Story teller game

[wombat2u2004]

Yup, they would cause the Holstein cows in the pasture to Stampede, along with the hogs to squeal & do cart wheels, & dogs to bark & howl. Those grits are starting to take affect a big affect :eek:..........

....so don't stand downwind from me folks. If you do, then you'll wish you were back in skunkland." "Oh by the way Wom, what are you doing with all of those corn cobs ???"
"Well, I figure if I get enuf of them lashed together, it would make a good enuf raft to get us across the Mississippi' said Wom 'besides, we have an ex USN guy with us here, who can steer our new craft. And folks, we really do need to distance ourselves from Bonny when she lets loose."
"So, have we got a name for this new craft of yours" Said Bill.
"Yep' continued Wom 'It's called a Cocker. That means "Corn on Cob Keeled Everymans Raft." "That's a fine name for a fine craft Wom" Said Bill. "Does it have a ............

Chief Gunners Mate

[kokopup]

wom

....so don't stand downwind from me folks. If you do, then you'll wish you were back in skunkland." "Oh by the way Wom, what are you doing with all of those corn cobs ???"
"Well, I figure if I get enuf of them lashed together, it would make a good enuf raft to get us across the Mississippi' said Wom 'besides, we have an ex USN guy with us here, who can steer our new craft. And folks, we really do need to distance ourselves from Bonny when she lets loose."
"So, have we got a name for this new craft of yours" Said Bill.
"Yep' continued Wom 'It's called a Cocker. That means "Corn on Cob Keeled Everymans Raft." "That's a fine name for a fine craft Wom" Said Bill. "Does it have a ............power train of it's own or are we paddling. If we could harness some of the gas that is lingering around here we could make this a real river tug. I would make you our Chief Gunners Mate Wom but I guess if this is a tug we shouldn't be shooting at anyone. I think even on the Mississippi this would be....

Riverboat gambler

[wombat2u2004]

wom
power train of it's own or are we paddling. If we could harness some of the gas that is lingering around here we could make this a real river tug. I would make you our Chief Gunners Mate Wom but I guess if this is a tug we shouldn't be shooting at anyone. I think even on the Mississippi this would be....

......better than a paddlesteamer."
"Hmmmm' said Wom 'do you think we would be able to make a few knots per hour if we tied Bonny to the gas bottles and fed her lots of grits and then utilise the methane gas she would produce ??? I mean, you're the engineer Bill, you'll have to do some calculations, you know, convert consumption of grits into knots per hour. Like KPH = COG X (Methane squared)"
"Look out folks, the wash from that paddlesteamer The Riverboat Gambler is a comein this way" Yelled Bill. "Quick, everyone in the boat, Elyse...run up the Jolly Roger, Bonny.....eat more grits, Wom....stop playing with that calculator, Helen....swab the decks."
The wash hit all of a sudden and.............

Niagara Falls

[Bonny]

......better than a paddlesteamer."
"Hmmmm' said Wom 'do you think we would be able to make a few knots per hour if we tied Bonny to the gas bottles and fed her lots of grits and then utilise the methane gas she would produce ??? I mean, you're the engineer Bill, you'll have to do some calculations, you know, convert consumption of grits into knots per hour. Like KPH = COG X (Methane squared)"
"Look out folks, the wash from that paddlesteamer The Riverboat Gambler is a comein this way" Yelled Bill. "Quick, everyone in the boat, Elyse...run up the Jolly Roger, Bonny.....eat more grits, Wom....stop playing with that calculator, Helen....swab the decks."
The wash hit all of a sudden and.............

Niagara Falls

it was like Niagara Falls all over again. Bill yelled grab Wom's shorts & use them as a sail to get us to dry land. .....

Windy

[kokopup]

Bonny

it was like Niagara Falls all over again. Bill yelled grab Wom's shorts & use them as a sail to get us to dry land. .....Omm err Belay that last request. I think our Wom is Riding Comando again. I sure wish he would learn that you have to wash everything, not just what is showing. Elyse get the table cloth out of you picnic basket. If it doesn't get too windy maybe we can keep this cob, husked and ready for action. Helen, Eylse could use your....


Illinois

[wombat2u2004]

Bonny
.....Omm err Belay that last request. I think our Wom is Riding Comando again. I sure wish he would learn that you have to wash everything, not just what is showing. Elyse get the table cloth out of you picnic basket. If it doesn't get too windy maybe we can keep this cob, husked and ready for action. Helen, Eylse could use your....

....boarding pass to get on the paddlesteamer. You know what these Illinois gals are like ??? It's peace all the way."
"I'll give them peace alright' yelled Wom 'I'll give that lot on the paddlesteamer a piece of my trusty sword" With that, Wom yelled his war cry "Here piggy piggy" and jumped aft. But too late did he realise that he had constructed the raft without an aft, and he fell headlong into.............

manatee

[kokopup]

wom
....boarding pass to get on the paddlesteamer. You know what these Illinois gals are like ??? It's peace all the way."
"I'll give them peace alright' yelled Wom 'I'll give that lot on the paddlesteamer a piece of my trusty sword" With that, Wom yelled his war cry "Here piggy piggy" and jumped aft. But too late did he realise that he had constructed the raft without an aft, and he fell headlong into.............

muddy Mississippi." Man Overboard" shouts Bill. " Someone throw him a life preserver". Elyse shouts back, "We don't have a life preserver." " What should we do"? Bonny quickly grabs one of Wom's inflatible dolls and throws it in Wom's direct. Wom by now had gained his composure and was swimming around like a Manatee in Silver Springs. Just as Wom was about to get back on board with Bonny's help, Bonny....

high clover

[wombat2u2004]

muddy Mississippi." Man Overboard" shouts Bill. " Someone throw him a life preserver". Elyse shouts back, "We don't have a life preserver." " What should we do"? Bonny quickly grabs one of Wom's inflatible dolls and throws it in Wom's direct. Wom by now had gained his composure and was swimming around like a Manatee in Silver Springs. Just as Wom was about to get back on board with Bonny's help, Bonny....

.......tripped on the bait bucket, and fell headling into the fish hold. "Get me out. Get me out' screamed Bonny 'This place smells worse than an Iowan pig sty in high clover."
"Ok everyone, we'll have to pick straws to see who'll help Bonny out of the fish hold" Said Bill. "Not me" Said Elyse. "Nor I" said Helen. "What about you Wom ?" Said Bill. "I wouldn't touch her with a twelve foot pole" Said Wom.''
"Well I can't' said Bill 'I guess you are on your own Bonny."

Green halibut

[Bonny]

.......tripped on the bait bucket, and fell headling into the fish hold. "Get me out. Get me out' screamed Bonny 'This place smells worse than an Iowan pig sty in high clover."
"Ok everyone, we'll have to pick straws to see who'll help Bonny out of the fish hold" Said Bill. "Not me" Said Elyse. "Nor I" said Helen. "What about you Wom ?" Said Bill. "I wouldn't touch her with a twelve foot pole" Said Wom.''
"Well I can't' said Bill 'I guess you are on your own Bonny."

Green halibut

Thanks for nothing my so called friends. It looks like you won't be getting any dinner today these Green halibut look mighty tasty. Just think fried in butter with morel mushrooms on the side. Yum! Yum!

Everyone's stomachs are growling & they are frothing at the mouth just thinking about the delicious dinner they are missing out on. A Motley Crew they are.

Then low & behold Sana & Prince Charming show up to save the day in their Gondola. Sana being the polite young lady she is pulls Bonny out of the fish hold & chews the rest of the crew out for being so MEAN & UNCARING....

Sniff Sniff

[wombat2u2004]

Thanks for nothing my so called friends. It looks like you won't be getting any dinner today these Green halibut look mighty tasty. Just think fried in butter with morel mushrooms on the side. Yum! Yum!

Everyone's stomachs are growling & they are frothing at the mouth just thinking about the delicious dinner they are missing out on. A Motley Crew they are.

Then low & behold Sana & Prince Charming show up to save the day in their Gondola. Sana being the polite young lady she is pulls Bonny out of the fish hold & chews the rest of the crew out for being so MEAN & UNCARING....


......"How about some of that green halibut?" Said Sana and Prince Charming in unison. "Sure' said Bonny 'I'll make you my special Green Halibut Surprise. But first we need to get a couple of big ones out of the fish hold. Prince Charming, would you be a good boy and get some for me ??"
"No way' said Prince Charming 'All of that fish in the hold is rotting and green."
"Sniff Sniff ' said Bonny 'nobody loves my cooking any more, nobody loves me."
"Sure we do" said the rest of the crew as they approached with gas masks on.

Fire Hose

[Bonny]

......"How about some of that green halibut?" Said Sana and Prince Charming in unison. "Sure' said Bonny 'I'll make you my special Green Halibut Surprise. But first we need to get a couple of big ones out of the fish hold. Prince Charming, would you be a good boy and get some for me ??"
"No way' said Prince Charming 'All of that fish in the hold is rotting and green."
"Sniff Sniff ' said Bonny 'nobody loves my cooking any more, nobody loves me."
"Sure we do" said the rest of the crew as they approached with gas masks on.

Fire Hose

Gee Wizzles! You all look like you just came from Mars. I have a little grease fire going on down in the galley. I hope you don't mind blackened halibut or no halibut. Bonny goes back to tend to things in the galley. Comes back with this major announcment " We now have a more than major problem here"! "The galley is a fire". :eek: I suppose we don't have a Fire Hose to put the fire out? Everyone .......

Holy Halibut!

[cassiesmom]

"Everyone grab a container and line up -- we'll do a bucket brigade till the fire trucks arrive!"

Elyse grabs a nearby plastic pail, races outside to fill it with water and shouts, "Holy Halibut! I've got a fish in my pail! Should I throw it back?"

sirens

[wombat2u2004]

"Everyone grab a container and line up -- we'll do a bucket brigade till the fire trucks arrive!"

Elyse grabs a nearby plastic pail, races outside to fill it with water and shouts, "Holy Halibut! I've got a fish in my pail! Should I throw it back?"


"No bloody way.' Said Wom 'We'll eat it. It's gotta be better than Bonny's wheat flavoured ice cream and her corn flavoured pumkin pie." Just then a siren sounded just beyond the poop deck and...................

flatulence

[Bonny]

"No bloody way.' Said Wom 'We'll eat it. It's gotta be better than Bonny's wheat flavoured ice cream and her corn flavoured pumkin pie." Just then a siren sounded just beyond the poop deck and...................

flatulence

the river patrol is chasing a speeding barge up the river. Bonny decides to give up cooking & go on a vacation. Tells the group to have their halibut, eat it & end up with flatulence........


jet plane

[wombat2u2004]

the river patrol is chasing a speeding barge up the river. Bonny decides to give up cooking & go on a vacation. Tells the group to have their halibut, eat it & end up with flatulence........

...and other assorted ailments.
"Oh No !!!! " Everyone said. "You're not leaving us again Bonny. Please, you can't go on vacation now. Who will mop the deck ??? Who will be our captain now ??
At that, Bonny bursts into song..................
"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waiting, he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry.

I'm leavin' on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, gang, I hate to go."

"Oh gawd' shouts Elyse 'would you stop singing ?? You're not even in tune."
" I'll second that' said Wom 'she sounds like a wailing cat."
Helen and Bill jump overboard to escape the terrible sound as..........

Foghorn

[kokopup]

Wom
Oh gawd' shouts Elyse 'would you stop singing ?? You're not even in tune."
" I'll second that' said Wom 'she sounds like a wailing cat."
Helen and Bill jump overboard to escape the terrible sound as..........
... the fog rolls in it makes seeing anything impossible. Bill shouts " Helen are you ok." I'm ok", says Helen, if we had escaped Bonnies wiling it would be better".Bill says, "I dont's think that is Bonny making that noise". " I admit it sound about the same but I think that must be a Foghorn. " Could have fooled me," says Helen, "it has that same awful......


ripit, ripit....ripit

[wombat2u2004]

Wom
... the fog rolls in it makes seeing anything impossible. Bill shouts " Helen are you ok." I'm ok", says Helen, if we had escaped Bonnies wiling it would be better".Bill says, "I dont's think that is Bonny making that noise". " I admit it sound about the same but I think that must be a Foghorn. " Could have fooled me," says Helen, "it has that same awful......

.......sound that Bonny makes a few hours after she eats broccoli casserole.
"Hey Wom, throw us a lifebouy" Said Helen. "Sure thing" Said Wom.
Wom throws them a lifebouy, and as Helen and Bill reach for it, Wom pulls it back with a little bit of string he has tied to it. "Hee hee...gotcha" laughs Wom. "Aw comeon Wom, it's cold in here, give us the lifebouy" Said Bill.
"Ok Ok" Said Wom as he threw the lifebouy a few feet short of them. As Bill reached for it, Wom pulled it back away from them again. "Hah, gotchas again"
Wom laughs.
Just then, two little eyes surface in the river. Is it an alligator ??? No...it's Kermit the Frog !!!! "ripit, ripit....ripit" said Kermit as.............

It isn't easy being green

[cassiesmom]

Just then, two little eyes surface in the river. Is it an alligator ??? No...it's Kermit the Frog !!!! "ripit, ripit....ripit" said Kermit as he starts to sing "It Isn't Easy Being Green".

"Kermit, why are you singing at a time like this?" asks Elyse. "Helen and Bill went overboard!"

Kermit answers, "Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here. I'm singing because..."

Cookie Monster

[kokopup]

cassiesmom

Kermit answers, "Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here. I'm singing because..." .. I'm on my way to Sesame Street to see my old friend the Cookie Monster. I've got a new mystery box and I can wait to show it...

Miss Piggy

[wombat2u2004]

cassiesmom
.. I'm on my way to Sesame Street to see my old friend the Cookie Monster. I've got a new mystery box and I can wait to show it...

......to Big Bird and Miss Piggy. "What' said Elyse 'you're not going to give us a show while you are here ??"
"Ribit well maybe ribet" said Kermit. "It all depends on the weather, whether you want me to do it or not....HAH !!! Got ya's"
Helen and Bill swam back to the boat, and were helped aboard by Wom with a fish hook.
"Ok everyone, be seated, Kermit is about to do us a show".
Drums roll....kokopup starts howling and Bonny's false teeth rattle as.......


Bing Crosby

[kokopup]

Wom

"Ok everyone, be seated, Kermit is about to do us a show".
Drums roll....kokopup starts howling and Bonny's false teeth rattle as....... .............kermits pulls out his mystery box. I was wanting to test my new show on this eclectic mob..er I mean group to see if it will work for Cookie monster. First out of the box is my impersonation of Bing Crosby singing Pistol Packin' Mama. Kermet turns to Bonny and Elyse and ask if they can do the Andrew sisters part. Bonny jumps up and runs toward...


White Christmas

[wombat2u2004]

Wom
. .............kermits pulls out his mystery box. I was wanting to test my new show on this eclectic mob..er I mean group to see if it will work for Cookie monster. First out of the box is my impersonation of Bing Crosby singing Pistol Packin' Mama. Kermet turns to Bonny and Elyse and ask if they can do the Andrew sisters part. Bonny jumps up and runs toward...

...the small stage that had been erected, and slams smack bang into a tree, knocking herself out. "Oh well' said Wom 'looks like it'll have to be Elyse and Helen now. "Can we sing White Christmas instead ??" Said Elyse to Kermit.
"No' said Kermit 'definately not. I am very much for animal rights, and as such, you may sing Green Christmas instead."
Bonny starts to recover consciousness, muttering incoherently as she.........

Double Vision

[Bonny]

...the small stage that had been erected, and slams smack bang into a tree, knocking herself out. "Oh well' said Wom 'looks like it'll have to be Elyse and Helen now. "Can we sing White Christmas instead ??" Said Elyse to Kermit.
"No' said Kermit 'definately not. I am very much for animal rights, and as such, you may sing Green Christmas instead."
Bonny starts to recover consciousness, muttering incoherently as she.........

Double Vision

has her eyes crossed with stars circling around her head. There are now two Kermit's along with two of everybody else. Having Double Vision is great we get double the entertainment with two Kermit's. I wonder ......

Miss Piggy

[cassiesmom]

Having Double Vision is great we get double the entertainment with two Kermit's. I wonder ......

"I wonder how thrilled Miss Piggy would be to know that there are not one, but two Kermit's."

"We should call her and find out!" agrees Elyse. "Kermit, come here a minute. Do you have Miss Piggy's phone number in your cell phone?"

"Goodness, no," answers Kermit. "But I have Fozzie Bear's - would that work?"


Skype

[wombat2u2004]

"I wonder how thrilled Miss Piggy would be to know that there are not one, but two Kermit's."

"We should call her and find out!" agrees Elyse. "Kermit, come here a minute. Do you have Miss Piggy's phone number in your cell phone?"

"Goodness, no," answers Kermit. "But I have Fozzie Bear's - would that work?" Skype

"That old fuzz ball ???' said Elyse 'No he won't do. I'll try and get hold of Miss Piggy on Skype."
Elyse: "Hello, Miss Piggy, are you there?"
Miss Piggy: "Hi Elyse, waddya want?"
Elyse: Well, we have two Kermits here, and we'd like to know if you'd like the both of them.
Miss Piggy: Two Kermits ??? YES PLEASE !!!! Send them right over. I haven't been this happy since that roll in the mudpit with Gonzo."
Elyse: "Errrrrrr.............

Jealousy

[kokopup]

Miss Piggy: Two Kermits ??? YES PLEASE !!!! Send them right over. I haven't been this happy since that roll in the mudpit with Gonzo."
Elyse: "Errrrrrr...............maybe you shouldn't go Kermit, I have a bad feeling about throwing you to the er-aaa pig". "Maybe we can just review some more of you Mystery box. You did want to show Cookie Monster a big surprise didn't you" Kermit says, " you don't care about me, Miss Piggy, or even Cookie Monster, you are just Jealousy". Bonny speaks up, "why don't we just forget this ever happened. I'm only seeing...



Chitty chitty Bang bang

[Bonny]

..maybe you shouldn't go Kermit, I have a bad feeling about throwing you to the er-aaa pig". "Maybe we can just review some more of you Mystery box. You did want to show Cookie Monster a big surprise didn't you" Kermit says, " you don't care about me, Miss Piggy, or even Cookie Monster, you are just Jealousy". Bonny speaks up, "why don't we just forget this ever happened. I'm only seeing...



Chitty chitty Bang bang

only one Kermit now & my brain has stopped going Chitty chitty Bang bang. Kermit opens his Mystery box .........

magical

[kokopup]

Bonny

only one Kermit now & my brain has stopped going Chitty chitty Bang bang. Kermit opens his Mystery box ............".Well everyone, does anyone have a guess on what is in the box." Bonny speaks up. "cookie". No it is not a cookie, says Kermit. "I'll give everyone a hint. It is round. "It is a cookie", say Elyse. "No it is not a cookie". Kermit speaks up again, "Ok last Hint." "It is magical". Wom jumps up, crossbow at the ready, and starts running toward the box.....

Heinz 57

[wombat2u2004]

Bonny
...".Well everyone, does anyone have a guess on what is in the box." Bonny speaks up. "cookie". No it is not a cookie, says Kermit. "I'll give everyone a hint. It is round. "It is a cookie", say Elyse. "No it is not a cookie". Kermit speaks up again, "Ok last Hint." "It is magical". Wom jumps up, crossbow at the ready, and starts running toward the box.....

.......but too late did he slam the lid closed on the Magical Elf within. Too late to save the day. Too late to stop the Magical Elf from his spell that turned Helen into a wart.
"My God !!!' Said Bonny 'He's turned Helen into a wart"
"You can say that again" said Bill.
"My God !!!' continued Bonny "He's turned Helen into a wart"
"Would you both shaddup; said Wom 'this is no time for joking, we have to get Helen changed back to the way she was."
"Maybe if we offer the Magical Elf a can of Heinz 57. It may be enough to appease him" said Elyse.
"Why don't you offer him something nice and sweet" said Helen.
"Oh Good God !!!' said Wom 'a talking wart !!! What are we going to do now ??"

Jello

[kokopup]

Wom

"Maybe if we offer the Magical Elf a can of Heinz 57. It may be enough to appease him" said Elyse.
"Why don't you offer him something nice and sweet" said Helen.
"Oh Good God !!!' said Wom 'a talking wart !!! What are we going to do now ??" Bills speaks up, "Did anyone else notice that that was a kibbler elf."kermit must be getting him for Cookie Monster." Wom says, Whats a Kibbler Elf? Elyse the wart speaks up, " are going to tell me they don't have Kibbler Cookies in Australia." as she speaks she quivers like jello. This is why kermit called him Magical". He can...

The greats show on earth

[wombat2u2004]

Wom
Bills speaks up, "Did anyone else notice that that was a kibbler elf."kermit must be getting him for Cookie Monster." Wom says, Whats a Kibbler Elf? Elyse the wart speaks up, " are going to tell me they don't have Kibbler Cookies in Australia." as she speaks she quivers like jello. This is why kermit called him Magical". He can...

......turn Iowan prairie dogs into doves, and they can all fly away. It's like The greatest show on earth."
"Wow' said Wom 'he can really do that ??? I want to see him do that."
"NOOOOHOOOHOOOOO' yelled Bonny 'you can't do that to my prairie dog collection."
"Well if you don't agree to us using you prairie dog collection,' said Wom 'how can I ever believe that these Kibbler Cookie thingies actually exist ?? Or are they just a figment of everyones imagination ??"
"Okayyyyyyyyy' said Bill 'I've got an idea. First we............

