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View Full Version : It's only fair, don't you think?



Randi
03-03-2010, 01:35 PM
There have been so many losses recently and I know how people suffer. :( I get all teary eyed just reading the posts.

I truly think that people should be allowed to take three days off from work after losing a beloved cat or dog. The pain is very real - for some as real as losing a family member, and I know I could not deal with customers in that situation. I cried for three days after Fister's mom died, and I didn't even like her that much.

A girl in the building had her 18th year cat put to sleep recently, I met her a week after in the street. She told me she simply had to take three days off from work.

What's your view on this?

Catherinedana
03-03-2010, 02:16 PM
When my quaker parrot, Zoot, died, I was in mouring for quite some time. I tried to go to work the next day but couldn't function. I took two more half days after that and then tried to get on but it carried over for about 3 months and affected every aspect of my life including my performance at work, my relationship with my husband and my view of the world. He was with me for 12 years, my constant companion - always on my shoulder or somewhere near me. He was one of those special guys who just understood - and I'm sure you all know what I mean by that. I used to call him my other husband! When I buried him in my yard, I wanted to climb in after him and just cover myself up with the earth. I'm crying now writing this and he is gone since March of 2008.

My boss kind of understood what was going on, but couldn't really relate so I think in some ways she thought I was a bit ridiculous, although she tried to make some concessions for me. I had my review in June that year and it was mediocre at best because my concentration and focus had been so low and I was making a lot of mistakes. That was when she and I had a long discussion about what was going on and I tried to make her understand that I lost a family member, not "just a bird".

At my job, we are allowed 3 bereavement days when someone in the immediate family dies. Do they really think that if my mother or husband passed 3 days would be enough to get on with my life? So why would I ever expect that they will give me a bereavement day for the loss of one of my birds? Most people don't understand the relationships we all here at PT have with our companion animals. Should anything happen to one of my other babies, I will take time off and try to recoup to the best of my abilities.

slick
03-03-2010, 02:39 PM
My company would not go for it for a pet. My Manager would not let me take 3 days off after Max passed. Heck, he passed around Noon and I was at my desk by 2pm. **shakes head**:(:(

catmandu
03-03-2010, 04:25 PM
After I lost some of My Found Cats :( I did not feel like going to work at all.
:( But there were other Found Cats to feed , and I had the comfort of knowing that they were with me until we met again :love:
One Fine Day :love:

happylabs
03-03-2010, 04:29 PM
I think if a pet owner needs it, they should be allowed to take it. For me it was better for me to come to work and not be at home thinking about missing Casey so much.

pomtzu
03-03-2010, 05:17 PM
When I was still working and lost a fur baby, I took a personal or sick day when needed.

I'm afraid companies would never give bereavement time for pets. Not everybody feels about pets as PTers do. There are too many people with the "it's just a dog/cat/or other" attitude. :(

wombat2u2004
03-03-2010, 05:49 PM
There are too many people with the "it's just a dog/cat/or other" attitude. :(

Too many of them around.

Kalei
03-03-2010, 06:29 PM
I completely agree! For many people with the biggest of hearts, a cat or a dog is another family member to them. I think anyone should be allowed 3 days off for an animal they loved that passed away...what's the point of having the person at work if they can't concentrate or do their job right anyway? It doesn't help the company.

It makes since to me, but sadly there are too many people today that think animals don't even have feeling :(

Alysser
03-03-2010, 06:42 PM
Back then I worked in Games at Six Flags, I knew Sassy was getting put to sleep that friday, so I took off the weekend. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle work - hated that job anyway. I don't even remember the days following her death. It all seemed like a cruel joke at the time.

I think you should be able to take off 2 or 3 days after the loss of a pet, they count, to many of us here as family members. It only makes sense, sadly some bosses will not view it that way, hell some bosses get mad when you take off for PEOPLE dying. I know my friend got "fired" from SF when she called out to many times because her grandpa died. :eek:

DJFyrewolf36
03-03-2010, 07:03 PM
The law I think in the US is you are allowed at least 3 days for an immediate family member (parent, child, sibling) Grandparents I know aren't usually covered so I doubt anyone would force the issue on a pet :(. The problem with grief and loss is people dont get it unless theyve been there and trying to get compassion out of someone who hasn't gone through similar situations is like trying to make a rock bleed. :(

Vette
03-03-2010, 08:15 PM
some bosses get mad when you take off for PEOPLE dying. I know my friend got "fired" from SF when she called out to many times because her grandpa died. :eek:

Sad but true. especially from Wal-mart bosses im sure,, since they treat their employees like crap.

i was still in school at the time when i lost my first childhood pet,, but i took the unintuitive to take a couple days off from school. didnt see the point in going if i couldnt function. so i think everyone should be allowed time off work after the passing of a beloved pet if thats the best for them. some like to keep busy during sad times.

