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View Full Version : HEY! ~ Where's all my Tomatos?? ... {bURRp}



Cinder & Smoke
08-14-2006, 05:16 PM
Ole Fire Buddy Donny brought "The Farm" over in late March ...l
A 5-Gallon dry wall bucket filled with "stuff" and a small Tomato Plant poking it's head
above the plastic covering. "Just WATER it every day; and maybe add another
stake if it grows tall. Pour water IN till it comes out this overflow ...
even a Black-Thumb can't screw it up! Enjoy."

I even remembered to drag The Farm into the warm garage for a late frost. http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/smile.gif
Slow start, but in April it kicked into gear - arms & legs shot off in all directions.
Then it was "flowers" - ALL over ... and then ... lil TOMATOs (I think).

Darn thing was THIRSTY - 1/2 gallon or more a day! I didn't go UP fast enough -
so The Farm spread low to the ground ... two more stakes to hold it all up.

May - and we had a HUNNERT lil green 'Matos hangin all over the place ...
If these all turn RED at once ... OMG. Looks like they're "mini-sized" or
"Cherry" if you prefer.
June - we got a RED ONE! <pluck> <MUNCH>

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/eek.gif Well - it was almost red ... maybe otta hold off The Havest a day or two more.
After another week of pink/green chewey 'Matos - I figured out what RED looked like;
and managed to haul more upstairs than I ate Down On The Farm.
I've had a salad every night for weeks!

Thursday I stopped by The Farm for the daily haul ... grabbed 8 or 10 nice ones
and made plans for an even bigger haul on Friday.

Pharmer Phred went out Friday, harvest baggie in hand ...
Hmmmmm ... thought there were gonna be MORE ready that this ...
Woudda SWORN there were more yesterday ...
Noticed there weren't too many "pink" ones ... gonna be a day or two with no 'Matos.
NUTZ!

Saturday I didn't do any Harvesting, just Watered ... I'll grab a bunch on Sunday.

Sunday DinDin Tyme --- lemmie run Down to The Farm for a fresh salad ...

WHAT THE #*%$#* - WHERE's the darn Tomatos!???
Not a RED one in sight - not even a PINK one ...
WHO's STEALIN Tomatos offa my Farm????

I "stewed" about the Missin 'Matos all night ... almost called Pat (uppa street) -
but thought 2 AM might be a tad late to question who or what was swipin 'Matos.

Crack-a-Dawn (well, 10:30 at the latest) - Phred Pharmer is checkin da Farm -
DEFINATELY I'm missin 'Matos!! - Dang - even the lil Baby GREEN Ones are gone! http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/mad.gif
I'z been ROBBED!! - There's DOZENS of lil Green Babies just VANISHED ---
not to mention the couple dozen Reds & Pinks that were "almost ready".
Wonder if the Sheriff will come out ... is this a 9-1-1 'Mergency?

Look again ... musta "fallen off" da Bush ...
NOT a TRACE ... fifty foot sweep of The Farm and not a single one to be found.
Is it too late to put up Barbed Wire?

-------------------------------------
<RUMMMMBLE>

OMG! Wuz dat THUNDER, Cinder?

NO, SmokeMutt - my TUMMIE. Gonna be DinDin Tyme affore we get Brunch!

What's Dad DOIN - lookin out the Big Winnow?

He's *watchin* fur da "Mato Theif" to raid da Farm.
C'mone Guys - line up an <STARE> - maybe we'll get sum grub.

After Brunch ...
<buRRp>
<belch>
<BUrrp>

OK Bowz - take a hike inna livin room like ya need ta *pee* ... It's tyme fur an Outie.

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/tongue.gif Works ebery tyme! - Shudda had him YEARS ago!

------------------------------

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/eek.gif OUT, ya lil $#!!
Pee inna Howze an youu'll be onna Greyhound fur New Messico! OUT!

Bowz <leaped> off the porch and headed west - staying close to the bushes
and thereby *hidden* from view ...
Oh well; hopefully he'll stay semi-close.

