The final report on Graemer's death...

[sasvermont]

This is an update on the Graemer (and Gabe) deaths.

Dr. Howard, the specialist, called a few moments ago. The lab reports for Graemer were just as inconclusive as before. One nasty bacteria kept taking over the cultures and they were unable to determine what kind of Actinomyces Graemer had. They ruled out Nocardia but not Actinomyces. Dr. Howard said he thought Gabe (cat #1 to die), the cat that was outside much more often than Graemer (cat #2 to die) had come across the bacteria from the soil outside, inhaled it, shared the infection with Graemer and both had little to no chance to survive it. He said it would have to be shared when they exchanged or swapping salvia, and of course, they were in love with each other and grooming each other and playing for hours on end. Miley was always the "lone ranger" and stayed away from them as much as possible. She was a smart cookie.

The incubation period can be days to months. There is no specific season for the bacteria to appear - it can be found in most soils. It must have been that both cats had compromised immune systems.

You know, I did have lots of yard work done this past summer, unearthing lots of soil and soil that had been sitting for years - years of run off from barnyards and fields with cows, horses, llamas, sheep - you name it, it was walking over the fields….. Do I feel responsible? What can I say? Gosh, I let Gabe outside maybe once or twice a week during the summer, never by himself and always within shouting distance….and then not after the first snow fall (actually, Gabe would not put his foot outside once it got cold!)….and Graemer was outside maybe, a total of 10 or 15 times his entire life. There are cats living around here, outside each day and have been walking on that same soil - and they are fine!

I will set this whole event free now. No one will really know why or how this came about. Just bad luck I suppose.

Dr. Howard suggested that I get on with life, keep an eye on Miley but not treat her for something she probably doesn't have. She has been tested with blood work and x-ray and is not infected right now. I don't feel ill and don't think I have it either. He wished me luck and said he was sorry he could not give me better answers.

So, as I thought, the boys were friends through thick and thin and died that way. What can do now except get on with it! Graemer and Gabe will live forever in my heart.

No more outside for my kitties!

Love,
SAS and her Miley girl

[slick]

Thanks for the update. Everytime I think of them I cry. You did the best you could. Who knows, maybe some kitties are more prone to catch infections and with Gabe and Graemer being so close it would make sense that one would infect the other. Maybe it had nothing to do with the yard work. Sometimes, you just have to accept the loss and move one, as hard as that is! Gabe and Graemer are smiling down at you and will wait for you at the RB. I know that you are hurting and even though we never met, we are hurting too, for you. I pray that the memories you have will bring you comfort!

[batgirl1980]

Hi there.
I'm sorry the vet couldn't give you better answers. I know the more answers we have, sometimes the easier it is, the less likely we are to blame ourselves.

Whatever you do, don't blame yourself, you were a good meowmie to them, and made sure they were happy kitties while they were here. And just know that they are looking down smiling on you and probably will drop in for a visit now and then to remind you they are always close by.

[moosmom]

SAS,

I'm sorry you couldn't get a more definite answer from the vet. But as with all outdoor kitties, they have a certain exposure to the "elements", whatever they may be. You should NOT blame yourself. There are alot of chemicals outside. People have their lawns sprayed with insecticides. Those become airborne and can infect the lungs of not only animals, but humans too. Look at all the people that become sick. I believe it has alot to do with the environment. It sucks.

You have my sincere condolences on the loss of Graemer and Gabe. I hope Miley is okay. Hang in there.

[Vermontcat]

Hi Sas,
I'm glad that you finally got the report even though it wasn't the best of news.
As I was reading it I was thinking that Miley and any future cat(s) would have to be indoor kitties to stay safe.
You do have a screened in porch and lots of windows to sit in so hopefully Miley will be happy with that. You stay healthy too for Miley ok.:)

[Pam]

Originally posted by sasvermont
So, as I thought, the boys were friends through thick and thin and died that way.

