Help with a timid (feral?) cat

[Cataholic]

I have brought a year old (or so) female into a multi cat house hold. There doesn't seem to be much concern between the animals, but I seem to be a major concern to the new kitty- Minnie. She was caught as part of a trap/nueter/release feral population. It was discovered she was already spayed, and didn't seem feral enough for the community- more like that she had been someone's pet, than discarded. Well, she hides ALL THE TIME. She is panicked around me. I slowly discover and dismantle her hiding spaces- but I have kept a few to give her a safe haven. I try to pick her up every day or so, and hold her- trying to acclimate us, and show her humans can be trusted. She currently hides behind the washer all day long- which is heartbreaking. I don't know if I should try anything else...am I doing it wrong already..should I just leave her alone??? I have had her since July. She was in a no kill shelter two months before that. She has never tried to bite me, and has hissed just a couple of times. When I hold her, she just huddles in my arms, hiding her head, and then goes to escape as soon as I loosen my grip. Any ideas?

[catland]

Welcome to Pet Talk. You'll find a lot of help here.

I'm just now getting Sidney to be a lap kitty, and he's six years old! (well, his definition of a lap kitty is that I can get him to stay on my lap for one to two minutes)

You might want to try setting her next to you, instead of on your lap. I did this with Sidney, and he seemed more accepting of it. Other than that, I think you just have to give it time and patience. There are wonderful stories here on PetTalk about a cat named Fister. It took his humans a long time to make him more tame.

Good luck!

[Karen]

More just being near her, maybe less picking her up for a while. Really, it just takes time, time and then more time.

[wayne0214]

cataholic, yes, i concur with the others. Don't push her into doing things that she doesn't want to. Take your time, and do not place all of your attention on her, because a cat can sense this desiring and this in itself, causes them to be more distant. Try feeding her with some special "cat goodies" (tuna for example), apart from the others. I have found that this alone will bring them "out" the quickest way.

..........wayne

[AmberLee]

Welcome to Pet Talk, Cataholic! (Love your sign-in name, by the way.)

I haven't been in your shoes, but a dear friend of mine has and she had tremendous luck 'turning around' an abandoned cat by sitting alone in a room with it for a while a day every day(I think she said an hour, but I'll check) for several months until her cat came to trust her. She would read, or write in her journal or letters, or meditate, or do quiet yoga exercises and the cat gradually came to trust her and want to be near her. Unfortunately, this has got to be at the cat's pace. It does sound like she was abandoned, too, and this makes trust difficult.

It isn't impossible, and it sounds like you are motivated to make this baby happy. I'm so glad you are giving her a new lease on life. :D

[Vio&Juni]

Well, cats are cats and they basicaly accept to be the only one in charge, so don't make her do something she doesn't want to, better pet her or feed her beside you, not on your lap or arms. And if she wants to leave, let her leave when she wants. Try to stay in the same room with her minding your own business and eventually she'll come to you. Do it in small steps and you'll be rewarded, I am sure.

[Cataholic]

WOW!! You guys are great, and I really appreciate your input. I won't give up on Minnie, and as I commented to the vet, she has a place to live forever, no matter how much she bonds to me. I just want her to have the love and attention the other five get. I feel bad that 'we' sit upstairs, eat together, watch tv, sleep in a comfy bed, and she is in a dark, dank basement.

I had thought I might have been 'forcing' her too much with the holding of her in my lap. But, she absolutely refuses to be near me with out the pressure of my hands.

I think I will continue to visit with her in her space (well, not behind the washer, I am not that skinny...he he he), but she does hide in the old coal room. I put a little cat condo in there, and she immediately took that up as her hideout. (It is a little carpeted one hole box- but rounded). I will try turning the hole towards me, and sit in on the floor and read. How pleasant, to read in a cold smelly basement! Ah, the things I am willing to do for my cats.

Thanks again, and I will keep you updated!

P.S...Amberlee, the name came from my coworkers...I am one of two non catholics...and I call them Cathaholics...as a joke. So, they changed the letters and call me the cataholic! It is truly fitting, my neighbors call me the cat lady! I love them to pieces...the cats, not necessarily the neighbors...he he he.

[mruffruff]

I too have a cat that doesn't want to be with me. Missy was a stray in the neighborhood and now is inside. She and her male companion are confined to a bedroom and outside cat pen.