Tieing Bonny up with duct tape

[Bonny]

......turn Iowan prairie dogs into doves, and they can all fly away. It's like The greatest show on earth."
"Wow' said Wom 'he can really do that ??? I want to see him do that."
"NOOOOHOOOHOOOOO' yelled Bonny 'you can't do that to my prairie dog collection."
"Well if you don't agree to us using you prairie dog collection,' said Wom 'how can I ever believe that these Kibbler Cookie thingies actually exist ?? Or are they just a figment of everyones imagination ??"
"Okayyyyyyyyy' said Bill 'I've got an idea. First we............

Tieing Bonny up with duct tape

are tying Bonny up with duct tape. "I don't think so" says Bonnie. You mess with my prairie dog collection & you'll end up with Monkey Pocks & I can guarantee it. You will end up with great big boils on your bodies, with high fevers, & all your hair will fall out. Not only that you will start digging holes in the ground & making your own dog towns & grow huge buck teeth. Monkey Pocks will make the Keebler Elf .........


Mary Poppins

[kokopup]

Bonny

are tying Bonny up with duct tape. "I don't think so" says Bonnie. You mess with my prairie dog collection & you'll end up with Monkey Pocks & I can guarantee it. You will end up with great big boils on your bodies, with high fevers, & all your hair will fall out. Not only that you will start digging holes in the ground & making your own dog towns & grow huge buck teeth. Monkey Pocks will make the Keebler Elf ......... treat you like a leper straight from the streets of Karachi. In addition to making really good cookies they travel around helping with "Mary Poppins" a production now playing at the NEW AMSTERDAM THEATER in New York. This Elf has so much clout I'm sure there is a big body guard close by. Bill speaks up "Wom I would tread lightly right now there appears to be ........

Dodge ball

[wombat2u2004]

Bonny
treat you like a leper straight from the streets of Karachi. In addition to making really good cookies they travel around helping with "Mary Poppins" a production now playing at the NEW AMSTERDAM THEATER in New York. This Elf has so much clout I'm sure there is a big body guard close by. Bill speaks up "Wom I would tread lightly right now there appears to be ........

....a bounty on your head already. You'll be playing dodge ball and outrun the bullet if that elf ever finds out where you are."
"No problems' said Wom 'I've got a grey wig and one of those plastic warty noses to put on, the elf will think I'm Bonny's twin sister, and go look elsewhere."
"Hah !!!' said Elyse 'You'll never get away with that."
"Yep I will' said Wom 'by the time I get finished with my new makeup, I'll look just like that woman in the American Gothic painting, in other words, I'll look just like Bonny.
"I've got a better idea' Said Bill ' you can.................

Cardboard box

[kokopup]

Wom

....a bounty on your head already. You'll be playing dodge ball and outrun the bullet if that elf ever finds out where you are."
"No problems' said Wom 'I've got a grey wig and one of those plastic warty noses to put on, the elf will think I'm Bonny's twin sister, and go look elsewhere."
"Hah !!!' said Elyse 'You'll never get away with that."
"Yep I will' said Wom 'by the time I get finished with my new makeup, I'll look just like that woman in the American Gothic painting, in other words, I'll look just like Bonny.
"I've got a better idea' Said Bill ' you can...................Get a BIG cardboard box and dress up like Sponge Bob Square pants. All it will take is a gallon of yellow paint, a knife to cut some eye holes, and a box of crayons to draw you a face. Wom said, " who is sponge Bob Square Pants,? Elyse and Bonny in Unison say " Dont tell me they dont have Sponge Bob....


Saturday morning Kid's TV watching fair

[Bonny]

Wom
..Get a BIG cardboard box and dress up like Sponge Bob Square pants. All it will take is a gallon of yellow paint, a knife to cut some eye holes, and a box of crayons to draw you a face. Wom said, " who is sponge Bob Square Pants,? Elyse and Bonny in Unison say " Dont tell me they dont have Sponge Bob....


Saturday morning Kid's TV watching fair

Square Pants on every Saturday morning Kid's TV watching fair in Auss. Sponge Bob is almost a national hero in the U.S. & may be running for president of the United States someday, once he quits his job grilling grabby patties & .........


Sarah Palin

[wombat2u2004]

Square Pants on every Saturday morning Kid's TV watching fair in Auss. Sponge Bob is almost a national hero in the U.S. & may be running for president of the United States someday, once he quits his job grilling grabby patties & .........

.........generally making an idiot of himself."
"No.' said Wom 'Your next President of the USA will be none other than Bill.
Eat your heart out Sarah Palin. So tell us all Your Majesty Bill.....what will your first decision to be when you are moved into the White house ???"

El Presidente

[kokopup]

.........generally making an idiot of himself."
"No.' said Wom 'Your next President of the USA will be none other than Bill.
Eat your heart out Sarah Palin. So tell us all Your Majesty Bill.....what will your first decision to be when you are moved into the White house ???"

The second coming of Bill will be known as His Highness William II the El Presidente of the "L". His first proclamation will be ban all Aussies from Motorsports. It is obvious that this is their national passtime so why let them come to America and take all our money back down under. Having Aussies competing in Motorsports is about as fair as 7'5" basketball players without raising the net.

In keeping with a 200 year tradition nothing will change in Washington. I plan to have Elyse as my Press Secretary and Bonny can pick whatever.....

Hilary Clinton

[wombat2u2004]

The second coming of Bill will be known as His Highness William II the El Presidente of the "L". His first proclamation will be ban all Aussies from Motorsports. It is obvious that this is their national passtime so why let them come to America and take all our money back down under. Having Aussies competing in Motorsports is about as fair as 7'5" basketball players without raising the net.

In keeping with a 200 year tradition nothing will change in Washington. I plan to have Elyse as my Press Secretary and Bonny can pick whatever.....


..........job she wants in the kitchen working with Condoleeza's Rice Cooker."
"But what about me ?' Said Wom. "Does that mean I have to give up the pushbike I ride to beat the American racing car drivers ??"
"Well' said Elyse 'you are responsible for our economy being at such a low, Wom. Taking all of that money back to Australia."
"Yeah, but' continues Wom 'Hilary Clinton gave me permission a few years back, to ride my bycycle to victory in your own Formula One races (I had to give her a kickback tho)"
"BUT Wom ' said Bonny 'you have....................

Truly great biceps

[Bonny]

..........job she wants in the kitchen working with Condoleeza's Rice Cooker."
"But what about me ?' Said Wom. "Does that mean I have to give up the pushbike I ride to beat the American racing car drivers ??"
"Well' said Elyse 'you are responsible for our economy being at such a low, Wom. Taking all of that money back to Australia."
"Yeah, but' continues Wom 'Hilary Clinton gave me permission a few years back, to ride my bycycle to victory in your own Formula One races (I had to give her a kickback tho)"
"BUT Wom ' said Bonny 'you have....................

Truly great biceps

truly great biceps & that is about all you have. Maybe you should tricycle right on over to Hillary Dillarys & collect that kickback back .....

behind bars, big house, jail

[wombat2u2004]

truly great biceps & that is about all you have. Maybe you should tricycle right on over to Hillary Dillarys & collect that kickback back .....

......"What ??' Said Wom 'You refer to the Mistress Who Is Always Right as Hillary Dillary ??? I'm telling her that !!! And you will end up behind bars, big house, jail or whatever you guys over the ocean call it."
"Nohoohoohoo...' wailed Bonny 'please don't tell her Wom, I beg of you."
"Up off your knees, girl !!!' Said Wom 'Arise, arise, and stop grovelling at my feet."
"Yeah' said Elyse 'that is so unladylike of you Bonny."

Bonny's apology to Hilary

[Bonny]

......"What ??' Said Wom 'You refer to the Mistress Who Is Always Right as Hillary Dillary ??? I'm telling her that !!! And you will end up behind bars, big house, jail or whatever you guys over the ocean call it."
"Nohoohoohoo...' wailed Bonny 'please don't tell her Wom, I beg of you."
"Up off your knees, girl !!!' Said Wom 'Arise, arise, and stop grovelling at my feet."
"Yeah' said Elyse 'that is so unladylike of you Bonny."

Bonny's apology to Hilary

Lets say we go into your kitchen Hilary where peeping eyes & big hears can't hear. Bonnie returns with the kick back mo-o-o-w-la with instructions to make sure her daughter Chelsie learns to properly bake cookies because Hilary never had time to show her along with ........


Stay At Home League of Mothers

[kokopup]

Lets say we go into your kitchen Hilary where peeping eyes & big hears can't hear. Bonnie returns with the kick back mo-o-o-w-la with instructions to make sure her daughter Chelsie learns to properly bake cookies because Hilary never had time to show her along with .............what the true definition of sex is, since her father had muddied the water in that regard. Baking cookies is the number one priority of the Stay at home league of mothers. If you can't bake cookies what else do you serve with that hot coco on those cold Washington nights. Press secretary wantabe Bonny speaks up with a tone of authority. I want to make it perfectly clear that....

Secretary Of Operational Wombat Intelligents (SOOWI )

[Bonny]

.....what the true definition of sex is, since her father had muddied the water in that regard. Baking cookies is the number one priority of the Stay at home league of mothers. If you can't bake cookies what else do you serve with that hot coco on those cold Washington nights. Press secretary wantabe Bonny speaks up with a tone of authority. I want to make it perfectly clear that....

Secretary Of Operational Wombat Intelligents (SOOWI )

the first batch of Chelsie's cookies are to be tested for flavor & texture by the Secretary of Operational Wombat Intelligence (SOOWI). If they aren't up to the high standards of the Stay At Home League of Mothers we will have to .....

Martha Stewart :eek:

[wombat2u2004]

the first batch of Chelsie's cookies are to be tested for flavor & texture by the Secretary of Operational Wombat Intelligence (SOOWI). If they aren't up to the high standards of the Stay At Home League of Mothers we will have to .....

.....blame Martha Stewart, for it was her recipe we used."
Wom pops a cookie into his mouth.
"Errrrkkkk' said Wom 'Ptuuuiiiiii.....these are the worst cookies I have ever tasted. As the new SOOWI, I demand to know what flavour these cookies are."
"Waaaalllllll ' said Chelsie 'naver in ma whoooole life has anywaaan nart larked ma coooookies, and nooowww ya'all insalt ma Southern hopitaliteeeeeeeee ??
A'm telling daddy."
"Oops" Said Bonny.
"Uh oh" Said Bill.
"Whoops" Said Helen.
"I'm getting out of here" Said Elyse.
"Bugger me." Said Wom.
They all run out and jump into Bills racing car, and speed off to their safe haven in the Montana Badlands.

4 MPH

[kokopup]

.....blame Martha Stewart, for it was her recipe we used."

Wom pops a cookie into his mouth.
"Errrrkkkk' said Wom 'Ptuuuiiiiii.....these are the worst cookies I have ever tasted. As the new SOOWI, I demand to know what flavour these cookies are."
"Waaaalllllll ' said Chelsie 'naver in ma whoooole life has anywaaan nart larked ma coooookies, and nooowww ya'all insalt ma Southern hopitaliteeeeeeeee ??
A'm telling daddy."
"Oops" Said Bonny.
"Uh oh" Said Bill.
"Whoops" Said Helen.
"I'm getting out of here" Said Elyse.
"Bugger me." Said Wom.
They all run out and jump into Bills racing car, and speed off to their safe haven in the Montana Badlands. Only to be met by 50 gazillion tourist which brought Bill's racing car down to a 4 MPH crawl. Bill speaks up,"The only thing I hate about trying to drive during tourist season are these %$#$%$ tourist. I would love to see some of these beautiful parks without so many %$#$%$ tourist getting in your way. Do you realize we could have walked to Glacier National Park by now. You guys need to remind me to tell you the story of my first swim in Flathead Lake. Brrr that was a stimulating dip". Just when we thought traffic was bad, a big Brown...


Mass exodus

[Bonny]

.....blame Martha Stewart, for it was her recipe we used."
Only to be met by 50 gazillion tourist which brought Bill's racing car down to a 4 MPH crawl. Bill speaks up,"The only thing I hate about trying to drive during tourist season are these %$#$%$ tourist. I would love to see some of these beautiful parks without so many %$#$%$ tourist getting in your way. Do you realize we could have walked to Glacier National Park by now. You guys need to remind me to tell you the story of my first swim in Flathead Lake. Brrr that was a stimulating dip". Just when we thought traffic was bad, a big Brown...


Mass exodus

Grizzly Bear was sitting in the middle of the road munching on a tourist. Wom being the Aussie Digger is armed to the hilt & decides to take on the Girzzly, with objections from Bill, Alyse, & Bonnie who are now hiding & planning to make a Mass exodus ......

Grizzly Adams

[kokopup]

Grizzly Bear was sitting in the middle of the road munching on a tourist. Wom being the Aussie Digger is armed to the hilt & decides to take on the Girzzly, with objections from Bill, Alyse, & Bonnie who are now hiding & planning to make a Mass exodus ......Wom , Armed with a cane and a boomarang steps up behind the big grizzly and like Grizzly Adams, "Shouts Hold on Pilgrim." The bears was startled by Woms accent for one, and then turns dropping the other tourist. Seeing Woms meager presents the bear....

Hallelujah Chorus

[Bonny]

Wom , Armed with a cane and a boomarang steps up behind the big grizzly and like Grizzly Adams, "Shouts Hold on Pilgrim." The bears was startled by Woms accent for one, and then turns dropping the other tourist. Seeing Woms meager presents the bear....

Hallelujah Chorus

takes off somersaulting down the mountain side. In the mean time a bus load of the Moran Tabernacle choir sing the Hallelujah Chorus.

We should get going says Bill before the sunsets. Elyse says "Lets go to Flathead Lake I want to see Billy Boy do a loopidity loop into the lake". So down the ......

ROAD CLOSED UNDER CONSTRUCTION

[wombat2u2004]

takes off somersaulting down the mountain side. In the mean time a bus load of the Moran Tabernacle choir sing the Hallelujah Chorus.

We should get going says Bill before the sunsets. Elyse says "Lets go to Flathead Lake I want to see Billy Boy do a loopidity loop into the lake". So down the ......

the road they went. Luckily for them there wasn't a sign saying "ROAD CLOSED UNDER CONSTRUCTION". If there had been, then they'd all have had to get out of Bills racing car and lift it to turn around, seeing that the stearing wheel never worked. So down the road they went...faster and faster and faster.
"You'd better slow down old mate' said Wom 'we must be going at least 100 MPH already."
"Caynt tell' said Bill 'the speedometer don't work, either does the brakes."
"Put the gearstick in reverse" yelled Bonny.
"What gearstick ??" Said Bill.
Faster and faster they went until.................

Bonny's lasso

[kokopup]

WOMBAT

the road they went. Luckily for them there wasn't a sign saying "ROAD CLOSED UNDER CONSTRUCTION". If there had been, then they'd all have had to get out of Bills racing car and lift it to turn around, seeing that the stearing wheel never worked. So down the road they went...faster and faster and faster.
"You'd better slow down old mate' said Wom 'we must be going at least 100 MPH already."
"Caynt tell' said Bill 'the speedometer don't work, either does the brakes."
"Put the gearstick in reverse" yelled Bonny.
"What gearstick ??" Said Bill.
Faster and faster they went until.................as we were about to fly out into Flathead Lake. we were saved because of bonny's lasso. No, Bonny didn't lasso anything but unknown to us all, it was dangling out of Bill's trunk and luck would have it, just as we passed the sign saying, "slow danger ahead", the lasso caught that sign and sent us spinning into the parking lot at The Flathead lake. Everyone gave a big sigh of relief. Bill said, Boy that was to close for comfort. Elyse speaks up, "what about your invigorating dip," Bill. Bill says, well I was driving up to Missoula for a Bike trip on the Great Divide, when I came up on this very lot. Everyone was down on that pier jumping in and having a good time so I decided I needed a break. I put on my swin suit and walked right out and was ready to jump in when I decided to dip my toe in the water. Gad....That was the coldest water I had ever seen and there was no way I was going into that water. Not wanting to go back without a dip and not having the nerve to jump in, I just walked up to this kid and said "push me in", he said, what? I said, "PUSH ME IN!" and with that, him and his buddy proceed, and pushed me in. The minute I hit that water it took my breath, and I came out so fast I barely got wet. Brrrr that was the coldest water I had ever seen. And now the rest......


Paul Harvey.........................(Side note) the dip in the Lake is a true story but was on my way to Whitefish for a bike expedition on the Great Divide.

[kokopup]

Kokopup

.................as we were about to fly out into Flathead Lake. we were saved because of bonny's lasso. No, Bonny didn't lasso anything but unknown to us all, it was dangling out of Bill's trunk and luck would have it, just as we passed the sign saying, "slow danger ahead", the lasso caught that sign and sent us spinning into the parking lot at The Flathead lake. Everyone gave a big sigh of relief. Bill said, Boy that was to close for comfort. Elyse speaks up, "what about your invigorating dip," Bill. Bill says, well I was driving up to Missoula for a Bike trip on the Great Divide, when I came up on this very lot. Everyone was down on that pier jumping in and having a good time so I decided I needed a break. I put on my swin suit and walked right out and was ready to jump in when I decided to dip my toe in the water. Gad....That was the coldest water I had ever seen and there was no way I was going into that water. Not wanting to go back without a dip and not having the nerve to jump in, I just walked up to this kid and said "push me in", he said, what? I said, "PUSH ME IN!" and with that, him and his buddy proceed, and pushed me in. The minute I hit that water it took my breath, and I came out so fast I barely got wet. Brrrr that was the coldest water I had ever seen. And now the rest......[/QUOTE]
......... of the story. We have all heard that phrase from the Paul Harvey show on the radio. I say we all , Aussey's may not have a Paul Harvey.

Bill speaks up "Have we indeed heard the rest of the story?" Why did Bonny have a lasso in the trunk? Was she planning on tying Wom up and dumping his miserable carcass in the lake. What kind of underhanded plan does Elyse have, and Wom that ......

Rest of the story indeed.

[cassiesmom]

What kind of underhanded plan does Elyse have, and Wom, that smarty, well, he will steer clear!

Elyse laughs long and loud. "I don't do underhanded plans!" she announces. "I'm not that clever and I don't like to put something over on people! You thought I was going to spring the rest of the story on you at the last minute. The rest of the story, indeed! The rest of the story is that as long as we're heading for Montana, we have to hurry to see the glaciers of Glacier National Park! They are decreasing in size due to climate change. So get back in the car ... it doesn't matter that the speedometer is broken, because this is Montana. Step on it! We'll get the car fixed after we've seen the glaciers. Use your lasso to spin us out of the parking lot and onto the freeway, Bonny!"


balloon

[wombat2u2004]

What kind of underhanded plan does Elyse have, and Wom, that smarty, well, he will steer clear!

Elyse laughs long and loud. "I don't do underhanded plans!" she announces. "I'm not that clever and I don't like to put something over on people! You thought I was going to spring the rest of the story on you at the last minute. The rest of the story, indeed! The rest of the story is that as long as we're heading for Montana, we have to hurry to see the glaciers of Glacier National Park! They are decreasing in size due to climate change. So get back in the car ... it doesn't matter that the speedometer is broken, because this is Montana. Step on it! We'll get the car fixed after we've seen the glaciers. Use your lasso to spin us out of the parking lot and onto the freeway, Bonny!"

"But Bill wanted to go for a swim" Said Wom.
"Ahhh, don't worry about it. We should be heading to Montana. I'll have a swim when we get there." Said Bill.
Wom walks into the forest a little, and pulls his mobile phone out of his pocket, dials his mate Stan.
"Stan !!' Said Wom 'False alarm. Bill won't be swimming in the lake. So I won't send the signal balloon up today. We'll meet in Montana. The plan should go ahead there, as Bill wants to swim there. And Stan....DON'T FORGET THE PIRANHA."
Wom walks back to the others waiting in the car.
"Is everything ok Wom ??" Said Bill.
"Yeah, everything is ok Fishfood.....er...I mean Bill." Said Wom.

Badlands

[Bonny]

"But Bill wanted to go for a swim" Said Wom.
"Ahhh, don't worry about it. We should be heading to Montana. I'll have a swim when we get there." Said Bill.
Wom walks into the forest a little, and pulls his mobile phone out of his pocket, dials his mate Stan.
"Stan !!' Said Wom 'False alarm. Bill won't be swimming in the lake. So I won't send the signal balloon up today. We'll meet in Montana. The plan should go ahead there, as Bill wants to swim there. And Stan....DON'T FORGET THE PIRANHA."
Wom walks back to the others waiting in the car.
"Is everything ok Wom ??" Said Bill.
"Yeah, everything is ok Fishfood.....er...I mean Bill." Said Wom.

Badlands


The Badlands appeared a head & everyone was frothing at the mouth from lack of water. It was a hot miserable day with the wind blowing & no air conditioning. The trunk was full of warm Bud Light so Bill pulled into a ghost town so everyone could find some relief & opened up the trunk .......

Pepe Le Pew

[kokopup]

Bonny

The Badlands appeared a head & everyone was frothing at the mouth from lack of water. It was a hot miserable day with the wind blowing & no air conditioning. The trunk was full of warm Bud Light so Bill pulled into a ghost town so everyone could find some relief & opened up the trunk .......
....Bill says, "ok every body the trunk is open if anyone wants a warm beer." Elyse said "Pew what on earth is that smell, is Pepe Le Pew living in your trunk." "No",said Bill, " I think that is the stupid fish tank Wom has been hauling around since Iowa." Wom speaks up, " Is there a problem with my harmless tropical fish. Elyse, "No, Wom, but they definitely need some fresh water or something." Why on earth are you carrying them...

