Pregnancy etiquette...

[moosmom]

And to think I THOUGHT I saw it all. That is until yesterday.

I was working the Customer Service desk yesterday at my job. A young woman, obviously pregnant, came up to exchange something. She had sweat pants on and a shirt. She had the shirt pulled up over her baby bump and her belly was totally exposed. EVERYONE was staring at her. You could tell that some people were say a little "uncomfortable" with her little "show". Somehow I think she was doing it for a reaction. I mean, how could you NOT stare at her humongous belly sticking out.

I haven't been pregnant in over 30 years, so I'm a little out of the loop when it comes to etiquette. Just want to get people's opinions on this delicate subject.

What do you think???

[Sirrahsim]

I think that being pregnant is the most natural thing in the world and it would be a sin to be ashamed of your "baby bump". I personally would not walk around BB&B with my pregnant belly hanging out but it wouldn't bother me to see it. Perhaps this is her first baby and she is just proud. When a woman is pregnant she thinks differently. Perhaps in her mind she thinks that everyone is as proud of her belly and as excited about her baby as she is. I know when I was pregnant I LOVED when someone *asked* to pat my belly or asked me questions about my baby. It may not even occur to her that someone might not want to see her pregnant belly.

Then again I don't understand why that would make anyone any more uncomfortable then seeing a girl baring her midriff or a guy walking around like a thug with his pants around his knees ???

[moosmom]

Great point, Missy.

Come to think about it, I lost count the number of times I've seen "buttcracks" because of the new fashion statement trying to be made.

[Miss Z]

I personally wouldn't like to see it; stretched, veiny skin - ugh, no thanks. ;)

It's good that this women obviously is far from self-conscious, though, and I do admire her for that.

[K9soul]

I'm more old fashioned when it comes to things like this. I tend to think just because one isn't ashamed by some part of their body doesn't mean it's appropriate to leave it unclothed in public. It's like wearing shoes and shirt into businesses, it is just the appropriate thing to do. Different places and different situations should have different degrees of formality. A church generally one dresses nicer to go into, or remove your hat at the door. A fancy restaurant one generally dresses nicer and doesn't come in in grungy shorts and a T-shirt. A public place for shopping and so on, I feel someone should at least keep top and bottom mostly covered. That includes the 'butt cracks' of course :o. I don't think it's a matter of being ashamed or not, I just think it's taking into consideration the time and place you are at and the etiquette for that situation.

[moosmom]

I don't think it's a matter of being ashamed or not, I just think it's taking into consideration the time and place you are at and the etiquette for that situation

Thank you!! That's exactly what I was trying to say.

[animal_rescue]

I agree with Miss Z.
Stretchy, veiny skin tends to gross me out..

[NicoleLJ]

Personally I wouldn't do it. But I would not have a problem seeing it. Take being pregnant during the summer. You got way more hot when you are pregnant in the summer and staying cool is very hard to do when out in public. So I can totally understand some pregnant womem wanting to have a bare tummy at that time, though agian I would not do it.

But then I am very old fashoined. I will not breast feed in the open. I prefer to teach my children to take a bottle and breast feed. So if i have to go out then I pump ahead of time and can then feed with a bottle. I could never be one of those moms that just whips it out, with nothing covering them or the baby, and feed them. For me personally I just could never do that.

But back on bellys look at all the men with the beer bellies hanging out or completely shirtless out in public. To be honest I would rather see a pregnancy belly over a beer belly. lol
Nicole & Sheena & Ajax

[Catlady711]

I think that being pregnant is the most natural thing in the world and it would be a sin to be ashamed of your "baby bump".
Then again I don't understand why that would make anyone any more uncomfortable then seeing a girl baring her midriff or a guy walking around like a thug with his pants around his knees ???


I tend to agree with pregnancy being natural and a person should be ashamed of it. I do think etiquette for appropriate place and time for baring your belly should be considered. I also think their is a trend among some women that think a pregnant belly is sexy and I know their are some men that find that to be true. So it's possible the lady was a single mom trolling for a boyfriend or future hubby by showing her belly or just found it attractive to display, who knows?

