How do you know when it is time?

[MARichards]

My 15 1/2 year old Cocker Spaniel is starting to have accidents in the house. We take him out often, but when he comes back in, he will go in the house. I might add that he is going deaf and almost blind in one eye. His hind legs seem to be very weak. He also doesn't like to go for walks anymore. There's nothing my vet can do for him, it's just old age.

How do I know when it is time to put him down. What a difficult decision to make. I know that his quality of life isn't great. I just don't know if I can take him in.:(

We rescued him from a bad environment when he was 10 years old. I feel good that I gave him 5 good years. I don't think we are ever ready to say goodbye.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

First of all, Welcome to Pet Talk! Im very sorry about your cocker spaniel....:( I think like many pet talkers here will say...your pet will tell you when its time. It is a very difficult decison to make. You might never be ready to let him go, but he will be at Rainbow Bridge, and no suffering. I had to put my 6 year old Dachshund down, due to a spinal injury...I wasnt ready, but I knew it was time...Im sure the 5 years you had him for were the best years ever, and he thanks you for them. Best of luck to you and your dog.:)

[Logan]

I don't think we are ever ready to say goodbye.

:( You are so right about that. I think you just "know". I had to have my Cocker put to sleep at 12 years old. It ranks as one of the saddest days of my life. She had lost control of her bladder and bowels, and I literally picked her up and carried her outside and back in. It took me too long, probably, to realize that she was miserable. I was selfish in that regard, but finally a friend saw what I was dealing with, and suggested it was time. It opened my eyes to hear him say that, and I did make that difficult decision. But it is different for everyone.

Please know that we will be here for you when you need us. It's a bad way to welcome you to Pet Talk, but you will find friends here, who completely understand what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your special pup. I'm so glad to know that he has had these 5+ years in your happy home with lots of love. 15 years is a long time to live, and it sounds like the last 5 years have been his happiest! :)

[robinh]

I will agree, you just "know" when it's time. Our chesapeake bay retriever, Peach gave us the look that said "I'm tired and ready to go. Thanks, mom and dad for everything." We took her the following day. Absolutely the saddest day, but it was the right thing to do.

I will also attest to what Logan said - the people here at PetTalk are wonderful at helping a person deal with a situation like this because many of them have been there.

How wonderful that you both had five great years together. My prayers are with you and pup at this time.

[tatsxxx11]

Everyone else has expressed my feelings so poignantly. My heart goes out to you. It's been 4 years since I had to make that decision to let my Lab Jingles go, and still it hurts. It is one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make. All I can say is follow your heart; it's hard to explain, but you will know when. When you see your devoted friend is no longer enjoying life, takes no joy in things he used to love, when his discomfort is intolerable, he will let you know. But as sad and painful a day as that will be, take comfort in the knowledge that you gave him 5 wonderful, loving years...the best years of his life; and for that, he will always and forever be grateful. We are all here to support you, so please talk to us as often as you need to.

[MARichards]

I can't thank all of you enough for your caring thoughts. Your words of encouragement and personal experiences have been a tremendous help. I went home for lunch today, and Joker was so happy to see me. At that moment, I felt that it's not time yet, but he could take a turn for the worse anyday. As long is he is eating good and not in any pain, I don't think I'll make any decisions. I will try to make an extra effort to take him outdoors more often and stay with him until he does what needs to be done.

I know Joker is nearing the end and I will not let him suffer. I believe I will know when the time is right.

Thank you all again!!

(I love "Pet of the Day", what a great way to talk to other pet lovers, like myself.)

[Pam]

Welcome to Pet Talk! I agree with what everyone else here has said. I have had to make that decision 3 other times in my life. Each time was just as bad as the time before. I was fortunate, as you are, to not have had to do this until my dogs were in their teens, with my oldest living to be 17. He was also deaf and had extremely dense cataracts and could not go through the night without peeing. It was extremely sad and back then there was no Pet Talk. Please be assured that "when that time comes" we will all be here to help you through. (((hugs)))

[KYS]

Ijust wanted to welcome you to Pet Talk.
I agree with everyones post.
As Pam,Sandra and everyone has said, we are all here to support eachother so please never feel afraid to post your feelings.

Karen

[lizbud]

Just wanted to welcome you here. To say that most all of
us here have had to deal with "knowing" when the time to
say goodbye & let them go has come. Our love for them and
respect for the friendship they've showed us allows us to give
them the final gift of love, a death with dignity. It is hard to
part with a beloved friend, but when it is time, I do believe that
you will know & love Joker enough to give him rest after a job
well done. I wish you all the best. Liz.

[K9karen]

As you can see, I had to make the toughest decsion not so long ago. I had always tried to prepare myself but you never are. I had asked my vet once "How will I know" and he said, that "you will" and "we're here to help you". Cody, thank God, wasn't ill for long, but one morning at 630a, I just knew. I can't even explain it til this day. I always wanted to strangle anyone who said that "You'll know", because when you love your pet so much, you don't want to let go. But I did know. One look at him suffering, I suddenly regained my sanity for an instant and made the decision. I loved him so much that any other decision would have been selfish on my part. I knew too when he stopped eating-his favorite pasttime- and when he looked at me with those big brown gentle, soulful eyes, that we both knew. It was almost like a miracle. I don't regret it at all, but like Sandra and the others said, there's not a second that goes by that I don't miss him so completely that I could burst into tears. How lucky and happy Joker is that you gave him 5 best years. Some poor animals don't even enjoy that. We're all here for you, as said before.. And you will honestly know when the time comes....