Yellowstone

[cassiesmom]

"Why on earth are you carrying them with us?"

Wom answers, "To refill the tank with water from Yellowstone, silly! It's such pure water!"

"Ohhh, I see," says Elyse, bluffing and wondering what's wrong with filtered tap water. "We need to find somewhere to get ice so we can chill the beer."

Wom explains, "The tropical fish need the purest water because..."


Salt Lake City

[wombat2u2004]

"Why on earth are you carrying them with us?"

Wom answers, "To refill the tank with water from Yellowstone, silly! It's such pure water!"

"Ohhh, I see," says Elyse, bluffing and wondering what's wrong with filtered tap water. "We need to find somewhere to get ice so we can chill the beer."

Wom explains, "The tropical fish need the purest water because..."

.....they are used to the good things in life, and they appreciate it."
"But Wom,' said Elyse 'how do you know the fish appreciate it ?"
"I just do !!!" Said Wom. "Besides, if you really want proof, then we'll have to drive to Salt Lake City where the local Shaman there will confirm it."
Just then, they all heard a thud. Turning around, they see that Bonny has fallen flat on her face.
"That's it.' said Wom 'Bonny's been guzzling the beer down again. She's drunk as usual."
"Typical bloody Iowan's" said Bill as....................

Raw egg and ketchup cocktail

[kokopup]

Wom

.....they are used to the good things in life, and they appreciate it."
"But Wom,' said Elyse 'how do you know the fish appreciate it ?"
"I just do !!!" Said Wom. "Besides, if you really want proof, then we'll have to drive to Salt Lake City where the local Shaman there will confirm it."
Just then, they all heard a thud. Turning around, they see that Bonny has fallen flat on her face.
"That's it.' said Wom 'Bonny's been guzzling the beer down again. She's drunk as usual."
"Typical bloody Iowan's" said Bill as....................usual we can count on Bonny to dispose of all the warm beer. If we don't get a raw egg and Ketchup cocktail down her she is going to be totally wasted. Warm beer will hit harder that the cold stuff. I don't know how Aussey like their beer but the limeys like it hot. If we are going to give her a raw egg and Ketchup cocktail, Wom, You need to digout one to your ostrich egg stash. We will be lucky if they are not already hard...




case of disappearing fish taik

[Bonny]

Wom
................usual we can count on Bonny to dispose of all the warm beer. If we don't get a raw egg and Ketchup cocktail down her she is going to be totally wasted. Warm beer will hit harder that the cold stuff. I don't know how Aussey like their beer but the limeys like it hot. If we are going to give her a raw egg and Ketchup cocktail, Wom, You need to digout one to your ostrich egg stash. We will be lucky if they are not already hard...




case of disappearing fish taik

and stinky smelling. "I'll pass on the cocktail", says Bonnie. Wombat stands with glazed eyes and a empty stupid look on his face. "Guys my fish tank is gone". "Its gone!!" "Dear God its gone". Bonnie thinks oh what a drama king. Bill & Alyse did you take my fish & tank? Bill speaks up. "This sounds like the case of the disappearing fish tank in a Stephen King novel. Fish that disappear & fall into a polluted radioactive steam & grow legs, arms, and ....

Frankenfish

[wombat2u2004]

and stinky smelling. "I'll pass on the cocktail", says Bonnie. Wombat stands with glazed eyes and a empty stupid look on his face. "Guys my fish tank is gone". "Its gone!!" "Dear God its gone". Bonnie thinks oh what a drama king. Bill & Alyse did you take my fish & tank? Bill speaks up. "This sounds like the case of the disappearing fish tank in a Stephen King novel. Fish that disappear & fall into a polluted radioactive steam & grow legs, arms, and ....

............tiny little weenies. We call them Frankenfish here in Alabama. What do they call them in Iowa Bonny ?"
"Breakfast" Said Bonny.
"And what do they call them in Chicago Elyse ?" Said Bill.
But Elyse wasn't listening, her thoughts were elsewhere, she was daydreaming of frivollicking with....................

Stephen King

[kokopup]

............tiny little weenies. We call them Frankenfish here in Alabama. What do they call them in Iowa Bonny ?"
"Breakfast" Said Bonny.
"And what do they call them in Chicago Elyse ?" Said Bill.
But Elyse wasn't listening, her thoughts were elsewhere, she was daydreaming of frivollicking with.................... ......Fabio on a deserted beach near Cannes. "Oh, ELyse are you there Elyse" says Bill. We we trying to find out what happened to all of Wom's fish." "Oh those silly things with the big teeth"says Elyse.
"They were giving me the willys, just swimming and showing big teeth, What on earth did you have those far Wom?"" they would definitely cast well in a Stephen King horror show". What sinister plan did you have Wom? I know you were...

Herman Munster
__________________

[wombat2u2004]

. ......Fabio on a deserted beach near Cannes. "Oh, ELyse are you there Elyse" says Bill. We we trying to find out what happened to all of Wom's fish." "Oh those silly things with the big teeth"says Elyse.
"They were giving me the willys, just swimming and showing big teeth, What on earth did you have those far Wom?"" they would definitely cast well in a Stephen King horror show". What sinister plan did you have Wom? I know you were...............

......talking to Herman Munster, the Governor of Illinois on your cell phone a day ago. Has this anything to do with those rachety jaw fish you've been hauling around ???"
"Kind of,' said Wom 'they are a brand new species of piranha that was thought to have gone extinct about 500 million years ago. I found them in a bucket of water behind Bonny's house, she's been breeding them and putting them into her still, to produce her Pleasant Valley Fish Liqueur. But so far, all of the wine tasters in her county have all died mysterious deaths."
"Leaping Lizards Wom' said Bill 'so you want Herman to instigate at Fishgate Liqueurgate ??"
"Not really' replied Wom 'I'd like one of these fish to be stuffed and mounted and put on display in the Smithsonian Museum of Dead Fish, for all to see, this generation and all future generations. Why, this extinct icon could become the next national symbol of your country. Imagine it Bill, a stuffed fish with a $3.99 tag hanging off it saying 'Bonny's Fine Liqueurs', stamped not only on your dollar bills, but on your postage stamps to."

Dead duck

[GrandChester]

......talking to Herman Munster, the Governor of Illinois on your cell phone a day ago. Has this anything to do with those rachety jaw fish you've been hauling around ???"
"Kind of,' said Wom 'they are a brand new species of piranha that was thought to have gone extinct about 500 million years ago. I found them in a bucket of water behind Bonny's house, she's been breeding them and putting them into her still, to produce her Pleasant Valley Fish Liqueur. But so far, all of the wine tasters in her county have all died mysterious deaths."
"Leaping Lizards Wom' said Bill 'so you want Herman to instigate at Fishgate Liqueurgate ??"
"Not really' replied Wom 'I'd like one of these fish to be stuffed and mounted and put on display in the Smithsonian Museum of Dead Fish, for all to see, this generation and all future generations. Why, this extinct icon could become the next national symbol of your country. Imagine it Bill, a stuffed fish with a $3.99 tag hanging off it saying 'Bonny's Fine Liqueurs', stamped not only on your dollar bills, but on your postage stamps to."

Dead duck


"Thats no problem, Wom" said Bill. Im laughing so hard at seeing that $3.99 price tag hanging from that rachety stuffed jawfish of yours!
I know stuffers that would love to induce that fish to the Smithsonian Museum Of Dead Fish. I got the number saved in my contacts here on my cell phone.
Bill ponders as he listens to the promps .."Wait til Bonny gets word of this"!
...."If you wish to speak to someone in our Dead Duck And Fish Dept. press 2 ....now"...
"I must say this about Bonnys Fine Liquer...it aint too bad after you get the first glass down..haha..snort.. snort! Did she say press 1 or 2? Oh, dang it! Scratches head...

Fish Out Of Water

[Bonny]

"Thats no problem, Wom" said Bill. Im laughing so hard at seeing that $3.99 price tag hanging from that rachety stuffed jawfish of yours!
I know stuffers that would love to induce that fish to the Smithsonian Museum Of Dead Fish. I got the number saved in my contacts here on my cell phone.
Bill ponders as he listens to the promps .."Wait til Bonny gets word of this"!
...."If you wish to speak to someone in our Dead Duck And Fish Dept. press 2 ....now"...
"I must say this about Bonnys Fine Liquer...it aint too bad after you get the first glass down..haha..snort.. snort! Did she say press 1 or 2? Oh, dang it! Scratches head...

Fish Out Of Water

which is very bald & accidentally drops the phone into Bonnys hand. "What do you tink you are doing sir Billy Bob?" says Bonny "WOM"!!!!!!! it was suppose to be a secret till you flapped your gator jaws". It is kind of like that Ivory Bill Woodpecker thing. I had planned to give talks, write books, sell t-shirts, caps, jewelery, & the fish Liqueur & donate all the proceeds to my favorite charity. Now I am like a fish out of water :eek: I tell yah what, I'll do & give you all ............



Bozo the Clown

[wombat2u2004]

which is very bald & accidentally drops the phone into Bonnys hand. "What do you tink you are doing sir Billy Bob?" says Bonny "WOM"!!!!!!! it was suppose to be a secret till you flapped your gator jaws". It is kind of like that Ivory Bill Woodpecker thing. I had planned to give talks, write books, sell t-shirts, caps, jewelery, & the fish Liqueur & donate all the proceeds to my favorite charity. Now I am like a fish out of water :eek: I tell yah what, I'll do & give you all ............

....a smack in the earhole for letting out my secret....and from now on, instead of referring to me as Miss Bonny, you can all call me Bozo the Clown."
"Well I must say' said Wom 'the name sort of suits you, but I have always thought you looked more like a midget version of The Joker in Batman."
"That's it !!!!' yelled Bozo the Clown 'Just because I'm pale and pallid and short and use green lipstick, you think you can call me what you want ??"
"Well' said Bill 'I thought you looked more like a very short New Guinea headhunter, and besides................

Feathered Fascinator

[GrandChester]

....a smack in the earhole for letting out my secret....and from now on, instead of referring to me as Miss Bonny, you can all call me Bozo the Clown."
"Well I must say' said Wom 'the name sort of suits you, but I have always thought you looked more like a midget version of The Joker in Batman."
"That's it !!!!' yelled Bozo the Clown 'Just because I'm pale and pallid and short and use green lipstick, you think you can call me what you want ??"
"Well' said Bill 'I thought you looked more like a very short New Guinea headhunter, and besides................

Feathered Fascinator

..."whats with all the clips and fancy braids and feathers in your hair, Bonny?" Bill asks.."You look like the Feathered Facinator"!
What do you know about fashion? asks Bonny
"Hes clueless...just look at him! laughs Wom
..."Bill, lets get a move on! I want to get my jawed beast to the museum" says Bonny.
"Bonny, can I drive this time"? asks Wom
Sure..better you than Bill..he nearly killed us all last time he drove" laughs Bonny
"Hrummph"..grumbled Bill..


The Washingon Monument

[cassiesmom]

"Hrummph," grumbled Bill. "Let's get the heck out of here. We have to get Bonny's Jawed Beast to the Smithsonian Museum of Dead Fish."

Elyse shouts, "I'm not riding in the car 3/4 of the way across the country. Take me to the airport, I'll catch a flight to Washington, D.C. I'll go to the Smithsonian and arrange for the Jawed Beast to be delivered, and then I'll go to the Washington Monument and look out at all the memorials and buildings. Would anyone like to join me?"

Mississippi River

[wombat2u2004]

"Hrummph," grumbled Bill. "Let's get the heck out of here. We have to get Bonny's Jawed Beast to the Smithsonian Museum of Dead Fish."

Elyse shouts, "I'm not riding in the car 3/4 of the way across the country. Take me to the airport, I'll catch a flight to Washington, D.C. I'll go to the Smithsonian and arrange for the Jawed Beast to be delivered, and then I'll go to the Washington Monument and look out at all the memorials and buildings. Would anyone like to join me?"

"Narp, not me.' Said Wom 'I've seen them all before, besides, I want to see the Mississippi River. Everyone here tells me it's at least 4 yards wide. Wow, big river."
"Well yahhh,' said Bill ' it's a bigger river than all of yours in Aus."
"Good God, stop bragging man !!!" Said Wom. "Now all get into the car, and we'll get going, and no smart remarks thankyou."
After a while of travelling down the road, Bonny senses something is wrong, and whispers something into Grandchesters ear. The word soon spreads to all of the passengers in the car, and they elect Bill as their spokesman.
"Errrrrr...Wom' said Bill 'I think yer drivin on the wrong side of the road"
"Bloody Hell' yells Wom 'I was wonderin why the steerin wheel is on the wrong side of the car."

Left is right

"

[GrandChester]

Bill explains..Left is RIGHT! Only not on this vehicle, Wom! My car is in the shop. "Remember the brakes went out on our last excursion"?!
"This is the mail van I borrowed from CassiesMom.
"Should we be delivering mail? asks Bonny.
"No.. says Bill, Its in semi-retirement at the moment. So we have it for as long as need be.
I guess after we get this ugly fish inducted, we could go see the Mighty Mississippi!
GrandChester chimes in.."No, Bonny & I have been there, seen that! Sorry, Wom. Admit it.. you just wanna go fishing again. I was thinking about...

Celine Dion

[cassiesmom]

I was thinking about continuing on to Las Vegas, since we are in the western U.S. already. We could see Celine Dion in concert.

Elyse says, "How about this, I'll fly to DC with the Jawed Beast, and you all can head west. This mail van I borrowed rides really rough, by the way. Let's swap it for a limousine to make your trip more comfortable. We can reconnect somewhere along the Mississippi River."

chauffeur

[GrandChester]

I was thinking about continuing on to Las Vegas, since we are in the western U.S. already. We could see Celine Dion in concert.

Elyse says, "How about this, I'll fly to DC with the Jawed Beast, and you all can head west. This mail van I borrowed rides really rough, by the way. Let's swap it for a limousine to make your trip more comfortable. We can reconnect somewhere along the Mississippi River."

chauffeur

"Thats a good idea Cassie! I woud love to see Celine in Vegas! What a mind reader you are"! GrandChester laughs.
As far as a limo...Hmmmm. We can all pull our money and make this happen!
Hey, Bill! shouts Wom, "doesn't the owner of Chauffer Unlimited owe you a big, big, favor?
"Well, I did do all that landscaping for his Penthouse Suite". Replied Bill.
Im sure he would cut us a good deal.
Meanwhile we arrive at the airport with Cassie and the Jawed Beast in her carry on.
"What the?..step aside Ma'am" says the security guard. I dont know what we are seeing on the x-ray scan of your carry on but...

shower curtain rings

[wombat2u2004]

"Thats a good idea Cassie! I woud love to see Celine in Vegas! What a mind reader you are"! GrandChester laughs.
As far as a limo...Hmmmm. We can all pull our money and make this happen!
Hey, Bill! shouts Wom, "doesn't the owner of Chauffer Unlimited owe you a big, big, favor?
"Well, I did do all that landscaping for his Penthouse Suite". Replied Bill.
Im sure he would cut us a good deal.
Meanwhile we arrive at the airport with Cassie and the Jawed Beast in her carry on.
"What the?..step aside Ma'am" says the security guard. I dont know what we are seeing on the x-ray scan of your carry on but...

.....it sure looks like a real mess in there. I think we'd better check your bag madam."
Elyse carries her bag to the inspection table and opens it up.
"Hmmmmm, what have we here ?' said the security guard 'a stethoscope. So what is this for?"
"I always have that with me' said Elyse 'because my boyfriend and I like to play doctors."
"And what else do we have here ?' continues the guard ' Some shower curtain rings, an old broken clock, a half eaten Easter egg, two pens and a stapler. What do you use all of this junk for ?"
"I told you,' said Elyse 'my boyfriend and I like to play doctors."
"And what the.....' yells the guard 'a fish !!! A dead fish in a plastic bag !! I'm sorry madam, but we can't let you on board with these...............

Weapons of Mass Destruction

[sana]

I haven't been here since a loooooooong time! :eek::D
---------------------------------------------------------

.....it sure looks like a real mess in there. I think we'd better check your bag madam."
Elyse carries her bag to the inspection table and opens it up.
"Hmmmmm, what have we here ?' said the security guard 'a stethoscope. So what is this for?"
"I always have that with me' said Elyse 'because my boyfriend and I like to play doctors."
"And what else do we have here ?' continues the guard ' Some shower curtain rings, an old broken clock, a half eaten Easter egg, two pens and a stapler. What do you use all of this junk for ?"
"I told you,' said Elyse 'my boyfriend and I like to play doctors."
"And what the.....' yells the guard 'a fish !!! A dead fish in a plastic bag !! I'm sorry madam, but we can't let you on board with these...............

......are serious weapons of mass destruction!
Elyse worried says, "But, how? My boyfriend and I just play doctor... :( "
the guard replies, " Sorry ma'am, but, you could make a person deaf by plugging in the stethoscope in their ears and yelling loud from the other side, and you could kill them with the stink of the dead fish..sorry but,........

jail

[wombat2u2004]

......are serious weapons of mass destruction! Elyse worried says, "But, how? My boyfriend and I just play doctor... :( "
the guard replies, " Sorry ma'am, but, you could make a person deaf by plugging in the stethoscope in their ears and yelling loud from the other side, and you could kill them with the stink of the dead fish..sorry but,........


.......you'll have to go straight to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200."
"But what'll happen to the fish ?" Said Elyse.
"We've got a stray cat that lives here in the airport, we'll give him it for dinner" said the guard. With that the guard yells out "...............

Shirley the stray cat

[Bonny]

.......you'll have to go straight to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200."
"But what'll happen to the fish ?" Said Elyse.
"We've got a stray cat that lives here in the airport, we'll give him it for dinner" said the guard. With that the guard yells out "...............

Shirley the stray cat

kitty, kitty & Shirley the stray cat shows up switching her scraggly tail & licking her chops. But unbeknownst to everyone Shirley snubs her nose at the fish. Elyse immediately falls in love with the fur ball Shirley & offers to adopt Shirley & give her a good home if the guards will release her & the deal is made right there on the spot .......

Viva Las Vegas

[kokopup]

kitty, kitty & Shirley the stray cat shows up switching her scraggly tail & licking her chops. But unbeknownst to everyone Shirley snubs her nose at the fish. Elyse immediately falls in love with the fur ball Shirley & offers to adopt Shirley & give her a good home if the guards will release her & the deal is made right there on the spot ....... and at first it appears that Elyse will be able to board the plane. "But wait", said Elyse, "why am I boarding a plane to Washington with my Cat Shirley"? I should be going to Vega to hear that Great Elvis Impersonator sing Viva Las Vegas". I think this should be Bonny carrying the fish not me. Wom speaks up, I think we can all forget the flight and take the...

Chattanooga choo choo

[GrandChester]

and at first it appears that Elyse will be able to board the plane. "But wait", said Elyse, "why am I boarding a plane to Washington with my Cat Shirley"? I should be going to Vega to hear that Great Elvis Impersonator sing Viva Las Vegas". I think this should be Bonny carrying the fish not me. Wom speaks up, I think we can all forget the flight and take the...

Chattanooga choo choo


Hold your horses everyone! says Bill. I just spoke to head of security. The airport staff loves Shirley the cat and cant stand to see her go. They have agreed to drop any charges. They have also properly packed Woms Jawed Beast on ice. Hes on his way to the National Museum Of Fish!

I guess I am going to have to put my foot down! Bill said.

"With a show of hands...who wants to see Celene Dion and the Elvis Impersonator in Vegas?

Ok... its unanimous...Viva Las Vegas!

GrandChester runs over with train tickets in hand.
Whats this? asks Wom.

Tickets to board the Chattanooga ChooChoo! laughs GrandChester

Well blow me down! Does this mean what I think it means? asks Koko excitedly

Graceland

[wombat2u2004]

Hold your horses everyone! says Bill. I just spoke to head of security. The airport staff loves Shirley the cat and cant stand to see her go. They have agreed to drop any charges. They have also properly packed Woms Jawed Beast on ice. Hes on his way to the National Museum Of Fish!

I guess I am going to have to put my foot down! Bill said.

"With a show of hands...who wants to see Celene Dion and the Elvis Impersonator in Vegas?

Ok... its unanimous...Viva Las Vegas!

GrandChester runs over with train tickets in hand.
Whats this? asks Wom.

Tickets to board the Chattanooga ChooChoo! laughs GrandChester

Well blow me down! Does this mean what I think it means? asks Koko excitedly



"Relax.' said Wom 'I've just heard that the Chattanooga Choo Choo has been grounded due to greenhouse gas and global warming concerns. The only way we can reverse that is to go to Al Gore's house nextdoor to Graceland, and plead our case with him."
"So who will be our spokesperson?" Said Bonny.
"I will' said Grand Chester 'I know all about science and gasses and chemicals and stuff. Why, it was only yesterday that I was cleaning my kitchen sink with a chemical."
"Bill !!!' Said Elyse "Would you stop crying ?? We'll eventually get to Las Vegas. Would someone give him some tissues ?? I can't stand his blubbering."
"Booooooohoooooohooooo...'wailed Bill 'I wanna see Celine, I wanna see Celine, sob sob."
"Well, we'll just have to think of something else" Said Wom.