I personally am uncomfortable with pregnant bellies showing in public, and non pregnant girls bare midriff and those kids (or plumbers) walking around with their pants around their knees showing their undies or parts of their butt I'd rather not see. I think it's not in good taste and should be covered but that's my own personal opinion.

[Scooter's Mom]

As someone who can't have kids for medical reasons, it would make me uncomfortable. I think about it all the time, having a pregnant belly shoved at me would not help. But that's just MY situation not others.

Another etiquette question...
My co-worker has a 3 year old daughter. She's pregnant with a boy, due in February. She's ranting about "Who is going to give me my shower?" I thought you only got 1 shower? Is it proper to have one for each pregnancy?

[CathyBogart]

I don't think it's something to be ashamed of, but I don't want to see it.

[Catlady711]

Another etiquette question...
My co-worker has a 3 year old daughter. She's pregnant with a boy, due in February. She's ranting about "Who is going to give me my shower?" I thought you only got 1 shower? Is it proper to have one for each pregnancy?


I know alot of people who have a shower for each pregnancy. Whether it's proper etiquite to have more than one is debatable I guess.

However someone walking around asking people to hold a shower for them is in poor taste in my opinion, kinda like asking 'hey one of you get something organzied so I can get free stuff ok?' It's just not acceptable in my book, but that's just me.

[Edwina's Secretary]

I am making this up but if I said..."I think having breasts is the most natural thing and I am very proud of my breasts. And do you know how hot my breasts get in the summer? So I am going to go shopping with my breasts bare."

Or a man says I think the most natural thing in the world, and something I am very proud of is my...........................

Or...buttocks or...whatever bits you want to name.

What's the difference?

I think some parts of the body are, in our culture covered. (and that goes for butt cracks too!)

[lizbud]

I think it's rude & crude to display yourself like that in public. The way
she dresses at home is her business but, it's not in public. She can be just
as proud (or whatever) in proper clothing. A lightweight summer top is just
as cool as exposed skin. IMO. :)

[cyber-sibes]

I personally am uncomfortable with pregnant bellies showing in public, and non pregnant girls bare midriff and those kids (or plumbers) walking around with their pants around their knees showing their undies or parts of their butt I'd rather not see. I think it's not in good taste and should be covered but that's my own personal opinion. :D What she said!
I honestly don't get the current trend for skin-tight pregnancy clothes either :confused:, but at least it's covered.

[critter crazy]

I would never do that! at home, sure, in public absolutely not!!

[catnapper]

All I could think of is how chilly it got all of the sudden.... why show off a bare belly in October when its chilly?!? I can kind of understand in August when its awful outside, but a chilly October afternoon? I think not. I was wearing sweats and such yesterday... showing off skin anywhere wasn't in the wardrobe plan for the afternoon. Even my ankles were fully covered in nice cushy socks :p

I also hate to see anyone's belly (and butt crack ;)) I was thrilled when I saw the longer shirts coming into style. Even more thrilled to hear high-waisted pants are coming back in too. Just because they're comfortable with their body doesn't mean everyone else is!

[sumbirdy]

My ex-SIL used to do that when she was pregnant with Nathan. She thought she was sexy and wanted every guy to see her (even though she was married) and she had one of the nastiest pregnant bellies I have ever seen. (I've seen quite a few and never thought they were really gross, and then I seen hers)
Personally, I don't like to see them out in public and I would never do it.

[ilovemypup]

I'm sorry.. I just can't see it..It freaks me out...a person growing inside of you.. eek!I think that when you are pregnant with a baby that its a very.. erm..personal thing (the baby bump )

[moosmom]

I think that when you are pregnant with a baby that its a very.. erm..personal thing (the baby bump )

Absolutely!!!

[jackie]

Haha, you should come over her if something like a bare pregnant belly makes you uncomfortable.

I work on the beach and see men, women, and children of all ages and sizes in thongs everyday. A 90 year old man in a red thong, GROSS, a pregnant woman's belly? Pah, bring it on. :p

[moosmom]

Jackie,

I'm SURE that's a sight to see!!! The big, old burly guy, beer belly hanging over his thong??? GGGGGGAAAAARRRRROOOOOSSSSSSSSS!!!! :p

What I really wanted to say to that girl was, "Put that thing away, will ya??"

