Dusty's 'time' has almost come *UPDATE post #39, she's gone*

[Catlady711]

My oldest cat Dusty is just shy of 17 years old, I've had her since 1995. She's had severe osteoarthritis for several years, getting worse each year. We've had her on Cosaquin for several years and added an omega 3 supplement last year. Early this year we gave her several Metacam injections which only worked for a short while, then switched her over to Tramadol. Neither pain med is approved for use in cats. It's a big struggle to get a pill in her but we've been hobbling by for a few months now.

About a month or so ago Dusty was diagnosed with a fast heart rate and congestive heart failure and has been retaining fluids in her abdomen. We've had her on a low dose of Lasix since then. Until a couple weeks ago things had been doing halfway decent despite the prognosis, now she seems to sleep alot, drink alot of water and pees like a racehorse. She is still eating but only small amounts more frequently and she's gotten picky about what she wants to eat, so I've been letting her have treats, the adult cat food, pretty much what ever cat food she wants.

Last night was awful. She was just laying there staring off into space, her breathing seemed fast, and she wasn't much interested in being brushed. I gave her the lasix injection and sat with her quite a while. I talked with her about letting me know when it was 'time' and cried over her for about 2 hours. She was having a bad night and I honestly figured that today would be her last day with me. I tried to get a pain pill in her and she threw it up.

This morning she seemed perkier, more interested in things around her, but still doing some fast breathing. I locked the other cats up and let Dusty have run of the house before her vet appt. She seemed to appreciate it and didn't sleep all day like she had been. Although I noticed a new area she'd licked raw since I went to bed last night. She's been an obsessive groomer for years, we figure it's boredome, but this latest raw patch is huge compared to the rest.

The vet said she was retaining fluid in more than just her abdomen now, and had a very fast heart rate, 140. He said we were giving her a low dose of the Lasix and could increase it and go more often to get rid of the fluids so she could breath easier. I asked him point blank if it was cruel of me to keep her alive just because she was still eating and if it was any kind of quality of life for her. He said in a couple days we'll know if this will do anything for her and if not then it is her 'time', if it does there are other things we could try (although like many things with Dusty, they aren't actually approved for use in cats). I've decided to take her to the campground this weekend which she LOVES to go there, and schedule an appt. next Thursday to have her PTS.

I spent most of the day crying on and off. I don't want her suffering but she's got just enough faculties left that she seems better than she is. The vet said she looked 'decievingly good', meaning she's hiding alot from me. Three of my coworkers seemed to think it was her 'time' already and my mom and hubby said they would have had her PTS a few months ago.

I've never had to actually make that decision myself before. All 3 of my guinea pigs died suddenly on their own, and I've never had any other pet long enough to experience old age like this. In 1997 Dusty got sick for 2 weeks and didn't eat the whole time and we had an appt for her to be PTS but I always held out hope she'd recover, and she did. I just have to keep reminding myself, this time she won't recover, there is no miracle this time and it's very hard.

Here's a pix I took of her last night

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/IMG_0780.jpg



And here's the one from this morning

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/IMG_0789.jpg

You can see a difference in her eyes. BTW the redish stuff around her eye is where she has overflowing tears and it stains her fur badly. If I had wiped it up before taking the pix it would look alot better than that.

Anyways, any opinions or suggestions as to knowing 'for sure' when it's 'time' short of very bad suffering? I'm so indecisive on this, although the vet thinks she has at least a few more days if the lasix works.


Dusty in 1995 a day before she became my house kitty.

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/Dusty1.jpg

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry to hear that Dusty's time has almost come.:( I know that you're doing everything possible for her and you don't want to see her suffer. You'll know when her time has come. She'll let you know. My RB Pepper let me know by the look in his eyes and he was trying to tell me that he had enough.:(
I've only had to do this once and it's a very hard decision but I could never have an animal continue to live in pain or suffering just because I wanted to keep it alive. I hope that this makes sense. Just give her lots of loving and comfort with the time that you have left. I'm sure that she knows that you love her and are doing everything possible to make her days comfortable ones. May her passing be a smooth journey to the Rainbow Bridge. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Catty1]

I hope the increased med gives her some more comfort and helps her enjoy her camping trip a bit. :)

What a dear darling girl with slightly crumpled ear-tips!