Ghost, the male, will sit on my lap or next to me and allow petting along his back and head. Missy cringes every time I come near her. If she is 'trapped', she will freeze. I can pet her without getting scratched or bitten, but she really doesn't like it.

I'm spending as much time as I can in the room, just watching TV and petting Ghost. Hopefully she will come around. I've only been at this for a couple of months.

She sure doesn't mind touching me when it's time to eat!! I think Wayne has a good idea.........feed her separately and maybe even by hand. I'm going to try that too.

Let us know how you progress.

Mary

[AvaJoy]

Yes, patience is the key word. Cats differ in their need for affection and attention, just like people. Minnie may not ever be a "snuggler"; could be it is just not her personality.

I suggest that when you read in the basement near her that you read aloud so she can hear your voice and feel like you are talking just to her. I have spent many hours just reading nursery rhymes and singing lullabyes to my June feral rescue, Muskrat. She, too, was more frightened rather than aggressive toward me. She would cower and threaten with flat ears, hissing and posturing, but never once has she swatted a paw or tried to bite. I would put my hand in her cage and leave it there motionless as I read or sang, allowing her to decide when she felt comfortable in seeking my touch. It worked, and now she loves to be petted, scratched, etc. However, when I pick her up she still does tense up and burrow close to me, claws and all . . . :eek: That's OK . . . she is my baby.

Love and devotion toward a cat is half the battle, so you are almost victorious . . . hope this helps bolster your confidence. :)

[Cataholic]

Thank you for the advice, and I do feel better hearing of others and their struggle with the feral cat. Avajoy, your cat sounds just like Minnie. No aggression, just the freeze and burrow. I will try the reading aloud, and less forced interaction. I will have to find her special treat. Tuna doesn't seem to do it like it does with the others. Maybe she was just too scared then.

I will keep you guys posted, and thanks again.

[Cataholic]

Well, just a small move in the right direction....this morning, when all got their teaspoon full of wet food as a treat, I took Minnie's down to her. I put it in the little condo and went about emptying the boxes...so she still heard me, though I was out of her line of sight. Five minutes later, I went to retrieve the bowl, and she had eater 2/3 of the food! (I did put a little extra in her bowl, but don't tell the others).

This was not what she was doing before...she wouldn't eat it all all if I was around. In fact, I am fairly certain one of the twins would get it, as Dakky would come up the basement steps licking his chops:eek: Unless he was sampling from the litter box...he was getting her food.

One small funny. On Wed am Georgia had to get two teeth extracted :( so I picked up all food/water by 6 pm Tuesday. When I came down the basement Wed to scoop...guess who had bit/clawed her way into a brand new bag of Science Diet? Yep, Minnie- the queen of feralness!:D :D

[catland]

Yea Minnie:D :D :D


Good work Cataholic. Your patience is paying off - and even though she can't tell you yet, you're starting to have an effect on that sweet, shy kitty.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Good news! It sounds like a small step, but every little step counts, so congratulations! I'm sure she will come around, it will just take a lot of patience and perserverence on your part. :)

[Randi]

Well done Cataholic, looking forward to hearing how it all goes with Minnie. I’m sure you are quite competent at looking after cats, but remember, they have a different perception of time than we do! Our Fister was completely anti-human when we first tempted him up, and over a year old, so we were sometimes in doubt as to whether we’d ever tame him. Well we haven’t really. He is and always will be feral in personality. But cats are no fools, and he has worked out that living with us is lightyears away from the cold dirty yard that he comes from. As others have said, patience, understanding and respect are essential. Now, (after 5 years!) he seems superficialy tame, Randi can even get pills down him and carry him from room to room. But he has become so sweet and loving and caring that it has been worth every minute and every drop of blood!
So just keep on loving and respecting Minnie, and I’m sure there will be a happy ending!

Here is Fisters comment:


http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid24/pb588ddbcda8b98ffacdc5d90caef85a8/fd96847b.jpg
“Patience Minnie, you’ll soon have them trained!”

If you’re interested in Fisters stories, check them out at:

Fisters’ Journey - from Rags to Riches: (http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/showthread.php?threadid=12338)

The Battle of the Bed: (http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/showthread.php?threadid=10186)

Fister and his loving mum: (http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/showthread.php?threadid=14032)

Fisters Dream world: (http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/showthread.php?threadid=13772)

Good luck!

John
(Fister's dad)

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Originally posted by Randi
Well we haven’t really. He is and always will be feral in personality.