[Twisterdog]

Just because something is natural, doesn't mean it's for the whole public world to see. If that were the case, one could walk around entirely naked, right? Since the entire body is natural, and I'm sure many people are quite proud of their entire bodies.

I personally don't want to see a strangers bare, pregnant belly. Nor do I wish to see a strangers butt crack, or thong underwear, or extreme clevage, etc.

Just because one is proud, unmodest, whatever doesn't mean the rest of us share those views.

[RICHARD]

Or a man says I think the most natural thing in the world, and something I am very proud of is my...........................




I guess it is kinda wierd to be proud of something so ugly, even thought it's half of the "where life begins" equation. :eek:

--------------

Any ladies,

When your plumbing gets clogged you'll be praying to see buttcrack.

Running into a plumber's pants.

[sirrahved]

I think that being pregnant is the most natural thing in the world and it would be a sin to be ashamed of your "baby bump". I personally would not walk around BB&B with my pregnant belly hanging out but it wouldn't bother me to see it. Perhaps this is her first baby and she is just proud. When a woman is pregnant she thinks differently. Perhaps in her mind she thinks that everyone is as proud of her belly and as excited about her baby as she is. I know when I was pregnant I LOVED when someone *asked* to pat my belly or asked me questions about my baby. It may not even occur to her that someone might not want to see her pregnant belly.

Then again I don't understand why that would make anyone any more uncomfortable then seeing a girl baring her midriff or a guy walking around like a thug with his pants around his knees ???


I must be so unnatural, not able to get pregnant and all :rolleyes:

I don't like tummy exposure, whether it's baby-filled or not. My personal opinion.

[Sirrahsim]

I must be so unnatural, not able to get pregnant and all :rolleyes:


A person's ability or inability to get pregnant does not change the fact that pregnancy is a natural process.
I'm hurt that you would even suggest I was implying something like that.

[Blue_Frog]

My 2 cents -- if you're pregnant, its your belly. If you wanna walk around showing your naked belly, its not illegal, but expect raised eyebrows and disapproval from many people around you - just because its not illegal, doesn't mean that its not going to make people uncomfortable. Personally, It kind of makes me uncomfortable to see it, for personal reasons.

Here in Ontario, its perfectly legal for me to walk around topless - same kind of thing in a way - perfectly legal, but socially dubious. I highly doubt that a lot of people would want to see me hanging out for all to view, and i'm sure if i did that walking around the shopping plaza, i'd get more than my share of stares and unwanted attention.

... I'll do that up at the cottage, where theres no one around for miles so i can work on my tan however. ;)

[Cataholic]

A person's ability or inability to get pregnant does not change the fact that pregnancy is a natural process.
I'm hurt that you would even suggest I was implying something like that.

I had that same reaction! I understand that these feelings run very deep, but, to suggest Missy was implying something like that is out of line. You two are related! While she has been blessed with the ability to carry two children, I imagine it does weigh on her heart that you cannot. :(


As for pregnant bellies showing or not, it doesn't rise to a level of frustration for me. Wanna show it? Do it. I usually find it kind of cute.

My own belly? Ack! Not on anyone's life. That was too gross. :)

[moosmom]

Cataholic,

I was also taken aback at the responses of Sirrahveb and Sirrahsim. Come on ladies, I didn't mean to start a war here. I simply asked for opinions on a naked pregnant belly exposure. Please make up so I don't feel so bad. :(

[Sirrahsim]

I'm not looking for a war here Donna. I love my sister in law Devon and wouldn't dream of being angry with her over something like this. Chances are that she was just trying to be silly anyway. I'll take it to PMs

[sirrahved]

I will not apologize for being offended by this term, but I WILL apologize for being sarcastic in my response. Not the best way to deal with frustrations.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

[shais_mom]

