What do I do?!??!!

[laingj87]

I've had Sebastian (domestic short-hair-male) for 3 1/2 years now- since he was a little kitten. He has been my baby and I spoil him rotten- i will admit. My boyfriend treated him like his baby, too- until one horrible night. We were sleeping while he got a terrible charlie horse in the middle of the night. Through much of his agony and yelling, I tried to help him get the knot out of his leg. Then all of a sudden, Sebastian, comes violently attacking him- something he had NEVER done before! I couldn't get him off, he was literally hanging from my boyfriend's skin and continued to stalk him, hiss, and meow this crazy meow. It was awful, blood was everywhere... I finally shewed him into a different room, closed the door, and helped my boyfriend clean his wounds. About 20 minutes later, I let Sebastian out of the guest bedroom and he was purring, head butting me and showing me a great amount of affection like nothing had happened. He proceeded to want to cuddle with my boyfriend, too. It took me awhile to get him to feel comfortable with Sebastian again- but over time we even let him back in the bedroom to sleep with us again.

About 7 months later, we were sleeping again and Sebastian attacked him. The three of us were laying there and my boyfriends cell phone alarm went off for us to get up- so I kind of nudged him to turn it off- all of a sudden.. dej ja vu... It was the charlie horse situation all over again without the charlie horse- this time my boyfriend ended up w/ scar tissue.

I don't understand what provokes this behavior in my cat- but now my boyfriend is so afraid to be around him and will not sleep over anymore. We tried just closing the door but neither of us get sleep because Sebastian cries and scratches at the door all night. My boyfriend basically told me that if he is to propose to me, he wants the cat gone; that he cannot live his life walking on egg shells and being afraid of the cat. It hurts because the 3 of us were such a good "family." He always helped me out w/ him- and he loved him.... Now he absolutely hates him, and who could blame him? I don't want to get rid of my cat- he loves me and is so attached- vice versa. I couldn't bear the thought of giving him away for adoption or putting him down. My boyfriend also made the point that he didn't want our kids around the cat someday because he would be afraid of what he would do to them. Does anybody have some words of wisdom for me? I'm completely torn.... :(

[happylabs]

So sorry this has happened to you. I think I would start out by calling your vet.

Of course if it was me and I had to choose between the cat and the boyfriend, I would probably choose the cat. :D:p

[MoonandBean]

It almost sounds like your cat is protecting you if he perceives the physical contact between you and your boyfriend as threatening to you. Maybe you can contact a pet communicator and see if you can get some answers. I know that sounds funny but a lot of people have had good results.

http://www.lydiahiby.com/

Good luck. I'm so sorry about this; it sounds heartbreaking.

[ToBeEvergreen]

Check the vet, make sure your cat doesn't have some sort of unseen injury or hurt in him.

If the vet cannot find a problem, you may have to put the cat in another room at night and/or use some sort of spray. There is calming spray for cats, that releases something into the air in your home that can calm the cat.

Try all that you can, and talk to your vet about it. Feliway spray seems to be a common recommendation.

Also, make sure that if it happens again, especially to YOU, you try and see if there is something causing the reaction in the cat, IF the vet says there is nothing wrong. Otherwise, for now, I would be hesitant to let the cat in there with YOU for the night, if this reaction is so unpredictable. Cats, when angry, can really go off, tear some skin.

[Freedom]

Scary things happen and get the cat terrified, so he lashes out.

First the pain of the charlie horse, which must have had BF and you both making unusual sounds, plus it would have changed the chemical scent of BF, then the phone alarm.

Maybe I read to quickly, but I didn't see that the cat ever attacked you at all, just BF. That is the source of the strange things which happen, and kitty gets frightened.

I too would pick the cat and ditch the BF.

[Malibu's Mom]

In the meantime - I'd keep him out of the bedroom. Try putting up a baby gate to block him from having access to the door. I put a baby gate right outside the door to keep them from scratching on it. Also, spray some Feliway around the house. It's a calming pheromone that can sometimes work well.

When it comes down to the whole cat vs. boyfriend thing - I'm going to be blunt and say that I don't think a boyfriend that would make you give away something you truly love is a BF worth keeping. You said your cat is your "baby" - do you honestly think it's worth it to give him up for the chance to MAYBE marry this guy? And what if you give the cat up and he never proposes, or you get in a big fight and break up, he has to move away, etc?

A cat will always give you unconditional love until the day they die. I cannot say the same for the men.

[krazyaboutkatz]

In the meantime - I'd keep him out of the bedroom. Try putting up a baby gate to block him from having access to the door. I put a baby gate right outside the door to keep them from scratching on it. Also, spray some Feliway around the house. It's a calming pheromone that can sometimes work well.

When it comes down to the whole cat vs. boyfriend thing - I'm going to be blunt and say that I don't think a boyfriend that would make you give away something you truly love is a BF worth keeping. You said your cat is your "baby" - do you honestly think it's worth it to give him up for the chance to MAYBE marry this guy? And what if you give the cat up and he never proposes, or you get in a big fight and break up, he has to move away, etc?

A cat will always give you unconditional love until the day they die. I cannot say the same for the men.

Very good advice. I totally agree.:)

[Malibu's Mom]

Just had a quick thought, too - it would be very wise to keep his nails clipped on all 4 paws to keep him from doing much damage if he does lash out again.

[Medusa]

Scary things happen and get the cat terrified, so he lashes out.

First the pain of the charlie horse, which must have had BF and you both making unusual sounds, plus it would have changed the chemical scent of BF, then the phone alarm.

Maybe I read to quickly, but I didn't see that the cat ever attacked you at all, just BF. That is the source of the strange things which happen, and kitty gets frightened.

I too would pick the cat and ditch the BF.

Yes, that's what I gathered from all of this. Your cat was startled, both times by BF, and he was reacting. He was startled by the sounds and he felt that BF was causing them.

I don't like ultimatums especially one such as BF gave you. Your cat did nothing wrong; he simply reacted b/c he was startled.