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catland
06-13-2003, 02:20 PM
This is something that was sent to me a while back - it seems like a good "Dog House" item. Enjoy and TGIF :D



1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass . . . Then things get worse.

23. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

24. Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

bluekat
06-13-2003, 06:21 PM
LOL, those are so true! Thanks for sharing!

Crikit
06-13-2003, 06:33 PM
cute it took me a moment or two to realize that they were supposed to be like that though. I'm used to the first one ending with

Just walk beside me and be my friend.

babolaypo65
06-13-2003, 06:46 PM
LOL that made my friday.

this one is my favorite (right this minute).
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

neko1
06-13-2003, 06:59 PM
Hee hee those are great!!:)

lizbud
06-13-2003, 09:20 PM
:D

I liked them all, but especially liked this one......

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

babolaypo65
06-13-2003, 10:28 PM
okay, now THAT one is my new favorite!


Originally posted by lizbud
:D

I liked them all, but especially liked this one......

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

ChrisH
06-14-2003, 11:45 AM
:D :D Very funny!:D thanks for sharing.

lovemyshiba
06-14-2003, 01:30 PM
Thanks for sharing--those made me laugh!!

CattleDogMom
06-15-2003, 12:26 AM
"Always borrow money from a pessimist...then they won't expect it back..."

Crystal

lizbud
06-15-2003, 03:47 PM
Here's one I liked. Probably not Zen like, but true....


Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody. ~Moms Mabley

Cataholic
06-15-2003, 03:59 PM
I was trying to find a favorite..but I just can't choose!!! Those are so darn funny, thanks for a laugh.

iceyshiver21
06-15-2003, 08:11 PM
Hmm.... #8 Sounds REALLY REALLY framiler

I added to my siggy a week ago! lol what a quinkee-dink!

Number 16 is one that Richard might wanna take note of ;) :p :D Lol coundnt help myself

ChloeLove
06-15-2003, 09:59 PM
lol, thanks for sharing! Love this one:

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Chinadoll
06-16-2003, 12:00 PM
LMAO!

My favorite... Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. Don't I know that feeling!

Uabassoon
06-16-2003, 12:29 PM
17. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

This is my favorite. I use duct tape to fix just about everything. It it weren't for that and super glue I'm not sure I could survive.

smokey the elder
06-22-2003, 09:32 AM
Duct tape! What great stuff. When the "gummint" (Pogo-ese) was going on about safe rooms, all the newscasters had so much fun with the Visqueen and duct tape recommendations!