*Observed from the Big Window* >>>

Cinder & Smokey did a few Fast Laps around the Ranch, then went off to
"Powder their Noses"; returning to back-slide down the front slope towards the driveway.
SmokeMutt sprinted back towards the porch to meet Bowz;

Cinder ...

--------------------------------

<saunters> scross the drive towards the (closed) Bus Garage Doors ...

Tum-Ditty-Yum, Bippity-Bob, Tritt-Trott ...

Why, Lookie Here - Pharmer Dad's Pharm an Walk-Up Salad Bar ...

<Glances Left> - Clear!
<Glances Right> - Clear!

Moves in - noze inna 'Mato Bush ... <grazing> ...
WOW! Not much of a selection left onna Pharm these daze ...
<pokes around> wiff Paw ...

Not a Red Wun in site! - Gonna hafta settle fu anudder Green/Chewey wun.

This wun will do ...
<grasp>
<shake>
<PLUCK>
<munch> <munch> <munch>

and from the Window DIRECTLY Above the Pharm ...

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/eek.gif

SON uva #!!&%#!!

BADDDDDD DAWG! ~~~ GET OUTTTTA the GARDEN!!!!

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/mad.gif

----------------------------------

**OOpsie**

Dat soundz like da Pharmer got his Bibz inna *twitch*!

Hey SmokeMutt - help me *lick* da Tomato Juze offa my face ...
maybe he won't *notice*.

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/tongue.gif

Dorothy39
08-14-2006, 05:32 PM
Okay Phred,em a goin ta print tha wun!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

The_Duck
08-14-2006, 05:37 PM
*gasping for air, tears streaming down face, as she picks herself up off the floor* That was hilarious! Great story, Phred. Bad dog, Cinder! :p

Dorothy39
08-14-2006, 05:41 PM
Yezzz, dem dugs es da bess uns ;) on Peah Tuk!!!

Matos es gud!!! Juze es guddur!!! :D :D

Corinna
08-14-2006, 06:10 PM
DUrn doesn't farmer phred know about tomato cages ? maybe chicken wire to keep the dawgs out. I laughed so hard at the is glad to see another farm adventure.

zippy-kat
08-14-2006, 06:43 PM
Don't I recall a certain someone laughing at my tomato picking/eating dog awhile back? And didn't someone ask for PICTURES to accompany the tale? Paybacks, buddy, paybacks! :p

slick
08-14-2006, 07:03 PM
:D :D :D OMD Pharmer Phred....I'm laughing so hard.....it's the visual. :D :D :D Thanks Phred, although I'm sure it's no laughing matter to you.

Cinder & Smoke
08-14-2006, 07:22 PM
Don't I recall a certain someone laughing at my tomato picking/eating dog awhile back?

And didn't someone ask for PICTURES to accompany the tale?

Paybacks, buddy, paybacks! http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/tongue.gif

But, but, but ...

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/rolleyes.gif

They don't LIKE Tomatos ...
at least not when I drop a piece in the kitchen ...

Apple, cucumber, carrot, sometimes lettuce ... "We'll get it, Dad!" <slurrp>

Drop a hunka TOMATO and "Yucck!! It's gooey an got SEEDS! YOU get it, Dad!"

-------------------

<Mumble> <Grumble> ...

<Picks up Hat> <Adds Salt> ... <Starts *Eating* Hat>

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/rolleyes.gif

shais_mom
08-14-2006, 07:58 PM
Don't I recall a certain someone laughing at my tomato picking/eating dog awhile back? And didn't someone ask for PICTURES to accompany the tale? Paybacks, buddy, paybacks! :p
as soon as I saw the title that is exactly what I thought!!
sounds like Maggie has been chatting over the miles to her cousin Bowser in OHIO! :)
Keegan won't pick up tomatoes on the floor either but haven't really noticed her even sniffing my many plants.
interesting.
those are the stories I know and love and MISS!

momoffuzzyfaces
08-14-2006, 08:02 PM
:D LOL!!!

Is tomato napping a crime in your neighborhood?