Oooohhhh....I don't know. He doesn't look too feral in that picture there, John. ;) :) He looks downright at home and comfy there. :D

[Cataholic]

Oh, I can't wait to get home and tell Minnie she got a direct communication from Mr. Fister, that beautiful orange boy! She will be thrilled out of her tuxedo suit! I know I sure am. I am quite taken with Mr. Fister, and can tell he has a personality I would just do anything for.

This morning I went to Minnie to have a brief moment with her before I put on my good clothes...just in case a stray claw made it's way out. We spent a moment together, and she didn't hide her head, although she didn't want to be on my lap. I slowly released the pressure on her, and after a minute she got up- not real fast, but not real slow either. She crabbed across the floor, and found comfort under a table. It seemed less feral than other escapes. She also seems less curled up in her hiding places..but it might be because I want it to be that.

I will remember Mr. Fister, and the turn around he had. I tried mentally telling her how much I loved her and wanted her to be safe and secure in the home, but I think she had a brain block going on. I thought if that lady on Animal Planet can do it, maybe I can too! Thanks for following up, and I will give updates shortly. My best to Mr. Fister, and tell him he has a friend in Ohio...;)

[Randi]

Careful what you say, Tubby & Peanut’s Mom, there are other sides to his personality! ;)

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid32/p5d084dceaeb1e4bbd7e14ae5a182d4fe/fd41d5b5.jpg

John

[Cataholic]

Yikes Mr. Fister!!!! Maybe it is a good thing we are all the way over in Ohio...those claws are quite a site!!!!:eek:

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Originally posted by Randi
Careful what you say, Tubby & Peanut’s Mom, there are other sides to his personality! ;)
John

:D :D Ok, ok, Mr. Fister, I give! :D I remember seeing those claws the other day on the "leash" thread, and I certainly don't want to mess with them at all! :D

[Cataholic]

This was almost too much for me!!!! Last night as I was getting ready for bed, and staring at my face intently in the mirror (why do women do this? How much could I have changed since the am?) I saw a cat out of the corner of my eye...but through the image in the mirror. I THOUGHT it was Tenny, so I wondered why he was sitting in the cat hold door leading to the basement. I looked again, and I swear to you, it was MINNIE!!! I did the 'freeze', again only looking through the mirror at her. I didn't know what to do- course I wanted to scream in delight, but, obvoiusly, didn't need two months of a set back! I slowly turned to look at her normally, and of course, she ran back down the steps...but STILL!!! Can you beleive it? Minnie- for no reason in the world, came up the steps!!!!!!!! No one was chasing her (like me), all my others were up here....OMG! I almost started to cry!!!! So, of course I called my mom, woke her up, and told her the story. I couldn't wait to tell you guys!!! Yea MINNIE! :) :) :)

[Cataholic]

Apparently my excitement has kept me from spelling anything correctly! Sorry.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Wow! A big step forward, I'm so happy for you and Minnie. It must have been Mr. Fister's encouragement that made her a little bolder. :) Somebody had mentioned this somewhere in the last couple of days, and I thought it might help here too, although I'm not sure how accurate it is...but anyway...they said that when you look at her, look her in the eyes for only a second, then turn your eyes away. I think they said that looking them right in the eye is a sign of aggression, which would explain why she immediately went back down the steps. Like I said, it sounds plausible to me, but I'm really not sure, but I thought it might be worth a try if and when she sneaks up the stairs again. And hopefully the next time will be sometime soon. Please keep us updated on any future progress. :) :D

[AmberLee]

BIIIG Progress! Congratulations!

[Alpha Wolf]

A lot of the animals my family took in feared people in the beginning, but eventually got over it as they got used to us. What I suggest is that you give her space and try not to surprise her too much with your actions. Move closer to her slowly and coax her out of hiding with her favorite treats. Also, when you feed her, try to do it in a open area where she can get used to everything. Find out what she likes to play with and spend a nice amount of time playing with her. But, most importantly, give her time, all animals need time to adjust more or less, depending on the previous situation.

-Alpha (Shay)-

[jenluckenbach]

Hey cataholic.
How is that Minnie doing??? I am new to pet talk and read with interest about Minnie
I have 3 challenging types like Minnie. It took fern over 4 years before she sat in a chair BESIDE me.. Willow still hides under the covers for 1/2 of the day and I've had him 1 1/2 years. And Calvin cannot be picked up. Petted, yes.
But you know what? The best part is all the little steps in the right direction. All three of those cats would be homeless right now if they had an owner with little patience, but I think they are a worthwhile effort. And I love them as much as the "easy" ones.