Bicycle Store

[Bonny]

"Relax.' said Wom 'I've just heard that the Chattanooga Choo Choo has been grounded due to greenhouse gas and global warming concerns. The only way we can reverse that is to go to Al Gore's house nextdoor to Graceland, and plead our case with him."
"So who will be our spokesperson?" Said Bonny.
"I will' said Grand Chester 'I know all about science and gasses and chemicals and stuff. Why, it was only yesterday that I was cleaning my kitchen sink with a chemical."
"Bill !!!' Said Elyse "Would you stop crying ?? We'll eventually get to Las Vegas. Would someone give him some tissues ?? I can't stand his blubbering."
"Booooooohoooooohooooo...'wailed Bill 'I wanna see Celine, I wanna see Celine, sob sob."
"Well, we'll just have to think of something else" Said Wom.

Bicycle Store

" Bill you are such a big cry baby" Says Bonnie. "There's a Bicycle Store I saw up the street." Said Alyse. "Why don't we head up there & buy a couple of bikes & helmets & bike to Graceland!" They have tricycles for the inexperienced, dirt bikes for the sporty, mountain bikes for the challenged, & tandem bikes for lazy chickens. "That sounds like a good idea says Bill, after he uses 3 farm hankies to blow his big red nose." " I ......


training wheels

[kokopup]

" Bill you are such a big cry baby" Says Bonnie. "There's a Bicycle Store I saw up the street." Said Alyse. "Why don't we head up there & buy a couple of bikes & helmets & bike to Graceland!" They have tricycles for the inexperienced, dirt bikes for the sporty, mountain bikes for the challenged, & tandem bikes for lazy chickens. "That sounds like a good idea says Bill, after he uses 3 farm hankies to blow his big red nose." " I ......


training wheels .... think biking to Graceland is an excellent Idea. Bonny i want you to understand something before we are in front of a salesman at the Bike store. Three wheelers or tricycle for those not savy with bike lingo do not need training wheels. I will be getting a full suspension Bike like the one I have at home. Elyse what pedals are in your future. Maybe you and GrandChester can do a tandem. we might even..

Natchez trace.

[wombat2u2004]

.... think biking to Graceland is an excellent Idea. Bonny i want you to understand something before we are in front of a salesman at the Bike store. Three wheelers or tricycle for those not savy with bike lingo do not need training wheels. I will be getting a full suspension Bike like the one I have at home. Elyse what pedals are in your future. Maybe you and GrandChester can do a tandem. we might even..

....let Wom ride in an electric moped behind us. I think we should travel along the Natchez trace. What do you think Wom ?"
"Who cares ?' Said Wom. A road, a track, a natchez trace, a laneway. Whatever. As long as I can ride in my moped, and store Bonny's booze stash in the back so she can't sneak a drink every mile, I don't care a less if it's a natchez trace or a Siberian trace. Ok, lets get going. Ladies first."
"Lets have some music Wom" Said Bill.
Wom switches on the radio in the moped, and they all head off to the beat of Queens "Fat Bottom Girls They Make the Rockin' World Go Round".

Tornado

[cassiesmom]

Wom switches on the radio in the moped, and they head off to the beat of Queen.

Elyse falls behind almost immediately. The group notices this and goes back to where she is standing on the side of the road with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can't ride a bicycle from Las Vegas to Memphis!" she wails while Brian May and Freddie Mercury harmonize. "I was almost on an airplane, but the gate agents inspected someone else's bag, thought it was mine and wouldn't let me board! That was a good stethoscope they confiscated, too- a Littmann. Go on without me, because I can't do this. If I can't fly, then I'll have to rent a car. Or ride a train. Or maybe a tornado will swoop me up and drop me in Tennessee."

Everyone laughs heartily at this. "Elyse, that's so silly! You can't have a tornado in the Nevada Desert!" they shout.


bang a gong

[kokopup]

Everyone laughs heartily at this. "Elyse, that's so silly! You can't have a tornado in the Nevada Desert!" they shout......I guess you're right, said Elyse. With my luck it would drop me in Idaho or Wyoming anyway." Bill speaks up,
'Elyse why not tuff it out a little longer , we can make a little side trip to the Grand Canyon. If you still want a plane trip. You have every ones permission to take my Prospectors shovel and wallop Wom like you would bang a gong." "Why hit Wom",ask Elyse, Well he is the one with the scooter, said Bill, "One good wallop and he will just zip you right to.......

Hell's Angels

[cassiesmom]

he is the one with the scooter, said Bill, "One good wallop and he will just zip you right to.......

who knows where?

Elyse says, "No, thanks. I'd probably land right on my backside in the center of the Las Vegas strip during rush hour. But I'd love to see the Grand Canyon! Turn up the volume, Wom, and let's get going. We're going to Graceland by way of the Grand Canyon!" She pushes off and gets the bicycle moving to gain a bit of a head start.

Just then: RRRRRRRRROAR! A group of Hell's Angels on motorcycles goes by...


jubilation

[kokopup]

Just then: RRRRRRRRROAR! A group of Hell's Angels on motorcycles goes by.......on their way to the sin city. Bill yells above the roar, Just play it cool and maybe they will go their own way" Bonny speaks in a half wimper, " but the guy on that last hog was kinda cute." Wom retorts, 'Bonny you wouldn't know cute if it smacked you in the face." Besides we have had enough trouble already. Elyse, mudders, Grand Canyon we were going to the Grand Canyon. Ok Ok, says Bill, "The grand Canyon It is, why have you been so quite GrandChester. GrandChester speaks, " Friends there will be Grand jubilation on my part if we eeVER get there, this infernal bicycle seat has rubbed.........


canyon ride
__________________

[Bonny]

....on their way to the sin city. Bill yells above the roar, Just play it cool and maybe they will go their own way" Bonny speaks in a half wimper, " but the guy on that last hog was kinda cute." Wom retorts, 'Bonny you wouldn't know cute if it smacked you in the face." Besides we have had enough trouble already. Elyse, mudders, Grand Canyon we were going to the Grand Canyon. Ok Ok, says Bill, "The grand Canyon It is, why have you been so quite GrandChester. GrandChester speaks, " Friends there will be Grand jubilation on my part if we eeVER get there, this infernal bicycle seat has rubbed.........


canyon ride
__________________

the hide right off of my buttocks. "What you need is some Monkey Butt Powder." Said Bonnie This Canyon ride seems to be taking its toll on everyone. You city slickers are going to have to toughen up & suck it in. Now lets ride em out & head em up . . . . .

Wolf Creek Pass

[kokopup]

the hide right off of my buttocks. "What you need is some Monkey Butt Powder." Said Bonnie This Canyon ride seems to be taking its toll on everyone. You city slickers are going to have to toughen up & suck it in. Now lets ride em out & head em up . . . . ......raw hide. Bill chimes in again, Listen everyone if we make the canyon by tomorrow maybe we can just go on up and pick the great divide mountain bike route. After we see the canyon there is a WHOLE lot of boring riding to Memphis, but the ride up the Great Divide route is beautiful. If we ride up to Wolf Creek Pass and on to Salida we can pick up the route there. I have lead 4 groups from Steam Boat to Salida but have never ridden it going north. There is a Buffalo ranch in South Park that cooks up some outstanding buffalo burgers for special guest. Lets have a show of hands.....

Breckenridge

[wombat2u2004]

.....raw hide. Bill chimes in again, Listen everyone if we make the canyon by tomorrow maybe we can just go on up and pick the great divide mountain bike route. After we see the canyon there is a WHOLE lot of boring riding to Memphis, but the ride up the Great Divide route is beautiful. If we ride up to Wolf Creek Pass and on to Salida we can pick up the route there. I have lead 4 groups from Steam Boat to Salida but have never ridden it going north. There is a Buffalo ranch in South Park that cooks up some outstanding buffalo burgers for special guest. Lets have a show of hands.....

.....to see who wants a buffalo burger at South Park"
Everyone sticks their hands up, except Bonny.
"Do they have Prairie Dog Burgers ?" Said Bonny.
"No !!!' Said Wom 'What is this ??? A bloody smorgasbord or something ? You can only get Prairie Dog Burgers in Breckenridge. If you want to come with us, you'll have to settle for a Buffalo Burger."
"Can I have fries with that?" Said Elyse.
"I wanna chocolate shake" Said Bill.
"What about a frozen coke ? Do they have frozen cokes there Wom ??" Said Grand Chester.
"Shaddup you lot !!' Yells Wom 'If they had all of that stuff, it would be be called McBuffalo Ranch at McSouth Park wouldn't it ??? Here comes someone along the road now from South Park, you can all ask him."

Cartman

[kokopup]

.....to see who wants a buffalo burger at South Park"
Everyone sticks their hands up, except Bonny.
"Do they have Prairie Dog Burgers ?" Said Bonny.
"No !!!' Said Wom 'What is this ??? A bloody smorgasbord or something ? You can only get Prairie Dog Burgers in Breckenridge. If you want to come with us, you'll have to settle for a Buffalo Burger."
"Can I have fries with that?" Said Elyse.
"I wanna chocolate shake" Said Bill.
"What about a frozen coke ? Do they have frozen cokes there Wom ??" Said Grand Chester.
"Shaddup you lot !!' Yells Wom 'If they had all of that stuff, it would be be called McBuffalo Ranch at McSouth Park wouldn't it ??? Here comes someone along the road now from South Park, you can all ask him."Grandchester arms waving, "Hello someone from South park." "do you know if they have frozen coke at the Buffalo ranch in South Park". Man from South Park answers. " yes I do know." "No young man, all they have is frozen Pepsi". Oh Darn" says, Chester not feeling very Grand. You can get a frozen coke over in Breckenridge. Just take the South Park express over Boreas Pass. Chester ask." do you know Eric Cartman"
Man answers, "Sure thing young man everybody in the South park......

Camping on Lake Dillon

[Bonny]

Grandchester arms waving, "Hello someone from South park." "do you know if they have frozen coke at the Buffalo ranch in South Park". Man from South Park answers. " yes I do know." "No young man, all they have is frozen Pepsi". Oh Darn" says, Chester not feeling very Grand. You can get a frozen coke over in Breckenridge. Just take the South Park express over Boreas Pass. Chester ask." do you know Eric Cartman"
Man answers, "Sure thing young man everybody in the South park......

Camping on Lake Dillon

Camping on Lake Dillon knows Eric Cartman. He cleans outhouses with a tooth brush for the park service along with greeting the guests & putting pennies in the electric outlets when the fuses blow he is now . . . .

Doctorate Degree

[kokopup]

Camping on Lake Dillon knows Eric Cartman. He cleans outhouses with a tooth brush for the park service along with greeting the guests & putting pennies in the electric outlets when the fuses blow he is now . . . . ...an impessive example of our younger generation. I can see him getting a Doctorate Degree in outhouse maintenance or some other lucrative endeaver. Where are you guys going if I might ask. Chester speaks up," to Breckenridge to get a frozen coke." Bill speaks up, he is just a little off today, No really we hope to be in South Park tomorrow maybe." Elyse speaks up, "Wait , hold that thought. I haven't agreed to this venture up the Great Divide." Wom interrupts, " are you still set on flying to Memphis." I certainly haven't been walloped with Bill's shovel. What exactly is your....


Bee in bonnet

[GrandChester]

...an impessive example of our younger generation. I can see him getting a Doctorate Degree in outhouse maintenance or some other lucrative endeaver. Where are you guys going if I might ask. Chester speaks up," to Breckenridge to get a frozen coke." Bill speaks up, he is just a little off today, No really we hope to be in South Park tomorrow maybe." Elyse speaks up, "Wait , hold that thought. I haven't agreed to this venture up the Great Divide." Wom interrupts, " are you still set on flying to Memphis." I certainly haven't been walloped with Bill's shovel. What exactly is your....


Bee in bonnet


...flight plan, Elyse? asks Wom. "I seem to think a good slap in the earhole will clear some cobwebs. "We all are gonna have to use some pedal power to get anywhere! Bill just heard this on MopedRockRadio that all travel has been GROUNDED. Arrggh this GreenHouse gas.
"Oh noooooo whaaaa"...sobs Elyse.
"For cryin out loud Elyse...we aren't asking you to bike it NON-STOP. We will break as much as you need. Here... get off your butt & apply some Monkey Butt talc. Does the cheeks wonders! Cassie snickers as she puts on her bike gear.

"Geesh you act like one with a bee in bonnet! says GrandChester.
When all this craze about greenhouse gas subsides you can still hop a flight out at the next airport. So heres bottled water for everyone..complements of Al & Tipper!

Cow tippin'

[Bonny]

...flight plan, Elyse? asks Wom. "I seem to think a good slap in the earhole will clear some cobwebs. "We all are gonna have to use some pedal power to get anywhere! Bill just heard this on MopedRockRadio that all travel has been GROUNDED. Arrggh this GreenHouse gas.
"Oh noooooo whaaaa"...sobs Elyse.
"For cryin out loud Elyse...we aren't asking you to bike it NON-STOP. We will break as much as you need. Here... get off your butt & apply some Monkey Butt talc. Does the cheeks wonders! Cassie snickers as she puts on her bike gear.

"Geesh you act like one with a bee in bonnet! says GrandChester.
When all this craze about greenhouse gas subsides you can still hop a flight out at the next airport. So heres bottled water for everyone..complements of Al & Tipper!

Cow tippin'

"I wonder if the water is organic" says Elyse. " Bill I know a short cut up over Cinnamon Pass." Bonny we know about your short cuts that turn into long cuts. Really I have been up to Cinnamon Pass what a view & we can free wheel down off the switch backs once we get up there. There are cows up there with legs shorter on one side then the other & we can do some Cow tippin while we are up there. What do you all say are you game for a GREAT ADVENTURE ?????????????????????????????????


Happy Trails

[happylabs]

"I wonder if the water is organic" says Elyse. " Bill I know a short cut up over Cinnamon Pass." Bonny we know about your short cuts that turn into long cuts. Really I have been up to Cinnamon Pass what a view & we can free wheel down off the switch backs once we get up there. There are cows up there with legs shorter on one side then the other & we can do some Cow tippin while we are up there. What do you all say are you game for a GREAT ADVENTURE ?????????????????????????????????


Happy Trails

From a far distance they hear someone singing "Happy Trails to youuuuuuu". They hear a rustling noise in the bushes and out jumps Helen wearing a shiny silver evening gown and carrying a bottle of champagne in one hand and a champagne glass in the other. She is staggering around and only wearing one shoe. Her hair which is styled in a chignon has leaves and sticks in it. Following her is ....


"Gilligan's Island"

[GrandChester]

From a far distance they hear someone singing "Happy Trails to youuuuuuu". They hear a rustling noise in the bushes and out jumps Helen wearing a shiny silver evening gown and carrying a bottle of champagne in one hand and a champagne glass in the other. She is staggering around and only wearing one shoe. Her hair which is styled in a chignon has leaves and sticks in it. Following her is ....


"Gilligan's Island"

...GrandChester in pigtails and Wom in a goofy fishing hat.
"Looks as if you 3 just stepped off the set of Gilligans Island" laughs Bill
Helen where on earth is your other shoe? asks Bonnie
More rustling comes from the bushes...out comes a little black bear cub with a shoe in its mouth.
"Well, mystery solved, Helen"! chuckles Bonnie.
"Helen forget that shoe and run for the hills...theres Momma bear and she looks very TICKED OFF"! screams HappyLabs.

Threes Company

[cassiesmom]

There's Momma Bear and she looks very ticked off!

"Maybe one too many bears tried to fit into her den," says Elyse. "Three's company -- four's too many!"

The baby bear is still carrying the shoe and suddenly...

Bellagio

[kokopup]

There's Momma Bear and she looks very ticked off!

"Maybe one too many bears tried to fit into her den," says Elyse. "Three's company -- four's too many!"

The baby bear is still carrying the shoe and suddenly... Elyse grabs Bill's shovel and lays one on Wom big time. It sounded like there might have been something knocked loose or maybe it was already loose and it just mover some.
'I'm fed up with bears and wild men'. said Elyse

Wom, while still on the ground, ask what in the world was that, "Elyse, you got a problem. Elyse speaks, "I need a ride to the closest airport. I was able to get a signal, on my Blackberry, so I made reservations at Bellagio back in Vegas. WOM upset " I thought your heart was set on Memphis and now you want to go back to Sin City. Have you met true love or are you just overwhelmed with cash. At this rate we will see you.......

marriage chapel
__________________

[cassiesmom]

" I thought your heart was set on Memphis and now you want to go back to Sin City. Have you met true love or are you just overwhelmed with cash. At this rate we will see you......."

At this rate, we will see you losing money in the casinos faster than you can say Brad Pitt!

At that Elyse says, "Brad Pitt? Where? At the Bellagio?" She pulls Wom off the ground. "Hurry, Wom! Start your moped! There's been a Brad Pitt sighting at the Bellagio! Maybe it's Ocean's Fourteen! Let's go see if any woman can coax him into a marriage chapel! I'm sorry about the shovel and thank goodness it was only a Nerf shovel or you'd still be on the ground."

"Elyse, are you kidding? He's married to Angelina Jolie!" laugh all the others. "He's already spoken for! Forget the marriage chapel."

The baby bear drops Helen's shoe and runs back to his mom. They return to the woods. The shoe is picked up by ...

mutts like Heinzer

[Bonny]

At this rate, we will see you losing money in the casinos faster than you can say Brad Pitt!

At that Elyse says, "Brad Pitt? Where? At the Bellagio?" She pulls Wom off the ground. "Hurry, Wom! Start your moped! There's been a Brad Pitt sighting at the Bellagio! Maybe it's Ocean's Fourteen! Let's go see if any woman can coax him into a marriage chapel! I'm sorry about the shovel and thank goodness it was only a Nerf shovel or you'd still be on the ground."

"Elyse, are you kidding? He's married to Angelina Jolie!" laugh all the others. "He's already spoken for! Forget the marriage chapel."

The baby bear drops Helen's shoe and runs back to his mom. They return to the woods. The shoe is picked up by ...

mutts like Heinzer

what looked like a brindle colored great dane, terrier, hound, poodle X. One of those mutts like Heinzer. The Heinzer went over to Elyse with his right ear up & his left floppy ear down, wagging his 5 foot long tail & sat down in front of Elyse with her shoe. Heinzers tail was wagging & the dust was flying up all over the place. It was like a propeller on a helicopter .......

Shoo fly

[GrandChester]

what looked like a brindle colored great dane, terrier, hound, poodle X. One of those mutts like Heinzer. The Heinzer went over to Elyse with his right ear up & his left floppy ear down, wagging his 5 foot long tail & sat down in front of Elyse with her shoe. Heinzers tail was wagging & the dust was flying up all over the place. It was like a propeller on a helicopter .......

Shoo fly

"Looks like Heinzers about to take off! laughs Wom..look at that propeller tail stir up this dust..now shoo fly!

"What? Who made shoo fly pie"? asks a drunken Helen.

Theres no shoo fly pie, Helen..have another drink...you lush! GrandChester says jokingly.

Wheres Brad Pitt? asks Helen.

Hes filming Oceans 14 in Vegas, silly!

shark attack

[Bonny]

"Looks like Heinzers about to take off! laughs Wom..look at that propeller tail stir up this dust..now shoo fly!

"What? Who made shoo fly pie"? asks a drunken Helen.

Theres no shoo fly pie, Helen..have another drink...you lush! GrandChester says jokingly.

Wheres Brad Pitt? asks Helen.

Hes filming Oceans 14 in Vegas, silly!

shark attack

Bradley is busy fending off a shark attack while Julia watches all the kids.
Helen you need to sober up with a good brimming cup of cowboy coffee.
We can use Wom's bike helmet and Grandchester you can light a fire .......

Stinky Socks

[wombat2u2004]

Bradley is busy fending off a shark attack while Julia watches all the kids.
Helen you need to sober up with a good brimming cup of cowboy coffee.
We can use Wom's bike helmet and Grandchester you can light a fire .......


.........by rubbing those two little sticks together."
"But we don't have any coffee beans" Said Wom.
"No worries' Said Bonny 'I've got a pair of stinky socks on that I haven't taken off for a few months, we can dip those in the hot water, and at least it will LOOK like coffee."
I've got a better idea' Said Bill ' RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN before she takes them off"
Everyone runs for the hills, leaving Bonny to take her socks off, and Elyse waiting for her coffee.
"Wait a minute.' Said Elyse 'What are those little yellowish crispy things floating around in my coffee?"
"Hmmmmm' Said Bonny 'I think they are.................

http://img1.imagehousing.com/50/af2ef43f1405c9b4ed4be8b9978d36c5.jpg (http://www.imagehousing.com/image/789217)

Flaky bunions

[Bonny]

.........by rubbing those two little sticks together."
"But we don't have any coffee beans" Said Wom.
"No worries' Said Bonny 'I've got a pair of stinky socks on that I haven't taken off for a few months, we can dip those in the hot water, and at least it will LOOK like coffee."
I've got a better idea' Said Bill ' RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN before she takes them off"
Everyone runs for the hills, leaving Bonny to take her socks off, and Elyse waiting for her coffee.
"Wait a minute.' Said Elyse 'What are those little yellowish crispy things floating around in my coffee?"
"Hmmmmm' Said Bonny 'I think they are.................

http://img1.imagehousing.com/50/af2ef43f1405c9b4ed4be8b9978d36c5.jpg (http://www.imagehousing.com/image/789217)

Flaky bunions

delicious morel mushrooms that will make you relax & sleepy even though they may look like Flaky bunions. Come back you idiots! I washed my feet last year not to worry I used a bunch of Monkey Butt powder to keep my feet smelling .........


pine forest

[GrandChester]

delicious morel mushrooms that will make you relax & sleepy even though they may look like Flaky bunions. Come back you idiots! I washed my feet last year not to worry I used a bunch of Monkey Butt powder to keep my feet smelling .........


pine forest
...monkey butt fresh with a twist of fresh pine needles from a pine forest!
"Geesh, Helen you are beginning to worry me"! says GrandChester. We willl never get to Vegas with the lot of you making bad decisions like the jury in the Casey Anthony case". Yes we all want to go home!
"Now who parked the darn moped so close to that cliff "Nooooooo" yells Wom. "Its lost its grip and down the cliff it goes!
Helen cries out " That was my last bottle of spirits in the saddle bag of that moped!

