I need specific/detailed advice, please.

[Taz_Zoee]

I know several of you have been through this and that's why I need your help. I've read the threads of how you will know when it is time to let your animal go. But I am having a very hard time with it.
Taz has been up and down. I know this happens. I remember Mary's Puddy going through the ups and downs. But it's tearing me apart. There are times that I feel it is time to let him go. Like today, he stayed in the bathroom by the toilet pretty much ALL day. So that's when I was thinking it was time. Then he just came out meowing at me for food. Now I'm thinking ok, maybe it's not time. Then I think, if he is in pain I don't want him to be.
This past Friday I had to give him his meds. When I gave him the antibiotics and Maalox he growled at me. He's NEVER done that. Then while we were doing his sub-q's he was growling and tried several times to get away from us. I am so glad I have Bruce to help me. I honestly don't know how someone could do this alone (Mary, you are amazing). We have to do his fluids tonight and I'm not looking forward to it. I don't like him to be in pain and it's even worse when I feel like I'm the one inflicting the pain.
Another problem I'm facing is at the end of July we are going on a motorcycle trip and will be gone for 12 days. My mom will have the cats and I know she will take good care of them. She'll do his fluids and everything. But I'm scared he will go when I'm not with him. And I don't want my mom to feel responsible.

UGH! I hate this! I just want a straight CLEAR answer here. :(

[catnapper]

Honestly, you'll know when its time. I knew last year with Nicki, but I just couldn't put her down... I just couldn't do it. I'm sure when it truly is time, you'll KNOW.

((((HUGS))))) to you.

[happylabs]

I know this is so hard for you, and, yes, I have been through it several times. I think catnapper is right...you will know when it is time. Hang in there. You are doing an awesome job of taking care of Taz. HUGS from us too!!!

[jenluckenbach]

It is never easy. You always question yourself. Am I / Did I do the right thing?

I have had to make the decision 7 times. Each time I knew that even though the pet might have been able to live longer, the pet was NOT acting like their normal self.

You know your pet and if they are not acting interested in the things they used to live for, then it could be time.

With Brighteyes, she was having difficulty breathing.
With Amanda, she stopped eating and her diagnosis told us she would never eat on her own again.
With Bear (at 20 years) he was just ready, tired, uninterested, and stopped eating.
With Y.Lee, his diabetes never became regulated and keeping him alive would have meant MANY more vet trips, and he stressed so badly at the vet that subjecting him to more tests would have been cruel.
With Lucas, after over 9 months of diarrhea I could tell he was just tired. He stopped playing our nightly game of chase and seems to be just existing.
With Rutherford, he became distant. A cat who literally LIVED to sit on your lap would just lay in the hall. And his breathing was starting to be labored.
With BraveHeart, seizures started, and we had already tried everything.

Each time I wondered "should I try just one more thing"? but the answer was usually in their eyes. PLEASE, let me go. :(

You will never truly know what their wishes are, so you have to be strong enough to balance the desire for them to live with the reality of life and death.

And never be afraid to admit that money IS a factor! Even if we were all super billionaires, I's not always right to keep a pet alive JUST because there is a new treatment to try. I've seen people do EVERYTHING, and I don't believe the pet always benefits.

Sorry so long. Just feel it in your heart.

[Taz_Zoee]

Thank you all for your responses. I can hardly see through my tears.

He is back in the bathroom again. I don't want to stress him out with all the meds, but at the same time I want him comfortable. I'm STUCK!

Do I continue the meds, or stop and just let him be? I have two more rounds of fluids left in the bag I currently have. He goes to the vet on Thursday for a follow up.

:confused:

[krazyaboutkatz]

Cindy, I'm sorry to hear that he's still not feeling well and that you're having such a hard time.:( It has been hot in CA so maybe this is part of the reason why he's feeling even more poorly.

I've only had to make this decision one time so far and it was the most difficult one I've ever had to make. My Pepper had stopped eating so I had to force feed him but he kept throwing everything up.:( The vet knew he had some kind of an infection but he didn't know exactly what is was. He was on a lot of different meds and he even became diabetic due to being on pred.

He was spending all of his time back in my bedroom and when I'd try to feed him or medicate him he kept on letting out the biggest sigh like he had had enough.:( I was losing weight, sleep, and hours at work trying to care for him. My roommate at the time talked to me about him and told me what she would do since she'd already had to put 2 of her dogs down before. I also talked to another lady who had this experience before.

