Inlaws mean dog

[larbabe]

Hello:

I'm new to this forum and I really need some advice. My in-laws moved in with us last year. I love them dearly, but they have a rather mean-spirited dog. He is a Bijon, approximately 10 years old. He is rather large for the breed, and very much overweight (He has no shut-off valve – one time he got into a bag of dog food and literally ate his way to the bottom) , and spoiled rotten. He steals food at every opportunity, and has a very loud obnoxious bark which drives me up the wall. However, the main problem is that he growls and snaps at you sometimes when you try to move him. Now mind you, none of us have ever been mean or mistreated him.

Last evening was perhaps the last straw for me. He got under the foot rest of our recliner. My nephew who is visiting, lowered the foot rest, not knowing the dog was under it, and hit the dog on the head, and he yelped. This is not the first time this has happened. Once again, the dog refused to budge, when I prompted him (At first it was, gentle, then when he still did not move, I was more firm, but I did not yell at him). And once again, as I approached him, he began to growl. I reached under the foot rest to try to physically move him, when he bit me.

I have tried to interest my other family members in some sort of behavior training, I've even given them tips by the famous Dog Whisperer, but they have taken very little interest in actively modifying his behavior.

After I was bitten last evening, I told my in-laws that this was intolerable. At first, they made excuses for the dog, but then asked me what I wanted to do. I was too angry to respond, and my finger was swollen, so I decided to wait until today to deal with it. After much consideration, I've come up with some alternatives: 1) Place a muzzle on the dog when he is in our presence, 2) cage him, 3) Keep him in another location. Does anyone here have any further suggestions?


In advance, thanks so much for your help!

[lv4dogs]

Welcome to PT!
If they are not willing to seek behavioral help or even listen to suggestions I would say that the choices you listed are about the only choices you have.

Good luck and hope your hand heals fine.

[larbabe]

We have two other dogs. The first is a very mild-mannered American Jindo named Missy who normally would not hurt a fly. We recently were given an 8 month-old Yorkshire terrier puppy, and Missy has taken to the puppy like it is her baby. On several occasions, the puppy has irritated my in-laws' dog who, in turn, snapped at the puppy. Since then Missy has been snapping at the bijon. This was the first excuse my in-laws used for his behavior. I told them that this behavior has been on-going long before Missy started snapping at him, and that the dynamics between the animals has no bearing on this dog's behavior toward humans. Regardless, thanks for your input!

[Suki Wingy]

I'm sorry that this is happening. I know that Bichon Frise are never supposed to show any kind of agression. Perhaps something else could be bothering him? Could it be physical? Also I know that there might be some little behaviour thing of yours or of another family member that could be causing him to do this. It is very hard to tell without seeing it. Is there any way you could upload a video so we can see? Sometimes it is the littlelest thing that is setting the dog off.

[larbabe]

I removed the Frise. I think he is a Bijon Bijay (spelling?). I agree that this is not the normal behavior of the breed. My inlaws had another Bijon who recently passed away, and which was a wonderful dog. I don't have a video of him, but I believe I've listed the circumstances and behavior appropriately. The dog was given to my inlaws approximately five years ago by their son. Although I have no evidence of this, it is possible that the dog might have been mistreated by his ex-wife. My inlaws are elderly and I know for a fact they have not mistreated the dog (nor have my wife or I), but they also have not been firm or consistent with him either. Believe me, the dog has always been in charge. It has growled and snapped at them when they have also tried to move him, but they have not attempted to deal with the behavior. I believe the biting could have happened to any one of us; I just happened to be the first.

[Suki Wingy]

Oh I know you're not mistreating him but I just meant little things you don't even notice you are doing. I'm not sure I know the breed, what does he look like? I'm sorry I can't help you, I don't know much about dog behaviour, only what I learned from my own dog.

[larbabe]

But I don't know quite how to post it here. I can try to email it directly to you.

[shihtzulover850]

is there any way you could ask them if you could take him to an obedience class or have they already said no? if you don't feel comfortable handling him I understand. :)

[larbabe]

They are very defensive about the dog. In addition, I am not around him nearly as much as the other members of the family. I work full time and the drive to work is one hour each way, which leaves mostly weekends. As I understand it, dog obedience does not work unless all family members are consistent in the behavior corrections. The final factor is, you are right, I do not care for the dog, especially after last evening.

[shihtzulover850]

hm i suppose you really don't have much else other than what you mentioned then sorry I cannot be of better help.

