relationship with him would be good. It isn't the traditional father/daughter relationship we all would hope for, but at least maybe you could both work on getting to know each other better and have a fresh start.

I'm going to keep you in my prayers. My hope for you is that it will all work out for the best for you.


07-17-2003, 10:16 AM
sometimes I think kids are more mature than the adults. I'm kind of an outsider-never married; no children;but I hate to see anyone get hurt because they consider themselves first. Guess a lot of people can be selfish.:(

07-17-2003, 03:50 PM
Thanks for your replies. :)

I do feel like a burden....He abandoned me. He kept changing his phone number, and so I would never have it. I called him last. He never called me back.

I'm afraid to ask him if he'll help pay for Leather's medication...I know he doesn't care about her. She misses him so much, every time she sees me she cries and cries because she loves me so much. I can imagine her pee after she sees him. She hasn't seen him for almost seven months. If he doesnt want to see me, I atleast wish he would go see Leather puppy. The only thing I'm afraid of is that if he does, he might take her away. :(

07-17-2003, 04:52 PM
Im sorry...you really shouldn't feel like a burden. My family is a little messed up too, im sure most are. I had a so called "uncle" who pretended to be nice but then turned around and stole my aunts dog. How somebody could sink so low I will never understand. You ask where he is now? I dont really care, he could be dead and I wouldn't shed one tear...Im just concerned about the dog, Rocky....I hope hes okay..wherever he is.....:(

07-17-2003, 05:41 PM
I think you should do what is best for you.
Parents are supposed to be the adults and not the children.
(I had a similiar problem with my dad)
If your dad is making the effort, why not keep the
lines of communcation open. As for asking
you father to help out with the meds.
You have nothing to loose, but everything to gain.
I am sure leather is very
happy with you.

07-17-2003, 08:12 PM
I'm sorry I don't really know you're situation right now but my parents just got divorced and I now live with my dad and two brothers:rolleyes: I'm the only girl in my house, my family can drive me insane sometimes too so I know how you feel

07-17-2003, 09:44 PM
I'm sorry about the family problems. Everyone is right; you shouldn't feel like a burden. My parents had a nasty divorce when I was 15. My dad used to be a real jerk. It's a long story, but in a nutshell, I didn't speak to my dad again until I was 20. Every situation is different, but I can tell you how I felt. Once I reunited with my dad, I realized that we'd both grown up. We'd both changed quite a bit. It was really awkward at first. Here he had this new family that I didn't know, he didn't have a clue who I was. Alot happens during your teen years, so my dad missed so much. I now realize that no one is perfect. Both my dad and I made mistakes in the past. We were to stubborn to reunite for a long time. I regret that. We've been reunited for five years now, and it occasionally gets awkward.

For instance, the other day, I was all happy cause Sean, my first boyfriend and very close friend came home from the war...my dad was like "Who's Sean?" It threw me off and saddened me. Because Sean was a huge part of my life. I actually lived with his family when he went into the service. His parents are in my Will to care for my son. His sister is my son's Godmother. And my dad says "Who is he?" Things like that make me stop and think. I think it is sad that my dad missed so much of my life, that he doesn't know how I came to be me.

I say, do not let to much time pass. It'll just make it harder. Even if your dad is imperfect. By all means, don't accept abuse. But have some type of relationship with him if he isn't abusive.