Had to put my "baby" to sleep last night

[Jo-Anne W]

Hi everyone. I was on the site before under the name Jo W.

Sadly, last night, had to rush my 23 year old "baby" brown tabby cat Roxanne to emergency vet services and they had to put her to sleep.

Up until yesterday, she was happy & healthy, acting like a kitten, running up & down apartment hallway, jumping on & off couch/chairs/table/kitchen counter, great appetite, playing with toys, etc.

She vomited numerous times but I thought she was going to be OK. Things took a turn from bad to worse, she tried to stand up and walk, fell over, started convulsing and her eyes were glazing over. I freaked out, pretty much thinking that I was watching my cat dying right in front of my eyes! :(

The vet said her vital signs weren't good.

Anyhow, I've pretty much been crying on & off since last night then feeling total disbelief/numb/shock. It was VERY difficult coming home and seeing her food & water dish, her litter boxes, toys, etc. It was also really difficult as her dinner time approached.

Out of exhaustion, actually fell asleep last night for about 2 hours. Woke up at 2:30am and can't get back to sleep. I found myself going to check her favourite spot (chair with blanket in livingroom) and saw that she wasn't there - then looked around the apartment, noticing that she's not there. An odd feeling. The apartment seems so empty and quiet without her. My common-law partner Mark and I are both so sad. :(

I still can't believe she's gone and everything that happened last night. A lot more stuff I'd like to say but just too tired and sad at the moment. :(

[Karen]

Awww, our condolences. Rest in peace, Roxanne, the pain is over. You had a good long run with your mom, now send her some purrs in her dreams to let her know you're okay and waiting at the Rainbow Bridge meadow for her.

[Freedom]

You have lost a family member. You will experience the grieving process; this is to be expected.

Roxanne went quickly. For her, this was a blessing. For those she leaves behind, it is such a shock, you can hardly wrap your head around the fact that she is gone. You had no warning, no time to adapt to the change in your life.

Each person grieves differently. For some, looking at photos of happy times, remembering when she did this or that, helps. For others, they can't think of the lost loved one at all for a few days, a week. As the grief progresses, what you couldn't do may next become imperative - you couldn't look at old photos for a week, suddenly you can do nothing else. I hope this helps you a little bit, as this difficult time.

I am so sorry for your loss. Dear Roxanne is now at Rainbow Bridge, and free of what ailed her at the end. RIP sweet kitty.

[issop]

you have blessings roxanne and now your with all other kitties that went before you.. .. i had a cat called cyrus for a few months a very old cat and suddenly he got weak and lay in the cat carrier i cried and took him to the vet where they gave hime a shot to make him comfortable before putting him to sllep has was a tabby siamese and followed me everywhere even to the store . he followed me back home and would sit in the windwo of a house across the street.. this was about 11 years ago he just suddenly walked and staggered about and theni picked him up and broguht him in.. i called the vet to make arrangments for cyrus. he was older then i thought.. he passed away peacfully. like your roxanne went peacfully.. it is sad when we lose a loved one of the anmila family and while there here on earth they are the worlds greatest pet.... may God take tacre of you through your losse of roxanne and keep you safe and heal inside.. this world is temporary and when we go home we are reunited whith everyone we knoew and didnt know.. rest in peace and know roxanne is safe and well at the bridge.. please get another kitty. it help the loss and you get another pet and they love you.. (happy mothers day) 20120512.0748

[phesina]

I am so very sorry. Rest in peace, Roxanne; what a wonderful long life you shared with your beloved Jo-Anne! Now you are whole and healthy again at the Rainbow Bridge, waiting to greet her and welcome her home, One Fine Day..

Deepest sympathy to you, Jo-Anne, and all who love Roxanne so very much.

:love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love:

[Taz_Zoee]

I am so sorry. Roxanne had a lovely long life with you. May you take peace in her memory and knowing she is now pain free.

RIP Roxanne

[Catty1]

Play happy at the Bridge, sweet beloved Roxanne.

Jo, I so feel for you. So many of us have been there - this is a horrible shock. 23 years is long, but never long enough for we humans as we love our furbabies so so much.

Just do what you have to do...don't hurry to put her things away, or 'should' yourself into thinking you should feel better. Take your own time. May you and Mark find comfort in each other.:love::love::love:

[moosmom]

Wow!! I'm so sorry to hear about Roxanne. I didn't realize she was 23!!

