Am I over reacting? [Archive]

Sowa

11-13-2011, 09:53 PM

What would you all think in this situation? I know I'm probably over thinking this and it shouldn't bother me, but it does.

My boyfriends friend HATES cats. That's fine. I had 2, only one now. I love my cat, and all cats. I don't expect everyone to. My problem is that he actually says "ew!" when the cat walks past him. Tonight the cat walks past his computer and he's like, urg, great the cat touched my computer now I need a new one.

Maybe it's just that I don't like the guy, but I'm SO sick of hearing about it. I would never tell someone else if I didn't like their pet for whatever reason. I know they love the animal. For example, I'm terrified of spiders. I'm not going to be like ew! spiders! why do you have a spider?

He's not even afraid of cats, he just doesn't like them. He makes this very clear everytime one just enters the room.

When I still had Kiba I used to have to keep them locked out of the room when he was over. And Kiba always wanted to be with me, she was my baby. She'd cry outside the room all night. So I basically said he'd need to suck it up or not come over...I know that's mean. It's my place, shouldn't my animals be free to go where they like? He is over a lot. It was probably worse with Kiba. As in, it upset me more. After my dog passed away I really went to Kiba a lot for comfort. She was the reason I could get over Josie. And he's sit there and talk about how gross she was? It made me sick. I don't see how that precious kitten could in anyway, be gross.

In fact, my boyfriend hated cats too when we first met. But Kiba grew on him a lot, and now he likes cats. Kiba was just that kind of cat.

Anyway. I needed to vent. Sorry for over reacting, and talking so much about pointless stuff. I know it's his right to think whatever he wants. I just wish he'd keep it to himself.

Karen

11-13-2011, 10:15 PM

Maybe you should write him a little note, and say "I know you don't like cats, YOU know that I know that, so stop complaining when my cat is anywhere in sight. It's her home, not yours, and I wouldn't complain incessantly about something if was visiting your house!"

If he's just doing it to get a reaction out of you, that's pretty immature of him (I'm assuming he's over the age of 12), and you should just ignore it so he'll stop saying it. Or every time he says it, say, "and the sky is blue, anything else obvious you need to point out?"

Sowa

11-13-2011, 10:22 PM

momcat

11-13-2011, 10:23 PM

I don't think you're over-reacting at all and please don't think this is pointless. If this concerns you, and it obviously does, it needs to be addressed. You did the right thing bringing this to your PT friends.

Have you tried talking to him about his attitude towards cats and why he's so negative about them? Your sweetheart is a member of your family and he needs to understand her place not only in your home but also in your life.

I wish I had the definitive answer for you. The conversation is started and, knowing the PT folks, a workable solution will be found.

happylabs

11-13-2011, 10:27 PM

This guy sounds very immature. My opinion is that anyone visiting my home should respect my pets or not visit.

krazyaboutkatz

11-13-2011, 11:32 PM

This guy sounds very immature. My opinion is that anyone visiting my home should respect my pets or not visit.

I totally agree. I would never be able to just sit back and say nothing. I would've told him to leave and not come back a long time ago.

Taz_Zoee

11-13-2011, 11:44 PM

I would definitely say something. I'd probably say...I understand you don't like cats, but can you stop making comments all the time? Or I'd say....well, the cat lives here so if you don't like it then don't come over. Who knows, I'd probably not be very nice about it after putting up with it so often.

He is definitely very immature and needs to grow up. Will your boyfriend talk to him about it, if you don't feel comfortable doing it? I can understand you not wanting to cause problems. In fact, I probably wouldn't have said anything when I was younger either. I've become a bit "hard" in my old age. :p

katladyd

11-14-2011, 02:55 AM

I would just tell him, "Tough! She lives here and you don't! She can go where she wants, IT'S HER HOME."

moosmom

11-14-2011, 04:27 AM

Your cat was there before he was. "Love Me, Love My Cat" I would never even consider dating anyone who didn't have a respect for animals. It's obvious he doesn't.

