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View Full Version : Cool Answering Machine Messages !!



wombat2u2004
06-27-2007, 07:39 AM
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
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9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
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8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling..... and I'll think about returning your call.
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7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
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6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
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5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
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4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.
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3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
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2. Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
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1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back .

elizabethann
06-27-2007, 07:41 AM
Those are funny.

Marigold2
06-27-2007, 07:47 AM
I love number 7

jackmilliesmom
06-28-2007, 03:35 AM
So which one of the John's is you????????????

wombat2u2004
06-28-2007, 04:23 AM
Hmmmm....I think No.10 is pretty cool....LOL
Wom

animal_rescue
06-28-2007, 10:02 AM
So if anyone is interested, this is now my new voicemail message. :p

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

lvpets2002
06-28-2007, 10:18 AM
:p Yup I like #8 & #4.. Yow Wom who is John = you?? :D

sweetpatata6
06-28-2007, 11:13 AM
You can bet # 7 and 4 will take they're turn on my cell... My current one is "Hey this is Leah's cell, and I'm out saving the world right now. You may be calling to thank me and your welcome. Anyways, if you need to reach me leave a message after the beep... Back to saving the world!!"

lvpets2002
06-28-2007, 11:40 AM
:) Hey I like this message.. I would say I am out saving Cats.. :D
You can bet # 7 and 4 will take they're turn on my cell... My current one is "Hey this is Leah's cell, and I'm out saving the world right now. You may be calling to thank me and your welcome. Anyways, if you need to reach me leave a message after the beep... Back to saving the world!!"

moosmom
06-28-2007, 12:46 PM
When I had an answering machine, I had THIS message:

*water splashing* Hi, this is Donna. My trainer Sven and I are in the hot tub after a GRRRRRREAT workout, so I can't come to the phone. Please leave a message after the beep and I'll call you when we're out and dry!"

Tata for for now!!!

*rubber duck squeaks*

Unfortunately, I was up for a job as a secretary at a Synagogue when the Rabbi called to set up a second interview. Needless to say, I DIDN'T get the job!! :p

lvpets2002
06-28-2007, 12:50 PM
:p Well LOL I wonder why Donna.. But I liked your message as well..
When I had an answering machine, I had THIS message:

*water splashing* Hi, this is Donna. My trainer Sven and I are in the hot tub after a GRRRRRREAT workout, so I can't come to the phone. Please leave a message after the beep and I'll call you when we're out and dry!"

Tata for for now!!!

*rubber duck squeaks*

Unfortunately, I was up for a job as a secretary at a Synagogue when the Rabbi called to set up a second interview. Needless to say, I DIDN'T get the job!! :p

sweetpatata6
06-28-2007, 01:18 PM
When I had an answering machine, I had THIS message:

*water splashing* Hi, this is Donna. My trainer Sven and I are in the hot tub after a GRRRRRREAT workout, so I can't come to the phone. Please leave a message after the beep and I'll call you when we're out and dry!"

Tata for for now!!!

*rubber duck squeaks*

Unfortunately, I was up for a job as a secretary at a Synagogue when the Rabbi called to set up a second interview. Needless to say, I DIDN'T get the job!! :p


Yea.... LOL funny funny funny!!

wombat2u2004
06-28-2007, 06:09 PM
When I had an answering machine, I had THIS message:

*water splashing* Hi, this is Donna. My trainer Sven and I are in the hot tub after a GRRRRRREAT workout, so I can't come to the phone. Please leave a message after the beep and I'll call you when we're out and dry!"

Tata for for now!!!

*rubber duck squeaks*

Unfortunately, I was up for a job as a secretary at a Synagogue when the Rabbi called to set up a second interview. Needless to say, I DIDN'T get the job!! :p

HAH !!!! Classic !!!!!!
Geez........I would have given ya the job !!!! :D
Wom

wombat2u2004
06-28-2007, 06:11 PM
:p Yup I like #8 & #4.. Yow Wom who is John = you?? :D

My mother named me John....but since then, some people have had other names for me, but I won't go into that right now :D
Wom (John)

Catty1
06-28-2007, 06:14 PM
I have a home office right now, so my options are limited...

However, I did call one CEO whose voicemail casually said, "You've almost reached ________ _________. Leave a message and I'll call you back."

THAT I could get away with! :)

wombat2u2004
06-28-2007, 06:34 PM
I have a home office right now, so my options are limited...

However, I did call one CEO whose voicemail casually said, "You've almost reached ________ _________. Leave a message and I'll call you back."

THAT I could get away with! :)

Naw......hit em with No.4 mate. Soon.........all the CEO's will be ringing you :D Heheheheeeeeeeee
Wom

Marigold2
06-28-2007, 09:58 PM
I put number 7 on my answering machine with one addition. I added "no you can't have a beer."