RIP sweet Roxanne. You had a wonderful life to the very end. Play hard at the Bridge.

[Felicia's Mom]

I am sorry to hear this. She will be waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge.:love:

[Shady]

I dont know which is worse..having the knowledge that they are failing and you have to make that terrible decision, or something takes them suddenly..I have done both in the last six months with three of my babies..just know that you gave her the best life you could..all the love you could and she had the trust in you to do the best thing for her..and that's what you did..it's hard, but we have to think of them over our own connections and emotions at such a sad time.

My condolences, talk about it, write about it, you need to get it out, and all this helps with the grieving process.

Take care.

[Randi]

My heartfelt condolances for your loss of Roxanne. :( It's hard to lose a loved one so sudden, but it was the best for Roxanne. I hope your memories of a long happy life together will comfort you in this sad time.

Rest in peace, Roxanne. :love:

(((hugs)))

[Cataholic]

Sleep softly, sweet Roxanne. You had a wonderful long life, that I am sure created many memories with your human. I hope she will enjoy them, in time.

[Jo-Anne W]

Hi everyone. Thank You all so much! I truly appreciate all your condolences and kind thoughts.

This has been a really tough day. :( My mom visited from 11:30am - 5:00pm and just listened, let me talk and cry.

This was the first time I've ever experienced having to euthanize a pet - it was very quick and painless for Roxanne. Today, I was going through a lot of Denial, Guilt and Anger. The whole grieving process really sucks. :(

I had a very difficult time with 7:30am which was her breakfast time.

Apparently in 6-8 weeks, I will be receiving a painted paw print with some of Roxanne's fur and her name on it. Not sure how I'll be feeling upon receiving this but at the moment, just taking life one day at a time and working through all the thoughts, feelings and memories!

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry for your loss.:( She had a wonderful long life with you and she knew you loved her very much. Now she's pain free and up at Rainbow Bridge where you'll meet again some day. I know it's too soon but maybe in time you'll be able to open up your heart to love another cat. RIP sweet Roxanne.:( Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[catmandu]

It is always a shock when one of our Cat Companions becomes an Angel.
Roxanne certainly had a good long life at 23 years and she will be invaluable invaluable as an Awesome Angel, helping the Baby Eternal Angels.
Roxanne has her wings of Silver and Gold now and is watching over her home and will fly in once in a while to make sure things are all right.
She will find a place where you will be together and share Paradise.
One Fine Day:love:

[Jo-Anne W]

Hi everyone. It means a lot to me, reading everyone's messages. It's helping me through this grief.

Saturday night, all Sunday and early this morning, I was in a major state of Denial and wouldn't accept that Roxanne had shut down due to "age". I was determined that it must have been from perhaps the apartment was too warm or she ate something bad, etc.

Then, this morning happened ... I forced myself out the door to go to the laundry room. The cleaning lady was there and I saw that she was really upset about something. We got talking and I found out that her 15 year old dog was put to sleep on Friday night. We got talking about how things were on the final day and especially in the final 5-10 minutes at home and her dog went through exactly the same symptoms and behaviour as Roxanne, due to "age". I finally felt something change within me this morning, some sort of acceptance as to it actually was due to "age" for Roxanne.

My mom came over to visit from 11:30am - 5:00pm and got me out of the apartment for a nature walk at nearby park. I didn't feel like going out the door and didn't know how I was going to feel seeing people with their dogs but it did me a lot of good actually! Petting the dogs and getting "kisses" felt really great.

Today didn't start off very well and I had a major crying outbreak for about 2 hours from 9-11am, the type of bawling where you're gasping and having trouble breathing. It's been another day of on & off crying. I can't bring myself to throw out any of Roxanne's toys or even her food and can tell that I'm not ready yet. I'm actually hoping to donate some eventually to a local cat rescue. I also have cat litter for them.

Tomorrow morning, I have to go grocery shopping and will have to avoid the cat food & litter aisle completely! Can't even look at these things here at home at the moment.

Thank You everyone for listening/reading.

[renopithicus]

I'm very sorry to hear about Roxanne. It's okay to let yourself grieve for her. You loved her, after all, and I'm sure she loved you like crazy. What a wonderful thing it is that the two of you found each other. My prayers will be with both of you...