A request to parents

[Marigold2]

Dear Neighbors,
I have just returned from working 10 hours at the Dr’s office answering 150 phone calls. I have dealt with everything from eye cancer to contact lens, glaucoma to glasses, your senile mother with macular degeneration to the four year old who screamed when drops were put into his eyes. I am tired and hungry.
I still have to make dinner and do a load of laundry, plus take care of my fur babies, spend time with my daughter and husband and say hello via phone or e-mail to my three boys. Tomorrow will be another long day.
I have put dinner in the oven, fed and watered the pets, started the wash. It is now <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comhttp://petoftheday.com/talk/ /><st1:time Hour=8pm</st1:time> and I am taking my decaf coffee outside to sit on my swing and enjoy the flowers I spent months planting, weeding and growing.
And then here come your kids…………………..
They are cutting across my lawn, front and back. Yelling, screaming, fighting and the girls are screeching so loud my ears are actually ringing. Shut up shut up shut up I want to yell at the kids but of course that would be rude. You the parents seem to be already deaf or are able to turn out the incredible screeching that only a seven year old gaggle of girls can produce. I am near tears. I just want a few quite moments that’s all. That can’t be too much to ask………………
I heard noise all day, answered so many phone calls, listened to so many problems, questions such as, I had surgery Sat can I wash my hair, can I fly, bowl, swim?
Why won’t my insurance pay this bill? I didn’t bring my checkbook, I can’t pay for this. I want to see the Dr. NOW. I have lost sight in my right eye two days ago, should I make an appointment? Yes you should, unless you want to be blind for life I want to say but don’t.
And there I sit on my swing; cup in hand and the screeching begins with the girls trying to out do each other. The boys are yelling and mom and dad, well I just don’t know what the hell is up with them. They have either tuned the whole thing out; become deaf or just don’t care.
I have actually thought about taping the noise and going up to the neighbors and making them listen to it. I just don’t understand, either way my evening is ruined. I have to go inside and close my windows, can’t hear the TV above the screaming and now have to turn the air on.
I raised three kids. My oldest Slacker was hyperactive. I understand that kids are not going to be quite BUT at the same time parents need to teach their kids that yelling, screeching, cutting through people’s lawn is not allowed.
Just a nice evening sitting and relaxing, listening to the birds and wildlife, smelling my roses is that too much to ask? I just hate living in a development. Hate it. I would prefer living next to a field. I really think it is time to move. But on the other hand, why should I have too? :mad::mad::mad:

[Whisk_Luva]

Sorry you are having such a stressful time Monica :(

I don't have any solutions to offer, so I will just send you lots of ((Hugs))

[Cataholic]

Maybe you could try the tactics you use on here? Honesty with little tack?

"Your kid is bothering me. Please tell them to shut the hell up."

[caseysmom]

Sounds like your in the wrong line of work (working with people) and in the wrong neighborhood (near people).

[pomtzu]

Oh my...........:p:p:D:D

[Karen]

I don't think she's in the wrong line of work, caseysmom, I just think she had a bad day. It happens to everyone.

Marigold, please talk with your neighbors. Explain that you don't want to be a "grumpy old lady" but that they are yelling so loud that it really does hurt your ears. Explain that the loudest yells should only be used for real danger, as of now, someone could be trying to abduct their kid and no one would react because they yell so much all the time!

Explain that you don't want to call the police or anything, but they really are disturbing the peace, and if they could just tone it down a few decibels after 6 p.m. (or whatever time you usually get home), you would truly appreciate it. Sometimes a simple conversation is all it takes.

Then, if nothing changes, you could try talking to the kids, if you are up to it, maybe while holding a kitty that would be amenable to being petted and fussed over, and that might work.

It is worth a shot, after all!

[momoffuzzyfaces]

I so totally relate to you! Thankfully for me, my neighbors with the yelling kids finally moved. I still have a neighbor who seems to know when I'm about to drop from pain and exhaustion and need to got to bed. Then he blasts me out with his stereo.

I call him. He says, "oh, sorry". Shuts down for a while, then at 1 am he's at it again. I want a deserted island some times. sigh

(((HUGS))) to you! :love:

[Bonny]

Marigold, Karen has some good ideas there to try. Then once again there are the busy body negative rude people on here. Ignore them! Tomorrow will be a better day. You maybe have post traumatic vacation disorder, just hit you with a snow ball. ;) (((HUGS)))

[Twisterdog]

Indeed, sounds like a bad day at work. And true, we all have them once in a while. I would suggest that it really depends on how many "bad days" there are, though, whether or not it's really a bad day, or a bad job, or a bad fit. Only you can answer that.

As for noisy neighbors ... I personally enjoy silence a lot. I would love to live miles from anyone. Can't afford it though. Sometimes my neighbors are quiet, sometimes they are noisy. And OTOH, sometimes my kids and dogs are quiet, sometimes not so much. And different people have different levels of noise tolerance. What is "screeching" or "screaming" to you or I might be "laughing" and "playing" to your neighbors. There really isn't a "right" or a "wrong".

Legally, most towns have noise ordinances, which kick in after a certain time, generally about 10:00 pm. So, if people are indeed screaming loudly after that time, you probably could call the police. But at 6:00 pm or 8:00 pm ... highly doubtful. They cannot legally cut across your grass. But is that really the battle you want to pick to start the war?

As Karen said a polite conversation - when you are not angry or frustrated - might work. Worth a shot. But if the parents think their kids are simply playing and laughing like kids normally do, there really isn't much you can do at 8:00 pm. It is outdoors after all.