I want my cats to live long lives, we all do - but then it leaves more of a hole.

HUGS to you and Dusty. Know we are all here for you.

[Rie Rie]

I can understand how you feel. My RB Sasha was 15 years old when I nocticed she just wasn't herself and took her in and the vet found all sorts of problems with her. The decision to have them PTS is the hardest thing to do, because you had her so long, she's like one of your children. I just knew in my heart that it was her time, so I took her home and loved her and let the kids spend some time with her then took her the next day to be PTS. I made the appt. at the end of the day so that my husband could go with me and we could go bury her out in the country where we plan to move. That was tough and I cried for days. A couple of weeks later, I saw a shadow out the corner of my eye coming into my room and it was her. I even felt her get on my pillow above my head one night, that is where she used to sleep. I still miss her a lot and that's been 6years ago, but she was like one of my kids.
I think you will know in your heart when it's time and she will be ready. Just keep doing what you're doing as far as letting her have what ever she wants and give her lots of love. God Bless you and Dusty.

[Randi]

Oh poor sweet Dusty - and you. :( I'm so sorry to hear her time has come, and I know how very hard it is. :( She knows you are doing everything possible to comfort her, and I hope she'll enjoy her day out at the campground. Be with her and cuddle her all you can, and let her have a gentle trip to the RB when the time comes.

My thoughts are with you. Take care!

((((hugs))))

[Freedom]

Hugs and prayers for you and for Dusty. One of the hardest things about our pets is that their live span is shorter than ours. You are already doing what you need to do, making informed decisions, keeping her welfare in mind, keeping her comfortable.

[kb2yjx]

It is never easy to make the decision to end a dear friend's life. But you wil know, Dusty will let you know. Hugs and prayers to you both...

[Anikaca77]

My prays are with you and Dusty. It's a hard decision to make but you will know when you will need to. My heart goes out to you two.

[rkidsrcats]

You will make the right decision at the right time because you love her and have always wanted and provided what was good for her.
I've always believed that the final responsibility I have as my cats' companion is to do this hard thing and help them go in comfort and dignity, knowing they were loved and will be missed.
Our thoughts are with you.

The Tribe

[Pawla]

You may not have to make the decision, as she may make it for you. I lost my sixteen year old in March. He had no health problems up until about three days prior. I had the "talk" with him also. Told him I loved him, that he'd been a good boy, and that he could go when he wanted. I just asked him to not make me have to make the decision. I took him to the vet the next morning, Wednesday, and he died on Monday. We were giving him fluids to try to help eliminate the nitrogen in his system, but he finally gave out. I learned eleven days later, when Menu Foods announced the recall, that the food I had been feeding him was recalled. It is so very hard to let them go. I know you don't want to watch her suffer. No one does. Whatever happens, just know that you both are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated.{{{HUGS}}}

[Donnaj4962]

I am so sorry to hear that Dusty is not doing well. I can only imagine what you must be going through, but I know that you will make the right decision when the time is here.

Dusty is a gorgeous kitty, and has known love for the many years that you have been together. That is so important to keep in mind.

Many prayers for you and Dusty. I know that you will do what's right, when the time is right. You and Dusty will know. God bless you.

[Taz_Zoee]

I am so sorry to hear about Dusty. I have no advice for you as to knowing when the time is right. I have not had to make that decision in my adult life and do not look forward to it. So my heart goes out to you and I know what ever and when ever the time comes it will be the best thing for Dusty.