Taz_Zoee
03-03-2010, 08:41 PM
When I let Taz go it was Thursday July 2nd. So I already had the next day off for the Independence Day holiday and then the weekend. I also didn't talk about it too much. I waited a couple weeks before telling one co-worker and when I told her we both cried together.
But I agree with happylabs, being at work is easier because I'm not home seeing all the places he would sleep or expect him to come jump in my lap.

Catherinedana, I got tears just reading your post. :(

Suki Wingy
03-03-2010, 09:02 PM
I remember being in 8th grade and one boy who was a bit rude to me at times took a day off of school because his husky was getting pts. The other kids laughed at him when he came back the next day and they asked the reason he was absent. It made me really mad and I remember standing up for him.

That being said, I think the very best thing for me to do when Deacon died was get right back to work. Was my head in it fully? No. A couple of kids got mediocre at best lessons, but everyone understood why I was so distracted. He was my baby and I lived right at the barn so I walked by his stall and said hi to him multiple times a day, every single day. Right away my boss put another one of her horses in his stall, which at first seemed weird but I think it was actually for the best.

catnapper
03-03-2010, 09:36 PM
When Nicki passed, I left work, saw her at the vet, and turned around and went back to work!!! :eek: What on earth was I thinking? I suppose it was shock... a few days later, my one coworker told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and get over it. I was surprised because the person who said that is an animal communicator!

Catherinedana
03-04-2010, 07:52 AM
my one coworker told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and get over it.

Sometimes I wonder if some people even have feelings. I've heard this from others who have lost their parents as well as pet (or should I say "especially pets). Compassion and empathy seem to be a rare commodity. :(

Cataholic
03-04-2010, 11:09 AM
There are no national laws in the US as it relates to bereavement periods. It is a company by company decision. Many of us are blessed to have sick time, vacation time or personal time. If you need to stay home, and have the appropriate time to use, use it.

The problem seems that many, many people use up all the allotted time on 'fun' days and have nothing when it comes to emergency type situations. The other issue I have seen in my years in the work place is the abuse of sick time. The person that calls out with every sniffle is probably not going to have the relationship with his/her boss to call on when something emergent occurs.

I tend to save all my time...never knowing what might come up later on in the year.

Pawsitive Thinking
03-04-2010, 11:18 AM
Must remember to hug my boss. He really understands his staff and always says to us "take as long as you need" no matter what the circumstances. Tends to have the effect of making us feel better and actually want to make the effort to come to work.

Cataholic
03-04-2010, 11:28 AM
Must remember to hug my boss. He really understands his staff and always says to us "take as long as you need" no matter what the circumstances. Tends to have the effect of making us feel better and actually want to make the effort to come to work.

I couldn't agree more. It is like a bank account, generally, if you (the employee) makes lots of deposits into it, when it comes time for a withdrawal, the bank (employer) approves or authorizes it. Not all the time, but, most of the time, IME.

krazyaboutkatz
03-04-2010, 12:44 PM
Yes, I agree that we should be able to take time off after the loss of a pet if we feel we need to. In the past I've just taken one day off for my RB Pepper and my RB Starr but that was also the same day that they were PTS which just happened to be a work day. I still wasn't ready to go back to work yet but I did. I also used a vacation day for this.

Since my current vet works on Sundays I decided that this would be a better day to have Sunny PTS so I didn't have to miss work. I really should've taken Mon. off because I was still in a lot of pain.:( Work does help me keep my mind off of things but on my breaks or even while driving to or from work I'll catch myself thinking about Sunny and I'll start getting all teary eyed again.:( My boss is understanding about this because he too has lost some pets before so he knows the pain that people go through.

lizbud
03-04-2010, 07:12 PM
There are no national laws in the US as it relates to bereavement periods. It is a company by company decision. Many of us are blessed to have sick time, vacation time or personal time. If you need to stay home, and have the appropriate time to use, use it.




That's the way it is in this country. I've always been in a situation
where I have personal, sick or funeral leave to be used. It would be nice
if businesses allowed time off to grieve our pets. Maybe 50 yrs from now
it might happen,but not in my lifetime.

wombat2u2004
03-04-2010, 07:25 PM
Talking about bereavement.
Carol, my mates sister in law had a cat called Timmy. She loved Timmy like mad, and used to do everything for him. One day Timmy died, and Carol was just walking about the house as if nothing happened.
When her father suggested to her that they have some kind of small funeral for Timmy, her reply was "No, Timmy is dead now, just throw him in the bin."
Go figure !!! Some people !!!!

K9karen
03-04-2010, 08:37 PM
I think time off to mourn a beloved pet is reasonable. For those folks who don't have pets, well, too bad for you.