[Marigold2]

I have been here for 15 years and have never said anything to my neighbors about the noise problem. One neighbor has been here with me the whole time, another is new with two little girls 5 and 7. This development has mostly stay at home moms. I have a neighbor who is a lawyer, dentist, another owns a computer company, one neighbor is a scientist, one works for a bank, another owns a movng, company, there is a retired detective down the street and of course my good friends the retired Dr and his wife. Mostly however it is stay at home mom's with young kids. The mom's shop, go to lunch, take their kids to lessons and hang out. Most have lawn care company's and in the morning the entire development is filled with the sound of lawns being moved and trimmed.
Today was actually my day off. It was however the last day of school my neighbor with the two screaming girls informed me. So it made me sad because I knew any quite evenings I had were gone.
As for cutting across my lawn I own a huge corner lot and kids cut across all day lawn, their baseballs fly across, their dog comes across which I don't mind, little girls stamper across in bathing suits to go to one anothers pools to avoid the hot sidewalk etc etc etc. The old neighbor had a trampoline in the backyard next to mine and there were tons of kids on the darn thing screaming for hours. What ya gonna do? Kids will scream in pools and that is life, they have short memories, five minutes later it continues to eye splitting levels. Show me a kid that doens't scream in a pool and I will be shocked.
And it's not that I am a fuddy duddy. I still go to nightclubs to hear blues, R & R dance and hang out. I am the women who is laughing her head off at the party because I find so many things funny and I don't take offense at of color jokes, BUT a little peace and quit in ones own backyard is a right.
Bonnie I didn't see any negitive comments. I have several people on ignore, it's like their posts don't exist.
Karen excellent advice which I might try yet I understand small kids playing, I don't understand parents who don't want the volumn turned down.

[caseysmom]

You claim to put me on ignore yet you reply http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=160821 to my posts???

[catnapper]

I sooo understand your frustration. We had to put up a fence to avoid people walking through our yard. That's what sidewalks are for!

We have neighbor's dogs who potty on our yard. Nursing home employees smoking on our sidewalk. The WEIRD nieghbor kid who stands on our lawn and talks to tools (YES, TOOLS.... hammers, screw drivers, etc.... creepy little kid). McDonald's cups and wrappers all over our lawn.

I tell you my neighborly woes, not to outdo yours, but to show you how much I understand. I want to throw poop on the doggy's home. I want to throw up on the people who smoke and make me, well, throw up. I want to call the nuthouse to take care of that weird child (I bet you we'll be seeing him on the news in about 15 years for some creepy stalking issue). I want to scream at Micky D's to provide a trash can on my property :p

But we were raised to be polite and deal with it. Because if we actually said something to our neighbors, we'd be the ones with an attitude problem.

[chocolatepuppy]

I work in a noisy factory all day long. Some days, when I get home and take my dogs out, the neighbor ties his dog out and and it barks non stop!!!:mad: Not the way I want to spend my home time.:rolleyes: Some days it bothers me more than others. I can see where you're coming from Monica.

[snakemama]

How frustrating. You are nicer than I am....but I genuinely dislike kids!

I've found a sound machine to be a very worthwhile investment since my new next-door neighbor's kids like to play soccer and my bedroom window is in exactly the wrong place. -_- A little white noise in the evenings is quite soothing, and drowns out a lot of the screeching.

[Sirrahsim]

wow. Heaven forbid happy children run outside and play and holler when mandated quiet hours are not in effect. Perhaps we parents of youngsters should shut them up in the house and give them each a video game to keep them quiet and docile (and fat). There is a reason that volume levels are referred to as "indoor" voice and "outdoor" voices. Griping about children playing outside is completely ridiculous and as a mother I am ridiculously offended that you would be offended.
Put up a fence and earplugs if you don't want to hear children play. :mad:
*rant over*:D

[Lilith Cherry]

The sound of happy children playing noisy outdoor games should not be offensive to anyone:confused:Sorry you had a bad day Marigold but please try to see the other point of view ( as in Sirrahsim's post) as well as your own. Relax and let the sounds be a part of life;) or go for walk somewhere quiet instead maybe?

[kittycats_delight]

I know the frustration of too much noise. We live in a country area. Behind out house are corn fields. Our street has at most 20 house but in those 20 houses there are about 40 kids. The really unfortunate thing is that for the most part kids here are completely unruly. They have no discipline at all. The parents only speak up (outside the home) when the kids are bothering them. IE: when they are talking to another parent or friend and the kid keeps bugging. And then if the second parent is there you always hear from the one not being terrorized. 'Leave him/her alone.' Otherwise it is a free for all. It is really something to be seen. The fact that one parent is continually telling the other to leave the kid alone and let them do what they want gives the kid free reign to play one against the other and then you have anarchy. Thankfully our street is fairly tame in comparison to many.

There is one thing that drives me completely insane and that is the barking dogs. My dog barks at strangers and she hates when other dogs are too close to her territory but she responds when told to stop or called. But I have mentioned this before the people that live upstairs (we live in a duplex) have 2 collies and they are incessant barkers. But with all honesty I don't blame the dogs. I blame the owners. There are several 'barkaholics' in the neighborhood. And for the most part they are little dogs who are allowed to run loose. They make their rounds to the gate of the dogs who are closed in their own gardens and start a barking war. This I despise. I have witnessed the owners of these dogs stop and watch the dogs and wait for someone to say something. I had a massive migraine a few days ago. The owners of 2 of these dogs were out talking to the neighbor and these little rats (chihuahua) came to my gate and started the war games with Artica and the 2 dogs upstairs. I called Artica and put her in down/stay. The 2 little ones kept it up anyway...I went to the gate and sent them away or tried to at least. The stronzo owner (husband) actually started yelling at me for yelling at his unrestrained dogs that were causing all the problems. How can you fight these things. The owners are people of influence (government) and make life difficult for anyone who gives them grief.