[Medusa]

This makes me so sad. You can see her feelings in her eyes, sweet girl. We say that we'll know when the time is right but sometimes we don't know because, as your vet said, they look 'deceivingly good'. Look at it this way: Dusty will spend her last days camping w/you, doing what she loves, in a place she loves w/the person she loves the most. How we wish that for all our furkids and for our humans, too. Trust your instincts and your vet. If you feel Dusty's quality of life is suffering, then you'll know what to do. And you also know that everyone here at PT is sending out lots of prayers for Dusty and you. Enjoy your time together in peace.

[Catlady711]

This morning was much better. Dusty's pain pills kicked in, the temp/humidity was lower, and her Lasix did it's job. When I went in her room she was up on the cat condo looking out the window. I haven't seen her up there in a long time. She jumped right down and meowed hello when I came in, and ate her breakfast with more enthusiasm than I've seen in a while, although she doesn't eat much, she eats frequently. You should see her crunchy food bowl. It's a mish-mesh of stuff, 3 kinds of treats and 3 kinds of cat food, whatever my baby wants.

I'm getting our stuff together to go to the campground tonight. Whatever Dusty wants we can do whether it's riding on the golf cart, taking a short walk around the site, or just sitting under the awning enjoying a peaceful evening.

I already set up the appointment for Thurs. July 5 at 4:20 to have her PTS. Even if she's doing better I've made the decision that I'd rather remember her last days with her feeling good, rather than wait until she has another night like Wed. night or worse. I'm already in tears just typing this. If I even think about her being gone, or hear a sad song I start crying and she's not even gone yet.

I've been taking alot of pix and video of her the last couple days.

A friend of mine has an album that has a song that not only brings me to tears, but is just so appropriate. I thought I'd share the lyrics with you. He is an irish folk song singer, and his music is very traditional celtic folk music. She picked up his album when he was a street singer in Florida a few years ago.


I have to listen to it to type out the lyrics, so I'm gonna be crying through this whole thing, hope I don't drown your computers.




Album: Raised On Songs And Stories
Song: DON'T CRY FOR ME
Artist: IAN MILLER

Just take me out to the sea
Let me go with the breeze I'm free
I'll sail in the Heavens
hand in hand with my love

And you will know in your heart
Where I'll be It's all a part of life
So don't cry for me

Watch me sail off through the clouds
Feel my heart, hear it sing out loud
Watch me dance, I can dance on the silver linings

Watch me fly and hear me sing
All the peace, the joy, the love will bring
It's my time, so don't cry for me

Don't look behind
I'll be sailing around the universe
And the stars they'll be watching over you

And I know that you'll be fine
You and yours can have peace of mind
It's my time, so don't cry for me

I've lived a life that's full
The ups and downs
And still somehow my heart wants to sing out every morning

So now my days are done
I'll just sail out into the sun
It's my time Don't cry for me

Don't look behind
I'll be sailing around the universe
And the stars they'll be watching over you

And I know You'll be fine
You and yours can have peace of mind
It's my time, so don't cry for me

[Medusa]

I'm sure you've made the right decision. I probably would do the same thing, all things considered. As for the song, ya gotta love the Irish. They can really tear at your heartstrings. My ex-boyfriend is Irish and he knew how to do it, believe me. But the lyrics are beautiful and the sentiment is, too.

[Taz_Zoee]

Major LES here. I was smiling through tears while reading the lyrics to that song. That is very appropriate.
Enjoy your last days with your baby. You will be in my thoughts.

[jennielynn1970]

Oh my... tears are pouring down my face and onto the laptop. Those lyrics are just beautiful.

Before fostering, I've never had to make the decision to have any pet PTS, my parents always did it. The past year I've had to make that choice for two very special boys. My sweetheart Bear will have crossed the bridge one year ago on July 5th. I was just thinking about him and how it's been almost a year, and how much I miss him. He was my big softy, the sweetest boy in the world. It was so hard to see him go down hill, and have nothing work for him, but even harder was when I didn't know he was even sicker than I knew. They are excellent at hiding their illnesses, and I think they know how much we hurt for them.

