ashleycat
05-19-2006, 09:46 PM
saw this somewhere and thout yall might like it
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
one another?
.
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
still the same old story?
.
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler
Beagle"? ?
.
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
.
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans
understand?
.
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?
.
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
it up.
.
2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.
.
3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they
are tasty.
.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying "hello".
.
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table.
.
12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house
- not after.
.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when we have company
.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last question...
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
one another?
.
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
still the same old story?
.
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler
Beagle"? ?
.
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
.
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans
understand?
.
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?
.
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
it up.
.
2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.
.
3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they
are tasty.
.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying "hello".
.
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table.
.
12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house
- not after.
.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when we have company
.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last question...
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?