Anyway...I kinda went off there...the issue is not the kids or the dogs etc. The issue is the parents for the most part especially if they are small kids. Kids get over excited and use voices that are more than outdoor but lost in the jungle voices. LOL If the kids are let do what they want and not checked then that is how it will be.

Another quick example. We were out to dinner the other night. A family with 3 kids came in. 2 girls about 6 & 9 and a little boy about 2. The oldest girl was quiet as a mouse as was the little boy. You would never even know they were there. The middle girl was like an auctioneer. She never shut up for 1 second and she was super loud. The parents never once spoke to her to be quiet. The restaurant was large (could hold about 500 people) and the wait staff kept getting complaints from out diners. They (different waiters/waitresses) went several times to ask the parent to please have the little girl quiet down some as she was disturbing other guests. (We could hear the entire conversation as we were just 2 tables away) The parents would said 'certamente' (certainly) and then say nothing. Finally the owner went to the table to ask them to keep her a little more quiet or maybe take a table outside where she could make all the noise she wanted and the father went off on him. It was unreal. Some people have no respect for others and it is their way or no way. Sad...very sad really that 1 family should be allowed to ruin the meals and time of so many.

[Medusa]

That's a toughie b/c kids are overflowing w/energy, especially now that school is out. My neighbor has two little girls and I call them Air Raid Siren One and Two. (to myself, that is) I swear, all they do is scream but it's as though they can't help themselves. They just HAVE to let it out. LOL Frankly, when I hear and watch them, I'm a little envious. What I wouldn't give to have that kind of energy and enthusiasm again. My neighbor to my right has two barking dogs that bark at air all day long. I've managed to tune it out. They're good neighbors, both of them, and they work long hours, too, and the last thing I want to do is complain to them when they come home dog tired. However, if kids or dogs trample through my flowers and are destructive, then that's another issue and I will definitely speak up but the kids stay on their property and the dogs are fenced in. Such is life in a neighborhood. In an odd way it reminds me of my own childhood. I think you just had a case of jangled nerves that day, Monica. Given all the things you experienced in one day, it's no wonder. Perhaps try ear plugs. I wear them on occasion and they block out the irritating sounds but I can still hear the birds chirping. Good luck. :)

[wombat2u2004]

[QUOTE=Marigold2;2270295] Bonnie I didn't see any negitive comments. I have several people on ignore, it's like their posts don't exist. [QUOTE]

That's the best way to keep the peace mate.
I have a few that I consider as troublemakers on ignore to.
And if ya can't read their tripe, ya gotta be better off...eh ??? ;)
I'm sure it doesn't take them long to figure out who they are when you don't take the bait that they lay.

I suppose I am lucky kid wise. There are a few in my street, but they're sort of down the other end, so there is no bother.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I have a difficult time understanding why the sound of happy children playing should ruin anyone's night. :confused:

[pomtzu]

wow. Heaven forbid happy children run outside and play and holler when mandated quiet hours are not in effect. Perhaps we parents of youngsters should shut them up in the house and give them each a video game to keep them quiet and docile (and fat). There is a reason that volume levels are referred to as "indoor" voice and "outdoor" voices. Griping about children playing outside is completely ridiculous and as a mother I am ridiculously offended that you would be offended.
Put up a fence and earplugs if you don't want to hear children play. :mad:
*rant over*:D

I couldn't agree more.........

I imagine the parents of the kids who live in "developments" (in the form of a high rise) in the dirty and dangerous cities, would give anything to live in a "development" of nice houses and well manicured lawns, and the sound of noisy and screeching kids. No - the kids they hear screaming and screeching all too often, are the ones who are victims of violence, or a drive by shooting, and many other things too horrific to even mention. You made your decision to live in a cushy environment of nice homes and yuppies with young children, then you need to accept the life style that comes with it. If you can't be part of it, or don't wish to be, then yes, you do need to move to somewhere, where your neighbors are empty fields and the wildlife that wanders thru the area.

[sirrahbed]

Oh gosh, sounds like a horrible day!! I have them sometimes and find that sounds are magnified and I feel like screaming and going insane!! I keep a bag of foam earplugs in my nightstand for such days and they DO help! Another investment I am loving is a hepa filter air machine. It has three levels and *high* is VERY helpful to fill the room with soothing white sound and drowning out the outside noises I don't always enjoy. Asking that playing children quiet down in the early summer evening is unreasonable in my opinion (though very tempting!)

[Karen]

I have a difficult time understanding why the sound of happy children playing should ruin anyone's night. :confused:

The sounds of happy children playing and the sound of kids screaming are two different things. For a while, one of the neighborhood children was fond of emitting bloodcurdling screams that were really jarring. Thankfully she grew out of that, and is now a oh-so-dignified teenager!

[moosmom]

I'm sorry, but aren't there any noise ordinances in your area? I lived above a guy who was a drunk, who played the same old vinyl album of "Together Forever" by Perry Como. :eek::rolleyes: His living room was directly under my bedroom. After a while, I called the cops. They heard it from 3 blocks away.

I moved out shortly after that. The apartment was perfect for one person and cats (it had an enclosed porch). But the a-hole downstairs ruined it for me.

Apartment living is difficult. Sometimes ya just gotta ignore it.

[Killearn Kitties]

Perhaps it's your neighbours' revenge for swapping their campaign signs. :p

[snakemama]

Wow, heaven forbid anyone feel differently than you do about kids. I don't like them. I don't have to like them. I don't do anything in my home that affects their lives, so I don't see the problem.

I actually *COULD* call the main office here and get them to stop the kids playing soccer outside my window (It's in the lease, since the windows are so low here there aren't supposed to be any games with balls within twenty feet of the buildings) but I chose to get a sound machine instead.