Make Dusty's last weekend a good one! I hope you both enjoy camping together. I'm sure she'll appreciate every moment spent with you.

Bless you both, and I'll be thinking of the both of you. {{BIG HUGS}}

[Pawla]

Hope you all have a good weekend camping. I'm not worried about you drowning my computer, I seem to be doing that by myself!

[catmandu]

That of course is the hardest thing we have to do is knowing when Our Beloved Companions are no longer well and when its time to say goodbye.
If its too soon you feel as though you have deprived them of life. If its too late then you feel badly that they have suffered.
Thats wonderful that you will have this final camping trip and a chance to say all the things that you have always wanted to say to Dusty.
We are saying Prayers for you all.

[dionne]

Catlady711-

As of late, I haven't really been responding on any of the threads, but then I started to read your posting.

I'm looking at Abby right now, and I could not even begin to IMAGINE the pain you are feeling about your decision. I know it was a very hard decision for you. The only thing I can say, is just know that you made the right decision, and regardless of who tells you when you "should have", you are making the decision now, and it is the best possible thing for your beautiful girl.

All you can do at this point is just cherish the time you have left with her, and make sure she's comfortable. I am so glad that her last days are good for her.

Take care. You and Dusty are in my thoughts.

Dionne

[pitc9]

Please know that you are in my thoughts.

Earlier this month I made the decision to help my parent’s dog to the bridge. She was 13 and could no longer use one of her hind legs.

I went to the house to see her on a Tuesday night and the second I looked into her eyes I knew she was tired and ready for her trip.
I had a vet come to the house the very next day and her passing was very peaceful and comfortable.

She'll appreciate her last few days being filled with special times and special treats too I'm sure.
{{hugs}} to you.

[slick]

:( :( Major LES going on here too. A decision like this is never easy to make. For selfish reasons we want to hold off as long as possible, yet it hurts too much to see our beloved pet suffer. For what it's worth, I think you are making the right decision.

Hold her and kiss her....once for each Pet Talker. After you get home from camping, you'll need to take some time to adjust to life without Dusty but know that we are here, waiting to see some pictures so we, too, can say good-bye to your dear sweet kitty.

Big {{{hugs}}} and try to enjoy your weekend.

PS: Will you have the vet come to your home?? That's what I did with Speckles and it was comforting to hold her in my arms as she whisked away to the Rainbow Bridge.

[AbbyMom]

Thank you for giving her the final gift. I'm crying too hard right now to write more, but please believe me when I say you're doing the right thing.

[momcat]

Major LES happening here. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. The right decision is often the hardest to make. Dusty knows how very much she's loved,you've given her a wonderful life. You and sweet Dusty are in my prayers.

[Catlady711]

Major LES happening here.


What does LES mean?

[krazyaboutkatz]

What does LES mean?
It means leaky eye syndrome.:(

[jazzcat]

What does LES mean?
Leaky Eye Syndrome.

You and Dusty are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Catlady711]

Dusty was very playful and talkative all morning Fri. She even played ALOT for a cat her age and health. I think she wore herself out though because the rest of the day she was more tired than normal, and as it is she sleeps the majority of the day.

Dusty seemed to enjoy her last trip to the campground. She rode down very well, although she seemed much more tired than usual. She did stand up in her travel basket a few times for some of her favorite sights, but slept through some she usually enjoys.

In previous summers she would jump down out of the car and jog into the trailer. We don't let her jump down on her own anymore though, we set her on the ground. This time was the first time she hasn't had the strength to walk up to the trailer on her own. She did manage to walk across the deck and inside on her own though. Then as usual promply demanded her bowls be put down and filled, and checked to make sure her sandbox was in the right place.

Fri. evening she did go for a very, very short walk around the picinic table and back. In previous summers she would walk the road around our trailer, about 1/4 mile. She sat looking out the door for a while, then went under the covers of the bed and slept alot. We gave her the lasix injection and she was a good kitty as usual.

