Is it possible to friends with an ex? [Archive]

beeniesmom

03-20-2007, 09:14 AM

Help me out here guys....
I don't feel like explaining the situation.

Is it possible to be friends with an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/wife companion etc?

Please indicate why as well, if you feel like it.

DrKym

03-20-2007, 09:22 AM

My ex and I had a amiciable split, he lived with us the last 2 years until he passed away last august.

So yes it is possible, depends on the terms of the relationship, and how and why you are splitting.

Good luck.

ramanth

03-20-2007, 09:22 AM

I think it's possible. Even though my last ex-boyfriend and I broke up under not the nicest of circumstances, we're still civil to each other. We don't hang out, but he calls me at work something like once a year just to see how I'm doing.

Puckstop31

03-20-2007, 09:22 AM

Jamieejo85

03-20-2007, 10:21 AM

I put yes. One of my ex's is still one of my best friends. We hang out quite often actually .. along with my boyfriend and his new girlfriend. It was kind of awkward at first but I was with him a long time and didn't want to lose his friendship and I am glad I put in the effort to make it work.

LilacDragon

03-20-2007, 10:30 AM

The relationship that I have with my soon to be ex husband is AMAZING!

We live 4 hours apart and don't see each other very often (about once a month) but we talk almost daily on the phone.

We were together for almost 11 years. We both agreed last night that we are a great couple when we don't live together.

Lobodeb

03-20-2007, 10:34 AM

It is very possible.

I am very good friends with an ex-boyfriend of mine. I just came to the conclusion that I could still talk to and confide in him even though he's a terrible boyfriend.

Good luck, Carmen.

finn's mom

03-20-2007, 10:37 AM

I think it depends on the situation. I know I have always been able to be friends with exes. I was friends with my ex-husband until his new wife put the kabosh on that. She was actually the one who wanted us all to hang out, and then within five minutes of meeting me, she changed her mind and was really hateful to me. Oh, well. Her loss. ;) And, I typically don't date men who have insecurity issues where it would become a problem for me to still be friends with guys I've dated in the past. If my fiance has a problem with a guy I've dated, it's because he doesn't like the guy, not because he's an ex. :)

I don't know what your situation is, but i'm sorry you're in it.

angelbow20

03-20-2007, 10:46 AM

Well I was friends with my ex who is my sons father until his evil girlfriend came around. We talked all the time and hungout and then he started dated this girl, well now he doesnt see his son and she doesnt want him to be in his sons life and after 8 yrs of friendship we dont speak or anything anymore :rolleyes:

Uabassoon

03-20-2007, 01:00 PM

My best friend is actually an ex-girlfriend. We broke up though because we realized that we were best friends and not really in love with each other. The great thing is that because we were together she knows me better than anyone else. She's always able to give me the best advice especially when it comes to my relationship with Alexa since she knows exactly how I act when I'm in a relationship.

Barbara

03-20-2007, 04:53 PM

It depends on the persons.
My ex-husband is a very good friend of ours. We had a period while we were divorcing in which it was not easy. But we always were decided that when we chose to get married we chose an interesting person- and I suppose we both were not ready to think bad of our judgment (You know, when people say "What an *?&%?X* my ex is" you always wonder why they didn't notice it earlier).

So after we were separated we kept in contact and have so ever after. He and his wife have stayed at our place and we at theirs. Didier (my ex) still is in the area where I am from and after the death of my dad he helped me with my mom (and we are divorced now 25 years)- he got her a new TV set when hers broke down and even went with her to see the lawyers when she sold our house and I could not come as often as needed as it is 400 miles away.

I am also still friends with old boyfriends of mine- I think the men in my life are a very fine collection (small but precious ;)).

sparks19

03-20-2007, 04:58 PM

I would say yes. My father is great friends with all of his ex wives lol. In fact, him and his g/f would go golfing with my mom and step dad all the time. And when we all went to Florida few years ago one of the other people on the trip was his first ex wife. there is no annimosity there at all. they all even joke about what a terrible married couple they made hahaha.

Edwina's Secretary

03-20-2007, 05:37 PM

I think if you were friends as well as lovers it is very possible. I have been friends with long ago boyfriends. Met their wives....my college boyfriend named his first child after me.

Time and distance have taken their toll on the relationships as well as different lifestyles, etc.

But, of course, it really depends on so many factors....just the other day I asked my husband why he never communicates with his ex-wife. Now the children are grown he finds nothing to talk to her about.

Vio&Juni

03-20-2007, 05:40 PM

Definitely! I agree with Barbara here - when you start dating or when you marry someone it is for something special.

One of my ex-boyfriends is still a very good friend - we went out a few times with him and his wife. We call each other from time to time. If it didn't work out for us as a couple, that doesn't make him less my friend.

mike001

03-20-2007, 05:44 PM

Very possible and very important to remain friends if there are children involved. I voted yes because of a few friends who are split but are great friends. As long as they don't live together they're both great.