When I moved in here, I was emphatic to the management that I was looking for a *quiet* place, and she assured em over and over that it was "tranquil" here. Well, it's not. I feel that I was lied to, and I'm leaving this place ASAP partly because of that.

[Marigold2]

One can say the same thing about many sounds. The sound of birds can be beautiful but not at 4 am when you are trying to sleep. The sound of rain to many is relaxing to others depressing. A summer storm can be exciting and romantic or frightening. The soft buzz of a lawn mower is lovely at 1 pm but not so at 8 am when you finally get to sleep in for the first time in two weeks.
And children playing it's a beautiful sound. I raised three and babysat for many many years. Had tons of baseball games in our backyard, duck duck goose, water fights, kids on swings, in sandboxs, playing school, taking a radio outside and dancing all the wonderful things kids do. I had it for over 20 years. What I don't like is screeching which is different then playing or laughing or singing. It is a sound like fingers on a chalk board times 10 and the little girls try to out do each other. Also when you have a neighbor with a pool or trampoline and there are 5 to 10 kids playing they will be loud, which is normal but it is loud. If you are trying to just sit in your yard and relax or have friends over for cocktails and dinner you cannot hear each other over the sound of kids screaming hours on end it is not pretty. Any sound regardless of it's beauty played too loud or too often will get on ones nerve. There will come a time when your child says mommy once too often or why once to often and for just 10 minutes you would like a quiet time with no sound. Or your child will cry once again at 2 am and you have to be up at 6 to get ready for work and you will wish for quiet, doesn't make you bad or unloving, just human to want a few moments of silence.
I have a difficult time understanding why the sound of happy children playing should ruin anyone's night. :confused:

[Marigold2]

Exactly!!!

The sounds of happy children playing and the sound of kids screaming are two different things. For a while, one of the neighborhood children was fond of emitting bloodcurdling screams that were really jarring. Thankfully she grew out of that, and is now a oh-so-dignified teenager!

[catnapper]

I adore my Cameron. Adore him as if the sun rises and sets around him. I live to hear him giggle. I want to duck for cover when he screams. Its high-pitched and loud. I don't want to hear him scream, so people who don't love him probably think its the most nerve-wracking thing. Of course I try to stop him, but when he's cranky....... stopping a speeding bullet might be easier.

I completely understand how you wouldn't want to hear strangers' kids screaming while you're trying to relax and unwind.

[Medusa]

One can say the same thing about many sounds. The sound of birds can be beautiful but not at 4 am when you are trying to sleep. The sound of rain to many is relaxing to others depressing. A summer storm can be exciting and romantic or frightening. The soft buzz of a lawn mower is lovely at 1 pm but not so at 8 am when you finally get to sleep in for the first time in two weeks.
And children playing it's a beautiful sound. I raised three and babysat for many many years. Had tons of baseball games in our backyard, duck duck goose, water fights, kids on swings, in sandboxs, playing school, taking a radio outside and dancing all the wonderful things kids do. I had it for over 20 years. What I don't like is screeching which is different then playing or laughing or singing. It is a sound like fingers on a chalk board times 10 and the little girls try to out do each other. Also when you have a neighbor with a pool or trampoline and there are 5 to 10 kids playing they will be loud, which is normal but it is loud. If you are trying to just sit in your yard and relax or have friends over for cocktails and dinner you cannot hear each other over the sound of kids screaming hours on end it is not pretty. Any sound regardless of it's beauty played too loud or too often will get on ones nerve. There will come a time when your child says mommy once too often or why once to often and for just 10 minutes you would like a quiet time with no sound. Or your child will cry once again at 2 am and you have to be up at 6 to get ready for work and you will wish for quiet, doesn't make you bad or unloving, just human to want a few moments of silence.

All excellent points. :)

[Karen]

A childhood friend of my sister's lost most of her hearing in a riding accident when she was in her twenties. She now lives a couple states away, but when her first child was about 2 1/2, they were visiting my sister one day when I was there. At one point, her son decided he didn't want to be ignored, and let out the most high-pitched and piercing noise I have ever heard come from a human being. As we all simultaneously jumped, flinched and covered our ears, the sound abruptly stopped as the mom reached down and clapped her hand over her son's mouth.

"Mommy can HEAR that noise" was her simple explanation! Thankfully, he learned not long afterwards to never use that noise outside of his own home again!

[carole]

Wow i think some of you totally over-reacted to Marigolds Post, and took it so personally, which is was not IMO,i can hear what she is saying, she was not being offensive to anyone with kids, being a mother herself, we all have had noisy kids ,your kids can play, have fun ,make some noise without being over the top, it is called consideration for others.

I love the sound of hearing kids happy playing , i have two or three across the road from where i live,but she is not talking about that, screaming is another story, and hey give her a break, we all have bad days, where we cannot tolerate things we normally could, and as you get older your toleration for noise gets less,one day you will be older yourself, so keep that in mind.

I completely understand what she was saying and i think it was taken totally out of context.

[krazyaboutkatz]

I live in a condo on the second floor so there are people above me and below me as well as on both sides of me. I've lived here for a little over 21 years now. I know that there will always be noise but I've also noticed that as I've gotten older that loud noise and crowds bother me much more now than when I was younger. I've also had my share of very rude and noisy roommates in the past. Now this is unacceptable and I'm now finally living by myself. Many years ago I decided to start wearing ear plugs while I sleep and this has helped me a lot. Now even when I sleep some where else I need to sleep with ear plugs or it just doesn't seem right.

When I've visited my brothers home, I wasn't used to hearing screaming, crying children so this really bothered me so I can relate to what you're saying. Children playing happily is a different story and it doesn't bother me at all. I still say that I'd rather have cats that are eternal toddlers than children living with me at this time in my life. At least you live in a house where you can shut out most of the noise.