Even though he didn't look too bad by his appearance, he wasn't the Pepper that I knew. All he did all day was to sleep in a box in my bedroom.:( I finally decided that he had enough so I stopped his meds and force feedings and I spent the weekend just giving him lots of love. On Mon. morning I called my vet at the time to let him know that I wanted him put to sleep. It was a hard decision but I knew that he would then be at peace and that we'd meet again some day.

Taz will let you know by the look in his eyes, his actions, moods etc. You will know when both you and he have had enough. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Taz_Zoee]

Wow, any time I need a good cry I'll just come to this thread. Reading everyone's experiences again is breaking my heart. :( I knew it would someday come to this for me too. And I also knew that I'd have PT to help me through it when the time came. I can't thank you all enough for being there for me through this difficult time.

We just did his sub-q's and he actually did good. No growling and he only moved a teeny bit. I also gave him is epogen shot this morning. That could be why he was hiding in the bathroom today. Hopefully that and the fluids will kick in and he will have a better day tomorrow.

Yes, it has been hot here and we think that's why he likes to hang out in the bathroom because it's cooler. We try to keep the house fairly cool, especially since Bruce works from home. I understand what you mean by the look in his eyes. And a couple of times I thought I saw it. But I don't think it's consistent enough yet. He has his good days and bad days. So once he has several bad days in a row I'll know it's time. I'll just hope that it's not while I'm gone and he's in my moms care. I don't want my mom to have to make that decision or go through that heartache.

Oh, I've been cheating a little on his antibiotics. I let the pill disolve in tuna juice and he drank it up. Probably not the correct dosage, but close enough. The doctor told me to finish the pills and there are 10 pills that I break in half. That's twenty days! That seems like a lot to me. I'll ask her about it when we go in on Thursday. The Maalox I can handle because it's not much and it's liquid so it goes down easier.

I can (and will) make it through this!!!!!

[Reachoutrescue]

I am just reading this now. I am so sorry you and sweet Taz are going through this. Please know that you both are in my prayers.

As everybody said before me, you will just know. There are no straight answers when it comes to these kind of things...you just know.

With our rescue girl, Lady (the staffie mix), we tried everything and nothing worked. When I went to the vet that sad day to see her....her eyes told me to help her go "home".

That is our job as "owners", "meowmies", and "protectors" - to help them be happy, safe, healthy, and free of all ailments and pain. Even if it means letting them go and holding their paw while they cross over to that wonderful Rainbow Bridge. It is the least we can do in turn for all the love and devotion they give to us every single day of their much too short lives.

Good luck and try to stay strong. We love you Taz and will keep you in our prayers.

[Barbara]

I cannot be of much help. End of last year Filou had an infection on top of his renal failure and I was afraid his time would have come.
He refused to eat, hid quietly in places and I could see he had problems walking and jumping (jumping is an important thing for Abys).
We went into handfeeding whatever he liked and making sure he got at least 100 calories per day (egg yolk, ground beef, cream, goose fat...:rolleyes:).
Then on top he got diarrhea (maybe too much fat) so the vet said not to feed him 12 hrs, then after it came back, a full day. He was down to 2600 g and I remember I wrote all my Christmas cards saying that that may be his last X-mas.
After the diarrhea stopped and the infection was treated he came back into the world. He is eating now and we have him at 2900 g. He walks much better and jumps again (although not so high than when he was young- but so do I ;)). He is definitely feeling well.
The vet has stopped to check his levels- we all know they will be over the top and she says she never saw a kitty survive that long on such high levels. But as she is a friend she sees him also privately in our house and she agrees: he is ok.
So I cannot say whether Taz' time has come- he may get over it and that's what I wish for you.

[Medusa]

I think that what made it more difficult for me was that I was reading things into the situation, trying to read Puddy's mind. Just when I'd had myself convinced that her quality of life was gone and that I'd need to help her make her trip to the Bridge, then I'd change my mind and think to myself "Ok, I wouldn't like to spend all my time alone and in the bathroom yet but how do I know that Puddy doesn't like it? Cats aren't people and their likes and dislikes are different from ours". Worse yet, just like Taz, Puddy would go up and down. She wanted to be alone and I'd be at my computer bawling when suddenly she'd come downstairs. Just for a few minutes but enough to give me hope. It's as if she was saying "Don't give up on me, Mom" but yet, that's what I wanted to believe she was thinking.