Be glad that Cinder didn't get an upset tummy or you would have seen your tomatoes again; one way or the other!!! :eek: :D

Cincy'sMom
08-14-2006, 08:13 PM
So great to read a classic Phred story!!! Please excuse us if we get a we laughs at your misfortune!!


'Round here, Cincy is the champion berry picker...she loves to eat the raspberry's off grandma's bush. Amazingly, she only picks the ripe ones!!

Karen
08-14-2006, 08:20 PM
Hee hee hee hee!

So much for blaming some ol' woodchuck ...


Hee hee, Zippykat, I thought of you immediately. Hope the hat's yummy, Phred!


So great to read a classic Phred story!!! Please excuse us if we get a we laughs at your misfortune!!


'Round here, Cincy is the champion berry picker...she loves to eat the raspberry's off grandma's bush. Amazingly, she only picks the ripe ones!!

That's 'cause the one's that aren't ripe just don't come off the cane! Hope Grandma washes all that she picks just in case Cincy has "test-tugged" 'em before they'd come off!!!

Daisy and Delilah
08-14-2006, 08:26 PM
ROTF!!!! Great story Phred!! Who hasn't missed your prize winning tales? This is one of the best you've ever written. Thanks to you and your crew for making us laugh our butts off tonight!! :) :D :)

cyber-sibes
08-14-2006, 08:35 PM
:D so that's what the smokemuts have been up to this summer! LOL! great story, hugs to you & all your crew, including that little 'mato thief! ;)

RICHARD
08-14-2006, 11:44 PM
Reuters-Ohio- August 14

A mysterious outbreak has a put a small Ohio town on the map.
Tomato plants have been springing up all over this small community in numbers never seen before.

Town officials are puzzled at the sudden proliferation of the plants.

"We have pinpointed the area where we believe the plants are coming from." a county official said.

"It seems like we have a regular Johnny TomatoSeed here in town"

After sending off samples of the plant to a state office it was reported that the tomato plants have traces of dog chow in the leaves.

Officials were tightlipped about the rumor and have declined to comment.


------------------------------------------------

Phred.

When the next [email protected], ah, crop comes out, remember your nasty neighbors. :confused: :eek: ;)

Cinder & Smoke
08-15-2006, 12:53 AM
Be glad that Cinder didn't get an upset tummy or
you would have seen your tomatoes again http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/eek.gif http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/biggrin.gif

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/eek.gif

So, I should be Thankfull the Dumm Dawg didn't get sick piggin on MY Tomatos?
That's hard to *swallow*!
http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/tongue.gif

--------------------




Tomato plants have been springing up all over this small community ...

"It seems like we have a regular Johnny TomatoSeed here in town"

... it was reported that the tomato plants have traces of dog chow in the leaves.

:D :D

Phred's Pharm announces expansion ~ new "SEEDER" being tested.
Results are "scattered".

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/rolleyes.gif

shais_mom
08-15-2006, 02:08 AM
http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/eek.gif

So, I should be Thankfull the Dumm Dawg didn't get sick piggin on MY Tomatos?
That's hard to *swallow*!
http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/tongue.gif

--------------------



:D :D

Phred's Pharm announces expansion ~ new "SEEDER" being tested.
Results are "scattered".

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/rolleyes.gif

then he'd have known who the culprit was! :p

Cataholic
08-15-2006, 09:28 AM
WHAT????? Cinder likes tomatoes? LOLOL. I have never heard of such a thing. That is just soo funny. Poor farmer Phred. Who can you trust anymore, if you can't trust the dog mutts? LOL. Want me to send a few up to you? (tomatoes, not dogs).

pitc9
08-15-2006, 10:03 AM
:D so that's what the smokemuts have been up to this summer! ;)

LOL!!! My thoughs EXACTLY!!!