Saturday morning she demanded her wet food promptly at 5:30 a.m. and then proceded to talk to us alot. She crawled back in bed with me and layed under my covers for quite a while. She didn't seem to want to go sit on the deck or ride on the golf cart, although in my heart I was sort of dissapointed seeing as this was her very last trip. I wanted her to enjoy everything one last time, but I wasn't going to make her do anything she didn't want to do. She slept most of Saturday under the covers or under the table. She did take a few breaks for meals, drinking alot of water, peeing, and occasionally watching birds outside the door. We gave her the lasix injection and as usual she was a very good kitty about it. Again she didn't want to go sit on the deck, so we didn't make her. Later we gave her the pain pill. Amazingly enough I got it down her the first time and we promptly gave her some mac & cheese which took her mind off having just been pilled. She kept her meds down, hallalujah!! She spent the rest of the night in a drug induced daze, and lay on the foot of my bed staring at the wall until I fell alseep.

Today she promptly demanded her wet food at 6 a.m. then played with her sisal rat and beat up her catnip bag for awhile. She even kicked her 'kick-a-sock' across the kitchen! Then she was tired after about 10 minutes so she came back to bed with me for awhile. The effects of the pain pill just aren't lasting anywhere nearly as long as they used to. When I woke up to stay up but she prefered to stay sleeping until afternoon. When she did wake up she stood by the door and watched birds and butterflies for about 1/2 hour. Then she went back to bed again. We let her sleep a bit longer then when she got up for a drink, potty break and a few crunchies, we let her look around in the cupboards. She's always been a nosey cat. She was named Dusty because she likes to stick her nose into all kinds of spaces often coming out with dusty cobwebs on her whiskers.

Mom and I talked alot about all the things Dusty has always liked to do and remenised about the travels Dusty has been on and some of her neat little quirks. I was close to tears many times. Mom mentioned that I was frequently saying about how she was playing this weekend, and eating good, and enjoying some things. Mom said I was trying to talk myself out of having her PTS, and said to me "it's her 'time', she's had a very good life and she's tired and in pain, it's time to let her go" I about lost it then.

I took lots of pix of her this weekend and almost cried when I held her paw and had her 'waving' goodbye to each and every thing at the campsite and trailer.

She did well on the ride home, but only stood up when we first pulled out, and when we first got home. The rest of the time she slept in her travel basket. She used to rarely sleep on her travels. I brought her inside and right into the cpu room so she wouldn't have to contend with the othre cats sniffing her which she hates. She promptly got a drink and has been mostly sleeping in her basket ever since. She's gotten up a few times for a drink, and a couple crunchies, but basically she does look 'tired' to me. She's not eating as much as she was even a couple days ago, so I'm feeding her more wet food, and so far she's eating it better.

When I go into work tomorrow, I'm going to go ahead and sign the form to have her PTS on Thursday. I don't think on the day of her appointment, I'll be able to look her in the eyes and sign that form then. I am starting to realize I've been deluding myself as to 'how well' I thought she'd been doing, and even though I don't want to say goodbye to her I know I'm not doing her any favors by doing that, it would be for me, not her. So for these last few days she's got with me I'm spending a huge chunk of time petting her, saying goodbye, taking many pix, doing alot of crying, remenising about all the good times in the past, and helping her to enjoy every moment she has left with me. And I'm going to have to stop typing here because I'm going to drown the keyboard if I don't.

Here's some of the pix I took of her this weekend. (the red scabby spots on her legs and belly are where she's licked herself in the last few weeks and the person driving the car is my mom)

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/IMG_0827.jpg


http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/IMG_0832.jpg


http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/IMG_0857.jpg


http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/IMG_0854.jpg


http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/dustysride.jpg


http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/dustyride2.jpg


http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l17/Catlady711/IMG_0871.jpg

[CathyBogart]

*Hugs* for you and Dusty. She is such a lovely lady, and she's lucky to have had you all these years.

[Medusa]

How loving and wise of you to take Dusty to the campground one last time. What wonderful, bittersweet memories you'll have that will make you smile. Give her a gentle hug for me and my fur posse.

