View Full Version : Updates on my life

03-07-2010, 06:03 PM
Hello everyone!! Remember me??!! ha, ha, ha....

Just wanted to check in and give you a brief update on why I have not been around.

Some of you remember that I have been taking care of my dad, who has dementia, well......he passed away on Tues. 3.3.10. he kept getting a fever, then recover from it, but each time he got worse & worse.

I was with him all weekend and his girlfriend (who also has dementia) kept asking when he was going to get better.....try answering that question. She last saw him on Sunday. I was there first thing on Monday morning, Hospice told me that he would probably pass that day. He didn't. I went home around midnight on Monday and slept in my clothes thinking I would get 'that' call. It never came. I was back there by 8 am and stayed until 6:00 pm. Hospice took over again and at 8:30pm we finally got the call..... we instantly left the house. The facility was only 5 minutes away, but by the time we got there, he had passed.....2 minutes before.

Even though we were fully prepared for this, I still took it very hard (which surprised me because I thought I was ok...) :(

He is being creamated and services are later this week. I know my father is in a MUCH better place, he now can hear clearly, think full and complete thoughts along with being able to speak full and complete sentences. Godspeed, daddy!

My life changed 3 years ago, I had to become a caregiver, something I knew nothing about and now once again it has changed, I can go back to the way it was.....which I'm not too sure I know what that was :eek:

Thanks for listening.....


03-07-2010, 06:13 PM

Freedom is going through much the same thing as you did; I so feel for both of you.

I think it is only natural to get upset...he WAS your dad, and plus, just the release of stress from all those years.

Yes, I am sure your dad is walking and speaking, hearing, thinking and more!

As to going back to what you were before, I never did after my dad died.

"What I am to be I am now becoming."

And take your own time getting there.:love:

03-07-2010, 06:48 PM
I am so sorry about the loss of your father. I hope someday the pain will ease and the good memories will be bright.

03-07-2010, 06:50 PM
May he rest in peace, an rejoice in reunion with all who have gone before.

03-07-2010, 07:23 PM
I am so sorry about the loss of your Father. May he rest in peace. :(:love:

03-07-2010, 09:59 PM
Of course i remember you well, so sorry you had such sad news for us all, please accept my sincere condolences at this difficult time in your life.

Yes life will be different and I am sure you will be feeling somewhat lost, just take comfort in knowing he is at peace now and you were a great daughter to him in his time of need,thinking of you and HUGS.:love:

03-08-2010, 12:57 AM
Bunny, I'm so sorry to hear about your father's passing.:( My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

03-08-2010, 04:36 AM
I am so sorry about the loss of your father.
I took the passing of my mom whom I had seen to decline for years much harder than the passing of my dad who some years earlier had a heart attack.
Caring for somebody and seeing him getting worse nearly from day to day seems to create a special relationship.
Now is the time to be sad and to open yourself for these feelings which I am sure you had to suppress in the last years often enough.
And then you will find your life again.

03-08-2010, 08:06 AM
Someone said once "I'm sad for you and happy for you". Sad that you've lost your dear father but happy that your life can now get back to normal, even though you say you're not quite sure what that is. And as Catty1 said, take your time getting there. May your father RIP. Keep the faythe.

03-08-2010, 08:39 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss. :( I can imagine how hard it has been for you the past few years, but now your father is at rest. Although it may take some time, your life will gradually change back to normal, and you will always have the memories. :love:


03-08-2010, 09:15 AM
Oh Bunny,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I think there alot of us here being forced into the "caregiver" role. Back in 1994 after my Dad, who was a bad alcoholic, started going down hill. I only wish that they had the information then that they have today. It would've helped me understand it more.

It's not something we ask for, rather something we feel is our duty to our parents. Afterall, they took cae of us, right?

I hope your heart will heal in time. It's been 13 years since my Dad died. It still hurts and I miss him terribly. I'm still on the mend.

:love: and hugs,

Donna and fur crew

Pawsitive Thinking
03-08-2010, 09:25 AM
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. Even though you are prepared when illness is involved and you know its a blessed release for them it still hits you like a ten ton truck. Take care of you and remember all the good times with your Dad xx

03-08-2010, 03:00 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy and you sound like you did a wonderful thing for your dad.

My prays are with you and your family.


03-08-2010, 03:22 PM
I went thru the same thing.....

You will sit around for a while and feel 'useless'. You will feel like there is nothing for you to do now....

IT's a hollow, empty feeling that you need to fill with your life now. everyday take a few minutes to occupy your mind/time and you feel better as time goes on.

Our parents are lucky when then have someone to look after them. You honored that for your dad and you should be happy and proud.

Sending you some good thoughts.

03-08-2010, 07:24 PM
I do agree w/what Catty1 says.....she spoke it well.....take care of yourself....

03-08-2010, 07:26 PM
Sorry for your loss, tis a tough thing to go through. Take care of yourself.

03-15-2010, 09:11 PM
Wow.....thank you everyone!!

The services were this past Thursday 3.11.10 and as expected my mother & sister tried to be center of attraction. But what really surprised me was my uncle (dad's youngest brother).

We were all eating lunch when the priest asked me to come up and give a few words (YIKES!! :eek: talk about going blank!! :eek: I had NO idea he was going to do this to me) so after I fumbled over some thank yous, i turned to my uncle (the only person I saw) asked him to give a few words about my dad, and guess what he said??!! "NO! I'm busy now, leave me alone!!"

What both of us didn't realize was that the micraphone was on and EVERYONE heard his rude comment!!

Needless to say, we all know who the horses a$$ was.

Anyway, that part was all over and done with, now the money - fun is going to begin, so grab some popcorn, drink, sit back and watch the show........ENJOY!

Talk about justice! What an ^&*&%^%$! Sorry but he disserved that!!

Laura's Babies
03-15-2010, 09:42 PM
Sorry about your loss. Loosing a parent is always hard and suddenly finding yourself with nothing to do is hard also. Life will come back to you and you will have a life full of great things before you know it. God will bless you for taking care of your dad. ((((HUGS))))

03-15-2010, 10:21 PM
Catsnclay, (((HUGS))) please accept my sympathy for your loss.

Praying and thinking of you,