Oh Phred..... that was just what I needed! On heck of a good laugh! :D

lbaker
08-15-2006, 10:57 AM
Dogs are eating tomatos, the deer that come into my yard are eating my lilies and the bunnies are eating begonias :eek: No one wants my beans or peas??? Must be global warming. There was a fox in my yard last night and the dogs just stared at it :rolleyes: What is the world coming to :confused:

Logan
08-15-2006, 11:32 AM
LOL!!!!! :D

Hey Cinder, Lilly will be impressed to hear how you have been sneaking the tomatoes!! She is an expert at sneaking into the garden and grabbing a few ripe ones off the vine, too. Only problem is that they are my neighbor's tomatoes, not mine!!!!! :eek:

Edwina's Secretary
08-15-2006, 12:10 PM
Gosh Phred....I could have sent Ace Garden Detective (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=12097&highlight=detective) Edwina to help you. However, as I HATE tomatoes.... she has never seen one on the vine... :eek: :D

Barbara
08-15-2006, 02:02 PM
Filou eats mangos- so why shouldn't Cinder eat tomatoes?

When Siegmar was a boy (about 100 years ago) he had a dog called Netta, a collie mix- and she ate gooseberries. He tells she was always trying carefully- and when she could get them easy she knew they were ripe and sweet :)

Cinder & Smoke
08-15-2006, 03:38 PM
SmokeMutt's Morning ...

<Rinnnnnnng> went the tele-dinger

Gud GRIEF - who'z callin Dad this early?

Well, we'z UP now ... How bout an Outie, Dad?
<zip> <zoom> <LEAP> and we're off to see da sites.

We all went to out favorite spotz; an I wuz headed back to da porch
ta meet up wiff Cinners & Bowz ...

When da ole Hunger Pang hit me inna tummie ~ >>PANG<< ~
OMG!

Well, gotta do sumpin bout dat - WAY too early to think we're gonna see Brunch ...
whut ta do ... whut ta do??

Why sure - I'll drop Down onna Pharm (Jerks hard left towards Closed Bus Garage Doors)

<Trippity-Trott> <Bippity-Bop> <Skippity-Skip> ...
And I don't see Pharmer Dad NOwhere ... http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/biggrin.gif

<approaches Tomato Pharm> ... <sniff>
Whttp://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/eek.gifW!

Where's allua 'Materz?? (Wunder iffin da Bowz discovered da Pharm?)
SUMMbuddie sure grabbed a LOTTA 'Materz the last few daze!

Pickins are sure slim ... NUFFIN down here low ...
Now there's a nice wun - WAAAAY up on top --- gonna be a
- -*S*T*R*E*T*C*H*- - to get dat wun ...


SMOKEY!! ~ ~ ~ Get OUTTA the GARDEN!!!

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/eek.gif

<dinner plate eyes>
<tucks tail>
<scamper> <Scamper> <SCAMPER>

Back on the porch ...
<pant> <pant> <pant> ...

Cinder: Whut happened, Smokey? Looks like ya saw a Ghost!
Bowz: I thunk I heard a Clap a THUNDER a minnit ago ...

Smoke: GOD *hollered* at me!! http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/frown.gif

http://petoftheday.com/i/our_smilies/wink.gif

momoffuzzyfaces
08-15-2006, 04:39 PM
LOL! Well, Smokey, you and Cinder talk to God so much for us, He feels free to talk back sometimes!!! ;) :D

lizbud
08-15-2006, 05:00 PM
WHAT????? Cinder likes tomatoes? LOLOL. I have never heard of such a thing. That is just soo funny. Poor farmer Phred. Who can you trust anymore, if you can't trust the dog mutts? LOL. Want me to send a few up to you? (tomatoes, not dogs).


That is strange. Never met a dog who liked tomatoes. Smokey likes honey
dew melons & I though that was unusual. :) Sorry bout your maters Phred.

Corinna
08-15-2006, 05:16 PM
We had a yellow lab that loved green gauge plums she'd jump up to pick them all the time . But plums do the same for dogs as prunes for people. As the dog picker upper I really hated harvest time.

gini
08-16-2006, 12:56 AM
You know Phred, that guy is just trying to tell you that if you would fix him a plate of spaghetti with sauce once in a while - he would leave your tomatos alone! (right!!)

Great story - a Phred Phable for shure!

Rachel
08-16-2006, 08:55 AM
Oh, no, the *Good* boy got yelled at. Dad, aka Pharmer Phred, needs to understand that healthy eating is good for ebberbuddie in the whole fam damily. Right Cin & Smoke? But you all do need to remember to make sure some get saved for Pops.

The_Duck
08-16-2006, 10:28 AM
After catching this story, I went and searched out some more Phred tales. And you know... there she be a book. I'd buy it if you threw it together, Phred. The way you tell 'em makes me feel like I'm there and they' are always sooooooooooo funny.

Dorothy39
08-16-2006, 11:58 AM
I certainly agree, but, I think Phred is a "HE" ;)

I especially LOVE reading Phred's prayers!!!!!

The_Duck
08-16-2006, 12:15 PM
Meep. :o I meant to say 'there should be a book'. :o Of coarse Phred is a he. Heh...heh. I"ma go crawl in a hole now. :p

Dorothy39
08-16-2006, 12:38 PM
I HAVE to admit, that if Phred ever wrote a book, I would be in line to buy it, and , reguest his signature on the inside cover. ;) How about it Phred!!! :rolleyes:

However, I know WHY!!! :D

I truly enjoy the Poetry of "James Whitcomb Riley"

I know many of them by heart!!!

Type his name into Google and you can feast on pure Hoosier Dialect!!! ;)


Still waiting for Phreds' book ~~~~to place beside the" Riley "books in my library!!! ;)

luvofallhorses
08-16-2006, 01:19 PM
hehe thanks for the laugh, Phred! :D

Cinder & Smoke
09-20-2008, 05:33 PM
That is strange.
Never met a dog who liked tomatoes.

:confused:

It was an "acquired taste" ... cultivated by copy-cat-itis.
Cinder has alway been the 'adventurous one' and will try most anything
that will fit in her mouth. It might take a trial or two, with a couple of
spit-backs before she actually swallows something new ... but I'm hard
pressed to think of ANYthing that she won't eat and swallow.
She'll *sit* - *beg* - *shake for* - and *swallow*:
* Any red meat
* Chicken, Turkey
* All lunch meats
* Cheese
* Veggies: Broccoli, Beans, Corn, Lettuce, CARROTS, Celery, CUCUMBERS
* Pickles (with horrible facial expressions), Olives, Eggs
* Bananas, Apples, Oranges (more faces)
* Pizza crusts and slices (any topping), Spaghetti Sauce, and >>>
* TOMATOS! :)

SmokeMutt was a little *cautious* on some of these, and he STILL won't
even put a piece of celery in his mouth, but peer pressure from Cinder has
put all the rest of the above on his menu.

Heidi is a major disappointment: she rejected her first Cucumber Skin. :(
I fear she only appreciates Dawg Food & Treats.
======================================

I can't believe we didn't have any Mater Pharm Tails from 2007 ---
It was a GOOD Year!
Donny delivered our Mater Pharm inna Buckit *WITH* a roll of Security
Fencing to reduce poaching. The Mater TREE musta been afraid of dawgs,
'cuz it kept all it's many arms & legs INside the fence ... we lost more
maters to "tomato blight" or a lack of calcium late in the season than we
did to the PoacherMutts.

=========================================

2008 is turning out to be another Bountiful Mater Pharm Year!

We've only had a few poachings - account of the dumm Mater Tree
turned out to be a Mater BUSH and grew low to the ground - and draped
a LOT of it's arms & legs over and through the Security Fence.
Harvests have been good, and crop loss due to black-bottomed maters
has been avoided by Donny putting in extra calcium in the Magic Potions
(aka dirt) that fills the Pharm (bucket).

I'm almost out up in the kitchen --- tyme for a Harvest Trip down onna
Pharm later tonight. LOTTA nice RED ones popped out yesterday.

/s/ Pharmer Phred

Karen
09-20-2008, 06:32 PM
Hee hee - just can't train them 'mater plants lessen ya spend all yer time rewrapping vines every day. Which three canine assistants around, I guess training the 'mater bush was oughta the question this year!

I'm always kinda jealous - my yard is far too shady for tomatoes.