Gosh this line really got to me. :(

You have certainly tried your best to uncover the mystery but it looks like we'll never really know for sure. I am so glad that the vet feels that Miley is in no danger nor you for that matter! I know that hearing from the vet tonight probably re-opened up the wound from any healing that may have started to take place on your part. This whole situation just has to be one of the saddest I have ever heard. {{{Hugs to you and Miley Girl}}}

[Karen]

It's good to have some kind of answer, and at least now you and Miley can rest secure, and know that any new kitties will be inside only babies.

You will see them again at the Rainbow Bridge, because they knew that you loved them so very much. One final consoling hug to you,

Karen

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry that you still don't have an answer for Gabe's or Graemer's death. :( I can relate since my Pepper's illness is still also a mystery. I'm so glad to hear that Miley will be okay. At least now you know to keep your future cats indoors only. Please take care. {{{HUGS}}}

[Nomilynn]

I'm so sorry about the whole ordeal. You are much stronger than I.. I'm angry and frustrated FOR you.. I can't imagine if it were my babies.

You are always in my prayers,
Naomi

[L. Wayne]

Sally, even though it has been a short time since you lost Gabe and Graymer, let the healing continue. May I suggest that you get 2 furkids to "take their place" (I know that no furkid on earth can take the place of two lost family members).

Remembering when I lost so many of mine to FeLV, especially Pepper, emotionally I was devastated, and then to lose many more especially kittens immediately after loosing Pepper. Yet, today, after rescuing Puma, Chris, and Happy cat, and now that I have adopted a stray long fur black kitty whom I have named Mopsy, my losses have become emotionally minimal. You are a good meowmy, and don't blame youself for their tentative sickness. Believe me it could have happened to anyone of us who may have had Graymer and Gabe for pets. Although, I will take the hint an not allow my furkids outside any more than is necessary.

..........wayne

[neko1]

I am truely sorry that the vet could not give you any more definate answers. I'm sending tons of (((hugs))) your way. Take care of yourself and Miley girl and may Graemer and Gabe rest in peace.

[jenluckenbach]

I, too, must agree with Wayne. Even though I know that each person is different, during my times of great sorrows, over the loss of a kitty, the one thing that helped me ease the pain, was taking in a new kitty. Knowing that I saved a life, even if it was from a no-kill shelter, I saved it from a life of loneliness, and having a new little one to love and cherish, made the pain seem mininal. (Of course, I think after my last loss I went over-board a little. hee hee. But that's another story)
Peace to you and to Miley

[sasvermont]

I just want to say that the contact with the outside soil is just a guess and it does not mean that every animal that goes outside is going to get it ()....it just means that there will or can be exposure to bacteria if they go out. There is bacteria everywhere....in our mouths, colon etc. etc. and in the soil outside. So for those folks who let their cats go outside, please do not panic. The key to this story is that both cats did not have the ability to fight off the take over that took place in their bodies. I know that Gabe was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, but he too had lungs and a chest filled with fluid. Since he was the first to go to RB, the vet didn't think much about the fluid, since Gabe's heart was huge....thus the fluid backup. Then once Graemer had the same symptoms withought the enlarged heart, Vet #2 really thought they were related illness...but we will never know.

So don't panic. Keep your life with your furry friends just as it is....I am trying not to panic too. It was the luck of the draw sorta speak. Or the unluck, I should say.

I am planing on a kitten in June. Another male Aby. I may, just may find Miley a little playmate before that. We shall see.

Wayne, thanks for your encouragement. I know you must have been devasted as well.

Thanks everyone. I hope this is my last comment about Gabe and Grammy Crackers - in a bummer way....and that they will become part of my life in a much different way. I can put them to rest now.

Love,
SAS

[lailamara]

This whole episode is so tinged with sadness and always will be. But with time the happy memories will be what you remember. The lack of certainty is a bit stressful but.... the bacteria if from the soil could have just as easily been tracked indoors....so many other possibilities..maybe windborn...all that matters now is that you and Miley are healthy. As you said the book is closed. I looked at the aby thread in Breeds yesterday and the pictures made me smile...I followed your Mango website link and had a chuckle.Think back at all the fun and mayhem Graemer and Gabe caused. Laughter is the best medecine.