I'd seriously consider losing the boyfriend before something else happens. Sorry, JMO.

aTailOf2Kitties

11-14-2011, 04:40 AM

I'd seriously consider losing the boyfriend before something else happens. Sorry, JMO.it's not her boyfriend, it's his friend

moosmom

11-14-2011, 06:35 AM

What the hell kind of friend is that??? I'd let the friend know that if he can't respect the kitty, to stay home!!

I have a friend who is not a "cat" person. But, she respects me and my cats and even had me over with my two naked babies one night during the power outtage.

That "friend" needs to grow up.

Pinot's Mom

11-14-2011, 07:03 AM

The cat is a member of my family; you are not. Don't let the screen door hit you on your way out.

chocolatepuppy

11-14-2011, 08:04 AM

That guy wouldn't last five minutes in my house! Has he no respect??? Sowa, you need a sign on your door...

This house is maintained for the comfort and security of my dogs and cats.
If you cannot accept that, then you cannot accept me.
*so go away*

sana

11-14-2011, 08:13 AM

Sheesh! What a weird person....I hate spiders too, but, if I met a spider owner and saw his/her spider, I'd keep my comments to myself! You're totally NOT overreacting! If anything like this (God forbid) ever happened to me, I hope I can stop my self from hurting that person! Hope that guy stops saying all the junk he says. This is extremely rude! :mad:

sana

11-14-2011, 08:30 AM

kaycountrygal

11-14-2011, 09:39 AM

You obviously are a very patient person. I on the other hand am not nearly as patient as I used to be.

If I had a friend (or a friend of boyfriend or even the boyfriend) who did not like cats and had to mention it every time he saw me, then I would eventually say:

Look (friend's name) I KNOW you dont like cats. I DO and I LIVE here and kitty is NOT going anywhere. So, if it is bothering you as it obviously is, you dont need to come back. Give us both a break.

Sowa

11-14-2011, 09:54 AM

They only thing keeping me from telling him off is that he is a very good friend of my boyfriend. I talked to my BF last night and said you HAVE to talk to him, because next time I'm not sure I can hold back from telling him off. I know that will make thins awkward for you, so I don't want to. But this has to stop.

I don't think my BF wants to, he said it annoys him too, and that he has mentioned it before and the friend sorta brushed it off. I told him he NEEDS to understand or I will say something and it won't be nice.

My poor cat is the nicest cat too. He is very very loving. He purrs all the time, and wants to snuggle. Nothing bothers him. I can take him to the vet for checkups and he just wants to explore. He got very sick once and spent a lot of time at the vet and everyone said what a joy he was and how loving. I know I'm a cat lover and can't really say anything but how can you not love that?

My cats made 2 cat hates actually like cats. I think that's a good thing. I feel if they are given the chance people will see cats aren't so bad.

But anyway, his friend is a very childish person. He isn't friendly with anyone really, he is very negative. I have NO idea why they are such good friends, but that's not really my place to decide who he is or isn't friends with. I try to support him which is why I haven't told the guy off.

Ok I'm rambling agian. I'll post pictures of my kitty so you all can see how beautiful he is.

momoffuzzyfaces

11-14-2011, 12:18 PM

Next time he comes over meet him at the door. Tell him this is my home and my cats. If you come in, you must respect us BOTH and clam up!!! :love:

And if he won't, tell him it's the last time he is welcome to come over.

Sowa

11-14-2011, 06:07 PM

According to my BF the reason his friend started to dislike cats was because when he was young, he went fishing and a cat stole his fish...:rolleyes:

Scooter's Mom

11-14-2011, 06:53 PM

According to my BF the reason his friend started to dislike cats was because when he was young, he went fishing and a cat stole his fish...:rolleyes:

That's a dumb reason... IMO.

My cousin was viciously attacked by 2 german shepherd dogs when he was about 6, but he doesn't hate all dogs, in fact he doesn't even hate german shepherd's. Attitude is everything.

You are not over-reacting at all. If I were in your shoes, that guy would never be allowed in or near my house until he learned a little respect.