4th of July

[wombat2u2004]

...monkey butt fresh with a twist of fresh pine needles from a pine forest!
"Geesh, Helen you are beginning to worry me"! says GrandChester. We willl never get to Vegas with the lot of you making bad decisions like the jury in the Casey Anthony case". Yes we all want to go home!
"Now who parked the darn moped so close to that cliff "Nooooooo" yells Wom. "Its lost its grip and down the cliff it goes!
Helen cries out " That was my last bottle of spirits in the saddle bag of that moped!

The moped plumetted down and down, until finally it struck the ground, bursting into flames and exploding like the firecrackers on the 4th of July.
"Good God' Said Wom 'What kind of spirits have you been drinking Helen ?? That stuff went up like jet fuel"
"I got it from Bill" Said Helen. "Besides, it tastes better than Bonny's Stinky Sock Coffee with Morel Mushrooms."

Bonnys Magical Mushroom Recipe

[Bonny]

The moped plumetted down and down, until finally it struck the ground, bursting into flames and exploding like the firecrackers on the 4th of July.
"Good God' Said Wom 'What kind of spirits have you been drinking Helen ?? That stuff went up like jet fuel"
"I got it from Bill" Said Helen. "Besides, it tastes better than Bonny's Stinky Sock Coffee with Morel Mushrooms."

Bonnys Magical Mushroom Recipe

I would like Bonnys Magical Mushroom Recipe says a stranger as he walks up to the group of misfit travelers. It is none other then the handsome Bradley Pitt. Helen is all goo goo eyed, her handsome prince has arrived in a black limo. How would you all like to jump into my limo & I'll give you a free ride to Vegas. Helen was the first one in of course & had to sit next to Bradley.


Stick Um Up

[happylabs]

I would like Bonnys Magical Mushroom Recipe says a stranger as he walks up to the group of misfit travelers. It is none other then the handsome Bradley Pitt. Helen is all goo goo eyed, her handsome prince has arrived in a black limo. How would you all like to jump into my limo & I'll give you a free ride to Vegas. Helen was the first one in of course & had to sit next to Bradley.


Stick Um Up


As Helen jumps in, she realizes Jennifer Aniston is sitting in the limo and Jen says "stick um up"! You people are all crazy. I just kidnapped Brad to have back and all to myself. What do you think you are doing...

"ostrich"

[cassiesmom]

As Helen jumps in, she realizes Jennifer Aniston is sitting in the limo and Jen says "stick um up"! You people are all crazy. I just kidnapped Brad to have back and all to myself. What do you think you are doing...

"ostrich"

"What do you think you are doing? Get away from my man! Be like an ostrich and run, run, run!" Jennifer puts her arm around Brad possessively.

Brad interrupts. "Wait a second, I still need Bonny's Magical Mushroom recipe!"

Las Vegas

[wombat2u2004]

"What do you think you are doing? Get away from my man! Be like an ostrich and run, run, run!" Jennifer puts her arm around Brad possessively.

Brad interrupts. "Wait a second, I still need Bonny's Magical Mushroom recipe!"


"And I need it now, so Jen and I can drive back to Las Vegas for a dirty weekend without Angie finding out"
"Ah forget that skinny little twerp' said Elyse 'Jens not good enough for you Brad Honey. Take me with you for the dirty weekend."
"NO !!!!' Yelled Bonny 'Take me Brad, I'm dirtier than Elyse, I've got stinky socks to prove it."
"Nope, he'll take me to Vegas' said Helen 'I'm dirtier than..............

Mud wrestling

[GrandChester]

"And I need it now, so Jen and I can drive back to Las Vegas for a dirty weekend without Angie finding out"
"Ah forget that skinny little twerp' said Elyse 'Jens not good enough for you Brad Honey. Take me with you for the dirty weekend."
"NO !!!!' Yelled Bonny 'Take me Brad, I'm dirtier than Elyse, I've got stinky socks to prove it."
"Nope, he'll take me to Vegas' said Helen 'I'm dirtier than..............

Mud wrestling


gulp..."I'd rather be mud wrestling with a bunch of Sumo wrestlers than eat that mushroom concoction Bonnie made...says GrandChester.

"Oh Bradley, I know its hard to choose which stinky woman is best for the dirty romantic weekend" says Helen with a sigh. Take my word for it, I have not bathed since the airport fiasco a good 3 weeks ago. Gotta say I am the raunchiest one.. brags Helen.

And the drunkest!! laughs Bonnie.

The heat is on

[wombat2u2004]

gulp..."I'd rather be mud wrestling with a bunch of Sumo wrestlers than eat that mushroom concoction Bonnie made...says GrandChester.

"Oh Bradley, I know its hard to choose which stinky woman is best for the dirty romantic weekend" says Helen with a sigh. Take my word for it, I have not bathed since the airport fiasco a good 3 weeks ago. Gotta say I am the raunchiest one.. brags Helen.

And the drunkest!! laughs Bonnie.

"RIGHT !!!! The heat is on now, you lot." Yelled Wom. "I''ll have you all know that I am the drunkest SOB (Son ofa Bragger) here. And I can prove it !!! Once I had a drinking binge with Bonnie, and I drank her under the table. Yep, there she was, flat out on the floor under the table, covered in peanut shells and other sundry detritus from upturned ashtrays. I felt kind of sorry for her, so I threw the tablecloth over her so she could sleep it off. When I returned in the morning, Bonnie was................"

Raw eggs, vodka and ketchup cocktail

[GrandChester]

"RIGHT !!!! The heat is on now, you lot." Yelled Wom. "I''ll have you all know that I am the drunkest SOB (Son ofa Bragger) here. And I can prove it !!! Once I had a drinking binge with Bonnie, and I drank her under the table. Yep, there she was, flat out on the floor under the table, covered in peanut shells and other sundry detritus from upturned ashtrays. I felt kind of sorry for her, so I threw the tablecloth over her so she could sleep it off. When I returned in the morning, Bonnie was................"

Raw eggs, vodka and ketchup cocktail


...back up at the bar sitting next to what looked like a monkey, mixing up her raw eggs, vodka and ketchup cocktail.
In walks Bill..."Good Morning...Is breakfast ready Bonnie"?
Bill looked closer at the monkey..." Oops, that must be the bartender from last night"
"Tis not, Bill...meet Bradley/Bradford Pear Pitt! Thats my cute pet name for him". Bonnie slurps on her cocktail then says "Pull up a stool Bill. We have a bit of a dilemma. Last night Wom.......


bail bondsman

[Bonny]

...back up at the bar sitting next to what looked like a monkey, mixing up her raw eggs, vodka and ketchup cocktail.
In walks Bill..."Good Morning...Is breakfast ready Bonnie"?
Bill looked closer at the monkey..." Oops, that must be the bartender from last night"
"Tis not, Bill...meet Bradley/Bradford Pear Pitt! Thats my cute pet name for him". Bonnie slurps on her cocktail then says "Pull up a stool Bill. We have a bit of a dilemma. Last night Wom.......


bail bondsman

got his butt into big trouble. He was trying to talk Bradley/Bradford Peat Pitt into free drinks around the bar. Bradley/Bradford Pear Pitt refused, so Wom threw him out the door into the parking lot. The Park Ranger showed up & darted Wom & hauled him off in one of those bear trap cages. He is now in the jug & the bail bondsman has set his bond at a million bucks. Now what .......

jail break :eek:

[GrandChester]

got his butt into big trouble. He was trying to talk Bradley/Bradford Peat Pitt into free drinks around the bar. Bradley/Bradford Pear Pitt refused, so Wom threw him out the door into the parking lot. The Park Ranger showed up & darted Wom & hauled him off in one of those bear trap cages. He is now in the jug & the bail bondsman has set his bond at a million bucks. Now what .......

jail break :eek:

:eek: ONE MILLION? Bonny, this can't be! said GrandChester.
"Now what to do? Plan a jail break I guess?! We certainly cant let Wom sitting in the joint"!

Bradley/Bradford Pear Pitt speaks up.." I certainly have the money to bail him out. Oh no wait...Angie wants to adopt another child. Jail break it is!!
" I can turn on the charm over at the jail and claim we are filming Oceans 14 here. Ill get the keys from the guard saying we need these for props.
Bonny Ill toss you the keys.....Helen you can drive the getaway mo-ped its up and running again! Cassiesmom you....

shrimp on the bar-b

[wombat2u2004]

:eek: ONE MILLION? Bonny, this can't be! said GrandChester.
"Now what to do? Plan a jail break I guess?! We certainly cant let Wom sitting in the joint"!

Bradley/Bradford Pear Pitt speaks up.." I certainly have the money to bail him out. Oh no wait...Angie wants to adopt another child. Jail break it is!!
" I can turn on the charm over at the jail and claim we are filming Oceans 14 here. Ill get the keys from the guard saying we need these for props.
Bonny Ill toss you the keys.....Helen you can drive the getaway mo-ped its up and running again! Cassiesmom you....

.......can throw a shrimp on the bar-b for Wom, and put some beer on ice for him to. You know Wom is such a fantastic great guy, we have to look out for him and treat him in the manner of which he is accustomed to."

Just then, there was a loud explosion, and Wom came staggering out of a gaping hole in the wall.
"Quick, into the moped everyone" Yelled Grand Chester.
And off they sped down the road.

"What on earth happened ?" Said Elyse "I had a beer in one hand, and a shrimp in the other, and all of a sudden it was like all noise and fireworks."

"I think I know what happened" Said Wom. "Bill took his still over to the water tap to put some water in it, and you know what happens when fresh water is mixed with battery acid and whatever else he tries to cook up in that still. Anyway, did anyone manage to save my shrimp ??"

"Oh my God' said Elyse 'talking about shrimp.....where's Bonny ???"

"Who cares ?' Said Wom. 'Shrimp, shrimp, I want shrimp, where's my shrimp"

Moped U turn

[cassiesmom]

"Oh my God' said Elyse 'talking about shrimp.....where's Bonny ???"

"Who cares ?' Said Wom. 'Shrimp, shrimp, I want shrimp, where's my shrimp"

Moped U turn

As they are heading down the road on the Moped, a sleek black limousine passes them. Its tinted windows roll down and Bonny and Brad Pitt wave from the back seat. The limousine turns into Joe's Crab Shack up ahead. Because of traffic, our heroes aren't able to change lanes, so Wom does a Moped U-turn and they join Bonny and Brad Pitt, who are going into the restaurant. The manager greets them. "Hello, how many in your party?"


shrimp etouffée

[Bonny]

As they are heading down the road on the Moped, a sleek black limousine passes them. Its tinted windows roll down and Bonny and Brad Pitt wave from the back seat. The limousine turns into Joe's Crab Shack up ahead. Because of traffic, our heroes aren't able to change lanes, so Wom does a Moped U-turn and they join Bonny and Brad Pitt, who are going into the restaurant. The manager greets them. "Hello, how many in your party?"


shrimp etouffée

Well, we have everyone from South Park, Angie with all of the kids, our slap happy crew of vagabonds, the limo driver, Jennifer whom you can seat next to Angie (they both probably have a lot to talk about) & money bags Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt will be flipping the bill. You can serve us all up a plate of your special shrimp etouffee with plenty of raw Jalapeno peppers mixed in.


The News Gazette

[kokopup]

Well, we have everyone from South Park, Angie with all of the kids, our slap happy crew of vagabonds, the limo driver, Jennifer whom you can seat next to Angie (they both probably have a lot to talk about) & money bags Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt will be flipping the bill. You can serve us all up a plate of your special shrimp etouffee with plenty of raw Jalapeno peppers mixed in.

Just then Bill walks up. "Well it hasn't made the The News Gazette or even the Chelsea Crier but I think I'm still a part of this party even without my celeb status. Had a little problem back there with my still, thankfully when it blew I was in the clapper. I did work up a little appetite trucking it over here on my bike though. Don't care for the shrimp etouffee, dont need crabs, had them, pest little buggers, but I sure could use a nice Margarita and some Snapper throats, greek style, please...... Well, well its been quite a while since I've seen your head above the table Bonny, you too Elyse. You're both looking real chipper, and that was intended to be a compliment considering the brown fog......

burlap bag

[wombat2u2004]

Just then Bill walks up. "Well it hasn't made the The News Gazette or even the Chelsea Crier but I think I'm still a part of this party even without my celeb status. Had a little problem back there with my still, thankfully when it blew I was in the clapper. I did work up a little appetite trucking it over here on my bike though. Don't care for the shrimp etouffee, dont need crabs, had them, pest little buggers, but I sure could use a nice Margarita and some Snapper throats, greek style, please...... Well, well its been quite a while since I've seen your head above the table Bonny, you too Elyse. You're both looking real chipper, and that was intended to be a compliment considering the brown fog......

......., but yeah, I know the only way you can get your head above the table Bonny, is to stand on the chair."
"Oh God' said Bonny 'not you to Bill. You've been listening to Wom too much, he calls me a midget all the time. I can't help it if I'm only 2 feet high."
"Yuppers' said Wom 'Bonny is so small, that you can carry her around in a burlap bag, and you have to keep her quiet to, there's a few circus people around who want her for their "Six Toed Dwarf Freak Show" "
"Hmmmm.....we could make a buck out of this. Do you reckon we could sell her to the circus ?" Said Helen.
"The money would come in handy for the rest of our trip to see Graceland" Said Grandchester.
"Now that's a thought" Said Bill.
"Good idea" Said Elyse.
"Hang on, hang on' said Wom 'Bonny's my mate, we can't sell her to the circus. We could hire her to them tho. And then pick her up on our return trip. We'd need to see how much money we could get in advance from the circus manager tho."

Runaway Elephant

[Bonny]

......., but yeah, I know the only way you can get your head above the table Bonny, is to stand on the chair."
"Oh God' said Bonny 'not you to Bill. You've been listening to Wom too much, he calls me a midget all the time. I can't help it if I'm only 2 feet high."
"Yuppers' said Wom 'Bonny is so small, that you can carry her around in a burlap bag, and you have to keep her quiet to, there's a few circus people around who want her for their "Six Toed Dwarf Freak Show" "
"Hmmmm.....we could make a buck out of this. Do you reckon we could sell her to the circus ?" Said Helen.
"The money would come in handy for the rest of our trip to see Graceland" Said Grandchester.
"Now that's a thought" Said Bill.
"Good idea" Said Elyse.
"Hang on, hang on' said Wom 'Bonny's my mate, we can't sell her to the circus. We could hire her to them tho. And then pick her up on our return trip. We'd need to see how much money we could get in advance from the circus manager tho."

Runaway Elephant

"WHAT!!!:eek: Do you think you are going to leave me alone with the circus." said Bonnie " NO WAY! The manager is going to hire you all on as clowns, animal trainers, & pooh-pooh scoopers.":D

Wom of course acts like a Runaway Elephant trying to prove an Aussie is better at doing everything and anything. GrandChester, Elyse, & Bill take on the job of training the tigers & use Wom as their human guinea pig in their efforts. It is put your head into the lions mouth time Wom .......

bad bad bad bad breath

[wombat2u2004]

"WHAT!!!:eek: Do you think you are going to leave me alone with the circus." said Bonnie " NO WAY! The manager is going to hire you all on as clowns, animal trainers, & pooh-pooh scoopers.":D

Wom of course acts like a Runaway Elephant trying to prove an Aussie is better at doing everything and anything. GrandChester, Elyse, & Bill take on the job of training the tigers & use Wom as their human guinea pig in their efforts. It is put your head into the lions mouth time Wom .......

........errggggghhhh washappenin" Groaned Bonny as she was shaken awake. "I was having a nightmare, something about a circus or something like that, and there was a lion with bad bad bad bad breath, and he was going to eat Wom."
"Never mind' said Bill 'you need to get dressed Bonny, we've just hired you out to the circus, so off with the jarmies, and on with the dungers."
Just then a circus car with a caged trailer pulls up.
"Oh please don't put me in that cage" said Bonny.
"Come on folks' said Wom 'we can't do this to our Bonny, she's such a swell kid and we all think she's really......oh look...there's a dollar coin in the trailer !!"
Bonny leaps ahead of everyone, and straight into the trailer cage she goes, to retrieve the dollar coin. Wom shuts the cage door, locks it and swallows the key. "Gotcha, ya little whippersnapper" yelled Wom.

Whippersnappers Revenge

[GrandChester]

........errggggghhhh washappenin" Groaned Bonny as she was shaken awake. "I was having a nightmare, something about a circus or something like that, and there was a lion with bad bad bad bad breath, and he was going to eat Wom."
"Never mind' said Bill 'you need to get dressed Bonny, we've just hired you out to the circus, so off with the jarmies, and on with the dungers."
Just then a circus car with a caged trailer pulls up.
"Oh please don't put me in that cage" said Bonny.
"Come on folks' said Wom 'we can't do this to our Bonny, she's such a swell kid and we all think she's really......oh look...there's a dollar coin in the trailer !!"
Bonny leaps ahead of everyone, and straight into the trailer cage she goes, to retrieve the dollar coin. Wom shuts the cage door, locks it and swallows the key. "Gotcha, ya little whippersnapper" yelled Wom.

Whippersnappers Revenge


"Sold to the circus...NOT ON MY WATCH! said GrandChester. You wanna see some Whippersnappers Revenge, BONNY"? asks GrandChester
GrandChester runs over to Wom, grabs him from behind and lays the Heimlich maneuver on him. Out flies the key and it lands....

Sasquatch

[Bonny]

"Sold to the circus...NOT ON MY WATCH! said GrandChester. You wanna see some Whippersnappers Revenge, BONNY"? asks GrandChester
GrandChester runs over to Wom, grabs him from behind and lays the Heimlich maneuver on him. Out flies the key and it lands....

Sasquatch

in the hands of a Sasquatch. Bonny is forever grateful as the Sasquatch opens the door on the cage. So grateful that she forgives Wom & his greed & doesn't sic the Sasquatch on the naughty Wom. But the Sasquatch has other ideas .....


head lock

[cassiesmom]

Out flies the key and it lands in the hands of a Sasquatch. Bonny is forever grateful as the Sasquatch opens the door on the cage. So grateful that she forgives Wom & his greed & doesn't sic the Sasquatch on the naughty Wom. But the Sasquatch has other ideas .....

The Sasquatch tries to apply a head lock on Wom, but Wom ducks and pushes the Sasquatch's arms away. The two of them look one another over as they catch their breaths.

"Hold it!" shouts Elyse. "Can we all get along? We aren't going to loan Bonny to the circus. That's just not on. We're going to get back on the moped and..."

squirt gun

[GrandChester]

The Sasquatch tries to apply a head lock on Wom, but Wom ducks and pushes the Sasquatch's arms away. The two of them look one another over as they catch their breaths.

"Hold it!" shouts Elyse. "Can we all get along? We aren't going to loan Bonny to the circus. That's just not on. We're going to get back on the moped and..."

squirt gun



get outta this town..."Sasquatch you come with us. Turns out your bark is worse than your headlock"..laughs GrandChester.

"Has anyone seen Helen lately? asks Cassiesmom.

"Last I saw she was sitting up at the bar filling a squirt gun with her new cocktail concoction with Bradley! said Bill.

"We all need to concentrate on the tasks at hand". sighs Elyses. I am going to miss my reservations at Bellagio if we don't soon get to Vegas. Not to mention...

Dog days of summer

[wombat2u2004]

get outta this town..."Sasquatch you come with us. Turns out your bark is worse than your headlock"..laughs GrandChester.

"Has anyone seen Helen lately? asks Cassiesmom.

"Last I saw she was sitting up at the bar filling a squirt gun with her new cocktail concoction with Bradley! said Bill.

"We all need to concentrate on the tasks at hand". sighs Elyses. I am going to miss my reservations at Bellagio if we don't soon get to Vegas. Not to mention...

......that new rock group I've been waiting to see. I just love Dog days of summer, they are awesome."
"Oh can I be a groupie ???' Said Helen 'I've always wanted to be a groupie. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to stalk a rock star."
"I used to be a rock star" Said Bill.
"True ???? Really Bill ??" Said Wom.
"Well, not a rock star as in the Dog days of summer rock star, but I did collect rocks, and I was a real star at it"
"Well then, can I stalk you Bill ??" Said Helen.
"What for ??' Said Bill 'I was a star at collecting rocks, not an actual rock star. There is a difference Helen. One sings rock songs and the other is like a geologist."
"Oh, I like geologists to' said Helen 'can I still stalk you ??"
"For goodness sakes' said Wom 'can we get going ???"
"Only if I can stalk Bill" Said Helen.
"OK OK already,' said Wom 'get into the moped everyone we have a deadline.......