Puddy's situation was similar to Taz's but different because of her senility. I was waiting for the meds to kick in that were supposed to help w/that and when Lara (Emeraldgreen) suggested that I try injecting the B vitamins in her subq bag and Puddy became her hold self again, then I didn't know what to think! However, that lasted for only 2 days and then she was gone. Her breathing became labored and THAT'S when I knew that it was time. As it turned out, though, true to form, Puddy went on her own w/out any help from me or Dr. Lee.

I've had other times when the situation was cut and dried and there was no doubt what needed to be done. I would love to be able to say "Here's when you should do it" because I wanted someone to say that to me, too, but all I heard was "You'll know". So, unfortunately, all I can say to you is the same. "You'll know". That and keep the faythe. :love:

[Taz_Zoee]

Darn it, I should have known not to read this while I'm at work.

Filou gives me hope, but unfortunately I don't think Taz will be as lucky. He just looks horrible. :(

This morning he didn't meet me in the hall. But I went to him on the bed in the spare room and he came out to eat. Although he didn't eat anything. So I gave him his Maalox then some tuna and he ate the tuna. Then I went into the kitchen later and he was chasing something on the floor. I'm not sure if it was a fuzzball or a bug, but it made me so happy!! :D
So, I think I'm getting a better idea of what signs will tell me it's time. And I owe a HUGE thank you to each and every one of you for your kind words and support.

[catmandu]

Thats something thats hard to answer in a specific way, as it depends on your Cat.
I am facing that question with Juke Joint Joseph whos 16 , is now under 7 pounds and has to have his food blended.
I made a mistake with Precious as I kept her too long and she was so weak that she passed on on the way to our Vets.:(:(
Only Smokey and Bo Bo passed away cleanly , sadly its up to us to help Our Cats cross over.:(
We are sending Our Prayers for Taz that you can be togetrher for as long as possible.
:love::love::love::love:

[Freedom]

My heart felt sympathies struggling with this. I smiled when you ended with "I wan a CLEAR answer!" I know I felt that way too, each time this situation arose. And deep down, we know that if there were a CLEAR answer, well, threads like this wouldn't get started!

Be sure to ask the vet lots of questions, get the medical side of the situation. What are the possibilities, probabilities. You need input from all angles to help make a decision to go on or not to go on.

Seeing Taz playing this morning, aw, now THAT brought tears to MY eyes!

[slick]

Each time I wondered "should I try just one more thing"? but the answer was usually in their eyes. PLEASE, let me go. :( I have to totally agree with this. With Speckles, she was 18 1/2. Her body had shut down, she stopped eating and just laid there in the spare room on the floor all day and night. Finally, I looked into her eyes and they spoke volumes. "I'm ready to go Mom." The vet was scheduled to come to my house at about 6:30 that evening and I told her as she laid on my chest "If you want to go before Dr. Singh gets here, it's OK."

It's hard to put it into words, but you'll just know.

{{{hugs}}}

[Pinot's Mom]

WOW - this is a tough thread!!

I agree, Taz will tell you. Jamara was 18 when we had her PTS in 2002. She had Oral Squalmous Cell Carcinoma, although we didn't have a name for it at the time, we just knew there was a large cancerous growth in her jaw. She could not eat or drink; we spoon fed her blended food as long as we could, but in the end we couldn't even get that down her. She had lost two pounds and was so weak. The last morning (Martin Luther King Day) - we all knew. When she went, the vet said, "she was weaker than we thought, she went so quickly". It was time; she said good bye to us with her eyes.:love:

You'll know. Watch the eyes - prayers for knowing the signs!

[GILL]

They know when it's time. Out Chocolate was sitting by their food on the cradenza and she called me from the TV room. I went and she just sat and purred with me petting. After about 10 minutes she swatted me to tell me to go. 15 minutes later I went to check her and she was gone. I believe that she just wanted to say goodby.

[Taz_Zoee]

They know when it's time. Out Chocolate was sitting by their food on the cradenza and she called me from the TV room. I went and she just sat and purred with me petting. After about 10 minutes she swatted me to tell me to go. 15 minutes later I went to check her and she was gone. I believe that she just wanted to say goodby.

Awwww, LES. :(


Thank you all again for your wonderful support.