[larbabe]

I guess I didn't express how serious this is. Other than my finger swelling up, my major concern is what will happen when my grandchildren come to visit, and one of them happens to approach this dog in one of his unapproachable positions? Believe me, the dog is spoiled rotten, and as far as I can see, no one has really bothered to deal sternly with his behavior.

[Giselle]

It is called a Bichon Frise :p:
http://www.ardynas.com/Pics/JulieBichon.jpg

What kind of training has this dog received, if any at all?

Can you give us an idea of his kennel situation? When he receives his dinner, is he asked to perform any tasks first?

What kind of exercise does he receive, if any at all?

You know, negligence is a form of abuse and while your in-laws mean well, it sounds like they're indirectly abusing the poor Bichon. All dogs are born with the potential to be well-mannered family dogs, but it is up to the humans to shape them into such canines. If your in-laws can't manage this simple task of training their dog efficiently, report the bite and get the animal control involved. My heart goes out to you AND the bichon because it sounds like neither sides are happy right now, and I would HATE to see the bichon living a life where he is not wanted or loved by all of the family. Bichons are incredibly happy, gregarious dogs who *adore* their family.

Happy, trained dogs do not bite, and it sounds like your in-law's bichon is in desperate need of NILIF, obedience training, and some *positive* attention.

Muzzling him, caging him, and confining him will only make matters worse as he gains not only space aggression, but resource aggression as well.

Lastly, never physically force a dog to move him/herself. This is the best way to get yourself bitten. I know you had no choice, but a dog has two choices: fight or flight. When you take away one option (flight), he will fight. A trapped dog is an agitated dog who's ready and willing to bite. Instead of physical force, let him calm down and entice him out with a yummy treat and lots of praise. If you call him out to punish him, he will not come out again.

Tell your in-laws that these are their two options:
1) Get the dog obedience and NILIF (Nothing In Life Is Free: http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm) trained (offer to help them) OR
2) You report the bite and get the animal control involved and make it clear that you do not want a dog capable of dangerous biting living with your family and young children.

[Karen]

Tell them he needs to be on a leash at all times if they are not willing to retrain him. This will not only help in moving him when you need to, but that way, if your grandchildren are visting, or other visitors are there, one of them can keep the dog near them and controlled via the leash the whole time so these incidents do not a=occur.

[larbabe]

It is called a Bichon Frise :p:
http://www.ardynas.com/Pics/JulieBichon.jpg

[QUOTE] What kind of training has this dog received, if any at all?
None that I'm aware of.


Can you give us an idea of his kennel situation? When he receives his dinner, is he asked to perform any tasks first?
No tasks are given, he just eats...and wants more.


What kind of exercise does he receive, if any at all?
He does go on long walks quite often, so I know he gets plenty of excercise.


If you call him out to punish him, he will not come out again.
I have never punished him or spoken harshly to him, even after he bit me.

Thanks so much for your information. It has given me several directions in which to go.

[finn's mom]

At his age, he may be losing his sight or hearing or something or could just be getting uncomfortable physically. Many dogs will snap or growl when they're unsure of their surroundings or what's happening. A visit to the vet may be in order to make sure there's nothing physically or internally wrong with him. Older dogs can show signs of irritation more quickly and with more venom than younger dogs. I think you just need to be firm with your in-laws about the seriousness of the situation. Regardless of why the dog is ill-tempered or easily agitated, he's bitten people, and, needs to be treated slightly differently than in the past. What does your spouse (their child) think of the situation? Is he/she on your side, because I think that's important. Anyway, I don't know very much about Bichons, so, I can't really be of much help with specifics of the breed.

[larbabe]

He IS losing his sight. He has cataracts on both eyes, and I believe he may be hard of hearing (the reason for his loud barking). But I've noticed this bad behavior for quite some time, even before they came to live with us. My wife feels like she is caught in the middle. She feels it's between her folks and I (it puts me in an uncomfortable situation) The dog has also snapped and growled at her (but hasn't bitten her yet) ;)

[finn's mom]

She feels it's between her folks and I (it puts me in an uncomfortable situation)

It's putting everyone in an uncomfortable situation. Her parents should be willing to make adjustments, considering they're living in your home. There are plenty of grown children who wouldn't allow their parent's pets to be there at all. It shouldn't be between you and your in-laws OR your wife and her parents OR you and your wife. It's a situation involving everyone, no one needs to be pitted against eachother. I wish you the best of luck finding a viable solution.