[Cataholic]

No question, screaming children would bother me. It might make me think something is wrong, at first, but then I would be irritated. Little girls seem to be the worst offenders, though J can screech (and I quickly remind him not to).

However, barking dogs, leaf blowers, car horns, music too loud, and drunk adults also bother me. I live in a subdivision and expect that I will have to put up with noise.

As a parent to a little child, I don't necessarily take offense at people and their anti-children comments. BUT, I do recognize that if I said, "I hate fat people", or "I hate smokers", or "I hate old people", or "I hate dogs/cats", or "I hate mexicans" (and, no, Richard..this doesn't include you), people would probably call me on the comment. As they should. I don't get the concept of 'hating' or 'disliking' a child. You don't want a child, wonderful..don't have one. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. But, to pretend the comment about not liking a child won't raise hackles is kind of silly. To me.

[Marigold2]

That is so funny..............
A childhood friend of my sister's lost most of her hearing in a riding accident when she was in her twenties. She now lives a couple states away, but when her first child was about 2 1/2, they were visiting my sister one day when I was there. At one point, her son decided he didn't want to be ignored, and let out the most high-pitched and piercing noise I have ever heard come from a human being. As we all simultaneously jumped, flinched and covered our ears, the sound abruptly stopped as the mom reached down and clapped her hand over her son's mouth.

"Mommy can HEAR that noise" was her simple explanation! Thankfully, he learned not long afterwards to never use that noise outside of his own home again!

[Cookiebaker]

Hummm, interesting thread. I have a 3.5 year old, and I have taught her to be loud outside only. When we are inside and around other people, in stores, in a restaurant, at the mall, etc. she is not allowed to scream, screech, or be excessively loud. And she knows that when she has freedom outside she can be as loud as she likes. That is what the great outdoors is for. ;)

Sorry you are irritated Marigold, but kids will be kids. Maybe if you took the time to know the children, took an interest in what they are doing or playing you wouldn't feel irritated any more. And you might just make the life of a child that much richer for it.

[Catlady711]

I am unfortunate enough to be surrounded by 4 houses of screaming, tresspassing kids like those, (that moved in after I was already here). I can TOTALLY empathize with your day and wanting peace when you got home. My neighbors are so bad that when the kids finally get too loud even to them, they scream obsenities out their windows back at the children to shut up. Then we wonder where they learned to scream in the first place. :rolleyes:

I solved the tresspassing (which included digging holes in my back yard, ripping a shrub of mine in half with their bare hands, shooting my songbirds, and shooting the veggies in my garden with BB guns) by calling the cops repeatedly for tresspassing and destruction of propery, and often including video or pictures of them doing it (since the parents would often say 'my kid couldnt have done that). While the parents think I'm 'mean' and 'picking on their children' for not letting their kids use my yard like their own personal playground, I no longer have much problem with the tresspassing.

That said I felt the need to comment on a couple things in particular.



What ya gonna do? Kids will scream in pools and that is life, they have short memories, five minutes later it continues to eye splitting levels. Show me a kid that doens't scream in a pool and I will be shocked.


I was raised not to scream unless I was hurt or someone was trying to take me. My mom always emphasized that if I were to scream all the time she'd never know when I was actually in trouble. I also spent alot of time at my grandparents trailer at the lake. I was explicity told that there was to be NO screaming near the water unless I was drowning or in trouble otherwise people would never know the difference. Not that I never talked loud or was in a fit of laughter with my friends, but I was raise that you NEVER scream unless you are hurt, or in trouble. Failure to follow that rule resulted in one warning only, if it was repeated then I had to go in for the remainder of the day and be quiet.


Perhaps we parents of youngsters should shut them up in the house and give them each a video game to keep them quiet and docile (and fat). Put up a fence and earplugs if you don't want to hear children play. :mad:
*rant over*:D

go for walk somewhere quiet instead maybe?

Rather than shut the kids up with a video game, why not take the time to actually play and interact with them and teach them the difference between 'outdoor voices' and screaming? Why should one be forced to wear earplugs in one's own house because parents haven't taught their children the difference between 'outdoor voices' and 'screaming'? Why should a person be forced the expense of putting up a fence because parents haven't taught their children that tresspassing is not only rude but ILLEGAL? Why should a person have to go somewhere other than their own home to have quiet time? Why can't the kids go to a local playground if they want to be loud, that's what those are for?

I'm always amazed when I go by a park how FEW children are actually there, and even fewer parents with them.



Hummm, interesting thread. I have a 3.5 year old, and I have taught her to be loud outside only. When we are inside and around other people, in stores, in a restaurant, at the mall, etc. she is not allowed to scream, screech, or be excessively loud. And she knows that when she has freedom outside she can be as loud as she likes. That is what the great outdoors is for. ;)

I would hope that you either don't have any close neighbors, or that your child's version of being loud outside doesn't include screaming. Otherwise in giving your child her 'freedom', you are taking away the freedom of your close neighbors to have quiet in their own home. And if your child typically screams outdoors, how is anyone to know when she is actually hurt or in trouble?



The sounds of happy children playing and the sound of kids screaming are two different things.

AMEN!!

[carole]

I think when this generation gets older they will feel much the same, it just goes with age, your tolerance levels are not as high as when young,i think it is just considerate to teach your children to not be too loud, my kids always enjoyed playing, laughing, but i would not let them go over board, as i would consider others, i have a real elderly neighbour, so i thought about her when the kids were little, why can everyone not do that? it is not that hard, and it does not mean kids cannot be kids.

There is a time and place for everything .

[Cookiebaker]

I would hope that you either don't have any close neighbors, or that your child's version of being loud outside doesn't include screaming. Otherwise in giving your child her 'freedom', you are taking away the freedom of your close neighbors to have quiet in their own home. And if your child typically screams outdoors, how is anyone to know when she is actually hurt or in trouble?



