My Friend Killed Herself

[sandragonfly]

I've been slacking on posts..

for second time in two years, my good friend killed herself last wednesday, two days after her 36th birthday.. she was my favorite babysitter and we became "sisters" after I left my parents. we went camping and did a lot together when I was in california. we talk over the phone every other two or so months, I loved hearing about her three kids, pets and their activities.. I don't believe this.

not a long ago I posted about missing my heroic grandfather ... feeling so depressed ever as much as I let myself go.. :(

[CountryWolf07]

You are in my thoughts..

Such a tragedy. :(

[borzoimom]

Oh Dear Lord- in my prayers..

[My Peanuts]

I;m so sorry Gina. You will be in my thoughts.

[IRescue452]

I'm sorry to hear this, you'll be in my thoughts

[Queen of Poop]

Oh Gina I am so very sorry. Hugs and prayers to you to help you thru this. Prayers for her family that they can manage thru this oh so difficult time.

[Catty1]

{{{{hugs}}}}

Prayers for you, and for your friend's family and children. I hope no one blames themselves.

[Lobodeb]

Oh no, Gina! This is terrible! I'm so sorry to be reading this.

Please, please, I can't emphasize this enough, please get help to deal with the pain of losing someone to suicide. The pain is like nothing I've ever felt and had it not been for the support group I found, I don't know how I would have coped, especially since I was pregnant.

I'm here if you need help. Please don't go this alone.

You, your friend and her family are in my prayers. :(

[cassiesmom]

I;m so sorry Gina. You will be in my thoughts.

Mine too, Gina.

[sandragonfly]

I thought she loved me very much too.. there must be something not enough I could have done for her. :( :(

[Karen]

Don't blame yourself, sweetie. It was a decision she made, and maybe she couldn't for some reason feel that she was loved and needed in this world. We'll never know, but please do reach out to those around you, to help you through this. Suicide is always hard to deal with, and so many unanswered questions haunt us. It wasn't your fault, remember that, okay?

[pitc9]

hugs to you Gina.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I'm sorry to hear that. :(

[Argranade]

Oh my God .. that's the worse thing anyone can do to them selfs,

It means somthing but I know you feel sad enough so I won't say it.

I'm so very sorry, this is so heart breaking for her family and you .. hope the pets have a home too.

Hope you can get threw this Gina ... what ever her fate I pray everything works out for her. :(

[Anita Cholaine]

Gina, I am so sorry about this :(

My thoughts and prayers are being sent to you and everyone involved. Please, don't blame yourself. Suicide is such a complex thing, and it is no one's fault.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[sirrahbed]

I am so sorry gina (((HUGS)))

[Kalei]

That is terrible, I always hate it when I hear of people commiting suicide...I know they may think they have nothing to live for, but the future always brings happiness in some way and form...so sad. Gina you are definately in my prayers, I am so sorry for what happened. I know I have a bestfriend that is like my sister and if she ever did that I would die inside...I can't imagine how awful you must feel right now. Once again I'm praying for you.

(((((((One great big Hug for your sad Tears))))))))))))

Kalei

[kimlovescats]

How very tragic! :( I pray that her family, you, and her dear motherless children will find strength to get through the painful days ahead!

Hugs,
Kim

[Miss Z]

Gina, I am so sorry. This is tragic news. :(

[Catty1]

I thought she loved me very much too.. there must be something not enough I could have done for her.

Everyone who she loved and who loved her will be thinking this...but blaming yourselves isn't right. There is nothing you could have done...and I have a feeling she would tell you that herself, if she could.

{{{{hugs}}}}, all you need, just ask

[applesmom]

I'm sorry for your loss.

Here is a link to a website that might be helpful. It's free and open to anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one.

Grief healing discussions (http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?act=idx)

[dukedogsmom]

I'm so very sorry. Please do get some help to deal with this. Life can sometimes be overwhelming and we all need help. I hope the family can get through this tough time too.

[Marigold2]

Oh please don't blame yourself Gina. People who kill themselves are often dealing with depression that ONLY a trained theripist can help them with. Their mindset is not rational, nothing that you or anyone else does helps. I have a family member who suffers from depression, she needs to be on meds the rest of her life, she has a chemical imbalance that causes depression. No one in the family could help her, only the pros and the meds do. When a person has these feelings they don't or can't think of anyone else, their confusion and pain are that great. Know that your friendship was important to her but that you are NOT or ever will be to blame. For anyone out there suffering from depression, please seek help. Don't suffer in silence, therapy and meds can and will make your life worthwhile again. Hugs to you Gina.

[*LabLoverKEB*]

Oh Gina, how awful. My heart goes out to you, and your dear friend's children & family. :( :(

[persianmom]

You are in my prayers

[Lori Jordan]

Oh Gina i am so so sorry,I myself have never been through this up until this past year,It is so hard If you need to talk im here for you.Things will be tough We will all be here to guide you through it Hugs to you!

[Karen]

Gina asked me to post in here, and let folks know she is feeling sick, physically, and could use prayers. She felt bad enough so that her friend did take her to the hospital, she's been feverish and throwing up, and just miserable, so prayers needed, please.

[Queen of Poop]

Prayers for Gina, please feel better quickly.

[todd]

so sorry

[BCollie_Kelly]

Words cannot express how sorry I am. You're in my prayers

[sandragonfly]

I'm back home, been wicked sick. three awful, lousy days. boiling hot, vaporing heat through goosebumps/chills and crawling in my own pukes, no strengths at all. five doctors who saw and checked me throughoutly couldn't find why - at first they thought I was infected with bacterial meningitis because I was third student admitting with exactly same symptoms that day.. but I am not. I had to lave there today with back/chest pains to complete my last final exam this afternoon and it was one hellious presentation...ugh. I think I did at least good. hospital coverages also suck, please know I was able to get your messages through notifications, (((thank you all))).

I try to nott blame myself, I keep on thinking what if I could have done, this and that, etc. I mean, a couple calls a year isn't just enough. she tried to killed herself last time at age 29 and I felt there could be something I could do, to cheer her up, remind her our and many other friendships of hers. I don't believe I'm so blinded and so occupied.

there was a service for her yesterday, very disappointed I couldn't be there. my friend who went there told me this, the oldest child of the deceased mother - who will be 12 next month - stood up and spoke, "I know it's a sad day, but really it's a happy day because my mom's not sick anymore and not in pain anymore. My mom was the best mom she could be and I loved my mom..."

god bless this child. I could see the mother lives on in this child. it was quite a hopeful feeling for everyone. :) :(

[sandragonfly]

nevermind my post. I don't feel like keep truckin'... I seem can't say anthing right. life has been so depressing, unbearable.. I can't take it anymore. :( :( :(

[Reachoutrescue]

nevermind my post. I don't feel like keep truckin'... I seem can't say anthing right. life has been so depressing, unbearable.. I can't take it anymore. :( :( :(
Please keep in mind that things will get better. I know times are very tough right now, but you must go on. You can not change the past or what other people have done, all you can do is control your own actions and life. Please try to feel better and remember we all care about you and wish you well. Chin up...it will be okay. If not now, one day it will.

[dukedogsmom]

Her daughter that spoke sounds like a wonderful girl. I'm glad she's taking it as good as can be expected. There will be hard days ahead for all of you. You must be strong for her family, you know? You can all support each other and later, hopefully remember some happy times with her. I know all this is just words. Unless we experience something like that ourselves, we truly cannot know how you feel. However, we can sympathize with you. It will get better but it will take some time. Just take it one day at a time, ok?