Willie Nelson

[kokopup]

......that new rock group I've been waiting to see. I just love Dog days of summer, they are awesome."
"Oh can I be a groupie ???' Said Helen 'I've always wanted to be a groupie. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to stalk a rock star."
"I used to be a rock star" Said Bill.
"True ???? Really Bill ??" Said Wom.
"Well, not a rock star as in the Dog days of summer rock star, but I did collect rocks, and I was a real star at it"
"Well then, can I stalk you Bill ??" Said Helen.
"What for ??' Said Bill 'I was a star at collecting rocks, not an actual rock star. There is a difference Helen. One sings rock songs and the other is like a geologist."
"Oh, I like geologists to' said Helen 'can I still stalk you ??"
"For goodness sakes' said Wom 'can we get going ???"
"Only if I can stalk Bill" Said Helen.
"OK OK already,' said Wom 'get into the moped everyone we have a deadline.......to meet. Bill addresses Helen, " listen Helen I'm no Willie Nelson, even though I have a gray scragglie beard. I'm not a Geologist either, even though I collect rocks. I'm in the process of building a court yard, so I have been collecting rocks for years just to build a wall around my patio. You can stalk me if you would like but, I'd appreciate it if you would grab a rock for my collection every once in a while. You have probably wondered why I walk cattiewompus like I do. Well .....

"Rock of Ages"

[wombat2u2004]

to meet. Bill addresses Helen, " listen Helen I'm no Willie Nelson, even though I have a gray scragglie beard. I'm not a Geologist either, even though I collect rocks. I'm in the process of building a court yard, so I have been collecting rocks for years just to build a wall around my patio. You can stalk me if you would like but, I'd appreciate it if you would grab a rock for my collection every once in a while. You have probably wondered why I walk cattiewompus like I do. Well .....

......it's a very long story, but I'll make it a short story just for you. The truth is, when I had finally neared completion of the rock wall around my patio, the scaffold was three stories high by that time, and I was carrying the last rock up to put in place. I called this last rock the "Rock of Ages", because it took me ages to get that rock up onto the top of the wall. Well, you can imagine me standing up there on top of the scaffold, 60 feet above the ground, rock poised in my hand, and then the ladder broke. Down down down I tumbled, landing on one of my legs. And that, Helen, is why one of my legs is shorter than the other, and why I walk like Quasimodo."

"So did you ever get that last rock up onto the top of the wall ??" Said Wom.

"No, not yet' added Bill 'I've yet to have a special ladder made, one with every third rung made closer to the second rung, to compensate for my shorter leg. And then I will complete the wall."

"Gee Bill, this wall sounds kinda high." said Grand chester.

"Yeah' said Bonny 'it sounds to me like.............

Bigger production than Ben Hur

[cassiesmom]

"It sounds to me like Sasquatch here could help you get that last rock into place. He's a big guy."

"Uh-huh," grunts Sasquatch.

"No, no, no," answers Bill. "Getting there on the moped, with the big guy in tow, would be a bigger production than Ben Hur. No way, folks."

They head off to the Dog Days of Summer concert. Elyse asks, "How long will it take to reach the concert venue?"


kerfuffle

[wombat2u2004]

"It sounds to me like Sasquatch here could help you get that last rock into place. He's a big guy."

"Uh-huh," grunts Sasquatch.

"No, no, no," answers Bill. "Getting there on the moped, with the big guy in tow, would be a bigger production than Ben Hur. No way, folks."

They head off to the Dog Days of Summer concert. Elyse asks, "How long will it take to reach the concert venue?"

"About a year at this rate' said Wom 'Bonny keeps dragging her feet on the ground over the side of the moped."

"You can say that again" Said Grand Chester.

"About a year at this rate' said Wom 'Bonny keeps dragging her feet on the ground over the side of the moped."

"Shutup Wom" Said Grand Chester.

"Oh for goodness sake you two' said Elyse 'can't you at least behave yourselves ?? You get into kerfuffle after kerfuffle when we are on the road."

"Look everyone' said Bonny 'there's a billboard up ahead. It says the Dog Days of Summer concert has been cancelled due to lack of interest, and has been replaced with the 'Willie Nelson Has Finally Outlived His Pecker Show.' Can we go to that show instead ???"

"Well,' said Bill ' I think we...............................

Hitchhiking Willie

[kokopup]

wombat2u2004

"About a year at this rate' said Wom 'Bonny keeps dragging her feet on the ground over the side of the moped."

"You can say that again" Said Grand Chester.

"About a year at this rate' said Wom 'Bonny keeps dragging her feet on the ground over the side of the moped."

"Shutup Wom" Said Grand Chester.

"Oh for goodness sake you two' said Elyse 'can't you at least behave yourselves ?? You get into kerfuffle after kerfuffle when we are on the road."

"Look everyone' said Bonny 'there's a billboard up ahead. It says the Dog Days of Summer concert has been cancelled due to lack of interest, and has been replaced with the 'Willie Nelson Has Finally Outlived His Pecker Show.' Can we go to that show instead ???"

"Well,' said Bill ' I think we...............................

Need to give this a lot of thought. You know how Helen and Bonny act when they are around Celeb like Willy. Les we all forget our last Celeb encounter with Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt. I was hoping that we could just put that in our past. Now if we could just get the girls to cooperate we could have a nice show, and then maybe do some Hitchhiking Willie and have a free ride on the concert circuit. Wom you get Helen ready to turn on those .........

boxcars

[wombat2u2004]

wombat2u2004


Need to give this a lot of thought. You know how Helen and Bonny act when they are around Celeb like Willy. Les we all forget our last Celeb encounter with Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt. I was hoping that we could just put that in our past. Now if we could just get the girls to cooperate we could have a nice show, and then maybe do some Hitchhiking Willie and have a free ride on the concert circuit. Wom you get Helen ready to turn on those .........

.....headlights, it's getting dark, and if we are to get to where we are going, we'll need to keep moving."

"Good idea Batman." Said Wom.

"Do you mind, Wombat' Said Bill 'Just because I have pointy little ears, doesn't mean you can keep calling me Batman."

"Sorry' Said Wom. 'Helen !!! Make yourself useful, and turn on dem dere headlights."

"You better hurry up Helen' Said Bonny 'I think we're headed straight for a railroad crossing, and I think there's a train coming, and it's towing boxcars."

"Ahhhh memories memories' Said Elyse 'In my younger days when I was just a simple hobo, I travelled everywhere in a boxcar. Yep, just me and my old dawg. Travelling the countryside, scrounging a scrap of food here and a scrap of food there, singing Hallelujah I'm a Bum, those were the days."

Rabid Raccoon

[kokopup]

Wom

"Ahhhh memories memories' Said Elyse 'In my younger days when I was just a simple hobo, I travelled everywhere in a boxcar. Yep, just me and my old dawg. Travelling the countryside, scrounging a scrap of food here and a scrap of food there, singing Hallelujah I'm a Bum, those were the days."

I guess all was going our way, old dawg and me, until that fateful night. If only I had been a better custodian of Rover, the old dawg. I remember it, like it was just yesterday. Rover, the old dawg, was gnawing on a soup bone I had saved from the night before. All of a sudden it was on poor Rover, the old dawg, like stink on limburger. We found out a rabid Raccoon had been identified and since Rover, the old dawg was just one big raccoon bite I was forced to put Rover, the old Dawg, down. It was a sad day for the campfire group and nothing was the same after that. I gave up those glorious ......

Stock Broker

[wombat2u2004]

Wom

I guess all was going our way, old dawg and me, until that fateful night. If only I had been a better custodian of Rover, the old dawg. I remember it, like it was just yesterday. Rover, the old dawg, was gnawing on a soup bone I had saved from the night before. All of a sudden it was on poor Rover, the old dawg, like stink on limburger. We found out a rabid Raccoon had been identified and since Rover, the old dawg was just one big raccoon bite I was forced to put Rover, the old Dawg, down. It was a sad day for the campfire group and nothing was the same after that. I gave up those glorious ......


....carefree days, and decided to become a Stock Broker, but changed my mind the very next day. Oh yeah gang, I've done it all. Everything from being a McDonalds Drive Thu Waitress, to being a Bricklayer. Yep, I've done it all.
But I've always wanted to be a Brain Surgeon. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to be a Brain Surgeon. I guess that dream began when I was only 10 years old. It all began during that baseball game when I bashed the umpire over the head with the bat, you should have seen it, his temporal lobe went flying over the field to be caught by an outfielder.....yep....I was caught out.
So Bonny, tell us about your life."

Shortest kid in the world

[Bonny]

Well I was the shortest kid in the world until GaryColeman happened along. Then I became the oldest shortest adult in the world after Gary Coleman passed away. R.I.P. Gary :( That's my life in two short sentences. :D

What about you Wom?


floating bottle

[wombat2u2004]

Well I was the shortest kid in the world until GaryColeman happened along. Then I became the oldest shortest adult in the world after Gary Coleman passed away. R.I.P. Gary :( That's my life in two short sentences. :D

What about you Wom?

"Ahhhh Bonny Bonny Bonny' Said Wom 'you are such a floating bottle when it comes to telling stories about yourself. Tell us all first about the Shetland Pony you got for your 21st birthday, and the extendable ladder you needed to climb up onto the pony. And while your at it, tell us about the time you bit Snow White on the kneecap during that school play where you played Grumpy.
And after that, I'll tell you all about Wom"

Size 1 shoe fits all midgets

[Bonny]

"Ahhhh Bonny Bonny Bonny' Said Wom 'you are such a floating bottle when it comes to telling stories about yourself. Tell us all first about the Shetland Pony you got for your 21st birthday, and the extendable ladder you needed to climb up onto the pony. And while your at it, tell us about the time you bit Snow White on the kneecap during that school play where you played Grumpy.
And after that, I'll tell you all about Wom"

Size 1 shoe fits all midgets

Thanks Wom for spilling the beans. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: Snow White had it coming she stepped on my Size 1 shoe fits all midgets & I bit her in the knee cap to get her attention. The ditz a bella was off in La La Land as usual.

Me & my pony Rascal were the best of buds. When I turned 21 it was a BIG day for me. He stood while I climbed the extendable ladder & once I was in the saddle it was RC Rodeo time. Rascal took off bucking like he had a burr under his saddle. You could not see daylight under the saddle because I hung on like a monkey.

Those were the good ole days when I was young & full of piss & vinegar. Now I am just hanging in there wearing my pull up & on diapers & Rascal has departed this world for the rainbow bridge. :( Life can be sad but you have to look on the bright side:) I am going to collect my first Social Security check in November. :) Maybe I will be able to get some dentures then along with hearing aids, a wig for my bald head, & go have a happy meal at Mc Donalds. :)

Now how about it Wom give it your all & tells us about the real you. :D


Dunken Donuts

[GrandChester]

Thanks Wom for spilling the beans. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: Snow White had it coming she stepped on my Size 1 shoe fits all midgets & I bit her in the knee cap to get her attention. The ditz a bella was off in La La Land as usual.

Me & my pony Rascal were the best of buds. When I turned 21 it was a BIG day for me. He stood while I climbed the extendable ladder & once I was in the saddle it was RC Rodeo time. Rascal took off bucking like he had a burr under his saddle. You could not see daylight under the saddle because I hung on like a monkey.

Those were the good ole days when I was young & full of piss & vinegar. Now I am just hanging in there wearing my pull up & on diapers & Rascal has departed this world for the rainbow bridge. :( Life can be sad but you have to look on the bright side:) I am going to collect my first Social Security check in November. :) Maybe I will be able to get some dentures then along with hearing aids, a wig for my bald head, & go have a happy meal at Mc Donalds. :)

Now how about it Wom give it your all & tells us about the real you. :D


Dunken Donuts
"Thats funny Bonny"! snorts Helen. Well, not about poor Rascal or your baldness"!:eek:

"Holy Drunken-Dunken Donuts BatMan"! replies GrandChester. Better pull up a chair cuz this is gonna be a real humdinger! "I can recall one story very vivid WomBat and thats when you"...

Tequilla worm.

[wombat2u2004]

"Thats funny Bonny"! snorts Helen. Well, not about poor Rascal or your baldness"!:eek:

"Holy Drunken-Dunken Donuts BatMan"! replies GrandChester. Better pull up a chair cuz this is gonna be a real humdinger! "I can recall one story very vivid WomBat and thats when you"...

........and a bunch of your mates tried to fish a tequilla worm out of a bottle of cheap imported Mexican plonk. Tell us about it Wombat"

"Well gang, I'll tell ya'all.' Said Wombat 'There we were, me, me mate Bruce, and some sheila by the name of Pinabullana (yeah folks, she was Aboriginal), sitting in the pub one day. The sheila made a bet with me and Bruce that she could get the worm out of the bottle quicker than we could. Me and me mate Bruce tried and tried to remove the worm from that bottle of evil elixer, but to no avail.
We tried everything, even Fong Whoflungdung (the Chinese cook) gave us a lend of his own chopsticks....but no....every time we had that little sucker cornered, he would escape. After about two hours of this, the sheila had had enough, and said it was her turn. Before we could bat an eyelid, the sheila grabbed the bottle, and smashed it over her own head, and in one swift move she caught the worm between her teeth and gulped it straight down."
Me and Bruce sat their flabbergasted. I said to her 'how did you do that?' The sheila replied 'Well for a starters, I never sat there and picked my nose like you and your mate did for tha last two hours, and I have won the bet, so pay up.' Just then, much to me and Bruce's amazement, the sheila starts to sway and stumble around the pub, and all of a sudden she fell flat on her face out the door. 'I'll be buggered' Bruce said. 'Crikey' I said. And then a bunch of Aboriginal guys all dressed up in kangarro skins and feathers arrived (I think they were witchdoctors) and they carried her away. That's when I said to me mate Bruce 'Bruce, you can put the cigarettes away now, looks like we won't have to give her that smoke she won.' And that's the end of the story folks."

"Wom' Said Bill. 'That story is great, tell us another one"

"Ok' Said Wom 'but first we should listen to a story from Grand Chester"

"Oh I've got a great story' Said Grand Chester 'Once upon a time..........

Sitting Bull

[GrandChester]

........and a bunch of your mates tried to fish a tequilla worm out of a bottle of cheap imported Mexican plonk. Tell us about it Wombat"

"Well gang, I'll tell ya'all.' Said Wombat 'There we were, me, me mate Bruce, and some sheila by the name of Pinabullana (yeah folks, she was Aboriginal), sitting in the pub one day. The sheila made a bet with me and Bruce that she could get the worm out of the bottle quicker than we could. Me and me mate Bruce tried and tried to remove the worm from that bottle of evil elixer, but to no avail.
We tried everything, even Fong Whoflungdung (the Chinese cook) gave us a lend of his own chopsticks....but no....every time we had that little sucker cornered, he would escape. After about two hours of this, the sheila had had enough, and said it was her turn. Before we could bat an eyelid, the sheila grabbed the bottle, and smashed it over her own head, and in one swift move she caught the worm between her teeth and gulped it straight down."
Me and Bruce sat their flabbergasted. I said to her 'how did you do that?' The sheila replied 'Well for a starters, I never sat there and picked my nose like you and your mate did for tha last two hours, and I have won the bet, so pay up.' Just then, much to me and Bruce's amazement, the sheila starts to sway and stumble around the pub, and all of a sudden she fell flat on her face out the door. 'I'll be buggered' Bruce said. 'Crikey' I said. And then a bunch of Aboriginal guys all dressed up in kangarro skins and feathers arrived (I think they were witchdoctors) and they carried her away. That's when I said to me mate Bruce 'Bruce, you can put the cigarettes away now, looks like we won't have to give her that smoke she won.' And that's the end of the story folks."

"Wom' Said Bill. 'That story is great, tell us another one"

"Ok' Said Wom 'but first we should listen to a story from Grand Chester"

"Oh I've got a great story' Said Grand Chester 'Once upon a time..........

Sitting Bull

"What a WOMAN"! said GrandChester. "You shoulda married that sheila, Wom!

"I got one for ya Wom"! replies GrandChester "Back in the 50's a group of us were visiting indian reservations out in the Dakotas.

"You had a reservation at an Indian reservation"? asks Bonny

"No Bonny...pay attention! :rolleyes:

"Anyway we were all juiced up on firewater and decided we would exhume the remains of Sitting Bull." BIG MISTAKE. We all spent the night in the county jail. Next day we had to go to Little Bighorn Battlefield and pull weeds for days as a part of our punishment. My back still aint right from it.

"How 'bout you Koko?

Royal Albert Hall

[cassiesmom]

Elyse suddenly interrupts, "I've been to a concert at Royal Albert Hall! It was a beautiful place."

"Shut up Elyse, and let GrandChester finish."


Westminster Abbey

[wombat2u2004]

Elyse suddenly interrupts, "I've been to a concert at Royal Albert Hall! It was a beautiful place."

"Shut up Elyse, and let GrandChester finish."

"Yeah, shut yer trap Elyse, and wait ya turn' Said Wom 'You can tell us all about Westminster Abbey and that Stoney Hengy thingy over in Pommyland after Grand Chester tells us all the next story that was promised us.

Wild Wicked Weekend

[GrandChester]

"Yeah, shut yer trap Elyse, and wait ya turn' Said Wom 'You can tell us all about Westminster Abbey and that Stoney Hengy thingy over in Pommyland after Grand Chester tells us all the next story that was promised us.

Wild Wicked Weekend

Ok here ya go, Wom" smiled GrandChester.

"Back in the sixties.. 1969 to be exact. I dated John Fogerty. I accompanied him to Max Yasgurs farm where he joined in a rock & roll band we camped out on the land and got our souls free". ;)

"Well, as the flower children started to arrive it was getting a little crazy with all the wacky-tobaccy filling the air. Poor cows were feeling the effects and not producing much milk for ole Mr. Yasgur.

"Anyway, John and a group of close friends found White Lake on ole man Yasgurs farm. It was hot & we all stunk to high heaven. We grabbed a couple bars of soap and jumped in. Well we all frollicked around the lake and had a swell time. I got a new nickname as soon as I disrobed...GrandChest(er). " The darndest thing was unbeknownst to us... ole man Yasgur had stocked that lake with piranha...YES, I SAID PIRANAH...Bonny!!

"Talk about a Wild Wicked Weekend! Poor John lost his left big toe to one of them fiesty fish and I nearly lost the rights to my new nickname!:eek: Well, we all got outta that water faster than a fox in a fire! We got Johns toe sewn on by some hippy dude named Jerry Garcia".

Elsie The Cow

[wombat2u2004]

Ok here ya go, Wom" smiled GrandChester.

"Back in the sixties.. 1969 to be exact. I dated John Fogerty. I accompanied him to Max Yasgurs farm where he joined in a rock & roll band we camped out on the land and got our souls free". ;)

"Well, as the flower children started to arrive it was getting a little crazy with all the wacky-tobaccy filling the air. Poor cows were feeling the effects and not producing much milk for ole Mr. Yasgur.

"Anyway, John and a group of close friends found White Lake on ole man Yasgurs farm. It was hot & we all stunk to high heaven. We grabbed a couple bars of soap and jumped in. Well we all frollicked around the lake and had a swell time. I got a new nickname as soon as I disrobed...GrandChest(er). " The darndest thing was unbeknownst to us... ole man Yasgur had stocked that lake with piranha...YES, I SAID PIRANAH...Bonny!!

"Talk about a Wild Wicked Weekend! Poor John lost his left big toe to one of them fiesty fish and I nearly lost the rights to my new nickname!:eek: Well, we all got outta that water faster than a fox in a fire! We got Johns toe sewn on by some hippy dude named Jerry Garcia".

"Hmmmm...interesting !!' Said Wom 'So he lost his big toe and then it was sewn back on ? Good stuff. What I heard was that poor John had something else bitten off in that lake. And that before that event his name was John Fogelhorn, and that when they sewd it back on they sewd it upside down, and evertime he goes to a urinal he pees in his eye. But, must have been a rumour is all."

"Gee' Said Bonny 'I just don't know what I would do if every time I peed I'd have to put a pair of safety glasses on. Anyway, let me tell you all about Elsie The Cow."

"I peed in my mates eyes once" Said Wom.

"Shut UP Wom !!!' Said Elyse "It's Bonny's turn"

Elsie the Cow and Herbert the Bull

[Bonny]

Pasture romances are on the rise. :D

Herbert the Bull is an X-RC Rodeo bucking bull was put out to pasture. Elsie The Cow a registered Pathfinder Black Angus just happens to be in the pasture next door.

It all started one clear full moon lite night. Herbert was grazing along the pasture line fence. Elsie was batting her long eyelashes at Herbert. He suddenly snapped into action plowing his head through the dirt, pawing the ground along with deep romantic bellowing.

Elsie took an instant notice of him. What a hunka bunka heart throb she thought. :cool:

Being a high jumper during his career Herbert cleared the 6' line fence in style. No one not even farmer Browne was the wiser about the budding romance.

Nine months later an ugly brindle bull calf named Gomer was born. Farmer Browne scratches his bald head . . . . .

by garsh by golly

[GrandChester]

"By garsh by golly.. SchaZAMM its a little Gomer Pyle! "Wait till the misses sees you. "Shes gonna have a cow herself, when she sees the likeness of you and Gomer"! Ole farmer brown leads lil Gomer over to the farm house where the misses is canning her famous pickled Tequilla worms.


Floyd the barber

[cassiesmom]

Ole farmer brown leads lil Gomer over to the farm house where the misses is canning her famous pickled Tequilla worms.



The missus turns from her canning, takes one look at Farmer Brown and shouts, "What have you done? You went and saw Floyd the Barber, didn't you. And you let him give you such a bad haircut that you had to shave your head afterward. My word."

"Just gimme one a them tequila worms," answers Farmer Brown. "It'll grow back soon enough."

permanent wave

[wombat2u2004]

The missus turns from her canning, takes one look at Farmer Brown and shouts, "What have you done? You went and saw Floyd the Barber, didn't you. And you let him give you such a bad haircut that you had to shave your head afterward. My word."

"Just gimme one a them tequila worms," answers Farmer Brown. "It'll grow back soon enough."