[Pawla]

You and Dusty are in my thoughts and prayers. I will be thinking of you both often this week. I'm so sorry. Dusty has been a lucky lady to have had you all these years, and you to have had her. Sounds like you will have lots of good times with her to remember.

[Donnaj4962]

Oh my... here I am at work, LES at my desk as I read about your trip this weekend. How bittersweet that must have been for all of you. I LOVE the one of Dusty sitting in her basket, checking everything out. So sweet. And I am sure one you will cherish for years to come.

Hugs to you and Dusty. I know Thursday will be hard for you. You will be in my prayers.

[orangemm]

Hugs and prayers for you and Dusty. what a wonderful memorable trip for her and you.

Just tell her you love her. She will know.



((((hugs))))

[krazyaboutkatz]

Hugs and prayers for you and Dusty. what a wonderful memorable trip for her and you.

Just tell her you love her. She will know.



((((hugs))))

Very well said. Major LES here too.:( My thoughts and prayers are going out to you. You're doing the right thing. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Kalei]

Oh my goodness, I can't hold my tears back:( It is so sad. My Bobo is 15 and sometimes I sit and think that he doesn't have too many more years with me anymore and I can barely comprehend the pain that I am going to feel when the day comes. So just hearing about you and Dusty is so sad.

But I am so glad that you and Dusty could spend one last great time together and you could get lots of pictures and memories. You are doing the right thing, and I think in some way Dusty will let you know that you are doing what's right for her. All of my prayers are going out for you and Dusty, that you will both be okay and know that everything will be alright.

[catmandu]

The Pet Angels Understand That Dusty Could Not Make Thier Party As She Had That Incredible Weekend With You.
They Are Going To Bring Her Salmon From Brainbridge Island And Have An Incredible Party Planned For Her When Dusty Comes To Join Them Thursday At The Rainbow Bridge.
That Was So Appreciated By Dusty To Go Camping One Last Time.

[moosmom]

Catlady,

I'm sitting here sobbing as I just got through reading the lyrics.

Dusty is a very lucky girl to have you in her life. My Mollie Rose is 13 and I can't even imagine my life without her. I know when it's her time, I'll be inconsolable, as she is my very first kitty and has been with me through ALL of my good times and bad.

(((((HUGS)))))) to you and Dusty.

[kb2yjx]

Your words about Dusty are just so touching! I loved the photo of her in the basket next to your Mom while she is driving! Such a classy kitty!! Like several of the people that have posted, I have an older population(Norton 15, Molly 14, Raven, Tina, and Nicholas all 11)and know we stand the chance of losing all of them in a few years. But right now, every day is so special. Just like the days you have left with Dusty!!! HUGS!!!!

[Catlady711]

She's gone!!

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?p=1852639#post1852639

:eek:

thank you all for your most kind words, prayers and tears for me and Dusty. we both have appreciated them very much.

[RICHARD]

Prayers and good thoughts to you and your household.. :(

[Alysser]

I am so sorry about Dusty. :( RIP, Sweet kitty.

[mrspunkysmom]

I am so sorry for you and Dusty.

Be at peace.

[Pawla]

I am so very sorry. :(

[K & L]

RIP dear Dusty!! You had a good life and now you will walk pain free at Rainbow Bridge.

[momtomany]

There are no words to take the pain away right now. Know that you are in our prayers.

[catmandu]

The Pet Angel Yacht Has Set Sial And Dusty And Her Angel Friends Are Enjoying Trays Of Appetizers Such As Shrimp Puffs And Lobster Bits.
Shes Having A Grreat Time But She Will Not Be Truly Happy Until You Have Joined Her.
One Fine Day.

[phesina]

My deepest sympathy to you on the loss of your beloved Rusty. What a beautiful cat, and what a beautiful tribute you have made to her with your camping trip together and all the photos.

God bless, and Rest in Peace, lovely beloved Rusty.