[Cataholic]

SAS,
My heart breaks for you, Gabe and Grammy Crackers. I wish I could do something, but, ..... please know how much Gabe and Grammy were loved by you, and by us, and how much this has meant to PT community. I am so sorry for your great loss. I pray that time will heal the pain, and let the wonderful memories comfort you.
{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Johanna

[rosethecopycat]

May your heart begin to heal.

[marysmerrycats]

Sas
you had a terrible tragedy happen, x2! you are not to blame! it could have happend to anyone. I used to let my Muffin outside, with me of course since it is dangerous here(coyotes) on a leash and only for a few minutes at daytime.
I feel so sad for you you, for your losses. but you can't blame yourself, who would have known that would happen?
but like you said it is done, what can you do now. just remember them with all the fond memories and know they are together at the RB.
cuddle with Miley, that might help some.

[BastetsMum]

I am so sorry to hear that there are no answers for you Sas... I was told that aby's have weaker immune systems than other cats... I don't know why. May they always be in your heart. I am glad you are getting another kitty though.

Thanks for this update Sas !!
It is sad not really knowing what caused the death of your sweeties ... . In fact , I am not sure about my Sydney too : I know he had cardiomyopathy too , but I am not 100 % sure if this is what caused his sudden death ... .
But , I chose not to let him examine after his death ; it wouldn't bring him back ..:(

I hope you can start going on with your life now . It won't be easy , but with the help of Miley and of course all Pettalkers , you will manage !! I know how much everybody helped me to cope with the loss of Sydney . It still hurts thinking of him , but my two new cats do everything they can to keep mommy busy !!:)
A new kitten , is the best way to do !! I KNOW !!!

http://www.crittercountry.org/vbforums/attachment.php?s=&postid=14109

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Thanks for the update Sallyann. It is so totally not your fault. Gabe and Graemer obviously loved it outside, and you were just trying to make them happy. How were you to know something like this would happen.

I hope your healing continues, and we'll be looking forward to news of a new little friend for Miley girl. I, too, think this will help your heart heal much faster.

Gabe, Graemer, you have one more job to do. You need to guide your mommy into finding a new friend for Miley. Please help her to know when the time is right, and send her a real sweety. :)

[Edwina's Secretary]

A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what a ship is for....

I feel such pain for you in both your loss and your search for an answer to that loss. There is no way to make our lives or the lives of our pets totally without risk. Nor do I believe such a life would be worth living. You took such great effort for their quality of life -- the raw diet, etc!

The times they felt the wind ruffle their fur, smelled the grass and the trees and the birds and the mice -- only enhanced their lives.

It was fate....very, very very sad fate.

[Barbara]

Tigris and Filou have been envying Gabe and Graemer for the opportunity to smell the green grass, to walk and to hide outside. All over the world much more cats live outside than inside and 99 percent of them do not lose their lives due to soil bacteria.
So this one of these horrible accidents -you couldn't have changed anything. You were the best human mom they could have and you will continue to be Miley's beloved meowmie and who knows maybe one day of another furkid too.

I always said to Siegmar, if the buddhist believe should come true I would like to be re-born as his cat. Since I am at PT I know a lot of people whose cat I'd like to be too and you are on top of the list;)

[NoahsMommy]

SAS,

I'm glad you were able to find out what happened and what it was that took your sweeties to RB.

I'm also glad you are planning on a new friend for Miley girl, I think you both will benefit greatly.

Take care,
Kelly :)

[lynnestankard]

I'm still heart sore for you Sally. I'm sorry the result wasn't more definate.

Their lives may have been short but they had good and happy.

You and sweet Miley take good care of each other - you both miss those sweet angels.

Way up in the sky there are two very special stars twinkling at us.
RIP Gabe and Graemer.

Lynne