I refuse to feel guilty about allowing my daughter to be loud in the great outdoors. I don't believe in the mentality that children should be seen and not heard. I believe in training children to be loud when and where its appropriate, and likewise to be quiet where its appropriate. Children are not much different than some pets in they have lots of energy that needs to get burned off or they go stir-crazy. The great outdoors is exactly where that energy should be burned off!!!! Fresh air, under the great blue sky, in the green grass. If you take that away from children, then what is left???? And for the record, my daughter does not go outside before 9 am, and is inside after 7 pm.

There is a BIG difference between happy-shouting and hurt-screaming....a BIG one. There is no mistaking one from another. ;)

Face it, its part of living in society that we get along with other people, and they get along with us. We have a neighbor who goes to work at 4 am, when they tie their big German Shepherd out....said dog barks from 4 am until sunup every single day.

We have neighbors on our left who 3-4 times a summer throw loud parties, all night long on the river. This includes loud(!) music and fireworks at 11 pm, 2 am, 3 am etc. These neighbors also are in the habit of 1-2 times per month filling our house up with smoke when they decide to burn some super stinky trash.

Do we complain? No. We grin and bear it because we know that we also likely have just as annoying habits to them as they do to us.

One reason that I love Jesus so much.....He wasn't ever annoyed with children, He welcomed them with open arms and said, "Let the little children come to me", even though they were dirty, loud, and in the way.

[Karen]

There is a BIG difference between happy-shouting and hurt-screaming....a BIG one. There is no mistaking one from another. ;)

I beg to differ on that one, you never heard my neighbor child when she was younger. She never was kidnapped or threatened, thankfully, but you would not have known it from her screams! I don't know how many times I went out to check, to see her playing, not in trouble.

[Randi]

Why should one be forced to wear earplugs in one's own house. Why should a person have to go somewhere other than their own home to have quiet time? Giving your child her 'freedom', you are taking away the freedom of your close neighbors to have quiet in their own home.
I so agree with this! There's been days it was so noisy here that I couldn't read, couldn't concentrate on work I had to do on the computer, and not even be able to hear what they said on TV. That really is annoying! :mad: So I can certainly sympathise with some of you.

[momcat]

Marigold, I understand exactly what you're saying and I couldn't agree more. There are kids next door to us that scream and or cry constantly. We're on the first floor of a rowhouse and our upstairs neighbors moved a few months ago. These brats keep running up the stairs yelling and screaming the whole time. The parents play the radio so loud at night you'd swear it was in our place. The police have been called several times, things change for a day or two then the noise level goes off the chart again. Ours always was a quiet neighborhood, the other kids on the street play outside and have a great time without excessive screaming. They don't have to shatter everyone's eardrums to have fun or let off steam.

[mruffruff]

I agree completely with Catlady711.

I too was taught not to scream unless it was for a darned good reason. The kids today haven't been taught that there is a difference between yelling and screaming.

My neighborhood has a few screamers. One day I approached them while they were playing. I told them the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. I explained that I was worried they were being hurt when they screamed, but I understand yelling and playing 'cause I was young once.

That seemed to work. They now have kids of their own who visit. They play outside and get loud, but no screaming.

Unfortunately, too many people forget that their right to make noise bumps into others right to quiet.

[carole]

well said.

[Catlady711]

I refuse to feel guilty about allowing my daughter to be loud in the great outdoors. I don't believe in the mentality that children should be seen and not heard. I believe in training children to be loud when and where its appropriate, and likewise to be quiet where its appropriate. Children are not much different than some pets in they have lots of energy that needs to get burned off or they go stir-crazy. The great outdoors is exactly where that energy should be burned off!!!! Fresh air, under the great blue sky, in the green grass. If you take that away from children, then what is left???? And for the record, my daughter does not go outside before 9 am, and is inside after 7 pm.

I've never believed in 'seen but not heard'. Yes the 'great outdoors' is fine for making loud noises, but not near close neighbors whether that's in your own backyard, or a campground, or public place with people's homes nearby. And certainly screaming one's head off is never appropriate unless you are injured or in trouble.

You are a rarity since your daughter goes in after 7. In my neighborhood children are out screaming until at least midnight some nights in the summertime, and many times unsupervised at that.


There is a BIG difference between happy-shouting and hurt-screaming....a BIG one. There is no mistaking one from another. ;)

Not in my neighborhood!!! I long ago gave up checking on the neighbor kids for trouble when I realized they were ALWAYS screaming as if in pain, when they were only playing. Heck at this point the entire neighborhood is so accousomed to their screams I'm sure they could be murdered right in the street or kidnapped and not one person around here would check outside to see what was going on since there would be no difference in the sound.


Face it, its part of living in society that we get along with other people, and they get along with us. We have a neighbor who goes to work at 4 am, when they tie their big German Shepherd out....said dog barks from 4 am until sunup every single day.
We have neighbors on our left who 3-4 times a summer throw loud parties, all night long on the river. This includes loud(!) music and fireworks at 11 pm, 2 am, 3 am etc. These neighbors also are in the habit of 1-2 times per month filling our house up with smoke when they decide to burn some super stinky trash.

And I have, and do, call the police on every one of those. Getting along with people doesn't mean having to be tortured by unnecessary noise in your own home for the sake of you being able to be as noisy as you want in return.




One reason that I love Jesus so much.....He wasn't ever annoyed with children, He welcomed them with open arms and said, "Let the little children come to me", even though they were dirty, loud, and in the way.

And also in the bible:
Psalms 131:2 Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother

Isaiah 32:17-18 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places;

1Tim. 2:2 For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.



