View Full Version : Unfortunate car accident: Boss' son didn't survive.

09-20-2010, 09:07 PM
So, I found out this morning that my boss' son, who was only 17, was involved in a fatal car crash on Saturday morning, and didn't survive. So, I am trying to decide, what is the best thing to do? I've only worked at the office for four months now, and not really 'close' with any of the employees, let's just say, I go to work, and when my work is done, I clock out and leave. They don't talk to me unless they need me to do something for them/for a client that needs to get done. Now his wake is on Thursday. Should I go, make a appearance, pay my respects, even if I only worked there for a short time, or just do something else to show them I care and I send them my condolences. Flowers, card, something. I don't mean to be a "cold" person at all, I just feel so unsure about what I should do, at all. Would appreciate it if I could read your thoughts/opinions on what to do. By the way, HUG YOUR KID and SAY I LOVE YOU'S, life is way too short. Embrace every moment.

Pinot's Mom
09-20-2010, 09:28 PM
If it's a 'viewing', absolutely, make an appearance, extend your sympathies. A 'wake' is a different thing. That, to my knowledge, is really for family and close friends. I may be wrong, but that's my impression. Do what you're comfortable with.

09-20-2010, 09:35 PM
It's visitation, which means, what? I don't know the difference between a wake/viewing/visitation. The funeral is on Friday, but I will not be going to that, since that is more for family/friends/loved ones.

09-20-2010, 09:35 PM
Go to the wake and pay your respects, you do not need to send flowers as you didn't know the kid, and just sign the guestbook. It will likely be a mob scene, and your boss will be overwhelmed anyway, but just go and pay your respects. You do not need to linger at the wake, just long enough to shake hands, and pay your condolences.

09-20-2010, 10:27 PM
I agree with Karen and if your uncomfortable have Mike go with you and keep it brief.

Its too bad your coworkers aren't reaching out to you more its no fun when you don't connect with at least some of your coworkers, I hope it comes with time.

Laura's Babies
09-20-2010, 10:53 PM
A wake/viewing are pretty much the same thing. I would go, put in an appearance, sign the book and leave a sympathy card in the book for them. There will be no need to hang around and socialize if that is not your thing. I usually just go and make an appearance, sign the book and say hello to anyone there I know but I never hang around long.

09-21-2010, 07:55 AM
How sad. I have to agree with the others, go to the viewing. You don't have to stay very long. Seeing you there will mean a lot to your boss.

09-21-2010, 08:26 AM
I agree. Go to the visitation, put in an appearance. No need to stay long. Sign the book, shake hands with the Boss and his family members, and off you go.

09-21-2010, 09:37 AM
Decided to make a appearance on Thursday afternoon at the wake. I just feel like I need to do it. Today's my Birthday, but I can't help but be sad over this experience, knowing this young man died only at 17. And, I'm 26 today. I couldn't sleep a wink last night, I was bothered by dreams and restless sleep. I know I didn't know him much, but yet it bothers me. Hopefully I will enjoy my day, I plan on getting off work early.

09-21-2010, 08:32 PM
Yes totally agree.
I am so sorry for their lose.

How sad. I have to agree with the others, go to the viewing. You don't have to stay very long. Seeing you there will mean a lot to your boss.

09-22-2010, 07:20 AM
My condolences to your boss.

09-22-2010, 01:06 PM
I would go and give condolences.

09-22-2010, 02:42 PM
:( Yes I do aggree with the others.. Do pay your respect but be breif..

RIP young man.. Such a very sad situation..

09-22-2010, 06:32 PM
I plan on going. Just to stop by, pay my respects, then leave. It's going to be a very difficult thing to do. Of course, it always is. The saddest part is that they spent the day/most of the evening at Cedar Point, and they were driving home. He was the driver. He drove and dropped off his friends, and then he was the last one to go home. He was the only driver. He never made it. He was so tired and fell asleep, and that's when it must have happened, head on collision with a dump truck. I just can't imagine. I just hope my boss & wife, their friends & family members find peace in this situation someday soon. Just only can hope.

09-22-2010, 08:27 PM
Oh my gosh that is so incredibly sad. I hope some day the pain will stop being so raw.

09-23-2010, 04:41 PM
I just got back from attending my boss' son's wake, it took 2 1/2 hours to just say my respects.. it was a huge turnout. I was able to hold it all in, then I just lost it after I left, because he had a sister, and I just couldn't imagine losing my brothers the way she lost his. It was a very emotional moment. Just glad I did it, and I feel better.