Do you like gift registries?

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I'm not a fan. It seems like it takes all the fun out of buying a gift...like, how fun is it to buy for someone who has a list of demands? I think it takes something out of the process and makes it less fun for everyone...

What do you think?

[Vela]

I think it's good and bad. In some ways its a good idea, so you aren't wasting your money on useless gifts, and on the downside it DOES seem almost greedy. When I get a wedding invitation and it says "registerd at wherever" I get a feeling of "greedy list of demands", even though that may not always be the case. I dunno I guess I'm kind of in a toss up about it. It is helpful, but I also would rather give a gift certificate rather than seeing the actual lists. It really only bothers me I guess when I see a list that has things for hudnreds of dollars on it and expensive items, that I think is unfair of anyone to actuall expect people to buy for them. When I see that it makes me want to not get them anything=x

[Karen]

I like gift registries - one needn't buy something "on the list," but often it can give you an idea of what color schemes, etc., the person is going with, and buy accordingly. I hated filling them out when we got married, but the mothers both insisted we do so. Now, years later, I see just how handy they are!

[Blue_Frog]

I've never been a huge fan of registries either, but i can totally see the need for them for things like weddings and showers. It helps since someone might think something is really nice but might be totally something you wouldn't like or that wouldn't fit into your decor. It also helps so that you dont end up with 3 blenders or something like that as well. But then again, thats what gift receipts are for ;)

I never thought to use the registry for colour ideas tho - thanks Karen! I usually make people stuff (stained glass, quilts, etc.), so that would be totally helpful to match to their living space :)

[jazzcat]

I like them because it make it so much easier for me to get a gift, especially if it is for someone I don't know well.

On the other hand it has made me think differently about some people when I see how extensive their registry is. I remember buying a baby gift for my parents' neighbor and just about falling over when I saw the dozens of pages of items. This was for a baby on the way and she had clothing listed for ages newborn up till the baby would be 4-5 years old plus just about every toy in the store. I've never seen anyone have clothes that wouldn't be needed for years on a gift registry. Is that common?

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I like registries, but hate showers. I have a baby registry/wish list on amazon. I have spent hours upon hours looking at baby products and reading reviews. I also considered prices in the products I listed. I put things on the list that I need and will buy if I don't receive them as gifts. I don't expect gifts from my family and friends, but the registry is there to help them if they choose to give a gift.

I completely hate the whole idea of a shower (wedding, baby, or other). Even though someone else gives the shower I feel it's a greed party. The way I see it is if someone would like to give my baby a gift they are more than welcome to and every gift will be greatly appreciated. I don't however want a shower where people feel obligated to give a gift.

[popcornbird]

I personally do not like gift registeries. A lot of my friends tried to get me to have one for my wedding, but I refused. While I know it can be helpful in the sense that you'd only get what you need, it just seems so greedy to me, to make a list of things I want. I do know that people who do registeries are not necessarily doing it for greedy purposes, but for necessity, however, its not something I'm a fan of. I just felt like, "If I make a registry, its almost like I'm TELLING people to bring gifts on my wedding." Anyhow, I didn't do a registery, but I was worried about getting too many of the same gifts, and then having problems exchanging them, etc. We resorted to writing, "No boxed gifts please" in our wedding invitation cards. It worked great. We didn't have the trouble of carrying 200 boxes home after the reception. Close friends that wanted to give us a nice, special gift did so by bringing it home to us either the day before the wedding, or a few days after. The rest of the guests either gave us gift cards, jewelry, or cash. It worked great for us. With the gift cards, we were able to buy whatever we needed/wanted. We still have some...that I intend to use during the big holiday sales this season. :D

[Edwina's Secretary]

I don't like registries for the same reasons listed. I feel if I am giving a gift I should know the person well enough to either know what they like or feel comfortable enough to ask.

We asked for "no gifts please" at our wedding. Being "of an age" and combining two households we didn't need anything. And over the years I had tired of the extortion I often felt....your gift must cover the cost of the dinner??? We just wanted people to join us and we wanted to have a party to celebrate.

On the other hand.....I do understand the practicality of them. I just like to give and receive gifts that have some of the giver in them. (And I use them when my husband asks me to get a gift for one of his many, many cousins or the like!) I said I didn't like them....I didn't say I don't use them....

[caseysmom]

I am not offended by gift registries at all, especially for weddings. The cost of weddings is so much I think its nice to be buying something to help the couple start their household. We recently went to a wedding at a really nice place in the heart of San Francisco, it was such a treat and must have cost the parents a fortune and I was glad there were some more expensive gifts to choose from since my girls were invited too.

I got married 25 years ago and they were pretty common then, I remember trying to make sure I only had affordable gifts on my registry though.

[K9soul]

We registered at Target when we were getting married. We had next to nothing mainly put down practical things like a crock pot, skillet, bath towels, dish towels, etc. We put a few small things like picture frames and such if people wanted only to get something small. Then we did not point out we were registered in the invitations. But if they asked, we told them where we were registered.