Catty1
09-20-2008, 09:33 PM
Just HAD to look up James Whitcomb Riley - loved this prank he pulled when he was aching for notice and fame...maybe it backfired somewhat, but judging by the last line of this quote, he would have taken some satisfaction from this, I am sure.

http://www.indiana.edu/~liblilly/riley/exhibit.htm

Despite Longfellow's gentle support, rejection notices continued to plague Riley. Among friends he complained that all one needed to be published was an established reputation, that the merit of the poem counted for nothing. To prove his point, Riley wrote to John Henderson, editor of the Kokomo Dispatch, and requested Henderson's aid in perpetrating a literary hoax. A heretofore unknown poem by a well known writer was to be revealed. The gambit appealed to Henderson, who wrote to Riley stating that he was with him "boots and soul." A rapid exchange of letters between the two conspirators ensued. Riley supplied the poem, "Leonainie," written in the style of Edgar Alan Poe, and Henderson fabricated the circumstances of its discovery. "Leonainie" appeared in the August 3, 1877 issue of the Dispatch. Riley and Henderson sat back and waited.

The critics were not long in responding, verifying the authenticity of Poe's work and Riley's contention about publishing. William F. Gill, Poe's biographer, wrote to Henderson requesting to see the manuscript. Here was an unanticipated rub, but Samuel Richards, an artist and friend of Riley's, took a copy of Ainsworth's Dictionary and with watered down ink to simulate fading, copied "Leonainie" onto the fly leaf in Poe's hand. The prank was well established and Riley was inspired to write to Henderson "WHOOP!" But, as is often the case when too many individuals are privy to a secret, the deception began to unravel. On August 20, 1877 William Croan wrote to Riley warning him of the impending exposure. Riley was forced to admit his duplicity and endure a tidalwave of criticism from an incensed public. The hoax had backfired and brought Riley notoriety instead of admiration. He was fired from his position at the Anderson Democrat. Even after his confession a handful of critics upbraided the poet for claiming to be the author of a poem so obviously written by E. A. Poe.

Dorothy39 (wherever you is), I see whut ya mean!

http://www.poetry-archive.com/r/our_hired_girl.html

OUR HIRED GIRL

by: James Whitcomb Riley (1849-1916)

Our hired girl, she's 'Lizabuth Ann;
An' she can cook best things to eat!
She ist puts dough in our pie-pan,
An' pours in somepin' 'at's good an' sweet;
An' nen she salts it all on top
With cinnamon; an' nen she'll stop
An' stoop an' slide it, ist as slow,
In th' old cook-stove, so's 'twon't slop
An' git all spilled; nen bakes it, so
It's custard-pie, first thing you know!
An' nen she'll say,
"Clear out o' my way!
They's time fer work, an' time fer play!
Take yer dough, an' run, child, run!
Er I cain't git no cookin' done!"

When our hired girl 'tends like she's mad,
An' says folks got to walk the chalk
When she's around, er wisht they had!
I play out on our porch an' talk
To Th' Raggedy Man 'at mows our lawn;
An' he says, "Whew!" an' nen leans on
His old crook-scythe, and blinks his eyes,
An' sniffs all 'round an' says, "I swawn!
Ef my old nose don't tell me lies,
It 'pears like I smell custard-pies!"
An' nen he'll say,
"Clear out o' my way!
They's time fer work, an' time fer play!
Take yer dough, an' run, child, run!
Er she cain't git no cookin' done!"

Wunst our hired girl, when she
Got the supper, an' we all et,
An' it wuz night, an' Ma an' me
An' Pa went wher' the "Social" met,--
An' nen when we come home, an' see
A light in the kitchen door, an' we
Heerd a maccordeun, Pa says, "Lan'--
O'-Gracious! who can her beau be?"
An' I marched in, an' 'Lizabuth Ann
Wuz parchin' corn fer The Raggedy Man!
Better say,
"Clear out o' the way!
They's time fer work, an' time fer play!
Take the hint, an' run, child, run!
Er we cain't git no courtin' done!"

