Learn From My Fail - LFMF

[Catty1]

http://learnfrommyfail.com/

Pretty good - can't put pics here though because of the site's encryption. But check it out. :)

OH heck - good old copy and paste!



[1] When picking up a dark object in the bedroom at night, consider that it might be a black cat. [2] Picking up a black cat by the head is not a pleasant experience for either party. #LFMF


If you own pets and there is an unidentifiable object on your floor, don’t poke it to try to figure out what it is. Just don’t. #LFMF



When you have a presentation early in the morning, make sure nobody has changed the background of your computer overnight to a statement declaring your undying love of dongs before you turn on the projector. #LFMF

[wombat2u2004]

Hee hee....they are very good :p

[happylabs]

Pretty funny! I couldn't see the pics. Having the warped sense of humor that I have, my favorite was the one about the Korean Map. :D

[Catty1]

There are no pics, just the words. (Which may be a blessing...;):D )

[DJFyrewolf36]

If you’re ever in a busy shopping centre during a black out, resist the urge to say anything, because while yelling “Oh God! Does anyone else hear that ticking sound?!” may seem witty and fun…I can assure you the off duty policeman next to you will not...

Hehehehe :D

[king2005]

This is a similar site that I enjoy readying every few month.. some is stupid & fake, but some of it is crazy funny!

http://www.fmylife.com =fml

f=naughty word...

[wombat2u2004]

Pretty funny! I couldn't see the pics. Having the warped sense of humor that I have, my favorite was the one about the Korean Map. :D

Naughty naughty !!! :D

[happylabs]

This is a similar site that I enjoy readying every few month.. some is stupid & fake, but some of it is crazy funny!

http://www.fmylife.com =fml

f=naughty word...

Oh yea. The college kids like this one. I have been there. Some are funny. Some are just dumb.

[Catty1]

Some more...;)


Don’t marry a woman whose Italian father owns a "construction company" in New Jersey if you have tendency to ask invasive questions like "why would anyone in their right mind pay you in cash" #LFMF

Submitted by: not the favorite son-in-law via Submit Page


"all the beer you can drink" is not a challenge… #LFMF
Submitted by: Drunk via Submit Page


When attempting to light a gas fire pit, do NOT lean over it to listen for gas. Yes, it is on. Yes, that "Burnt Hair" smell stays for about a week. #LFMF


Chocolate Milk does NOT make Chocolate Cottage Cheese. #LFMF
Submitted by: Evan via Submit Page


Before flying into school and making a huge scene about a teacher writing "retard" in your son’s school book, check it was not a French school book and the teacher was pointing out, in French, that the homework was late. #LFMF
Submitted by: Adam via Submit Page

[Catty1]

more


If, while trying to light a barbeque on the deck of a houseboat, you somehow end up with a burning can of gasoline, before you instinctively throw it into the river it’s worth considering that the gasoline will float on the surface, still burning, and set fire to three neighbouring boats. #LFMF

Submitted by: Corey Trevor via Submit Page

[rosethecopycat]

Candace,
I've already submitted one!
I hope they post it.

Keep a look out for 'learn from Mamarosa's fail'
K?

[Catty1]

K! Good to see you! How are ya? :)

[Catty1]

If you haven’t used your coffee thermos in a while, always check to make sure mold hasn’t grown inside it, before you take a big swallow from it at your desk. #LFMF
Submitted by: Still rinsing my mouth with bleach via Submit Page


When walking in public and you think a spider MAY be in your shirt make sure it’s not just your shirt’s tag before screaming and throwing off said shirt. #LFMF
Submitted by: NakedTime via Submit Page

[Catty1]

If you own cats DO NOT buy cutesy ink pens with marabou feathers on them. Cats can not tell difference between a writing implement and a fun now toy, nor do they care if they shred your hand while you’re signing a rent check with their new toy. #LFMF
Submitted by: NewlyLefty via Submit Page

[lvpets2002]

:) Those readings were pretty funny.. LOL

[Catty1]

Always check your shoes before putting them on. Sometimes your cat has been lavishly sick in one of them. #LFMF
Submitted by: divamentalis via Submit Page


Spell check does NOT catch the missing ‘r’ when you email your wife that "I spent the day under the car with a greasy wench." #LFMF
Submitted by: T.Rob via Submit Page


When you have a curious 6 year old girl in the house, do NOT leave your razor out in the open, otherwise you will find her three hours later with both eyebrows shaved off and school pictures the next day. #LFMF