"Well all,' Said Wom 'I know exactly who Bonny is referring to here when she mentions farmer Browne. It's me !!!! Yes, and even Elyse has misspelt it as usual !!!! It has an EEEEEE on the end Elyse. How on earth am I EVER to educate you lot ???? Anyway, I had better finish the story about the tequila worms, seeing that you lot are doing a lot of guess work here. The true story goes thus......"
Farmer Browne aka Wom: "Have you finished canning those tequila worms yet o light of my life?"
The missus aka o light of my life: "Not yet....why ??"
Farmer Browne aka Wom: "Well I gotta another tequila worm for ya...hee hee"
The missus aka o light of my life: "Yeah? That time of the decade again is it ??
Farmer Browne aka Wom: "Hey woman!! I can't help it if my tequila worm sleeps a lot."
The missus aka o light of my life: "Yeah well now I know the reason why those couple of hundred ex wives of yours gave you the permanent wave....GOODBYE"
Farmer Browne aka Wom: "That's it !!!! From now on I'm going to knickname you GrandChesterless"
The missus aka o light of my life: "What the....??? Just because I haven't grown in the right places, you're holding that against me ??"
Farmer Browne aka Wom: "That's more than what you got to hold against me."
The missus aka o light of my life: Righto matey....no bloody dinner for you tonight !!!!"
Farmer Browne aka Wom: "Bummer"

"And that my friends is a true story. It was the day I missed out on my dinner.
I can honestly say, that in all of the annals of human suffering, nobody suffered more than what I did on that day. Now Bill, you have to tell us that story of yours."

Bills Airplane runs out of gas

[kokopup]

Wom

And that my friends is a true story. It was the day I missed out on my dinner.
I can honestly say, that in all of the annals of human suffering, nobody suffered more than what I did on that day. Now Bill, you have to tell us that story of yours." Bills Airplane runs out of gas Well I can't tell a story that Bills Airplane runs out of gas because I never flew during a time where fuel was an issue.

Bill says "I did have a situation that was almost as bad. During preparation for takeoff a walk around is required to verify that certain maintenance task are preformed so the plane is ready for flight. One of these task is check the oil sump to verify that the oil sump service entrance is closed and ready for flight. Under a small flap is one of the oil sumps for the plane. This flap is closed and considered clear if the two kerklock are closed. Under this flap is a cap much like a gas cap under the flaps of todays cars. The difference is a red flag attached to the plane that stands up erect until the cap is replaced and turned to a closed position. Once the cap is correctly turned and locked then the little red flag is down allowing that outside flap to be locked closed with the zerk keys . In normal operating mode the flap can not be closed until the
internal cap is closed an the red flag is down. Once the red flag is down,then
the outside door flap can be closed and locked. During my walk around the
sump door was closed and locked.

Carrier takeoff and landings are difficult under normal conditions. Today we had a very normal takeoff and it appeared at first that the flight would go well.

Within minutes of launch without warning our starboard engine lost oil pressure and shut down. Flying a twin engine plane is usually a boring uneventful routine, but flying a twin engine plane with just one engine is far from boring. Now the problem gets compounded because , now this single engine twin has to be landed back on the carrier. Landings calls for a plane to approach level, but with one engine not turning level flight is not possible no matter how much the plane is trimmed. Carrier landing for prop planes is different from jet in that you cut engines at an exact time and glide onto the deck catching one of the arresting cables that bring you to a stop. In our case we will be touching down with one wheel far before the other hits. What happens if the plane catches a cable before both Engine nacelle wheels are on the ground. All of these thoughts were running through my head.

Moment of truth arrived and passed we were back on deck without all the imagined bad end. It was determined that a new man on the oil crew, had bent the flag down over the cap because he was unable to get the cap on right. Rather than ask he just bent the flag so he could close the outer door on and kerk lock them.

The minute the plane took off venturi effect from air flow over the wing sucked the oil sump dry in just 15 minutes. Lucky for the engine it had an auto shutdown if there is no oil pressure." I am thankful he didn't do the bend flag trick on both engines.


Wom your most Embarrassed moment

[wombat2u2004]

Wom
Well I can't tell a story that Bills Airplane runs out of gas because I never flew during a time where fuel was an issue.

Bill says "I did have a situation that was almost as bad. During preparation for takeoff a walk around is required to verify that certain maintenance task are preformed so the plane is ready for flight. One of these task is check the oil sump to verify that the oil sump service entrance is closed and ready for flight. Under a small flap is one of the oil sumps for the plane. This flap is closed and considered clear if the two kerklock are closed. Under this flap is a cap much like a gas cap under the flaps of todays cars. The difference is a red flag attached to the plane that stands up erect until the cap is replaced and turned to a closed position. Once the cap is correctly turned and locked then the little red flag is down allowing that outside flap to be locked closed with the zerk keys . In normal operating mode the flap can not be closed until the
internal cap is closed an the red flag is down. Once the red flag is down,then
the outside door flap can be closed and locked. During my walk around the
sump door was closed and locked.

Carrier takeoff and landings are difficult under normal conditions. Today we had a very normal takeoff and it appeared at first that the flight would go well.

Within minutes of launch without warning our starboard engine lost oil pressure and shut down. Flying a twin engine plane is usually a boring uneventful routine, but flying a twin engine plane with just one engine is far from boring. Now the problem gets compounded because , now this single engine twin has to be landed back on the carrier. Landings calls for a plane to approach level, but with one engine not turning level flight is not possible no matter how much the plane is trimmed. Carrier landing for prop planes is different from jet in that you cut engines at an exact time and glide onto the deck catching one of the arresting cables that bring you to a stop. In our case we will be touching down with one wheel far before the other hits. What happens if the plane catches a cable before both Engine nacelle wheels are on the ground. All of these thoughts were running through my head.

Moment of truth arrived and passed we were back on deck without all the imagined bad end. It was determined that a new man on the oil crew, had bent the flag down over the cap because he was unable to get the cap on right. Rather than ask he just bent the flag so he could close the outer door on and kerk lock them.

The minute the plane took off venturi effect from air flow over the wing sucked the oil sump dry in just 15 minutes. Lucky for the engine it had an auto shutdown if there is no oil pressure." I am thankful he didn't do the bend flag trick on both engines.

"Hmmm....that's a good story Bill, but before I go on with "Wom your most Embarrassed moment", did you ever fly a plane and the wheels fell off ???

"Oh stop it Wom, now you're being silly" Said Bonny.

"Silly is my second name. You should know that by now Bonny. And what is your second name ??? Hmmmm???" Said Wom.

"Marmadukette' replied Bonny. 'My full name is Bronwyn Marmadukette Ricecutter"

"That's a real stoopid name" Said Wom

"Shutup" Said Bonny.

Butt slap


"

[kokopup]

Wom

"Hmmm....that's a good story Bill, but before I go on with "Wom your most Embarrassed moment", did you ever fly a plane and the wheels fell off ???

Wom I never had one fall off of a plane. Will a bicycle do? i did have
one come off of my bike once while showing off my wheelie skills. Now that was one of my most embarrassing moments. IT's amazing how good friends will laugh at your misfortune and PAIN. You I'm sure have heard of road rage.
No road rage here, just a whole lot of road rash.

[GrandChester]

"Hmmm....that's a good story Bill, but before I go on with "Wom your most Embarrassed moment", did you ever fly a plane and the wheels fell off ???

"Oh stop it Wom, now you're being silly" Said Bonny.

"Silly is my second name. You should know that by now Bonny. And what is your second name ??? Hmmmm???" Said Wom.

"Marmadukette' replied Bonny. 'My full name is Bronwyn Marmadukette Ricecutter"

"That's a real stoopid name" Said Wom

"Shutup" Said Bonny.

Butt slap


"

"Wom, you have a lot of room to talk with a name like Wombat Buttslap Backendwasher! said GrandChester

"I remember an embarassing moment for you, Wom"! suggests the Chester in all her grandness"."It was your 30th birthday..we had a bunch of mates over for a birthday/beach party.
"I bought a pinata and coated it with Gorilla glue. We all know how well that works "As seen on TV"! Well, you slammed it with all your might, mate!' (Slaps high five) meanwhile further down the beach.

Jello shots and Paul Hogan

[wombat2u2004]

"Wom, you have a lot of room to talk with a name like Wombat Buttslap Backendwasher! said GrandChester

"I remember an embarassing moment for you, Wom"! suggests the Chester in all her grandness"."It was your 30th birthday..we had a bunch of mates over for a birthday/beach party.
"I bought a pinata and coated it with Gorilla glue. We all know how well that works "As seen on TV"! Well, you slammed it with all your might, mate!' (Slaps high five) meanwhile further down the beach.....

Jello shots and Paul Hogan

.......Strop, Woms mate, was sitting on a driftwood log drinking jello shots and Paul Hogan was throwing another shrimp on the barbie."

All of a sudden Strop stood up, and said to Paul.."Paul, I've just stood up"

"Well I just seen that you did that you bloody idiot !!!" Said Paul.

"Ya know mate' said Strop through rubbery lips 'when I stand up, it means something is wrong. Remember that movie we seen together ??? Tit...Tit...Tita"

"The Titanic ???" Said Paul.

"Yeah that one' said Strop 'And do you remember when all of a sudden I stood up ??"

"I thought you stood up because of gas. You were eating frankfurts the day before you know." Said Paul.

"Nope.' continued Strop through flapping lips 'I stood up because I knew something was wrong. And I was right."

"Because the boat sank, right ??" Said Paul.

"Nope again' Said Strop 'Because I dropped my potato crisps onto my lap, and there was this brown furry dog that was trying to eat them. So Paul, I only stand up when I know something is wrong with me mate Wom or a mongrel dog, and I think me mate Wom is in trouble."

"Wom' Said Paul 'He's always in bloody trouble. We'd better go see then"

"Thanks mate" Said Strop

"Shutup !!" Said Paul.

Blind Drunk

[GrandChester]

.......Strop, Woms mate, was sitting on a driftwood log drinking jello shots and Paul Hogan was throwing another shrimp on the barbie."

All of a sudden Strop stood up, and said to Paul.."Paul, I've just stood up"

"Well I just seen that you did that you bloody idiot !!!" Said Paul.

"Ya know mate' said Strop through rubbery lips 'when I stand up, it means something is wrong. Remember that movie we seen together ??? Tit...Tit...Tita"

"The Titanic ???" Said Paul.

"Yeah that one' said Strop 'And do you remember when all of a sudden I stood up ??"

"I thought you stood up because of gas. You were eating frankfurts the day before you know." Said Paul.

"Nope.' continued Strop through flapping lips 'I stood up because I knew something was wrong. And I was right."

"Because the boat sank, right ??" Said Paul.

"Nope again' Said Strop 'Because I dropped my potato crisps onto my lap, and there was this brown furry dog that was trying to eat them. So Paul, I only stand up when I know something is wrong with me mate Wom or a mongrel dog, and I think me mate Wom is in trouble."

"Wom' Said Paul 'He's always in bloody trouble. We'd better go see then"

"Thanks mate" Said Strop

"Shutup !!" Said Paul.

Blind Drunk

Paul and Strop wander along looking for Wom.
"Did I leave the bloody shrimp on the barbie, Wom? asks Paul.
"I dont know,Paul...dont you have a movie to film or something"?
"Dont get in a strop with me, Snippy! said Paul
"Me names not Snippy...you dodo! snaps Strop.
"Do-dos are extinct I'll have ya know, Snippy-Stroppy!
"Who doesn't know that" They walked the earth from 1598-1681"
"You mean flew the earth?!
"They were flightless birds you idiot...and you resemble them in oooooh so many ways"..laughs Strop

"Oh my dear Wom-Bee there you are"! exclaimed Strop."Why on earth are ya up a tree, Wom"?
"Move over Strop you're bed-hoggin agin. Bloody blanket thieving, too! mumbled Wom. "

"Wom you're bloody, blind drunk again!! Get outta that tree this instance or....

Sunrise in St. Tropez

[cassiesmom]

Oh my dear Wom-Bee there you are"! exclaimed Strop."Why on earth are ya up a tree, Wom"?
"Move over Strop you're bed-hoggin agin. Bloody blanket thieving, too! mumbled Wom. "

"Wom you're bloody, blind drunk again!! Get outta that tree this instance or you might fall out and hurt yourself," urges Elyse, who has just come back on the scene.

Wom answers, "I was hoping to see the sun rise in St. Tropez from up here, but I guess that's not on." Wom carefully climbs down from the tree. Elyse is relieved. Looking around she realizes that Paul Hogan is right there. "Hey, wow! Paul Hogan! You're famous!" she says.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious, he knows he's famous," says Strop.

palm tree

[wombat2u2004]

Oh my dear Wom-Bee there you are"! exclaimed Strop."Why on earth are ya up a tree, Wom"?
"Move over Strop you're bed-hoggin agin. Bloody blanket thieving, too! mumbled Wom. "

"Wom you're bloody, blind drunk again!! Get outta that tree this instance or you might fall out and hurt yourself," urges Elyse, who has just come back on the scene.

Wom answers, "I was hoping to see the sun rise in St. Tropez from up here, but I guess that's not on." Wom carefully climbs down from the tree. Elyse is relieved. Looking around she realizes that Paul Hogan is right there. "Hey, wow! Paul Hogan! You're famous!" she says.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious, he knows he's famous," says Strop.


"Well of course I'm bloody famous' Said Paul Hogan 'Here Elyse, this is for you. A photo of meself and Strop. I'm the one on the right of course. The good lookin one."

http://img1.imagehousing.com/67/321eefa8610f4daa6f7f241715330166.jpg (http://www.imagehousing.com/image/830849)

"Now that isn't fair dinkum mate' said Strop 'just because you get more birds than I do doesn't mean yer better lookin. I'm not climbin up any more palm trees every time you want coconuts now. Talkin about coconuts, Woms here, but where's Bill ??"

Pina Colada mixed with Fosters beer


"

[GrandChester]

"Well of course I'm bloody famous' Said Paul Hogan 'Here Elyse, this is for you. A photo of meself and Strop. I'm the one on the right of course. The good lookin one."

http://img1.imagehousing.com/67/321eefa8610f4daa6f7f241715330166.jpg (http://www.imagehousing.com/image/830849)

"Now that isn't fair dinkum mate' said Strop 'just because you get more birds than I do doesn't mean yer better lookin. I'm not climbin up any more palm trees every time you want coconuts now. Talkin about coconuts, Woms here, but where's Bill ??"

Pina Colada mixed with Fosters beer


"




"Bills up in his bloody plane again!
Nice picture by the way, Strop! Thats Bonny's bonnet you're wearin' . Should have given that one to Bill to use as a parachute"! said GrandChester

"Hey Wom... whats worse than a bent flag on Bills plane engine"? asks GC.
"Well, Sheila I'd say mixin' Pina Colada mixed with Fosters Beer". said Wom
"Sounds bloody horrific, Wom-Bee" What made ya do that? asked GC.
"On a dare back in me old college days"...What was that noise & shaking mate?

Strop wheres my bloody scooter?

[wombat2u2004]

"Bills up in his bloody plane again!
Nice picture by the way, Strop! Thats Bonny's bonnet you're wearin' . Should have given that one to Bill to use as a parachute"! said GrandChester

"Hey Wom... whats worse than a bent flag on Bills plane engine"? asks GC.
"Well, Sheila I'd say mixin' Pina Colada mixed with Fosters Beer". said Wom
"Sounds bloody horrific, Wom-Bee" What made ya do that? asked GC.
"On a dare back in me old college days"...What was that noise & shaking mate?

"Well stone the crows' said Wom 'Bills just landed his plane without the wheels down again. Strop wheres my bloody scooter?"

"Here ya go mate, ya can have Pauls scooter' said Strop 'even tho it looks like a three wheeled shrimp, it's still rideable."

Wom speeds off on the Shrimpmobile, across the paddock, over the hill, through the valley, across the plains, with GC, Elyse, Bonny, Helen, Paul and Strop in hot pursuit. Finally they arrive at the crash site, and there is Bill sitting on his plane, which had crashed into a ditch on route 66.

"Crikey Paul' said Strop' this is tha famous Route 66"

"Yep.' said Paul 'It was made famous by that singer with the big rubbery lips, Mick Jagged"

"I get my kicks on Route 66" Strop sings out of tune.

Bill has three broken legs

[GrandChester]

"Well stone the crows' said Wom 'Bills just landed his plane without the wheels down again. Strop wheres my bloody scooter?"

"Here ya go mate, ya can have Pauls scooter' said Strop 'even tho it looks like a three wheeled shrimp, it's still rideable."

Wom speeds off on the Shrimpmobile, across the paddock, over the hill, through the valley, across the plains, with GC, Elyse, Bonny, Helen, Paul and Strop in hot pursuit. Finally they arrive at the crash site, and there is Bill sitting on his plane, which had crashed into a ditch on route 66.

"Crikey Paul' said Strop' this is tha famous Route 66"

"Yep.' said Paul 'It was made famous by that singer with the big rubbery lips, Mick Jagged"

"I get my kicks on Route 66" Strop sings out of tune.

Bill has three broken legs

"Hush it, woman... you got all the dogs howlin! said Wom

Oooooo:eek: I love that rubbery lipped, Mick! said GC, shakin her hips.

Bill yells..."get me outta this hunk-o-junk ba'for she blows"! I smell gas!
"
Thats Paul, hes had gas all week! said Bonny...Whew.."Paul dont pass wind near the gas tank ya bloomin idiot"!.

"Imagine me landin this ole plane on Route 66" said Bill "
Nat King Coleslaw made the song famous not bloody Mick Jagged, Paul. You movie stars dont know yer music." adds Bill

"We oughta get Bill outta that cockpit" Poor mate, how ya feel? asks Wom-Bee

"Like I could run a three legged race"! reponds Bill, sarcastically

"Garsh, Bill has three broken legs"?...gasps Elyse :eek:

"Elyse...he said three legged race..., ...nevermind..turn up yer hearin' aid!

"What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? asks Bill.

Bright White Light

[kokopup]

"Well there I was talking to the flight controller for Santa Fe when all of a sudden, Kaa chunk, kaa chunk and then just pure silence. Thats the problem with single engine planes they can leave you high and dry, and I'm not talking Martinis here. Well there I was 7 thousand over Arizona, no you better make that 6, err 5, and I knew my ole arse was grass. There in the distance I saw what I thoughts was a
air field, and with this old tub sinking like rock I head'r that way. Just when I was about to set'r down, I realized in my haste to get'r down I forgot to lower the gear. All of a sudden there was sparks a flying and the ole belly of this slug was bouncing up and down. Just then I knew it was the end, a Bright White Light appeared just like I had heard happening. The old plane gave it one more bounce and there between that bright light was a metal sign saying Peterbilt. Thats all I remember."
Wom, ole mate is this heaven. I think I might have broken that Bright White Light.
What are you guys doing in heaven, err, oh I get it, this is....

Flagstaff by morning

[wombat2u2004]

"Well there I was talking to the flight controller for Santa Fe when all of a sudden, Kaa chunk, kaa chunk and then just pure silence. Thats the problem with single engine planes they can leave you high and dry, and I'm not talking Martinis here. Well there I was 7 thousand over Arizona, no you better make that 6, err 5, and I knew my ole arse was grass. There in the distance I saw what I thoughts was a
air field, and with this old tub sinking like rock I head'r that way. Just when I was about to set'r down, I realized in my haste to get'r down I forgot to lower the gear. All of a sudden there was sparks a flying and the ole belly of this slug was bouncing up and down. Just then I knew it was the end, a Bright White Light appeared just like I had heard happening. The old plane gave it one more bounce and there between that bright light was a metal sign saying Peterbilt. Thats all I remember."
Wom, ole mate is this heaven. I think I might have broken that Bright White Light.
What are you guys doing in heaven, err, oh I get it, this is....

.....really a heaven. There goes Bonny the Angel flying past me right now."

"Bill. Wake up' Said Elyse 'You've just been involved in a horrific airplane accident."

"Is he alright Elyse?' Said Grand Chester 'Are there any life threatening wounds?"

"BONNY!!' yells Wom 'Will you take those bloody fairy wings off ? This is serious, Bills been hurt. Bill, Bill, are you ok?"

"I can't feel my legs" Said Bill.

"That's probably because your hands are behind your head Bill. If you reach down with your hands to your legs, you might be able to feel them. I learnt that in Nurse College" Said Elyse.

"That's a good idea' Said Bill, reaching down and touching his legs 'I can feel them, I can feel them, it's a miracle. Does that mean we'll get to Flagstaff by morning?"

"Flagstaff??' Said Grand Chester 'that's in the middle of the bloody desert"

"Oh goody' Said Helen 'Can I ride a camel?"

Lawrence of Arabia

[happylabs]

.....really a heaven. There goes Bonny the Angel flying past me right now."

"Bill. Wake up' Said Elyse 'You've just been involved in a horrific airplane accident."

"Is he alright Elyse?' Said Grand Chester 'Are there any life threatening wounds?"

"BONNY!!' yells Wom 'Will you take those bloody fairy wings off ? This is serious, Bills been hurt. Bill, Bill, are you ok?"

"I can't feel my legs" Said Bill.

"That's probably because your hands are behind your head Bill. If you reach down with your hands to your legs, you might be able to feel them. I learnt that in Nurse College" Said Elyse.

"That's a good idea' Said Bill, reaching down and touching his legs 'I can feel them, I can feel them, it's a miracle. Does that mean we'll get to Flagstaff by morning?"

"Flagstaff??' Said Grand Chester 'that's in the middle of the bloody desert"

"Oh goody' Said Helen 'Can I ride a camel?"