I beg to differ on that one, you never heard my neighbor child when she was younger. She never was kidnapped or threatened, thankfully, but you would not have known it from her screams! I don't know how many times I went out to check, to see her playing, not in trouble.

Gosh Karen, I feel for you!! I think your neighbors must be related to mine!!:eek:

[pomtzu]

I don't know about anyone else, but I would much rather have the annoyance of the kids squealing and screeching, than listen to the teenager next door who has his car loaded with stereo speakers, and he sits in his driveway for an hour or more at a time, with the volume turned up so loud, that it vibrates the windows and thuds thru the walls of my house. There is no closing the widows to get rid of that damn doom-boom-boom, and the sound carries great distances!
And I'm not talking about his house so close that I can reach out my window and touch his - his driveway is a good 400' from mine. Listen to that for a while and then see if the kids are still all that annoying! :mad:
And sorry - there are no noise ordinances in the rural areas. :(

[Bonny]

Pomtzu, That would call for an early (5:30) in the morning:eek: round of Whoopi John Polka music:cool: full blast when that kid is trying to sleep from a night out on the town. :D

[Taz_Zoee]

I don't know about anyone else, but I would much rather have the annoyance of the kids squealing and screeching, than listen to the teenager next door who has his car loaded with stereo speakers, and he sits in his driveway for an hour or more at a time, with the volume turned up so loud, that it vibrates the windows and thuds thru the walls of my house. There is no closing the widows to get rid of that damn doom-boom-boom, and the sound carries great distances!
And I'm not talking about his house so close that I can reach out my window and touch his - his driveway is a good 400' from mine. Listen to that for a while and then see if the kids are still all that annoying! :mad:
And sorry - there are no noise ordinances in the rural areas. :(

We live right next to a park that has a public pool and tennis/raquet ball courts. A parking lot between the tennis and raquet ball courts is right over our fence. We often get the thumping cars and it is sooo darn annoying! Now we don't have screaming children so I have nothing to compare it to. But I did work with children in day care for 12 years so I'm not a stranger to how noisy that can be. :) But I agree, screaming children anyday over the bass of a stereo.

[Karen]

his driveway is a good 400' from mine. Listen to that for a while and then see if the kids are still all that annoying! :mad:
And sorry - there are no noise ordinances in the rural areas. :(

Well, at least you know that he will pay - if he's not already suffering hearing loss, he will be before long! Sad, and preventable damage, and the effects are cumulative - they lose hearing, so turn it up louder, so lose hearing so ... Maybe mail some generic booklet on preventable hearing loss to his house, anonymously!

[pomtzu]

Well, at least you know that he will pay - if he's not already suffering hearing loss, he will be before long! Sad, and preventable damage, and the effects are cumulative - they lose hearing, so turn it up louder, so lose hearing so ... Maybe mail some generic booklet on preventable hearing loss to his house, anonymously!

How true Karen. I was always preaching to my kids when they were growing up, about the eventual effects of playing music too loud.

Sure - I could send something to his house, but I doubt that this one has the intelligence to even be able to read it! :eek:

[Karen]

How true Karen. I was always preaching to my kids when they were growing up, about the eventual effects of playing music too loud.

Sure - I could send something to his house, but I doubt that this one has the intelligence to even be able to read it! :eek:

Yes, but his parents could use it to bludgeon him upside the head!

[Alysser]

I think it's so rude when people my age blast the stereo in their cars or elsewhere. I know I hate the annoying vibrations that come with loud music, let alone hearing the music itself! I hate hate hate when the 14 year olds down my block practice their horrible guitar playing in the garage with the door wide open. SO annoying! My sister is 19 and BLASTS the music in the car where I need to scream over it to here her. I am 17, and would NEVER do it. I can't stand when anyone else do it. I think I blasted my music once when I was on I-95 just to piss an a$$ doing the same thing off.

[momcat]

Hi Ellie, Over here we get both, often at the same time. The screaming, crying brats AND the shatter your windows blasting stereo of their parents from the same place...right next door. Weekends? Forget about it! Several people on our street have called the cops a number of times. It quiets down for a day, maybe two then it's right back to "let's shatter the neighbor's ear drums".

[Catlady711]

I don't know about anyone else, but I would much rather have the annoyance of the kids squealing and screeching, than listen to the teenager next door who has his car loaded with stereo speakers, and he sits in his driveway for an hour or more at a time, with the volume turned up so loud, that it vibrates the windows and thuds thru the walls of my house. There is no closing the widows to get rid of that damn doom-boom-boom, and the sound carries great distances!
And I'm not talking about his house so close that I can reach out my window and touch his - his driveway is a good 400' from mine. Listen to that for a while and then see if the kids are still all that annoying! :mad:
And sorry - there are no noise ordinances in the rural areas. :(


Hi Ellie, Over here we get both, often at the same time. The screaming, crying brats AND the shatter your windows blasting stereo of their parents from the same place...right next door. Weekends? Forget about it! Several people on our street have called the cops a number of times. It quiets down for a day, maybe two then it's right back to "let's shatter the neighbor's ear drums".


Ok, are both of your neighbors related to Karen and my neighbors?

One of the neighbors who had the worst of the screaming tresspassing kids several years ago. Well those kids are teens now and have graduated to hollaring obscenities and the boom boom radio. It's in the trunk of the car, which apparently has to be full blast before the car can be started, and up until it shuts off. Car is a beater so I'm guessing they think the boom boom is required for it to run?? And it also requires twice a week 'tuning' which means standing in the side yard with the trunk open, radio full blast, and having your friends gathering around it looking at I have no clue what, then getting in and out of the car (which requires slaming the doors of course) and back to stare at the trunk again. Unfortunately it doesn't quite drown out the screeching of the little girl on the other side of me when she's in the pool. *sigh*

I think in general the population is so inundated with loud sounds coming from screaming commercials, loud malls/restaurants, loud music, video games, traffic noise, and possibly screaming parents, that the kids have no hearing left to begin with and think the whole world has to be loud all the time.