"Our Hired Girl" is reprinted from Complete Works. James Whitcomb Riley. Indianapolis: Bobbs-Merrill, 1916.

shais_mom
09-20-2008, 10:24 PM
Just HAD to look up James Whitcomb Riley - loved this prank he pulled when he was aching for notice and fame...maybe it backfired somewhat, but judging by the last line of this quote, he would have taken some satisfaction from this, I am sure.

http://www.indiana.edu/~liblilly/riley/exhibit.htm


Dorothy39 (wherever you is), I see whut ya mean!

http://www.poetry-archive.com/r/our_hired_girl.html

OUR HIRED GIRL

by: James Whitcomb Riley (1849-1916)

Our hired girl, she's 'Lizabuth Ann;
An' she can cook best things to eat!
She ist puts dough in our pie-pan,
An' pours in somepin' 'at's good an' sweet;
An' nen she salts it all on top
With cinnamon; an' nen she'll stop
An' stoop an' slide it, ist as slow,
In th' old cook-stove, so's 'twon't slop
An' git all spilled; nen bakes it, so
It's custard-pie, first thing you know!
An' nen she'll say,
"Clear out o' my way!
They's time fer work, an' time fer play!
Take yer dough, an' run, child, run!
Er I cain't git no cookin' done!"

When our hired girl 'tends like she's mad,
An' says folks got to walk the chalk
When she's around, er wisht they had!
I play out on our porch an' talk
To Th' Raggedy Man 'at mows our lawn;
An' he says, "Whew!" an' nen leans on
His old crook-scythe, and blinks his eyes,
An' sniffs all 'round an' says, "I swawn!
Ef my old nose don't tell me lies,
It 'pears like I smell custard-pies!"
An' nen he'll say,
"Clear out o' my way!
They's time fer work, an' time fer play!
Take yer dough, an' run, child, run!
Er she cain't git no cookin' done!"

Wunst our hired girl, when she
Got the supper, an' we all et,
An' it wuz night, an' Ma an' me
An' Pa went wher' the "Social" met,--
An' nen when we come home, an' see
A light in the kitchen door, an' we
Heerd a maccordeun, Pa says, "Lan'--
O'-Gracious! who can her beau be?"
An' I marched in, an' 'Lizabuth Ann
Wuz parchin' corn fer The Raggedy Man!
Better say,
"Clear out o' the way!
They's time fer work, an' time fer play!
Take the hint, an' run, child, run!
Er we cain't git no courtin' done!"

"Our Hired Girl" is reprinted from Complete Works. James Whitcomb Riley. Indianapolis: Bobbs-Merrill, 1916.


the redneck sez "HUH"?????????
:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: :confused:

jenn_librarian
09-20-2008, 11:44 PM
the redneck sez "HUH"?????????
:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: :confused:


LOL! I don't get it either.


I planted a few "patio" tomato bushes this year, thought it would be easy since I grew up on a farm. :rolleyes:

I couldn't figure out why I was getting tomatoes with black on the bottom. Reading your post, Phred, now I see it was calcium deficiency. Hrm. How do you get more calcium into the plant?? Maybe it was the potting soil I used to plant them in??

My peppers grew well, too big for the pots. They sucked up water like crazy!! I think I've been watering them 2xs a day. Dad said it was cause I'm using potting soil, and it's not "good stuff" like up on the farm.

Cinder & Smoke
09-21-2008, 12:07 AM
LOL! I don't get it either.
------------------------

I planted a few "patio" tomato bushes this year,
thought it would be easy since I grew up on a farm. :rolleyes:

I was getting tomatoes with black on the bottom.
Reading your post, Phred, now I see it was calcium deficiency.
Hrm. How do you get more calcium into the plant??
Maybe it was the potting soil I used to plant them in??

Dad said it was cause I'm using potting soil,
and it's not "good stuff" like up on the farm.

