View Full Version : "Old Dog Offers Advice on Training Humans"

11-28-2000, 08:27 AM
There was a little article in The Greenville News this morning that captured my attention. It discusses a new book written by Allen Appel and Mike Rothmiller entitled "Old Dog's Guide for Pups: Advice and Rules for Human Training".
Here is a sample of Old Dog's wisdom, under the heading "Words That Never Mean Fun"
1. Vet
2. Bad Dog
3. Neutering
4. Fixing
5. Shots
6. Drop it!
7. Dog Pound
8. Bath

I can promise you that all of the above would be understood by my two! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif
Thought I'd give you a little Tuesday morning humor to start your day.

karen israel
11-28-2000, 09:14 AM
As I like to say.."OY!" http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif Here I am, for the last few days, happily telling Cody he's gonna have a bath on Monday at the vet!! I'll have angina by Monday afternoon!

11-28-2000, 09:27 AM
As long as you're not telling Cody, "Cody, since you've been a bad dog, I'm going to take you to the vet for shots, neutering, fixing, and while they're at it, I'm gonna have them give you a bath. If you don't drop it, I'm gonna leave you at the dog pound!" That would surely cause HIM a heart attack! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif

11-28-2000, 09:40 AM
You are too funny! HA HA!!!
http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif

karen israel
11-28-2000, 10:21 AM
TOUCHE!! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif HILARIOUS!!!!! Clever! Clever!! Thanks for a good jolly laugh!!! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif

11-28-2000, 11:51 AM

Oh my gosh was that funny! Boy, those words would sure make a dog have an anxiety attack!

11-28-2000, 11:55 AM
You've made my day!!!! That is just way too funny! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif!!

***Save a life, ADOPT***

11-28-2000, 03:02 PM
Teena, I'm going to just PEEEE IN MY PANTS!!!! hah, hah, hah, hah HAH!!!!!!!!! No, really, that is the funniest post since fritos. I have to print this one.

[This message has been edited by tatsxxx11 (edited November 28, 2000).]

11-28-2000, 05:05 PM
http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif!!

11-28-2000, 07:14 PM

11-29-2000, 11:12 PM
That's really funny. But, do you ever wonder what they do think of us and how to "train" the humans to cough up goodies?

11-30-2000, 08:06 AM
I think it's all in the eyes. My two have me wrapped around their paws with just one "please, oh please! We're gonna starve if we don't have a treat! look."

11-30-2000, 10:09 PM
Teena: Yup, I have one like that. She acts like getting goodies or a bite of people food is the last hope for survival. She eats well twice a day and still wants us to believe she desperately needs another bite of SOMETHING, ANYTHING. They are just so funny that way.

12-01-2000, 08:41 AM
I grew up with an English Bulldog, Ben. (by the way, I am a real sucker for English Bulldogs, just can't afford one! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/eek.gif ) He would sit beside your leg, never jump up, never whine or fuss; just sit there and follow your fork with his eyes and the drool would just be literally pouring out of both sides of his mouth! We were constantly having to wipe his mouth off! It was hilarious. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by lhg0962 (edited December 01, 2000).]

12-01-2000, 08:45 PM
lhg0962, have you ever tried to contact a Bulldog rescue group? You could contact the AKC who would put you in touch with breeders in the area who might know. 'course you could just go to the AKC website (www.AKC.org) and see if you can find breeders in there. You might not have to pay a lot for a rescue dog or you could just "foster" one or two for the group. That part would be with the understanding that the dog would only stay until they could find it a home, but it's an inexpensive way to have the breed you love. On a less than happy note, there was an English Bulldog in the Nashville, TN area that was recently shot by the sheriff because the neighbor woman complained the dog was vicious. The sheriff came right onto the man's property, told the people to go inside, and shot the dog in his own yard. It's causing quite a stir here because the area the dog was in has no Animal Control orginazation and it didn't even go to the courts about how to handle it. Really sad.

12-01-2000, 09:43 PM
That is awful about the bulldog in Nashville! I'm sure dogs are shot in the country around here, but we never hear about it. That is a horrible story, and I simply can't believe such things happen in this day and age. I do remember that Ben (our English Bulldog) was very protective and actually bit a neighborhood boy one time when he got out of the fence. He was addicted to balls of any kind, soccer, basketball, etc. and he went for that boy's basketball and that was it!
As much as I love bulldogs (all dogs), I'm at my limit right now from a space and an expense standpoint. I have to travel out of town periodically and boarding my babies at a kennel I trust is very expensive. Two big dogs, a cat, two hamsters,etc., plus my 9 year old daughter, my job, responsibility for this house, etc. are forcing me to be prudent and not bring in every stray I can. I probably shouldn't have even gotten Lilly when I did, but she was born the day after I had to put my Cocker Spaniel to sleep and it just seemed right. And, we do love her, as does Honey. They are two peas in a pod and love each other dearly.
I'm going to remember about the rescue organizations though. That is a good idea. Do all of you see many English Bulldogs? I run in to very few. Fell in love with one at a Petland Store (I know that is a bad word to most of you http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/eek.gif because of the puppy mills)last year outside of Cincinatti and came very close to bringing him home. In my business, which is making small business loans, I often have to deal with owners whose line of business is something that I don't condone and I was attempting to finance 4 stores for this couple, who I happened to really like.
I'll shut up now, but thanks for listening!