Lawrence of Arabia


Helen, where did you come from? I thought you were still back at the magical forest eating cake and pizza off of the doors and wall, said Elyse.

"No, I've been hiding in Wom's pocket this whole time. I drank that magical drink that Alice in Wonderland gave me and I shrunk down to the size of a dill pickle. Somehow when the plane crashed I grew back to my normal size."

Ever since I saw the movie Lawrence of Arabia, my lifelong dream has been to ride between the two humps of a camel.

Bill and Wom look at each other and roll their eyes. Bill says...

"Rainforest"

[GrandChester]

Helen, where did you come from? I thought you were still back at the magical forest eating cake and pizza off of the doors and wall, said Elyse.

"No, I've been hiding in Wom's pocket this whole time. I drank that magical drink that Alice in Wonderland gave me and I shrunk down to the size of a dill pickle. Somehow when the plane crashed I grew back to my normal size."

Ever since I saw the movie Lawrence of Arabia, my lifelong dream has been to ride between the two humps of a camel.

Bill and Wom look at each other and roll their eyes. Bill says...

""Rainforest"

"Mmmmmmm... I love fried dill pickles in a Bloody Mary instead of a stalk of
cerlery! says Bonny.

"Helen, can you drink more of Alice's potion and shink down so that I can carry you around in my Coach Bag like a real live Barbie Doll. Like Paris Hilton carries Lil' TinkerBell! please..please...please". Begs GC

"I have a request of you, Paul! Can we use your plane to fly thru the eye of Irene? asks Bill.

"Good idea mate! We can bust thru the eye, break her apart just leaving nice little showers as in the rain forest". You'll be a bloody hero, mate! " Not to mention the next daredevil!"

"We will call you our BilleyeBuster"! said GC

"Yippee off we go, mates" said Strop.
Strop yerselves in! said Mick Jagged in his thick accent with rubbery lips.

"Surprise mates! I dont have a plane so I phoned my good mate, Mick"! He will be Bills co-pilot" said Paul.

"WooHoo Im lovin' this!" said Wom

Satisfaction

[happylabs]

"Mmmmmmm... I love fried dill pickles in a Bloody Mary instead of a stalk of
cerlery! says Bonny.

"Helen, can you drink more of Alice's potion and shink down so that I can carry you around in my Coach Bag like a real live Barbie Doll. Like Paris Hilton carries Lil' TinkerBell! please..please...please". Begs GC

"I have a request of you, Paul! Can we use your plane to fly thru the eye of Irene? asks Bill.

"Good idea mate! We can bust thru the eye, break her apart just leaving nice little showers as in the rain forest". You'll be a bloody hero, mate! " Not to mention the next daredevil!"

"We will call you our BilleyeBuster"! said GC

"Yippee off we go, mates" said Strop.
Strop yerselves in! said Mick Jagged in his thick accent with rubbery lips.

"Surprise mates! I dont have a plane so I phoned my good mate, Mick"! He will be Bills co-pilot" said Paul.

"WooHoo Im lovin' this!" said Wom

Satisfaction

Helen: Well, I can probably shrink again, but you will have to ask Wom if it is okay with him. Last night he gave me a friendship ring that glows in the dark and when I am happy it flashes "satisfaction". I am a little confused because I thought he and Megan Fox were an item.

Mick comes around the corner and instead of a plane he has camels for everyone.

"Neon"

[kokopup]

Helen: Well, I can probably shrink again, but you will have to ask Wom if it is okay with him. Last night he gave me a friendship ring that glows in the dark and when I am happy it flashes "satisfaction". I am a little confused because I thought he and Megan Fox were an item.

Mick comes around the corner and instead of a plane he has camels for everyone.What are you trying to pull with this camel; thing Mick, says Bill. Its bad enough that you brought us camels instead of a plane. If I'm not totally messed up from my crash, I don't see a single 2 humper in the lot. Elyse was dreaming of being in the desert on a 2 humper and all you can manage is a bunch of monohumpers. How in the world am I going to bust a hurricane on a camel. I was going to be a hero with my name up in "neon" lights. Am I wrong here Elyse? What about it Wom, Grandchester, Helen are we going to...


flying camels

[GrandChester]

What are you trying to pull with this camel; thing Mick, says Bill. Its bad enough that you brought us camels instead of a plane. If I'm not totally messed up from my crash, I don't see a single 2 humper in the lot. Elyse was dreaming of being in the desert on a 2 humper and all you can manage is a bunch of monohumpers. How in the world am I going to bust a hurricane on a camel. I was going to be a hero with my name up in "neon" lights. Am I wrong here Elyse? What about it Wom, Grandchester, Helen are we going to...


flying camels


"Am I seeing Pyramids in the distance or do I have a serious concussion?" asked Bill.

"Hahaha, another surprise mates! explains Paul. "Yep, pyramids..right Bill...stage props yer seeing. These camels are here for my new film, "Dundee Half Croc'k In Egypt". Elyse you can stay behind if ya like, Im takin a fancy to ya and I can arrange to fullfill your dream with a long ride on a two-humper....camel.:)! grins Paul.

I gah a lah o toys & fings but no flying camels!" "My plane awaits! Lets, go!
"I'm off to make a name for myself! said Bill proudly. "Lets go bust Irene into the second Tuesday of next week"!

"Hey, Wom.....sing along wiff me I can't get no...ss-atiss-fac-tion...but i try & I try & I try-try- try, but I........

Wild Blue Yonder

[wombat2u2004]

"Am I seeing Pyramids in the distance or do I have a serious concussion?" asked Bill.

"Hahaha, another surprise mates! explains Paul. "Yep, pyramids..right Bill...stage props yer seeing. These camels are here for my new film, "Dundee Half Croc'k In Egypt". Elyse you can stay behind if ya like, Im takin a fancy to ya and I can arrange to fullfill your dream with a long ride on a two-humper....camel.:)! grins Paul.

I gah a lah o toys & fings but no flying camels!" "My plane awaits! Lets, go!
"I'm off to make a name for myself! said Bill proudly. "Lets go bust Irene into the second Tuesday of next week"!

"Hey, Wom.....sing along wiff me I can't get no...ss-atiss-fac-tion...but i try & I try & I try-try- try, but I........

Wild Blue Yonder

.........caint git no........satis..................factshon"

"Gee GC, you really sound bad,' said Bill 'can you sing In The Wild Blue Yonder?"

Nope' said GC 'Never heard of it"

"Well,' said Bill 'if you go far enuf away from us all here, you'll be singing in the wild blue yonder"

"Now now Billy boy' said Bonny 'there is no need for that. If you don't like GC's singing, you can put ear muffs on, like the rest of us."

"Stone the bloody crows' said Wom 'look what I have found."

Everyone gathers around Wom as he removes well placed tree branches and other sundry detritus from around a well hidden hippy bus.

"Oh look' said Elyse 'the bus is full of skeletons. Hippy skeletons"

"Oh goody' yells Bonny 'I love playing with hippy skeletons. Can I play with one ??? I promise I won't rattle the rib cages loudly."

"Well that's gotta sound better than GC's singing." Said Bill.

"Would you bloody lot belt up !!! 'said Wom sternly (which was evidenced by his little pink ears flapping wildly) 'at least make yourselves useful, and gather what you can for our trip. We've got to outrun Irene, and we haven't much time left. Bill, check the gas. Elyse, check the oil. GC, check the water. Helen, you check the tyre air pressure. Yes yes Bonny...you can go loot and pillage the skeletons belongings. I'll just sit here and watch you all."


Crank...pfizzle. Crank....cough splutter. Crank....VROOOOMMMM

[GrandChester]

.........caint git no........satis..................factshon"

"Gee GC, you really sound bad,' said Bill 'can you sing In The Wild Blue Yonder?"

Nope' said GC 'Never heard of it"

"Well,' said Bill 'if you go far enuf away from us all here, you'll be singing in the wild blue yonder"

"Now now Billy boy' said Bonny 'there is no need for that. If you don't like GC's singing, you can put ear muffs on, like the rest of us."

"Stone the bloody crows' said Wom 'look what I have found."

Everyone gathers around Wom as he removes well placed tree branches and other sundry detritus from around a well hidden hippy bus.

"Oh look' said Elyse 'the bus is full of skeletons. Hippy skeletons"

"Oh goody' yells Bonny 'I love playing with hippy skeletons. Can I play with one ??? I promise I won't rattle the rib cages loudly."

"Well that's gotta sound better than GC's singing." Said Bill.

"Would you bloody lot belt up !!! 'said Wom sternly (which was evidenced by his little pink ears flapping wildly) 'at least make yourselves useful, and gather what you can for our trip. We've got to outrun Irene, and we haven't much time left. Bill, check the gas. Elyse, check the oil. GC, check the water. Helen, you check the tyre air pressure. Yes yes Bonny...you can go loot and pillage the skeletons belongings. I'll just sit here and watch you all."


Crank...pfizzle. Crank....cough splutter. Crank....VROOOOMMMM





"Taaaattaaaa ttooooo muuuuuch ttturbuulancce". "If I wanted my bones rattled this much I woulda stayed back with the hippys"! screams Bonnie

Crank...pfizzle. Crank....cough splutter. Crank....VROOOOMMMM

"Bonnie we havent left the ground yet"... Thats the plane taxiing! adds Elyse
"Oh what a thrill on my birthday"! cheers Elyse with arms flailing.

"Is that a Gremlin on the wing? asks Strop.
"Nope its Helen...shrunk herself back to the size of a dill pickle agin! said Wom.

All of the sudden a cloud burst hits.

" I shoulda known I was no hurricane chaser". said Bill with a gruff, agitated voice. "Lets all hop on that bus of bones and...

Shake..Rattle & Roll

[cassiesmom]

" I shoulda known I was no hurricane chaser". said Bill with a gruff, agitated voice. "Lets all hop on that bus of bones and...

Shake..Rattle & Roll

"Let's all hop on that bus of bones and shake, rattle and roll our way out of this storm!"

Hippie skeletons

[Bonny]

Bill put the pedal to the metal. There is a big black funnel coming our way. Up Up and Away yells Elyse. Those hippie Skeletons are rattling like Sidewinders. Kerplunk the bus just . . . .



On Top Of Old Smokey

[wombat2u2004]

Bill put the pedal to the metal. There is a big black funnel coming our way. Up Up and Away yells Elyse. Those hippie Skeletons are rattling like Sidewinders. Kerplunk the bus just . . . .

....let out one final backfire, and settled into an easy smooth ride, heading towards the big black funnel in the distance.
"Who knows a song ?" Said Elyse.
"I do" Said Bill
"Well sing it bill...sing it"
Bill starts to sing..........
"On Top Of Old Smokey,
Where nobody goes.
Lays Marilyn Monroe,
Without any....." ***CRASH***
All of a sudden the front axle of the bus broke in half.
"I never got to finish my song" Said Bill
"Later...later" Said Wom

That twister is gonna hit us in..........

[Bonny]

....let out one final backfire, and settled into an easy smooth ride, heading towards the big black funnel in the distance.
"Who knows a song ?" Said Elyse.
"I do" Said Bill
"Well sing it bill...sing it"
Bill starts to sing..........
"On Top Of Old Smokey,
Where nobody goes.
Lays Marilyn Monroe,
Without any....." ***CRASH***
All of a sudden the front axle of the bus broke in half.
"I never got to finish my song" Said Bill
"Later...later" Said Wom

That twister is gonna hit us in..........

the south end & turn us around around like a spinning top. I'm getting sick just hearing about it said Elyse. Making a mad dash for the emergency door everyone bails out somewhere over Kansas? Wom wakes up wearing a red pair of woolen long johns with brand new sparkly ruby red slippers .......


cow path

[wombat2u2004]

the south end & turn us around around like a spinning top. I'm getting sick just hearing about it said Elyse. Making a mad dash for the emergency door everyone bails out somewhere over Kansas? Wom wakes up wearing a red pair of woolen long johns with brand new sparkly ruby red slippers .......

....and a new sequined purple tutu.
"Do I look beautiful ?" Said Wom
"Yes, you do look beautiful Wom" Said everyone in unison.
"Can we walk along this yellow brick road ?" Asks Wom
"It ain't no yellow brick road, it's a cow path" Said Bonny with a piece of straw sticking out of her mouth.
"But those are yellow bricks on the ground" Said Elyse.
"Nope, they are cow patties' said Bonny 'I know, I step in them every day"
So off they went along the yellow cow patty road, until.............

Elyse puts her foot into

[cassiesmom]

Off they go along the yellow cow patty road, until Elyse puts her foot into a hole. "Ouch! How is it possible that there are potholes in a cow patty road?"

Get on the bus

[Bonny]

Off they go along the yellow cow patty road, until Elyse puts her foot into a hole. "Ouch! How is it possible that there are potholes in a cow patty road?"

Get on the bus

Elyse you didn't step into a pot hole that is a pot of gold. Now you can get that gold crown put on your broken front tooth. Wom just lost his balance & tripped over his sequined purple tutu & landed in a fresh hot steamy smelly soupy cow pie. Phew! Phew! Well lets get back on the bus everyone ......

Wally World :)

[wombat2u2004]

Elyse you didn't step into a pot hole that is a pot of gold. Now you can get that gold crown put on your broken front tooth. Wom just lost his balance & tripped over his sequined purple tutu & landed in a fresh hot steamy smelly soupy cow pie. Phew! Phew! Well lets get back on the bus everyone ......

........."No way" Said everyone. "We all want to stay here and follow the yellow brick road."
"But' said Bonny 'I was going to show you all the way to Wally World"
"What's at Wally World ?" Said Bill.
"That's where I was born" Said Bonny.
"Naw' said Wom 'Wally World didn't exist that long ago."
"Well I have something to tell you all, a secret" Said Bonny.
"We're all listening" everyone said in unison.
"My name isn't really Bonny. My real name is........Wally"
"Ah ok' Said Bill 'So you're really a Wally ?"
"Yep, born and bred as a Wally. So can Wally take you all to Wally World to see all the other Wally's ?" said Wally.
"Ok Wally, take us there" said Wom

Wally Wally Woo Woo

[Bonny]

Well Wom your the only one dressed well enough to enter Wally Wally Woo Woo World.

Over the river & through the woods we go. Chug Chug Ker Plunk were out of gas, said Bill. Look up there on that hill there is a huge old house .....


creaky door

[wombat2u2004]

Well Wom your the only one dressed well enough to enter Wally Wally Woo Woo World.

Over the river & through the woods we go. Chug Chug Ker Plunk were out of gas, said Bill. Look up there on that hill there is a huge old house .....

.......and I bet it has bats flying around it and a creaky door."
"No no no' said Wom 'that's Elyse's house"
"How do you know if that is Elyse's house Wom?" Said Bill
"Well, for a start, it has a big red cross painted on the front door, and look, there's a sign" Said Wom
"What does the sign say Wom?" Said Bonny.
"It says..........
ELYSE RN F.r.a.c.p. Bach.Sc. Bach.Med. Bach.Whatever.
HUMAN BODIES REPAIRED.
CUTS AND ABRASIONS A SPECIALTY.
NO SALESMEN "

"Do you think Elyse will let us in to change our clothes for Wally World ?? By the way, I haven't seen Elyse for ages, I wonder where she could have go to to" Said Bill.
"Dunno" Said Wom.
"Wait' said Bonny 'I thought I heard some noises in the back of the bus, we'd better go and investigate"
"I think those noises are coming from the cargo storage" Said Bill.
"Here, I'll open it......OMG....it's Elyse. And she's in the cargo hold with Brad Pitt. I was wondering where he had gone." Said Wom.
"And she's tied him up" Said Bonny.

He's mine, mine, all mine !!!!

[GrandChester]

.......and I bet it has bats flying around it and a creaky door."
"No no no' said Wom 'that's Elyse's house"
"How do you know if that is Elyse's house Wom?" Said Bill
"Well, for a start, it has a big red cross painted on the front door, and look, there's a sign" Said Wom
"What does the sign say Wom?" Said Bonny.
"It says..........
ELYSE RN F.r.a.c.p. Bach.Sc. Bach.Med. Bach.Whatever.
HUMAN BODIES REPAIRED.
CUTS AND ABRASIONS A SPECIALTY.
NO SALESMEN "

"Do you think Elyse will let us in to change our clothes for Wally World ?? By the way, I haven't seen Elyse for ages, I wonder where she could have go to to" Said Bill.
"Dunno" Said Wom.
"Wait' said Bonny 'I thought I heard some noises in the back of the bus, we'd better go and investigate"
"I think those noises are coming from the cargo storage" Said Bill.
"Here, I'll open it......OMG....it's Elyse. And she's in the cargo hold with Brad Pitt. I was wondering where he had gone." Said Wom.
"And she's tied him up" Said Bonny.

He's mine, mine, all mine !!!!

"He's mine, mine, all mine" !!!! screams Mick Jagged.
"Mick? We forgot all about you, too". Gasped everyone.
"No No No Mick..hes mine, I bought the rope and everything"! yells Elyse
"I dont want 'eem! shouts Mr. Jagged. I was singin' lyrics to me new song, All Mine!
"Can someone untie me"?! asks Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt.
"Is there anyone else you've tied up in cargo, Elyse"? asks everyone.
"Just a wee Rhesus monkey" I rescued him from the sanctuary back in the last town.
"Well no wonder it smells like monkey butt in here".
"Ill buy some disinfectant on our trip to Wally Woo Woo World. My birth place! says Wally/Bonny.
"Im really confused now... You have stumped the Chester"! says GC scratching head.


Mayor Wally Woo Woo

[wombat2u2004]

"He's mine, mine, all mine" !!!! screams Mick Jagged.
"Mick? We forgot all about you, too". Gasped everyone.
"No No No Mick..hes mine, I bought the rope and everything"! yells Elyse
"I dont want 'eem! shouts Mr. Jagged. I was singin' lyrics to me new song, All Mine!
"Can someone untie me"?! asks Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt.
"Is there anyone else you've tied up in cargo, Elyse"? asks everyone.
"Just a wee Rhesus monkey" I rescued him from the sanctuary back in the last town.
"Well no wonder it smells like monkey butt in here".
"Ill buy some disinfectant on our trip to Wally Woo Woo World. My birth place! says Wally/Bonny.
"Im really confused now... You have stumped the Chester"! says GC scratching head.

"Talking about stumps' Said Bonny 'I was stumped once on that TV show I was on; Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"; they asked me if I knew the name of the author of the book The Baby's Revenge. Well Nora Booboff was not the correct answer, so I never got the million dollars. I did get a $20 gift voucher from Walmart tho, to spend how I wanted to in the goldfish food section of the store, oh, and I got a free set of steak knives to"

"Ok, enuf stories from you bunch of loonies' said Wom 'it's getting dark, the bus is broken down, and I think we may be all standing on an old Indian burial ground. We need to get going, Mayor Wally Woo Woo is expecting us."

Just then, a loud piercing wailing sound came from the underbrush.
Bonny, GC, Elyse, Helen, Brad and Mick all ran in terror and locked themselves in the broken down bus.

"Oh for God sakes Bill' said Wom 'would you stop trying to frighten all the girls? Come out from behind that tree now and behave yourself!!!"

"Sorry" said Bill


The dwarf from Hootenanny Crik

[cool4catz2]

"Talking about stumps' Said Bonny 'I was stumped once on that TV show I was on; Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"; they asked me if I knew the name of the author of the book The Baby's Revenge. Well Nora Booboff was not the correct answer, so I never got the million dollars. I did get a $20 gift voucher from Walmart tho, to spend how I wanted to in the goldfish food section of the store, oh, and I got a free set of steak knives to"

"Ok, enuf stories from you bunch of loonies' said Wom 'it's getting dark, the bus is broken down, and I think we may be all standing on an old Indian burial ground. We need to get going, Mayor Wally Woo Woo is expecting us."

Just then, a loud piercing wailing sound came from the underbrush.
Bonny, GC, Elyse, Helen, Brad and Mick all ran in terror and locked themselves in the broken down bus.

"Oh for God sakes Bill' said Wom 'would you stop trying to frighten all the girls? Come out from behind that tree now and behave yourself!!!"

"Sorry" said Bill


The dwarf from Hootenanny Crik
"I got those same knives, Bonny". said cool4catz. "Pieces of crap those things". Couldn't cut warm butter with 'em."
"I know I gave 'em to ya for your birthday one year" confesses Bonny.
"Do me a favor and dont get me anymore birthday presents". replies cool.

"Wom..remember that ugly lil man back east who lived down by the crik"? asked Elyse.

"Yeah..the one we called the "Dwarf from Hootenanny Crik"?
"Thats him...think I just saw his ghost float under that bridge over there."
"No..nuh-uh...thats freaky! I dont like this. "Bill can you get this bus running"?
" Maybe the Hootenanny dwarf can"..laughs Mick.
"Im gonna take a look at that abandoned bus over there". said Bill. "Maybe I can use that fuel pump".
"Worth a try" shivers Brad.

Everyone shuffles behind Bill. Scared outta their wits. Teeth chattering.
Bill looks back over his shoulder..but its not Bills face at all!
Everyone screams bloody heck. AAAAAAAAAAHHH


Cyclops from Uranus

[Bonny]

Bradley Bradford PearPitt flexing his pea sized biceps grabs on to the tire iron getting ready to swing it. Who goes their yells Mick Jagged? Its just me yells Uncle Wally Wally Woo Woo dressed up like a Cyclops from Uranus. Do you have any Halloween treats asks Elyse. I haven't had my sugar high yet today. Can you . . . . . .


tricks