Asiel

11-14-2011, 08:08 PM

Must say you are more patient than I am Sowa - the guy would have been out on his ear ages ago had he been coming to my house with that attitude.
I have to agree with everyone that you should make it clear you never want to hear another word about cats when he's over or he can just stay home.

Catty1

11-14-2011, 10:39 PM

Next time he comes over, give him a nice fresh rainbow trout....:p

It might be you that has to say something if your bf can't or won't. Don't wait til you are going to explode. If a person is being rude in YOUR house for ANY reason, you need to lay down the law. Period.

This guy sounds like he needs professional help and/or an attitude adjustment. Letting him get away with this is not helping him at all.

HUGS and good luck!

moosmom

11-15-2011, 06:17 AM

It stole his FISH???:confused::confused:

That is THE lamest excuse I EVER heard of!!

I am a reformed cat hater!! I adore my 8 cats and would do ANYTING for them!!! I am a changed woman because of them. It CAN be done! I think your friend needs the boot, and TOTALLY agree with Catmom.

maerlyn

11-15-2011, 07:57 AM

Well, ok, this idea is extreme, but extreme situations call for extreme measures: The next time this oaf is over, every time he touches something or sits on a chair - just copy him by saying, "EEWWWW! You drank from my glass, now I have to throw it out and get a new one." :p

katladyd

11-15-2011, 12:05 PM

The cat stealing his fish is a lame excuse. Several years ago a dog killed one of my cats. Now, I'm not especially fond of dogs now but when I am over someone's house and they have a dog I pet the dog and am very nice to it. It wasn't that dog who killed my precious Kitty. I am now starting to like dogs again because I realized how foolish is was to hate ALL dogs because of the actions of one. I've owned dogs in the past and loved them dearly. I would never, ever, be rude like that in someone else's home. It's amazing the nerve some people have!:rolleyes:

catnapper

11-15-2011, 02:04 PM

Ok, its not a boyfriend but a friend of your boyfriend. Thats easy -- tell him he is not welcome if he does not be considerate of every living creature within the home. Humans as well as animals.

He is disrepecting you and it sounds like he's getting joy out of it. Don't let him bully you into feeling awkward. He knows you don't like his comments yet makes them anyway. He's playing a game to see how far he can go. I work with a guy EXACTLY likme this and he's a huge immature jerk. The only way to get through to these guys is to say something short, to the point, and with no emotion.

sana

11-16-2011, 01:37 PM

That's a dumb reason... IMO.

That's a dumb reason IEOIS! :p {In everybody's opinion I'm sure!} :)

I was attacked badly by a Corgi when I was little and I have a pet Corgi right now which I adore! :love: :)

Seriously, if this is true that that boy's fish was stolen by a cat and that is the reason why he hates cats....then..seriously...why do you let him inside your house? :confused: IMO he's immaturely dumb! :eek: Seriously, if a cat stolen my fish, I'd brush it off like he brushed off the warning (like thing) your bf gave him! He needs to learn how to be a guest! A person learns that at the age of 8 or below! :mad:

@maerlyn: Cute idea! ;) :p
@Catty1: Hahaha!! :D

moosmom

11-16-2011, 03:49 PM

Respect the cat or stay the hell home!!:mad::mad:

kaycountrygal

11-16-2011, 05:15 PM

Sowa, Have you said anything to the friend of boyfriend yet??

Sowa

11-16-2011, 06:21 PM

I told my BF he has to make him understand or I'm telling him myself and it won't be nice. So he told the friend not to do it, and if the cat is bothering him to ask if we minded moving the cat away from him. I guess the friend responded with "OK". I'm not sure how my BF worded it him, but I hope he got the point across. I'm sure they talk about how evil the cat is while I'm not there :rolleyes: Though my BF likes the cat now.

It's funny. My dad claims to hate cats. He says they're pests, etc. Yet my cat snuggles every night with dad. Dad pats him all the time. When I asked him "You like the cat, right?" He says "That's none of your business. It's between me and the cat." :rolleyes: He just can't admit that he likes cats now.

So my cats turned 2 haters into cat "likers". Maybe we'll work on #3. :p