I think it's like a lot of things, they can be helpful or they can be "abused" and I've heard some stories of people registering for ridiculous things and almost seeming to make demands of it. At this point in my life, I probably wouldn't register. I have never even liked it when I was asked "what do you want for your birthday?" because I don't like to feel like I'm telling someone what they should get for me.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

I don't like those either. But when I got married I had one too :D . Why did I have one then? Well, I was living in a small village then. My dad was something like the "local police", and he and my mom were very much loved :) . When people heard from my dad that his youngest daughter was getting married, lots of them told my dad that they wanted to give something. He almost "begged" me to open a list somewhere. So I did. I got lots of great gifts then; some people even bought a present together! I've never regretted this :D

[Blue_Frog]

And over the years I had tired of the extortion I often felt....your gift must cover the cost of the dinner??? We just wanted people to join us and we wanted to have a party to celebrate.
For weddings, I usually follow this 'rule' too - put money in the card to cover what I think my 'plate' would be there. The last wedding I went to, I actually wrote in the card "This is NOT to be used for Video Games" - my girlfriend really appreciated that, and her hubby (also my friend) got a kick out of it too (they are both close friends I've known since high school). On the other hand, I would never give money for a shower.


I have never even liked it when I was asked "what do you want for your birthday?" because I don't like to feel like I'm telling someone what they should get for me. .
Ooo.. I hate that too, and it drives my family absolutely snakey! I've always gotten myself what i wanted when i needed it, so I'm really hard to shop for. My sister has been the worst the last couple of weeks about what to get me for christmas, and I feel bad because I know she wants to get me something but I don't want her to go into more debt because of me - so I told her to make me some 'coupons' instead for her to make me a free dinner, ferret-sitting, etc. and not worry too much about anything else.

[JenBKR]

We registered at Target when we were getting married. We had next to nothing mainly put down practical things like a crock pot, skillet, bath towels, dish towels, etc. We put a few small things like picture frames and such if people wanted only to get something small. Then we did not point out we were registered in the invitations. But if they asked, we told them where we were registered.

That's basically what we did. There were some items that we wanted, but what we actually wanted was gift cards and money. However, there really is no classy or tactful way to request those IMO. But this way worked out really well.

I think gift registries are fine for showers, weddings, etc...but I knew a family once who registered their kids for Christmas and birthdays. That I didn't like. The kids should learn to be happy with what they get IMO.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I guess I can see how they are practical, but all the same it still feels a bit selfish.

The reason I started thinking about it was because my cousin, who recently remarried, is expecting her first child. She opened a registry for baby things. I guess it bothers me because her new husband is RICH, and they both have very high-paying jobs. They could easily afford all this stuff themselves.

Our side of the family is NOT rich...in fact she is by far the wealthiest in the whole bunch, so why is she opening a registry and putting all this expensive stuff on it? It really rubbed me the wrong way. I was excited about finding a cute outfit, but I'm not now...I certainly can't afford anything she put on her registry except the really cheap stuff, and then I will just look cheap.

[Kfamr]

I have never used a registry, don't think I will either. I don't expect people to tell me what they want. If I'm getting a gift for someone I should know the person well enough to know what they want and how to make it special for that specific person.




I have never even liked it when I was asked "what do you want for your birthday?" because I don't like to feel like I'm telling someone what they should get for me.


Seeing as my birthday is 2 days away I have gotten the question over the last month or so. My only answer has been "A PUPPY!" The people asking to get gifts for me should know me well enough to know what I want, what things I like, etc. It ruins the surprise of the gift if you tell someone specifically what you want, in my opinion. I'm the type of person that any gift is liked by, so there is no reason for anyone to ask me what I want. Just the thought that someone took the time to make, purchase, etc something for me makes me happy. :)

[Vela]

It ruins the surprise of the gift if you tell someone specifically what you want, in my opinion. I'm the type of person that any gift is liked by, so there is no reason for anyone to ask me what I want. Just the thought that someone took the time to make, purchase, etc something for me makes me happy. :)


That's so true! I feel the same way about it. I don't care how much it was, and I never expect gifts, so just the person thinking enough of me to think about it and get me something is great. I am a true beleiver in "it's the thouht that counts". Mu husband bought me a watering can for my plants, because I didn't have one. While most people would think, how stupid is that? I thought wow, that was really nice that he noticed I watered my plants with a glass, and thought about me enough that the convenience of having a watering can for my houseplants would be appreciated. The thoughtfulness someone shows for simple things like that is what matters to me the most.

[finn's mom]

I think they're great. I love Christmas lists, birthday lists, etc (handwritten ideas, not a registry for Christmas and birthdays). I think it's a nice way to let people know what you want and need. It's not like people are obligated to purchase from the lists, though. If I know the couple well enough to get them something really personal or to put something together, I will...but, if I'm not sure, it's nice to have a guide.

[Zippy]

I'm the type of person that any gift is liked by, so there is no reason for anyone to ask me what I want. Just the thought that someone took the time to make, purchase, etc something for me makes me happy. :)

Me too.It is the thought that counts.But anyone who knows me knows what I like the best,ect...When I buy a gift I take great care in picking it out.

[Rachel]

I think they're great. I love Christmas lists, birthday lists, etc (handwritten ideas, not a registry for Christmas and birthdays). I think it's a nice way to let people know what you want and need. It's not like people are obligated to purchase from the lists, though. If I know the couple well enough to get them something really personal or to put something together, I will...but, if I'm not sure, it's nice to have a guide.

IMO, I think the intent is for the convenience of the gifter and as one who has a very difficult time figuring out *what to buy*, I appreciate having that kind of help. All the registries from which I've selected gifts had a variety of price ranges. I don't consider a lengthy registery to be an indication of the recipient being greedy, just that they offering the opportunity for a wide selection from which to choose. That said, I don't doubt there are those whose registries suggest they are entitled to only the best. Fortunately I have not had that experience.

I would love to see my relatives who live at a distance have a *wish list* at Amazon. When you don't have the opportunity to see people in their own homes, it is really a huge challenge to select a gift for them. That is why I generally give cash, which some people think is tacky. :confused: