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elleree
04-05-2008, 12:03 AM
My big burly boy Merlin Berlin went to the Rainbow Bridge on March 6, 2008. I can't believe it has almost been a month.

He was a beautiful half Himalayan-half Siamese flame point. Meaning he had red on his ears, face, legs, and tail instead of brown. He was gorgeous but most of all he was a good boy.

Merlin loved hair. He always tried to get up behind me, grab my hair with his claws and start licking it ferociously. He loved attention and also loved to grab my hands in his paws and lick them, occasionally biting imaginary burrs out of my nonexistence fur. Merl had a high meow with a tinge of a purr in it at all time. He would let me do anything to him without complaint. I gave him sub q fluids, he let me. He was always the best cat when it was grooming time or time for medicine or a bath or anything else like that. Whenever he was at the vet he never fussed or tried to growl or bite--as long as I was there with him, he purred. Purred when they hurt him while trying to make him feel better, purred the last time I held him in my lap at home the night before he had to be put down. Right before he died he purred.

It was so hard letting him go but he was in so much pain. Merlin got sick in February with what seemed to be only a cold. So I took him to the vet and he got a steroid shot and I got antibiotics to take home. At first he seemed to be getting better, and his cold symptoms did get better, but he still seemed to feel bad. They did tests and found nothing. Some more tests. I was waiting for the results and the next morning he wouldn't eat. For Merlin, who absolutely loved, I mean LOVED any and all kinds of food; this was the worst possible sign. I took him in immediately, they wanted to keep him overnight and do an ultrasound because he had started to have serious problems breathing. This all happened within a matter of days and he hadn't seemed sick before this. The ultrasound showed he had cancer on his lungs that had pushed into his heart and caused him to go into heart failure. It was a fast growing cancer they thought and that was why he hadn't had symptoms until it was too late. I asked about surgery options on the cancer, giving him lasix for the heart failure that caused fluid in his chest and lungs, but he was too far gone for the lasix to really help and he wouldn't survive any type of surgery. His breathing became so labored he was straining, pushing with all his might to breathe and I asked about pain and they said it was intense despite pain meds. So the only thing I could do was to make sure his pain wouldn't get any worse before he died, which he was going to do soon, and I knew the pain would get worse. So I let him go. He was in my arms and he purred.

I like to think that somewhere in heaven he is purring still, and waiting for me.

Rest in peace, Merlin, I love you and miss you.

CultureJunky
04-05-2008, 06:17 AM
I know exactly what you are going through at the moment. It is a month and four days since my beloved Jack had to go due to heart failure brought on by hyperthyroidism. I know what you are feeling, the emptiness the cold feeling in your chest. Oh I know how it hurts so much you think you will just die. I am going through the exact same thing at the moment, each time I think of Jack I just cry.
But it will get better and eventually you will remember the good times as will I.

Just so you know there are so many people on here that know how you feel, and you can take some comfort in that. I know that I do and it's been a big help.

Have you tried writing a journal, or making a memory box, that's what I am doing and I write a letter to Jack in my journal every couple of days.

I am thinking of you at this painful time

Kate

catmandu
04-05-2008, 09:56 AM
Merlin Berlins a full fledge Cat Angel now with his wings of Silver and Gold!!
And hes having a good time in Austrailai with the Pet Angel Army, but he wont feel complete until you are with him to share your love once more. Hes already picked out a Club Med for you all to gather at when you are all reunited in love.
One Fine Day.

Taz_Zoee
04-05-2008, 12:08 PM
I am so sorry about Merlin. I can only imgaine how painful it must be. And I dread the day that I will know how painful it is. The day that I must send my Tazmoe to the bridge will probably kill me. But I know I will have so much support and love from everyone here on Pet Talk that I will make it through.

We are all here for you. Most of us have been in your shoes. I have with my doggie, DJ.

RIP Merlin Berlin

Freedom
04-05-2008, 06:25 PM
Merlin sounds like such a delightful kitty, and he made such an impact on you. He lives on in your heart, in your memories. Now he is at peace, pain free and running, with that purring machine going full blast, in the lush fields at the Bridge. RIP, Merlin, you were so loved you have a lot to give to all your new friends at the Bridge.

{{Hugs}} to you. Many of us have been through the pain. It is always different, with each pet. Hold on to your memories.

Medusa
04-05-2008, 07:00 PM
Merlin was a wonderful cat, to be sure; the stories that you've told about him are a testament to that. You did the last act of kindness for him that you could do; you held him in your arms as he took his last breath. That is the most selfless thing anyone can do for our fur family. He loved you for that and he still loves you and is finished resting and is now eating all that fine, delicious food that he enjoyed while w/you. When he sees you again, he'll be so excited and happy and so will you. RIP, sweet Merlin Berlin and peace to you....

krazyaboutkatz
04-05-2008, 08:04 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about Merlin's passing.:( He sure sounds like he was a very handsome boy and that he had a wonderful personalitytoo. He'll live in your heart forever and some day you'll meet him again at Rainbow Bridge (http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html). RIP sweet Merlin.:(

kb2yjx
04-06-2008, 01:17 PM
Always sad to lose a much loved friend. Sleep softly, Merlin Berlin...

elleree
04-08-2008, 12:29 PM
Thank you, everyone. It is nice to have support from people who understand. I called in to work the morning Merlin was put down and the wanted to know why and I told them and they were like 'Oh. Sorry but can't you come in a little later? It's just ur cat.' I, of course, said no I was too upset to come in. Some people don't understand, but you guys do. Thank you to everyone who made a kind wish and I am sorry for those who understand because they are going through a simmilar loss. Thanks, all.

pomtzu
04-08-2008, 12:53 PM
So sorry for your loss. No matter how many times we go thru the same thing, it never gets easier. Just yesterday I lost my sweet little tabby who adopted me about 4 years ago. He wasn't here long enough, but he must have been needed at the Bridge more than here, and now he is getting to know my other kitties who went before him over the years.
Be in peace knowing that they are all well and happy and waiting for the day that they will get to be with us again. And even tho it doesn't seem so right now - we too will be happy and smile again every time we think of them.
Peace to you and all that wait for us.