[kitten645]

Cindy, I'm so sorry you are going thru this heartache. And I know it is exactly that. You feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. :( I believe that animals are wiser than people when it comes to many things. Life and death included. I think Taz will know when it's time and I think he'll tell you. Just release that decision to the Universe and it will play out as it should. I'll PM you too.
Love,
Claudia, Calvin & Hobbes

[Taz_Zoee]

Thank you so much Claudia. :D

This morning I was playing with Paizly with a string on a wand toy. Taz was about 3 feet away and I saw him watching the string. I flopped the string in front of him and he "ran" up and grabbed it. Then he just sat down with the string under his paw and wouldn't move. He didn't play with it, but he wouldn't let it go. It was so funny!! He finally let go and I continued playing with Paizly. I wiggled the string in front of Taz again and he patted at it a little more, then it was like he was just too tired to play. So he just laid down and watched Paizly play.
Oh, another thing is he doesn't growl and throw a fit at Paizly anymore. I think he's just too exhausted to mess with it.

He did some things he hasn't done in a long time this morning. He was right outside the bathroom door when I came out, and he stayed in the room with me while I did my daily stretches. I opened the sliding glass door a little for him to get some air (the screen door is broken). Good thing I was watching him because he slipped his head out!! :eek: So I had to only open it about 1 inch.

We go to the vet tonight to see what she thinks. I don't want to give him oral meds anymore. I can handle the fluids. Although, Bruce is getting tired of helping me, but he will.
I just feel like I'm prolonging his life when he'd be better off at the bridge. Then he does stuff like he did this morning and I feel differently. But what kind of life is being so weak and getting poked every other day? He is not really eating anything. He eats a teeny bit and usually only the tuna I give him after meds as a treat. I'll discuss my options tonight. Oh, I also don't want to schedule the appointment for his trip. I'd rather it be an unexpected last minute type thing.

[Pinot's Mom]

I'm sorry you're going through this....I do agree, though, don't schedule. Let it be when you know it's what has to be...:(

[Lizzie]

I am so sorry you are going through a heartwrenching time, and you will soon have to face that decision we all dread. But, the alternative can be worse since few cats do slip away quickly and easily.

You will need to plan a little in advance because you will want your vet to give you plenty of time. After the sedative, the cat becomes very, very relaxed and this is the time when you can hold them in your arms, knowing they feel no pain or anxiety, and talk to them all you want - and sob your socks off. Some cats knead you and purr, some simply lay in your arms and gaze at you sleepily, and some slip into sleep very quickly. I always ask for several minutes with them while they are sedated because it makes me more prepared for the next step.

I've found that when my cats have started sitting in the bathroom by the loo, their time is very short. I don't know if it's the cooler floor or what, but some cats will do that even in cold weather. Yes, it is hard to see them weak but still wanting to play. Cats are notorious for making you believe they are very much alive even when they have a very short time to live. They just don't give up, making it extremely hard for us to give up for them.

[wolflady]

Oh gosh, what a hard thread to read without getting LES. :( I'm so sorry that you're going through this with Taz. I think it's good that you're going to get an opinion from you vet about this, since if they feel Taz's quality of life just isn't there, it may be close to that time. It's certainly the hardest decision we need to make as a pet owner, but at least you can make sure to schedule in some lovin' time before he makes his final trip. **hugs**

[krazyaboutkatz]

Cindy, now having been there 2 times,I know exactly what you're going through.:( It never gets any easier.:( Actually this thread helped me to see that Starr's quality of life wasn't good and that his health was declining much more than I had thought. I had planned to put Starr to sleep on Sun. July 5th but he was doing so poorly on Tues. June 30th that I just couldn't wait that long so he went to sleep yesterday.:(

Sometimes he would act like his old self too but it was short lived so I was just kidding myself. I know that Taz will let you know when it's time. I was very lucky in that I could just go in to my vets any time of day or night without an appointment since they're always open. The lady said that animals don't have a set schedule for this kind of thing. I did want my vet to be there and she was there yesterday so she helped me let Starr go. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[goldi22]

just joined, but saw this thread. had my 16 yr old lynx point(mr. fuji) PTS after good battle with CRF, a year ago, and just adopted a great snowshoe yesterday. i planned on using the list i found on one of the crf support sites, based on eating, drinking, urinating, ability to get around, and individual indicators of quality of life. turns out he stopped drinking, peeing, then eating and went into hiding, would barely look at me etc. it's so hard to know because they hide their symptoms so well, but hope this helps. was definitely hardest decision i've made, but sometimes we have to do it for them, and put our feelings aside....easier said......

[Taz_Zoee]

Thanks again everyone for your replies on this thread.
Unfortunately, I let Taz go to the bridge tonight. Please see his thread in Memorial.