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Tanya&Fritz
04-01-2003, 08:10 AM
What is the Iraqi air force motto? - I came, I saw, Iran.

Have you heard about the new Iraqi air force exercise program? Each morning you raise your hands above your head, and leave them there.

What's the five-day forecast for Baghdad? - Two days.

What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? They both have Kurds in their way.

What is the best Iraqi job? - Foreign ambassador.

Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? -
You only have to teach them to take off.

How do you play Iraqi bingo? B-52 ... F-16 ... P-3

What is Iraq's national bird? - Duck.

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottom boats? - So they can see their air force!

RICHARD
04-01-2003, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by Tanya&Fritz

How do you play Iraqi bingo? B-52 ... F-16 ... P-3




come on, get your own material.......;) and by the way....
i'm gonna buy some of that canadian beer this weekend and see
if it compares to our water.......


job opening

it was reported yesterday that saddam had 'fired' his marshall of air forces.

the marshall told saddam that he was trying to get inside the
minds of his counterparts in the coalition, so he challenged them
to a game of bingo over the internet.

the marshall reportedly told saddam that the generals on the other side were not playing fairly....


when saddam inquired as to what their tactics were the marshall replied,

'the first numbers such as B1 and B2 were on my card, but i could not find B52, F14, F15, A10, F16.............'

Tanya&Fritz
04-01-2003, 12:19 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by RICHARD
[B]and by the way.... i'm gonna buy some of that canadian beer this weekend and see if it compares to our water.......

You're a brave man, Richard :D

I know people from New York and Michigan can handle our beer, but California??? ;) Don't you guys prefer granola bars and cappuccino?:D :D :D

RICHARD
04-01-2003, 12:31 PM
Originally posted by Tanya&Fritz
[QUOTE]Originally posted by RICHARD
[B]

You're a brave man, Richard :D

I know people from New York and Michigan can handle our beer, but California??? ;) Don't you guys prefer granola bars and cappuccino?:D :D :D

GRANOLA AND WHAT????

isn't that a monkey???? capuchin?????

actually in my area we don't bother with hops and yeast...
we drink tequila, smoke unfiltered cigarettes, swim in the ocean,
breath L.A. air, drive the freeways and eat sushi.......lol...


did i mention paying 2.49 for a gallon of gas?

mugsy
04-01-2003, 03:04 PM
YOU really are a brave man Richard....are you sure you don't want to move to the Midwest where life is simpler! lol

RICHARD
04-01-2003, 03:06 PM
Originally posted by mugsy
YOU really are a brave man Richard....are you sure you don't want to move to the Midwest where life is simpler! lol


you guys got a beach????:rolleyes:

Cincy'sMom
04-01-2003, 05:11 PM
Originally posted by RICHARD
you guys got a beach????:rolleyes:


Sure...water's cold as heck most ofthe year and you may run into some Zebra mussels here and there, but if beaches you want, beaches we got :)

RICHARD
04-01-2003, 05:27 PM
Originally posted by Cincy'sMom
Sure...water's cold as heck most ofthe year and you may run into some Zebra mussels here and there, but if beaches you want, beaches we got :)


why am i complaining???

you all are nice enough to invite me into your state......;)

mugsy
04-01-2003, 06:08 PM
Now, what damage are you going to do when you get here?? hehehe

RICHARD
04-02-2003, 12:52 PM
GW Bush is in contract negotiation with a major movie studio
to revive the "On the Road" series of motion pictures made famous by Bob Hope and Bing Crosby.

The new OTR offering will be titled, 'On the Road to Baghdad'.

Bush is slated to star in one of the lead roles, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeldt have been tapped to be cast in the remaining slot.

Bush acknowledged some contact with the studio.

"Geez, a year ago people were screaming that I stole the election and were bad mouthing my foreign policies-well, I have my finger on the button and you all better behave yourselves!"

Cheney and Rumsfeldt were more open about the possibility of
their being cast in the production.

Rumsfeldt was more open, "I kick butt now, just think, I'll be a star!"

Cheney was just as optimistic. "I can work it in to my schedule".

There was also talk of Tony Blair taking on a special guest appearance. "I'll have to talk to Cherie about this!!!!!" was his only comment.

The British and United States military will play a key role in the production.

"HOORAH" was the only comment provided by the Joint Chiefs of Staff. The Brits were reserved with their involvement, "Advance Brittania!!!!" was their answer

The military has begun filming the ending of the first OTR offering
in Iraq as negotiations move forward.

Because of talk that Bush is trying to 'take over the world' by critics of his presidency he stated he feels the need to go forward with the talks.

"I only have 4 years to do this, the people will elect me to another 4, I mean, look how fast we kicked Osama's rear.
We'll have Saddam reeled in soon.......How many countries are there?????"

OTR is scheduled for a Fall 2003 release.

iceyshiver21
04-06-2003, 10:48 AM
Originally posted by RICHARD
why am i complaining???

you all are nice enough to invite me into your state......;)

Record Breaking PT News

This is what you've all fear the newest movie release- RICHARD GOES MIDWESTERN! ***dun dun dunnnnn*** Its a story about this 3ft, 95 year old guy, with a orange streaked dread locks, and matching bunny slippers. Who moves to the Midwest to find out that it does indeed have beaches, which are freezing all days in the year with the exception of 4 days. While he is here a strange but hilarious chain of event happen.

"I tell you all this is better than a large brown box and a bag of chips!" Excitedly explains Marco Polo.

George Washington gave it two thumbs up claiming "I'd cross the Delaware many times to see this movie!"

mugsy
04-06-2003, 11:37 AM
icey, you're too funny!! Are you taking Richard lessons??

Jessica12345
04-06-2003, 12:31 PM
lol:D

iceyshiver21
04-06-2003, 01:01 PM
Originally posted by mugsy
icey, you're too funny!! Are you taking Richard lessons??

HAHA his humor is spreading...AHH beware for you will have it next.

Cincy'sMom
04-06-2003, 05:12 PM
Great review Icey...makes me want to see the movie!!!

iwuvsmypuppy
04-06-2003, 09:57 PM
lol those are cute:D :p

RICHARD
04-14-2003, 03:05 PM
my mom claims she saw winona ryder among the looters
in baghdad, can anyone verify this?

iceyshiver21
04-14-2003, 04:34 PM
Yes, I too saw winona ryder in baghdad....She was one of those you took everything including the gold plated sink..