CathyBogart

03-20-2007, 07:59 PM

In some situations, yes it is. :) My boyfriend is friends with some of his exes, and I'm friends with some of them too. (His exes, not mine) I've only remained distant friends with one ex, because I dragged things in other relationships out rather than ending them when I should have.

IrishSetterGurl

03-20-2007, 08:05 PM

Its possible!
Me and my ex-boyfriend broke up and we r still good friends!! :)
I dont no about marage cause im too young to get married!lol

cmayer31

03-20-2007, 08:12 PM

It all depends on the situation. I think it is possible and I know that it does happen. In my case however, it is a resounding no. Maybe one day we'll settle our differences but for now we're better off not friends.

wombat2u2004

03-20-2007, 08:16 PM

Well that depends on which ex you mean. I have many !!! LOL....just joking....lol.
Actually....I still live with my ex....she's my best mate....lousy wife, but the best mate one could ever have.
But my first wife ??? Uh uh !!! I couldn't even be bothered to throw rocks at her. So it depends on who your ex is to YOU.
Wombat

slick

03-20-2007, 08:25 PM

In my case, NO. Me too! I tried being friends with my ex but it didn't work out. Then two years later and for some stupid reason, he asked me out and for another stupid reason, I accepted. Dinner was good but the conversation lagged and when he kissed me good night, that told the whole story. I had absolutely no feelings for him at all...friendship or otherwise. That was in 1990 and I have not seen him since.

wombat2u2004

03-20-2007, 08:29 PM

It is possible but not a good idea, IMHO. The trouble comes when one of you find a new relationship. Double the risk if the couple has been intimate together.

Once you cross the "sex line", the die is cast for better or worse.

A sex line ???? What on earth is a sex line ???
I know what sex is, and I know what a line is. But I'm not real sure what it is when you put those two things together.
Are you some sort of randy physicist or something ???
Wombat

sparks19

03-20-2007, 09:24 PM

A sex line ???? What on earth is a sex line ???
I know what sex is, and I know what a line is. But I'm not real sure what it is when you put those two things together.
Are you some sort of randy physicist or something ???
Wombat

well then you are missing out ;) lol

I could tell you what it is.... but then I would have to kill you or break your legs or some other mobster type thing :D

Twisterdog

03-20-2007, 09:44 PM

I think it's possible ... but not easy or common.

My ex and I are civil to each other. We decided long ago that was the only way to be, since we have a child together. I suppose you could even say we are "friendly" with each other ... we chit chat for a few minutes about non-crucial things if we call each other about our son. We give each other a hug goodbye when we meet to pick up or drop off our son. But are we friends, in the true sense of the word? I'm not sure. We caused each other a lot of heartache and pain. We obviously could not live together. However, we shared everything for over a decade, including the most priceless thing of all, our child. I think, if I were truly in serious trouble, I could call Greg and he would help me ... and not just because I'm his son's mother. I know I would do the same for him. So, I suppose that makes us friends ... but not even close to the friendship I have with my "real" friends now. I think it's just more of a long, shared past and a child together.

wombat2u2004

03-21-2007, 01:26 AM

well then you are missing out ;) lol

I could tell you what it is.... but then I would have to kill you or break your legs or some other mobster type thing :D

Ah...I see.......my little mind is turning over now, after realising that your answer was connected to your employment.....line = string.......and beads.
Yes of course........don't the Japanese do that sort of thing ????? LOL
Wombat

catnapper

03-21-2007, 07:45 AM

Most definately. My inlaws were a prime example. They were great friends but shouldn't have ever been married. They always had little affairs here and there during their marriage. When they finally divorced, they both immediately met (aqnd married) other people. When my mother-in-law died, she and my father-in-law were best friends, and their spoiuses were best friends. They always joked that they loved each other but just couldn't live with each other.

wolflady

03-21-2007, 11:32 AM

Reading through some of these responses gives me some hope. I hate the thought of not having my husband in my life, but things are really rough right now because of the split. We both want everything to be amicable regardless of what happens, which is a good thing I guess. I would love to be able to remain friends with him after everything is final since we've been in each others lives for 10 years now. :( We started out as friends and got married, and I guess we were just the type mentioned in some of these posts: friends that got married but really couldn't live together. I know we both really wanted it to work, but it just hasn't worked out that way. :(

lizbud

03-21-2007, 01:51 PM

I would say it depends on the ex.It is possible to be friendly in public
but not a close friend in private. :) You can afford to not hate them but
not be the best of friends anymore.(if that makes any sense)

jackmilliesmom

03-22-2007, 05:52 AM

I have an ex who is still very much my friend and we always talk and chat on the phone or mail - he now lives state side and he and his wife visit me and John and I them.

We all get along great and the fun thing is that his wife was actually a friend of Johns, so we are all comfortable in each others company.

Jo

Pawsitive Thinking

03-22-2007, 06:55 AM

I try to - living in such a small town it is a good idea because I bump into a few of them on a regular basis ;)

wombat2u2004

03-23-2007, 05:59 AM

I try to - living in such a small town it is a good idea because I bump into a few of them on a regular basis ;)

A FEW of them ??? How many bloody ex's do you have ????? LOL
Wombat