Here's one of a thousand web pages on "Blossom End Rot".
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/3000/3117.html

The other 999 pages all give Home Remedies to fix it.
And there's dozens of "commercial (high-priced) remedies" available.
Donny (my Mater Pharm inna Buckit constructor), suggested adding TUMS
(the antacid) 'cause he read it somewhere.
Consistant and steady watering is very important ... I let last year's Mater
Tree get too dry a few days - that disturbs the calcium flow in the plant.

This year the Buckit got pre-loaded with extra LIME to increase the
calcium reserve available to the fruit.
SO FAR - NO "black bottomed 'Maters"!

/s/ Pharmer Phred

shais_mom
09-21-2008, 12:19 AM
Here's one of a thousand web pages on "Blossom End Rot".
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/3000/3117.html

The other 999 pages all give Home Remedies to fix it.
And there's dozens of "commercial (high-priced) remedies" available.
Donny (my Mater Pharm inna Buckit constructor), suggested adding TUMS
(the antacid) 'cause he read it somewhere.
Consistant and steady watering is very important ... I let last year's Mater
Tree get too dry a few days - that disturbs the calcium flow in the plant.

This year the Buckit got pre-loaded with extra LIME to increase the
calcium reserve available to the fruit.
SO FAR - NO "black bottomed 'Maters"!

/s/ Pharmer Phred

or you can just use the calcium supplement you take.
Dissolve a couple in a bucket and pour over your plants. :cool:

Catty1
09-21-2008, 12:27 AM
(I think Dorothy39 posted that poet's name (Riley) because how he writes some of his stuff and how Phred often writes are similar...except Riley seemed to have needed his writing to rhyme. Kinda interferes with the natural flow).

Cinder & Smoke
09-21-2008, 12:30 AM
or you can just use the calcium supplement you take.
Dissolve a couple in a bucket and pour over your plants. :cool:

:confused:

You say that like you think I know which one is "THE Calcium Supplement"
that I take. DUHHHH ... What's it called other than "Calcium Supplement"?

:p

shais_mom
09-21-2008, 08:57 AM
:confused:

You say that like you think I know which one is "THE Calcium Supplement"
that I take. DUHHHH ... What's it called other than "Calcium Supplement"?

:p

Os Cal
Citracal
or low and behold the hardest name to remember
oh Gosh you can buy a huge jar of it from Walmart
Lemme Think.
.
.
.
.
.
oh Yea.
CALCIUM with Vit D.:cool::cool::eek::eek::D:D
never fails!

Sevaede
09-21-2008, 01:18 PM
hehehe! :D Reminds me of RB Soni. :D He used to eat lettuce and peas and such! He would even eat bread as long as it had some sort of sauce or jelly or spread on it.

shais_mom
09-23-2008, 12:26 PM
the redneck sez "HUH"?????????
:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: :confused:


LOL! I don't get it either.




I was so confused that I thought maybe She'd c/p to the wrong thread b/c it had nothing to do with tomatoes. lol
And I wasn't the only one that thought that. :eek:
but now it makes a wee bit more sense.

jenn_librarian
09-23-2008, 01:58 PM
I can't win with my tomato plants. Either all the leaves started turning brown at the bottom, or the flowers fell off before I got a fruit on it, or they got black on the bottom. I watered every day, or didn't water every day, or just said the heck with it and bought them at the store or got them from mom and dad, lol. I don't have the patience to figure out why they are doing what they are doing. Same with the pepper plants. I can't seem to keep them watered enough either.

cassiesmom
01-07-2011, 06:53 PM
So I was waiting in the cafeteria line at work for lunch today... they serve a yummy egg salad on delicious multi-grain bread. The lunch lady asked if I wanted lettuce or tomato with that and for some reason I thought of Pharmer Phred's 'mato thieves and the related thread about Freedom's Bichon, Willy who is also a tomato lover! Phred must have known I was having a goofy day and decided to cheer me up. Thanks, Phred!

Here's Willy's story
http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=162890&highlight=dog+tomato

AdoreMyDogs
01-07-2011, 08:12 PM
Oh Phred, you sure were wonderful to know. We will never see any new posts from you, but what timeless joy your old ones are for us :love: :love:

moosmom
01-08-2011, 06:24 AM
So true, AMD!!!