[BOBS DAD]

Do You Have A Downstairs Apartment Of Some Living Arrangements Setup For Your Inlaws. If So, Ask Them To Keep Their Dog There And Not In Common Living Areas. I Don't Agree That Caging Dogs Or Tethering Them Really Makes Them Any More Aggressive Than They Are Already. I Would Ask Them To Keep Their Dog Under Their Watch And Supervision When You Others Who May Be In Peril Are Present.

[larbabe]

First I'm going to try a permenent drag leash when he is around just the immediate family. When the grand kids visit, I will insist he be kept in the in-laws' quarters. Thanks for the suggestion.

[Catty1]

It was mentioned that your in-laws' other bichon died recently. Was this dog badly behaved before that? Maybe the death triggered this.

Otherwise, he sounds like an overfed, overweight, undisciplined, unhealthy spoiled brat.

A vet checkup is definitely in order...offer to take them all there, so YOU can also hear what the vet says (helps in the 'selective hearing' department).

There are also things like Rescue Remedy - but don't know how that would fit in your case.

Good luck!

Catty1

[larbabe]

Way before the other dog's death. I remember him facing off against my sister-in-law five years ago in her home. The dog has recently been checked by a vet (of course, his behavior wasn't mentioned).

The situation escalated this morning. My wife has thus far refused to get involved, so I was forced to approach her parents. I did so in a non-accusatory manner, suggesting the drag leash. They became very defensive, basically accusing me of making a big deal out of nothing. They attributed the dog's behavior to old age. When I pointed out that he has been this way ever since I can remember, they claimed his snarling and biting is perfectly normal, even after showing them my finger (which is still bruised). The other evening, after I was bitten, my in-laws saw me apply an ice pack to my swollen finger, yet neither inquired about my injury. Meanwhile, my mother-in-law talked soothingly to the dog and stroked him. I know this sounds almost comical, but I'm at odds as to how to proceed.

[BOBS DAD]

Any Convalescence Homes Nearby???

[finn's mom]

Good grief, it matters not WHY the dog is aggressive at this point, especially if no training or anything is going to be brought about. The point is he's aggressive and has bitten someone. They're the ones making it a bigger deal than it needs to be, instead of just making a simple adjustment to avoid the dog possibly biting anyone else. And, the dog is basically being pampered for being nasty. Man, that would drive me bananas.

[Catty1]

How about an ultimatum...only if you will follow through on it...either they and you and the dog all go to the vet - or you call Animal Control.

Just a thought.

[emilysgk]

I have seen simular behavior in other dogs who are flat out spoiled. The dog is in control 99% of the time, so when you try to do something otherwise, it snaps to get its way. The dog has learned to be in total control. I think undoing the behavior is going to be next to impossible at its current age. Does the dog do this at other times? Or mostly just when you want it to move and you try to move them? If its only when being picked up it could have a hot spot somewhere. I have a Lhasa, who is the best dog, if you pick her up wrong on occasion though, she will yipe real bad. Never bitten, though she has snapped once or twice when she was physicaly hurt. So though she has had a vet check up, its still possible that she is sore somewhere, like a hip or something otherwise unoticable. I would suggest control her in the non-obvious ways as much as possible. Did you read up on the NILIF?

[larbabe]

He can be most any place and in anyone's home. Every so often, when he is asked to move, he refuses. When approached, he will growl and bare his teeth. When physically moved by the collar, his growl will increase to a snarl, along with snapping. Yes, he is old, can't see very well, and is hard of hearing, but this behavior has gone on for as long as I can remember. I was assured that this was extent of his temperment, that he would never bite anybody. Supposedly, I was the first person he'd ever bitten (but unfortunately, I don't think the last). Therefore, I was informed I must have done something wrong in the way I approached him. The situation is resolved, but not to my liking. When I'm around, he will have a permanent leash. When we have company over, especially with children, the dog will be moved to another room. My in-laws will be the only one's to discipline him, and therein lies the problem; they don't. I think he's spoiled rotten. I have learned a valuable lesson; from now on, I'll keep my mouth shut and not attempt to resolve disputes. It only creates hurt feelings. However, if I'm bitten again, I can't say that I will be as kind to the dog as I have been.

[finn's mom]

The situation is resolved, but not to my liking.

However, if I'm bitten again, I can't say that I will be as kind to the dog as I have been.


I think it's a start! As long as they are doing something to prevent it from happening again, that seems to be all right. It's something, at least.

As for if you're bitten again, I really hope you're not serious about being unkind to the dog. Especially if you mean, hitting or beating him for biting you. It's not his fault, in my opinion. If he bites you again, I'd be less understanding to the owners, and, possibly do something about having either them and the dog or just the dog removed from the home.