Submitted by: Eyebrows grow back… right? via Submit Page


NEVER assume your kittens’ paws are wet because they scratch in the water bowl. ALWAYS assume your kittens’ paws are wet because they walked through urine. #LFMF Submitted by: litterboxtrainer via Submit Page

[Catty1]

Just because an unexplained pain "feels a little better" does not mean you can leave the Emergency Room. If it was bad enough to bring you there, it’s bad enough to be your appendix exploding. #LFMF
Submitted by: Almost Died via Submit Page


Fetus shaped cookies are not an appropriate treat to bring to a baby shower. No matter how twisted you and the mom-to-be are, it doesn’t mean her family is. #LFMF
Submitted by: Baby Nommer via Submit Page


When flipping the bird and shrieking at a driver 2 blocks from your workplace, make sure you know EXACTLY what kind of car the new VP drives. #LFMF
Submitted by: Does Not Meet via Submit Page


When referring to your boss as the "Spawn of Satan" in an email to a friend, make sure to delete it from the history and close your email program before going to lunch. Sometimes the Spawn likes to sit at your desk while planning the taking of your soul. #LFMF
Submitted by: Iamsodoomed via Submit Page

[Catty1]

It doesn’t take much to break the plastic closure on the back of a bikini top, especially at the waterslides. #LFMF
Submitted by: notdoingthatagain via Submit Page


When upgrading your phone and selling you previous iPhone to your mum, remember to delete all your ‘adult’ bookmarks from the browser. #LFMF
Submitted by: SheffordLad via Submit Page


A Dremel is not an acceptable means of tattoo removal. #LFMF
Submitted by: tattooed and scarred via Submit Page

[Catty1]

more


Never assume the small rodent shivering on your store’s windowsill is a hamster, no matter how much it looks like one, or the fact that PetSmart is right next door. Bats are VERY good at completely hiding their wings beneath them, and don’t care so much for being scooped into boxes. #LFMF
Submitted by: I Touched a Bat via Submit Page


When packing a backpack for a short trip, be careful how you store your electric toothbrush. It could go off while you and everyone else on the bus is sleeping. While you’re trying to fish it out and turn it off, no one will believe that sound is coming from a toothbrush. This is especially embarassing in a foreign country. #LFMF
Submitted by: Buzz via Submit Page

[Catty1]

Oh noes......!!!!


If you husband was born and raised in Manhattan and you now live in the south, never leave him alone cleaning out unwanted vegetation in the yard unless you have taught him what poison oak looks like. As soon as he finishes pulling all those vines off the trees without gloves on, he will go in the house to take a leak without washing his hands first. #LFMF
Submitted by: No love for 6 weeks via Submit Page


Gentlemen, never play with your new puppy without a shirt on…to a puppy, a nipple’s a nipple, no matter the gender or species. #LFMF
Submitted by: One Headlight via Submit Page


If your girlfriend asks you what your relationship goals are, don’t reply with "two girls and a boy." You may be talking about children, but she will assume you meant a threesome and cry. #LFMF
Submitted by: SleepingOnTheCouch via Submit Page


When being in a foreign country don’t randomly yell insults in your own language at people assuming they cannot understand you. #LFMF
Submitted by: DrunkVacation via Submit Page


Take your dentist’s advice and go home after a wisdom tooth extraction. Do not go back to the office. You WILL email your customers and they WILL NOT like what you have to say. #LFMF
Submitted by: Happy In Vicodinland via Submit Page


Never assume the small rodent shivering on your store’s windowsill is a hamster, no matter how much it looks like one, or the fact that PetSmart is right next door. Bats are VERY good at completely hiding their wings beneath them, and don’t care so much for being scooped into boxes. #LFMF
Submitted by: I Touched a Bat via Submit Page

[Catty1]

lol


If someone calls your office and asks to speak with Dick, don’t say "do you know his last name? There are a lot of dicks who work here," at least not when your boss is within hearing range and has a mouth full of coffee. #LFMF
Submitted by: Julie via Submit Page


When the TSA agent at the airport asks if you are a US Citizen, do not reply,"What happens if I say I’m not?". They will show you, very clearly. #LFMF
Submitted by: Little Room via Submit Page


If that fancy new cheese you bought seems unnaturally chewy, check to see if the waxed paper backing is still on it. #LFMF
Submitted by: Bill E Goat via Submit Page


When your husband (Ex now)says he likes your thongs, make sure he means on you. Because when you walk in and see him trying them on, you’ll never wear them again. #LFMF
Submitted by: Traumatized via Submit Page