[carole]

having lived next door to the neighbours from hell a few years ago for almost a year, no children, just continous loud parties nearly every single night, i sympathise with anyone suffering this, it is totally inconsiderate and for me it took a real toll on my health,everyone has a right to peace and quiet within their own space.

[Karen]

Ok, are both of your neighbors related to Karen and my neighbors?


To clarify, the little girl in my neighborhood who used to yell like that is now a driving-age teenager, as tall as me, and with a certain gravitas and dignity, and no one now would ever suspect that it was her who was the worst! Her younger siblings never developed that habit, even though both younger sisters are far chattier than she ever was!

My neighborhood is far quieter now, even though the number of small children has increased over the years as new families moved in!

[Catlady711]

To clarify, the little girl in my neighborhood who used to yell like that is now a driving-age teenager, as tall as me, and with a certain gravitas and dignity, and no one now would ever suspect that it was her who was the worst! Her younger siblings never developed that habit, even though both younger sisters are far chattier than she ever was!

My neighborhood is far quieter now, even though the number of small children has increased over the years as new families moved in!

Wish mine was quieter! As new families with younger children move in, the behaviour gets worse and worse with each set! I used to think that having kids shooting my vegetables in the garden with BB's was as bad as it could get till I saw a 7 year old rip one of my shrubs in half, to the ground with his bare hands, and didn't even blink or look sorry when I went out to scold him!!

[Lady's Human]

I always liked the on post rules regarding stereos in cars.

If the MP can hear it with the windows in their cruiser closed, it's too loud and subject to confiscation.

[Pinot's Mom]

All I can do is sympathize with you all. I have been there, though not in a very long time, and hated it as well. We now live in a place where, most of the time as a friend put it, you can hear a pin drop....

I hope you can somehow correct your noise issues.

[Cataholic]

At 8 am this morning, on my enclosed (but windows opened porch) Jonah let out a scream that startled both me and my neighbor (who was out in the backyard). We BOTH said something to him about it...the fact he scared both of us, the volume, the tone, the hour (thankfully, everyone but the two of us have on their A/C, etc.). I think he really 'got' the wrongness of what he did, and why it shouldn't be done. But, I do know he will do it again. He is a child.

WHY did he scream? The cats were running out the front door as he was trying to get out. His scream had its rightous affect on them. :p

[Catlady711]

I always liked the on post rules regarding stereos in cars.

If the MP can hear it with the windows in their cruiser closed, it's too loud and subject to confiscation.

There's supposed to be a 'law' here that says if you can hear a radio clearly at 50 ft then it's in violation of the noise ordinance. The problem is it's never enforced. And it's impossible to call the police if they're just driving up and down your street since they most likely won't be there when/if the cops do show up. The only time it works if it's at home during a party or something when it's a sustained noise. Last time I called the cops on the neighbors for the volume of the radio the dispatcher asked me to turn MY radio down so she could hear me. I explained that it wasn't MY radio, it was the neighbors. They dispatched a cop immediately and the cop was shouting at them from the moment he got out of his car but they couldn't hear him. Finally when he was within 8 feet of the homeowner they could finally hear him and only turned the music down at that time because they couldn't hear him talking!! :rolleyes:

I wish they would enforce that, and I like the idea of confiscating the stereo! lol

[pomtzu]

Since I live in a rural area, it's pretty hard to get cops involved in anything short of a murder.

There are several motorcyclists that use this road as a drag strip. They ride these "souped up" crotch rockets at a good 100 mph (I'm not exaggerating!) up and down the road. This has been going on for quite some time, and I truly don't see how that someone hasn't been killed yet. Unfortunately when (not if) it does happen, it will be an innocent party that was in the wrong place at the wrong time! No way to get a tag number to turn them in, as they are literally a blur going by, and no way to follow them to see where they live because of their excessive speed. They might not even be from this area.

People have complained to the police, but they can't do much, since by the time they got out here (a good half hour drive to the nearest state police barracks), there's nothing to investigate. Do a stake-out??? - too busy attending to a sure thing.

Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place..........:mad:

[Lady's Human]

Since I live in a rural area, it's pretty hard to get cops involved in anything short of a murder.

There are several motorcyclists that use this road as a drag strip. They ride these "souped up" crotch rockets at a good 100 mph (I'm not exaggerating!) up and down the road. This has been going on for quite some time, and I truly don't see how that someone hasn't been killed yet.

get a few people with pickup trucks, on call if possible, and when they start, block one end of the road and close in on them from the other end. Dial 911 from a cell phone and wait.

[sasvermont]

Oh my. I have lots of neighbors including those with children, and thank goodness we never hear a peep out of anyone. There is one dog that will bark when he hears human voices close by. Every now and then I will hear a cow making a gawd awful noise when they take her calf from her ..... but that is about it. I have heard construction noises lately but oh well.

I do live in the country but managed to luck out with the neighborhood.

I don't understand why people have to annoy each other. I played outside as a child and had lots of fun. No neighbor ever complained because we were in bed at some early hour in the summer....like 7 or 8. How much noise do you need to make if you are playing on a swing or playing games? I think some parents forget to teach their children to be considerate of others. If the shoe fits...... It is not necessary to scream at the top of your lungs except when there is an emergency. Really. I learned that at quite a young age. It is not a difficult thing to teach or learn. Will it happen sometimes, surely, but it could and should be the exception.

I have a close friend who has a day care. When the kids are outside, you hear noise, but pleasant, fun, loud noises....not screeching. It can be controlled, but someone has to want to control the level. My friend will not allow screaming like a banchee at her day care.