[This message has been edited by lhg0962 (edited December 01, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by lhg0962 (edited December 01, 2000).]

12-02-2000, 09:09 PM
Some may be shot, but most are simply dumped and left to fend for themselves. I know what you mean about finding a kennel you can trust. Most are the next best thing to hideous re: facilities and numbers and for the prices they charge, you'd think they'd do better, but the love of that almighty dollar...... Well, the rescue groups were just a thought. Maybe a lot of years from now when the ladies run on to the Rainbow Bridge. Pet shops charge waaaay too much for an animal that is probably considered "pet quality" at best. I knew of one that charged outlandish prices and then tacked on a dietary supplement or they wouldn't guarantee the animals at all. Greedy bas*****.
Where do you "board" a 9-year-old daughter?

[This message has been edited by ktreva52 (edited December 02, 2000).]

12-02-2000, 09:13 PM
You know, Ktreva, right after I said that, I wondered who was going to ask about boarding my 9 year old? NEVER!!! She goes where I go when she isn't with her dad. She's with him right now for the evening and is so mad that it is supposed to snow here tonight and not where she is! I must brag....my daughter had her first basketball game today and although her team lost in overtime, she scored all the points they got! She is the tallest one and they all just threw the ball to her (when they didn't throw it away).

12-04-2000, 04:07 PM

Great for your daughter, you have every right to brag! (And you know we'll listen, LOL).
Is there any possibility of a house sitter type person where you're at? One that you could trust with your pets, house etc.? Some retired people sometimes do this. It allows them to be near pets, but not have the responsibility of looking after their own pets all the time. Just a thought.

12-04-2000, 06:08 PM
Of course I had to ask it, I was in such a mood when I wrote that -- I never believed for a moment that you actually "boarded" her. Congratulations on her ball work. Is she considering eventually going into the WNBA? I think that's such a cool thing they've finally done for women.

That idea of a house-sitter is not a bad one. You'd want to interview anyone as deeply as you would a babysitter for your daughter, but there are many services that do that sort of thing. Ask too if they are bonded and insured and request a copy of the paperwork showing that, so you can check on it. Also, request references and check them out. Could be less expensive in the long run and the animals are home and fairly happy (I'm sure they're never really happy when Mom and Sister are away).

12-04-2000, 08:32 PM
I had a lady at one time that would come and see the animals as many times a day as I wanted her to. She was so good and I trusted her. Never could work it for her to stay, but she would come twice a day, walk them, brush them, etc. Now she has a weekend job and isn't available when I need her. Plus, I hate having Lilly and Honey outside all day long. Honey is quite a barker and I feel better knowing she isn't upsetting anyone or herself. I think your idea is a good one. Just need to find the right person. In the meantime, other than the cost, they usually are fine at the kennel. They get lots of attention, go for walks, get a bath, etc. Honey doesn't like to go (she's too smart for her own good), but is usually fine once she gets there. Some good news is that I have my mother's permission to bring them to her house for Christmas. We'll only be there two nights and since its wintertime, they can't destroy her yard!! She'll have her new puppy, Mr. Darcy, by then (he's a Boston Terrier), but I think she understands I don't want to leave them all the time. Hopefully, they will past her test! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif

12-07-2000, 12:11 AM
Well, this ought to be interesting -- these two giants invading that little guy's new territory. I can just see it. They'll either eat him or he'll convince them that he's perfectly willing to eat them (at first). Good luck on passing the "test". It's always difficult to believe that not everyone would love our wonderful companions and immediately see their good qualities. Frankly, (and this is not aimed at your daughter, Logan) I'd almost rather have pets visit than some children I've known. Much easier to control. Hope I don't offend anyone with that comment.

karen israel
12-07-2000, 06:59 AM
Logan... No mom can resist those girls of yours! (esp; Helen! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif LOL!) Xmas at the house will be joyous and loud and FUN! I'm SO JEALOUS! That's what it's all about! Maybe I should take the next flight out?! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif

12-07-2000, 08:02 AM
Come on down and bring Cody! Wouldn't that be a hoot? 4 big yellow dogs running through my mother's beautiful yard! I'm sure the new baby will be well protected by his new mom! What does that make him, my brother? http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif

12-07-2000, 10:04 PM
That's how we call it at my house -- my dogs (and cats) are the four-legged siblings to my two-legged children. Their pets are my grandpets. They are part of the family and need us much more than the two-legged kind after a time. On the other hand, they don't bring much in the way of income into the house. Hmmmmm, anyone know a good agent?

[This message has been edited by ktreva52 (edited December 09, 2000).]