[Cataholic]

Hi Jenluckenbach,
thanks for asking, and welcome to PT! I wish I had a lot of wonderful progress to report, but it is really slow. Lets see, Saturday night, I came home late...like 10 pm, and entered through the basement, as is typical. I noticed Minnie was perched on top of an appliance, directly underneath the open steps, leading to the upstairs. I was pretty surprised, cause she NEVER stays out in the 'open'. What is kinda stranger is the garage door is kind of loud when it opens, and still she stayed out. So, I just happened to have an ice cream with me (he he he) and I positioned myself on a bench, and ate it, talking outloud, and feeding the 'easy' ones with a spoon. She stayed put all ten minutes or so, looking at me sometimes, and other times not. I tried to be extra overt in my gestures with the other cats...trying to show her I mean no harm to kitties. Then, I got 'greedy' and went and sat on the steps near her. That was still ok, until I tried to pet her...away she scampered.:(

So, a slow process, but one I will not give up on! Thanks again for asking, caring, and welcome again...Cataholic

[jenluckenbach]

Cataholic,
You are descibing my Fern to a "T". The progress came painfully slow. She is still, even after 5 years, a super shy girl. And, as I came to learn, somewhat intimidated by the other cats. She does her best, when they are not around. But, it is rewarding, each and every mile stone.

[hellostranger]

Hi Cataholic and Minnie! My cats and I are new to PetTalk, but your story reminded me so much of how I met my tabby lady, Lynnseed Enigma (Lynn for short :) )!! I found Lynn as a kitten when she was in a storm sewer during a rain storm. She was soaking wet and crying but refused to come out so I had to get someone to help me pry off the manhole cover so I could throw a towel over her and drag her out. She never bit or scratched, she just went completely limp and buried her head in the towel. She stayed that way all the way to the vet's office...... When she got home she met my other two kitties and then immediately shoved herself in behind the washing machine and refused to come out. I put her food next to the washer and went in to talk to her every day. Gradually she started showing up around the house and eating out of the other cat's bowls...

That was eleven years ago (hard to believe!) and she's still very shy....I am only allowed to pet her when I'm in the bathroom (there must be something soothing about tile...?) but she will come and sit in the living room near us and roll around on the floor by herself and purr and purr so loudly we can hear her all the way over on the couch. I guess she'll always be my "special" ;) kitty but she's healthy and happy and she has lent her paw to raising several other stray kittens that have passed through our house on their way to their forever homes.

PS She has given me a bit of a reputation though - only two other people have ever seen her (besides the vet) so people are starting to tease me that she doesn't really exist. :rolleyes:

[Cataholic]

HelloStranger, and welcome to Pet Talk! Thanks for sharing your story. I hope Minnie comes out of hiding, but I must admit it has been really rough on her lately. We had some steps of progress, as identified above, then a retreat. I have had delivery men, loud noises, stuff moved around in the basement, etc., and currently have my co-worker's dog..so, Minnie is in serious hiding. In fact, all my cats are in hiding somewhat. Doggie leaves Sunday, so things shouldget back to normal.

I don't care how long it takes for Minnie to adapt to me, and I don't even care if she EVER adapts, as long as she is happy with her situation. She is clean, warm, dry, fed premium food, has manay litterboxes, and friends to play with if she chooses. I can bond with the rest just fine. I just don't want her to be unhappy.

Welcome again to PT!:)

[Cataholic]

I think the biggest effect on Minnie is going to be the cold weather! We had a dip last night into the low 50's (sorry I don't know the celsius conversion!!! maybe around 14???). I went down to the basement to stretch a little, and looked for Minnie under the workbench- NO MINNIE. Of course, I tear around to all the usual downstairs haunts..NO MINNIE! . So, back up the steps, through the house twice, back down the basement- NO MINNIE.

Then, I checked in my bedroom closet...there she was, hiding behind the clothes :D :D

I guess I need to put a little rug in there for her, huh?

Needless to say, I skipped the rest of the stretching- I was tired, but sooo happy to see that she ventured upstairs! This is twice now!!!!! Though the first time she only popped her head through the cat door. Maybe by Christmas she will be sleeping on my bed!!! I am so excited and proud of my little Minnie!