View Full Version : Moving day - my mom is going into foster care.

04-17-2008, 01:30 PM
It's a sad day for my family. My mom, who has advanced alzheimer's disease, is moving into foster care today. She is 82 years old.

While she was getting more and more forgetful over the past decade, it's been just in this last year when she really started to decline with the paranoia, wandering, and the confusion of the later stages. She no longer recognized her home and sometimes woudn't recognize my dad or the rest of us.

Finally, she really began to plummet since the first of the year. Her language skills are declining, she has to eat with her fingers, and losing her equilibrium. She broke her wrist last week.

So today my dad is taking his bride of 59 years to a foster home and is absolutely devistated. He's that WWII generation kind of guy that isn't used to asking for help.

I don't know why I'm writing this, other than PT therapy is just about the best thing going.

thanks for listening.

Ione's daughter.

04-17-2008, 01:46 PM
((((BIG HUGS)))) to you! My mom is 77 and in the earlier stages of Alzheimer's ... though my Dad (83) won't accept it. :( She has times when she doesn't recognize my Dad or gets confused as to who me and my sister are as well. She thinks we are her sisters. :( She thinks my Dad is a nice man who has come to take care of her.

I just wanted to say that I can certainly feel your and your Dad's pain. My Dad is from the WWII time as well, was in the Air Force and is extremely proud! :confused:

Prayers for you and your mom and dad!


04-17-2008, 01:50 PM
my heart aches for you today. How hard this is for your dad to do, even though probably everyone agrees it is the best for her safety. I lost my own mom to Alzheimer's 5 years ago. She was born in 1917 and was 85. My dad is also that same era - so very difficult for them especially - to not be able to "fix" everything. I know that my own dad felt so guilty when he finally had to find a home for her - even though my brother and I encouraged him to do so - he had such a hard time accepting the illness. Is there anything especially comforting that you could do for your dad over the next few days??

This - being a daughter with aging/failing parents - is overwhelming for me at times. (((hugs))) to you, to your dad, and to Ione.

04-17-2008, 05:07 PM
my heart aches for you today. . . . .

This - being a daughter with aging/failing parents - is overwhelming for me at times. (((hugs))) to you, to your dad, and to Ione.

Deb, you said it so very well, so I am just going to quote it. I see it with my Dad.

Hugs to you, Ione's daughter. And yes, do try to find some things to do with your Dad the next few days, he will be lost without her there with him. It will help you cope as well.

04-17-2008, 05:25 PM
Perhaps take a few days to spend a set time with your Dad each day, and make an "oral history" with a tape recorder if he's okay with that, of their time together. It might be sad at first, but perhaps the happy memories will come to dominate the mood.

You will all be in our prayers.

04-17-2008, 10:51 PM
I'm so sorry.

My father passed away in February at age 82, and my mom, age 78, is getting very forgetful and confused. I foresee that decision coming in the next few years for our family as well.

That generation is a priceless asset to our world, and to see them, one by one, pass away is simply a tragedy. The world is going to be a far worse place when the survivors of WWII and the great depression can no longer share their wisdom and strength.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

04-17-2008, 11:02 PM
Embracing you in a tight hug. I've gone through similar situations with quite a few family members. I know how devastating it is for everyone. It's almost impossible to believe that "mommy and daddy" and "Honey and Honey" (as my folks called themselves) are ill and being seperated from the family they loved. I'm so sorry. The best thing i did for everyone, was to be there for them.

04-18-2008, 10:46 AM
We got Mom sucessfully relocated yesterday. They'll be giving her a mild sedative to help calm her down these first days while she adjusts.

I think we were incredibly lucky to find this place on such short notice. Its about a 10 minute drive from my parent's home and about a 20 minute drive from where I work. Its very clean and nice. Mom's bedroom looks over a wooded area so its very peaceful looking.

I had dinner with my dad last night. Then about 6:30 or so he said that it was ok for me to go home. Now that we know that mom is being cared for, our focus will be on my dad, who has stoically carried this burden for so long.

thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and prayers.

04-18-2008, 10:57 AM
big hugs and prayers to you and your family Julie.

Ginger's Mom
04-18-2008, 11:49 AM
More hugs are coming your way. I am sure it is not easy for you, your father, nor your mother at this time. But it is nice that you all live close enough to each other to be able to help each other through these difficult periods. You and your family will be in my prayers.

04-18-2008, 12:30 PM
Hugs to your dad.

There was a movie recently - got an Oscar or two - Away From Her, based on a short story by Alice Munro. It stars Julie Christie as a woman who is slipping into Alzheimer's. Gordon Pinsent plays her husband.

I don't know if you want to see it just yet - and certainly not your dad - but it might be a thought for later.




04-18-2008, 12:44 PM
Married for 59 years...that is simply amazing.

I am sending you a hug. Take care.

finn's mom
04-18-2008, 01:12 PM
With light must come darkness, try to remember all the beautiful memories, especially since your Mother may not be able to. My heart aches for you and your family, especially for your dad.