CountryWolf07
12-17-2007, 11:19 AM
So, on Saturday night before he left to go home, we were saying our goodbye's, then all of a sudden, I was standing on the thing by his truck.. like, you step on to get inside... and I was just looking at him and I started crying.. and he turns on the light in his truck and goes "Rachel, why are you crying, what's the matter, why are you so upset?" (By the way I never have gotten THAT emotional over anything..so I was surprised at myself.. for keeping it inside for a while.. and not finding the opportunity to say...)
I asked him "How do you feel about me?" and he goes "What? Rachel you should know this by now.. I don't like to talk about my feelings, I just never have done that.. you know that, my entire family is the same way. and I said well I have been trying to come up with a way of how to say it.. and it just.. I can't say it, and he goes "Me too you just don't have to say it.. it doesn't matter, I know." and he said "I know I don't say I love you, but the only time I say it is to my mom. She's my mom. I just don't do that. Look at us, we're together, for a year now, and we're fine, it's just that what we have is different, you're different, it's good. It's just something you don't have to say it, it's okay. I just told him that his family is different than mine, he was raised different, I was raised different. He doesn't deal with words, just action, but I'm the opposite. Then I realized I am really happy with what we have, and I don't take it for granted.
And now that we both know, and it's just easy enough to say it the next time, but when it comes to us, you can see it through our actions towards each other than just words we say to each other.
He is going with me to my dad's parents in Dayton on Saturday for a family Christmas, and I am looking forward to it, he will be meeting my dad's side for the first time. My grandma bought him a Christmas gift, which she didn't have to. She didn't want him to feel left out because of the Christmas deal.
Wow. Love is really crazy. I can now understand that hate can be easy but love is hard! Maybe it is a breakthrough, after all, we both know it's there and that's just it. I don't believe anyone who says that love is easy! It's definitely not.
I asked him "How do you feel about me?" and he goes "What? Rachel you should know this by now.. I don't like to talk about my feelings, I just never have done that.. you know that, my entire family is the same way. and I said well I have been trying to come up with a way of how to say it.. and it just.. I can't say it, and he goes "Me too you just don't have to say it.. it doesn't matter, I know." and he said "I know I don't say I love you, but the only time I say it is to my mom. She's my mom. I just don't do that. Look at us, we're together, for a year now, and we're fine, it's just that what we have is different, you're different, it's good. It's just something you don't have to say it, it's okay. I just told him that his family is different than mine, he was raised different, I was raised different. He doesn't deal with words, just action, but I'm the opposite. Then I realized I am really happy with what we have, and I don't take it for granted.
And now that we both know, and it's just easy enough to say it the next time, but when it comes to us, you can see it through our actions towards each other than just words we say to each other.
He is going with me to my dad's parents in Dayton on Saturday for a family Christmas, and I am looking forward to it, he will be meeting my dad's side for the first time. My grandma bought him a Christmas gift, which she didn't have to. She didn't want him to feel left out because of the Christmas deal.
Wow. Love is really crazy. I can now understand that hate can be easy but love is hard! Maybe it is a breakthrough, after all, we both know it's there and that's just it. I don't believe anyone who says that love is easy! It's definitely not.