I've one better for you Donna. A couple years ago I was walking out of a shoe store and met a woman holding a toddler's hand and an infant in one of those slings across her body, breast feeding the infant, while walking into the store....
I realize that breast feeding is one of the most natural things in the world but I also think some discretion should be used. There was none in that case. When my sister breast fed my nephews it was a huge production, she had to prop him up with pillows- she had pillows all around him and herself and covered up with a blanket. That is what I was used to - so to see someone walking into a store doing was a bit of a surprise!
I also don't think that its appropriate to do it at restaurant tables in front of other diners. One of my co-workers went to a wedding reception shortly after she had her baby and she went to the bathroom and met a woman from their table - breast feeding in this tiny bathroom which was fine but spent the whole time my co-worker was in there complaining b/c the bathroom was so small and she really wanted to feed the baby where there was more room like at the dinner table. This was apparently a very elegant black tie - no kids allowed reception. :eek:

[sirrahved]

I've one better for you Donna. A couple years ago I was walking out of a shoe store and met a woman holding a toddler's hand and an infant in one of those slings across her body, breast feeding the infant, while walking into the store....
I realize that breast feeding is one of the most natural things in the world but I also think some discretion should be used. There was none in that case. When my sister breast fed my nephews it was a huge production, she had to prop him up with pillows- she had pillows all around him and herself and covered up with a blanket. That is what I was used to - so to see someone walking into a store doing was a bit of a surprise!
I also don't think that its appropriate to do it at restaurant tables in front of other diners. One of my co-workers went to a wedding reception shortly after she had her baby and she went to the bathroom and met a woman from their table - breast feeding in this tiny bathroom which was fine but spent the whole time my co-worker was in there complaining b/c the bathroom was so small and she really wanted to feed the baby where there was more room like at the dinner table. This was apparently a very elegant black tie - no kids allowed reception. :eek:

For me, this is also a skin issue. If I don't see parts that are usually covered up, then feed your baby wherever you please. I was out with a woman just last week that fed her baby at the table, and I never saw so much as a flash of anything.

Having a breast exposed in public would be a completely different thing.

[shais_mom]

For me, this is also a skin issue. If I don't see parts that are usually covered up, then feed your baby wherever you please. I was out with a woman just last week that fed her baby at the table, and I never saw so much as a flash of anything.

Having a breast exposed in public would be a completely different thing.
the way she had the shirt and the baby positioned the only thing you COULDN'T see was her ni@@le.

[sirrahved]

That's too much! There are ways to position slings so no one would even know you are BFing.

[Miss Z]

Haha, you should come over her if something like a bare pregnant belly makes you uncomfortable.

I work on the beach and see men, women, and children of all ages and sizes in thongs everyday. A 90 year old man in a red thong, GROSS, a pregnant woman's belly? Pah, bring it on. :p

Ick, I know exactly what you mean, seen WAY too much of that whilst holidaying on Mediterranean shores.

It always seems to be the over 50, overweight people that seem to think they're glorious enough to throw off their bikini top and strut around in a teeny polka dot thong. :p

For once, the modest ones are the young pretty girls! ;)

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Ok, I admit to being a prude myself and sometimes seeing "too much" of other people can make me feel uncomfortable. But, you know, I think we all could all lighten up a bit. It's just a body part. We all have body parts. One of the reasons that women are afraid to breast feed (which is ultimately better for the baby) is because of how society views it. And, it's just a breast (or stomach) really, what is the big deal?

[mruffruff]

This old lady doesn't want to see anything she wouldn't show of her own. She doesn't wear a thong, low riders or belly-showing shirts. She has a little respect for other people's sensitivities.

My belly is natural too. Wanna see?

[moosmom]

Mruffruff,

ROFLMAO!!!! I got one of those too!!! Wanna see?

I also have a badonkadonk butt and cottage cheese thighs, but ya don't see ME showing them to the world.