I had a wonderful boss many many years ago who gave me a week with pay (unbeknownst to others) to mourn the death of John Lennon. My dad was in the hospital at the same time, so it was a double whammy for me. My dad wanted me with him because he felt my pain and wanted company. I also "paid her back" by being the highest producer that year (and 5 years after) so it made her look good too. She and I have kept in touch occasionally. Funny how you bond with certain people instantly.
I was so lucky and extremely grateful. I know, I know "teacher's pet" :rolleyes:

Lori Jordan
03-04-2010, 08:52 PM
You are all right,Some Bosses just dont get it!

When i was in my early 20's i lost my cat Sweetie,He and i grew up together and he moved in with me after i left home,Needles to say the say i lost him,I found him in the morning he never showed any signs of being sick,he played,ate normal everything was great,Well little did i know how much they hide these things.I woke up he was gone,Anyways i went into work that afternoon and as soon I got there they knew something was wrong with me.I told one lady what happend and of course started crying,Then you get a bunch of people telling me how sorry they were,NOT MY BOSS!I went in asked him if i could have 15 minutes to get things together,He told me get on cash or i was fired,I basically told him what i thought and i told him I QUIT!Bad decision but your emotions are all over the place,I should have known better,But you live and you learn.

Pawsitive Thinking
03-05-2010, 05:09 AM
I was surprised because the person who said that is an animal communicator!

Can't have been a very good one then! How insensitive can you get?! :mad:

pomtzu
03-05-2010, 08:06 AM
Talking about bereavement.
Carol, my mates sister in law had a cat called Timmy. She loved Timmy like mad, and used to do everything for him. One day Timmy died, and Carol was just walking about the house as if nothing happened.
When her father suggested to her that they have some kind of small funeral for Timmy, her reply was "No, Timmy is dead now, just throw him in the bin."
Go figure !!! Some people !!!!

That just breaks my heart (and turns my stomach)! How could anyone do that to a beloved pet??? :mad:

wombat2u2004
03-05-2010, 08:09 AM
That just breaks my heart (and turns my stomach)! How could anyone do that to a beloved pet??? :mad:

Well that was many years ago. And if it's any consolation, I was talking to my mate last month, and actually brought up that subject. He said to date she hasn't had any luck in life.
I wonder why !!!!

Maya & Inka's mommy
03-05-2010, 09:53 AM
I agree 100% !!!
After my Sydney's passing, it felt as if I had lost a real child!!

Lots of people didn't understand my grief:mad: and told me "it's just a cat :rolleyes:" :mad:

I love my cats sooooooooo much, they are like my children to me!!

krazyaboutkatz
03-05-2010, 12:42 PM
I agree 100% !!!
After my Sydney's passing, it felt as if I had lost a real child!!

Lots of people didn't understand my grief:mad: and told me "it's just a cat :rolleyes:" :mad:

I love my cats sooooooooo much, they are like my children to me!!

Unfortunately many people feel this way.:( I never married and I have no children of my own so my furkids are my family and the children that I never had. Luckily the few people at my work who know about Sunny's passing have all been very compassionate towards me. There are some people that I wouldn't even bother telling because they would say "what's the problem he was only a cat.":mad::( Sometimes even my parents don't quite understand why I spend so much money on my cats by taking them to the vet etc.:(

Lillycat
03-06-2010, 10:28 AM
this " rallying round" the person who has lost their pet..... as i read many of these posts I found myself saying "yes, that is how I felt" realizing that PT people truly understand each of our losses.....you all gave me such support recently .....thank you all again for that!

moosmom
03-06-2010, 02:19 PM
Randi,

I totally agree with you. Losing a pet is like losing a loved one. Within 5 months I lost my soulmate, MooShoo, my heart cat Mollie Rose, my best friend Clare, my childhood friend's mother and two newborn kittens that really didn't have a chance. Talk about a double whammy.

I was fortunate in that I had days off after Moo died (I stayed in bed for 3 days). Mollie Rose I took 2 days off. We have a lot of animals loves, rescue people in the store, especially the manager who totally understood.

Randi
03-06-2010, 03:17 PM
Thanks for your views, I knew that PTalkers would have the right attitude. I want be employed by a PTalker! :D

I'm happy for those of you who can cope; in fact I might be be able to also, if the atmosphere where you work is good, but I can assure that most bosses here would not understand people grieving over a cat or a dog. I'm just thinking... would it have been different back in the fifhties or sixties? I don't think so.

pomtzu
03-06-2010, 06:00 PM
I'm just thinking... would it have been different back in the fifhties or sixties? I don't think so.

Gosh Randi - I don't think so. I think it probably would have been worse back then.

In this day and age, we do so much more for our pets than previously. Gourmet and specialty foods, grooming, day care, fancy as well as functional clothing, medical treatments and procedures that compare to human healthcare, big specialty stores like Petsmart, toys galore, and on and on. I think there are more sympathetic individuals now who realize that pets are not only animals, but a family member. Years ago, I think pets were thought of more as animals we owned, not family members.

For the most part, it probably would have been unheard of for an employer to be even somewhat understanding of an employee's pet's death. I do think things have come a long way, tho not enough.