[DaisyMcCat]

Joker is very lucky to have someone like you. Not only did you give him a second chance at life (which sadly, not many people are willing to do), but it sounds like you couldn't love him any more than if you had him all 15 years.

I think you just know when it's time, when the bad days outnumber the good. It's the hardest thing in the world to do, but sometimes we need to look beyond our own pain and end that of our beloved pets. I'm sorry you may be facing this.

[mpoier]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and joker and your whole family.

I know this may be one of the toughest decisions you will make. I have never had to do this before, but I know that my day will come when I will "know" - whenever that may be.

Just remember that you were a great parent to Joker. Joker loves you and only YOU know how much because he does it such little ways that make you smile and make your day. Keep in mind that his whole goal is to make you pleased and happy with him as his parent. There even may be times when he foregoes his own happiness to bring you happiness - the wonderful gift of dogs. And, I know you do the same for him! You will know, and make sure you enjoy every day with him, give him lots of love and attention (as you already do!), and your relationship will continue to grow - love is a very healing power - we have no idea.

Welcome, and thank you for making me appreciate my dog and what he has done for me! :)

Michelle

[Fox-Gal]

I just wanted to let you know, how much I understand what your going through. My Canillia has cancer right now. We have to carry her out side for her "nature calls" she only has the use of 3 legs right now and it looks like the other ones going bad now too. So we too are trying to decide when to let her go.

We look at her sometimes and she seems so happy even though she going through this. Other times we wonder if she really is happy. To decide what to do is so hard, we don't want to be with out her, she a great dog. But we asked our selfs everyday, if it was us would we want to live like this. The answer to that will tell us when it's time, if she doesn't first.

Your heart knows.

Good luck to you and be strong.

[Karen]

Rather than repost what others have said, I just wanted to welcome you to Pet Talk, where we do know that every pet is special. The saddest part of loving an animal is having to let him or her go one day, but the joy they give us every moment of our relationships with them outshine and outlast those last painful days, and the joy will live on in your heart for ever, as will Joker.

[lizbud]

I did want to post this link for help & support to anyone who
finds themselves in this same situation. It's someone else's
story .

http://www.petplace.com/articles/artShow.asp?artID=989


There is also a clickable link, When To Consider Euthanasia.

[Uabassoon]

Liz that was a good story, it made me tear up.

[Tonya]

I had to put my childhood dog, Christy down when I was 20. She'd had seizures, lack of bladder control, hip problems for years. She didn't seem to be in pain and seemed like she had the will to live for a a few years. Then one day, she looked me in the eyes. It was like we understood eachother. She was tired and didn't want to get up anymore. We both knew that it was time. It was very difficult, but I think that deep down, you'll know when it is time.

[joycenalex]

in late march 2002, when i moved into my house, i added a second dog to my family. i'd wanted a golden retrievier and the opportunity to adopt a senior had come along.{ his then family has several other dogs and the mother was dealing with the after effects of cancer, with minimal health insurance, they really needed to simplify their lives in planning a move to their home state where the rest of the family was. they did treat duke well, he had regular meals, dog buddies and his own cat to sleep with in the garage at night} i was so happy to have duke join alex and i. alex really didn't care about another dog, he's very much a mommas' boy and once some doggie ground rules were laid down, life settled in. i took duke and his scanty records to my vet 3 days after bringing him into our pack, my vet guessed his age at 9-13, his teeth were ground down, he had arthritis and was hypothyroid. duke moved into the good life....i am more...ahhh...dog obsessed then his last family. he discovered the pleasures of napping with the a.c. blowing on his belly, piles of blankets to paw into sleep shapes, new toys regularly, near daily walks, car rides to the donut shop,with a donut hole every time, brushing with the mom singing just to him. and occasionally sleeping on the bed with the human and other dog. he went for his physical in may (tax refund check came in and it goes to the vet for all the furries). the vet then guessed his age at 13, he'd lost weight with a better diet and thyroid meds, but still in fair health, the arthritis means daily buffered asprin and the walks around the mile long block are a bit slower, and he needs a hand to boost him into the car for the rides.
last monday he didn't jump and bark as i was fixing breakfast, although he ate. monday night, he declined dinner, he did eat when i hand fed him bits of ground chicken. he had the dry heaves and did vomit a few times during the night, so we went to the vet in the am. he was very weak, so i carried him into the vets. he'd lost 5 pounds in a month and is very skinny and frail. the vet gave him a liter of iv fluid, ran labs (normal) and watched him for the day. duke just picked at his food that night, i laid on the floor next to his bed under the table and i asked him if he wanted to leave for the rainbow bridge. he licked my arm, and i knew he wasn't ready to leave just yet. he slowly improved over the last week and my sweet old barky boy is telling me again, i'm not moving fast enough to get his food down, and when is that next walk?
i'd always promised myself and both dogs, that if they didn't want to go for a walk, didn't want food, didn't enjoy life anymore, i'd help them to the bridge. this was the first time i really had to confront dukes' age and health. i was terribly upset, and as i type this i am a bit teary at the idea that duke may not see another spring. i realize that i have a senior dog, and he is likely to pass tot he bridge before i do, and yet i will never be ready for him to leave, but i will respect his needs before my wishes. i will truly miss the sweet white face.