[kitten645]

The notion that "it's the most natural thing" irks me in that...so is farting and belching. Doesn't mean I need tp be exposed to it. I understand it's a joyful time in THEIR lives. Doesn't mean it should be shoved down my throat. I think that a pregnant woman that dresses appropriatley is hardly 'ashamed" of her belly. Just considerate of others. I'm finding more and more that people in general are oblivious to others. "It's all about me". This extends to everything mentioned here. Even notice that the people who tend to like to show skin are usually the ones you'd LEAST like to see?? :rolleyes: ;)

[JenBKR]

Personally, I have been very disappointed in maternity clothes since getting pregnant. They are tight and are made to show off the 'bump.' I don't really understand why pregnant women would want to dress like that. I have some maternity clothes, but for the most part I have been wearing regular tee shirts with maternity jeans or sweats. I just want to be comfortable (not to mention I feel like a huge elephant ;) ). If someone wants to flaunt it all like that that's their choice, but certainly not mine. Then again, I was never one to wear short skirts and tiny little shirts, even when I was thin and would have actually looked good in them. It's just not me.

I also have no problem with breastfeeding done in public. It's much healthier for the baby. However, I do believe it can be done modestly.

[Cataholic]

One of the reasons that women are afraid to breast feed (which is ultimately better for the baby) is because of how society views it. And, it's just a breast (or stomach) really, what is the big deal?


So true. You poop and pee in a bathroom- you do NOT eat in a bathroom. Why would a woman breastfeed her child in a bathroom? That is so hugely gross.

I have BF at a table, in a church, at a place of employment, in a mall, a park, etc. Thankfully I am not one of those people bothered by the public opinion that the use of my breasts for their purpose is 'wrong'. As a former extended bf'er, I *never* saw any blatant displays of bf'ing. Never. I do think people tend to look for such blatant displays, and play them up.

BF my child should be simple and easy, it shouldn't be a production, it shouldn't involve lots of cover-ups and pillows, etc...

[shais_mom]

I *never* saw any blatant displays of bf'ing. Never. I do think people tend to look for such blatant displays, and play them up.

I wasn't looking for blatant displays, I was walking out of store. :confused:


BF my child should be simple and easy, it shouldn't be a production, it shouldn't involve lots of cover-ups and pillows, etc...
I realize that, but this is what my sister did with her first baby, to each their own, everyone's different, YOU oughta know that!!! :)

[lizbud]

The notion that "it's the most natural thing" irks me in that...so is farting and belching. Doesn't mean I need tp be exposed to it. I understand it's a joyful time in THEIR lives. Doesn't mean it should be shoved down my throat. I think that a pregnant woman that dresses appropriatley is hardly 'ashamed" of her belly. Just considerate of others. I'm finding more and more that people in general are oblivious to others. "It's all about me". This extends to everything mentioned here. Even notice that the people who tend to like to show skin are usually the ones you'd LEAST like to see?? :rolleyes: ;)


Great post. I really like the way you expressed your opinion. :)

[Dorothy39]

Waaaay back in the 60's, while at a grocery store with my older sister( I was 12 years old at the time), I asked her. "How do you feel about being pregnant in pubic?) I mean, I knew that Lucille Ball had made a public appearance on televison(what a doll)~

She told me that it didn't bother her in the least, let me mention here that she was a prim and proper lady too , neat and tidy.

Anyways, When "I" was pregnant, I never felt like a standout in the crowd,I was very proper while out in the public~~~~ but for "kicks' ~~~~I did have one of my kids take a picture of myself in a bikinii when I was in full term :D


But, to actually show this picture to everyone? No way!!!

[Dorothy39]

Waaaay back in the 60's, while at a grocery store with my older sister( I was 12 years old at the time), I asked her. "How do you feel about being pregnant~~ in pubic?) I mean, I knew that Lucille Ball had made a public appearance on televison BY NOW !!!(what a doll)~

She told me that it didn't bother TO her in the least, let me mention here that she was a prim and proper lady too , neat and tidy.

Anyways, When "I" was pregnant, I never felt like a standout in the crowd,I was very proper while out in the public~~~~ but for "kicks' ~~~~I did have one of my kids take a picture of myself in a bikinii when I was in full term :D (1981)


But, to actually show this picture to everyone? No way Jose~ :eek:

Demi Moore changed the view on a cover of "Life " magazine,