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View Full Version : Who To Decide?! (Decided) ..(Dropped).



sandragonfly
05-03-2006, 06:57 PM
my felinefurriends, I beg god to help me decide and cry everytime I think who to give away to a good home. :( sorry this will be a bit long . . girlfriends & gary, need your gentle help!

having over ten cats was quite a bit out of my budget but always have found a way to keep them because I love them to sky - something you would do to keep something you cherish so much. I'm like a fly trap where a fly once sticks to me and dies with me. most horrible thoughts to myself if I gave them away to somewhere (good) and wonder in all my life if they are still okay, being taken care of (as much as I do!), alive and around.. :( I see I am partly selfish but also, hate to face the truth that it would be a best solution for some of them.

anyway, long story short - eight, (actually ten now) was my limit number (being a travel student and enough attention for every one of them got out of hands sometimes), until I found and rescued my 9th cat (star (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=96258)) out on the street and she had four babies so I had had 13. (12 now, one died recently) :( my rule was and still, I am not going to give those last few away, unless it is to a good, trustworthy family/friend I know. so they forever could be part of my life too. because some aren't good with keeping in touch, some would stick with policies - you can't share information about this cat, etc. that scares me - kills me if I've let them take away a piece of my heart nowhere and never see them again ..

so.. well, one of great families I know for about four years now (a couple and two young respectful children), who recently lost their second cat.. would love to have two of mine. (so they can keep each other buddies and that would be it!) problem is - I couldn't decide who.. except for those first eight who I went through the progress of adoptions and promised them a furrever home .. with me! I'm stuck now. :D

:( I'm having hard, painfully hard time to decide if I shouldn't fail or who they can take. . . I have no favorites or preferences! and I had them all for over a year - they all are DEAR to me. :( oh, now I'm weeping LIKE a baby.. god help me.

what would you do??

:(

-------
edited - see below who I've decided ..(05-15-2006 at 01:55 AM)

catmandu
05-03-2006, 07:02 PM
That would be a Gut Wrenching Decision.
I would not give away the Veteran Cats as we have been together too long for that.
And I would not want to losethe Kitten Trio.
I dont know what to say,as I dont think i could give Any Body up.
They would look at me and meeow from the carrier and I just wouldnt have the heart.

catfamily
05-03-2006, 07:05 PM
Oh God...That is VERY Hard.Sorry.I don't know what I could say to help.That's tough because I'm like you,once their here for a few months I can't even think of anyone else taking them.But you know youre limit and I'm sure they will keep in touch with you on how they are doing.Maybe they could help you decide wich 2 :D They could come over and see which ones they fall in love with?
Have them stay for a few hours to be sure.Or come over 2 different days for a couple hours each day.

sandragonfly
05-03-2006, 07:16 PM
oh gary, guilty guilty guilty. carrier meows hurt. really hurt. :( ..maybe I shouldn't think on this? I really don't want to..

catfamily, they are in california.. agh, I don't know anymore now!

god will eat me
god will eat me
god will eat me...

kb2yjx
05-03-2006, 07:29 PM
Yes, this is an extremely difficult task!!! If you feel comfortable with the family that you know, maybe you could invite them over and see if any of the cats choose them. God would never think poorly of you!!! Look at ALL the good you have done over the years for HIS creatures, He understands....
Please keep us posted!!

carole
05-03-2006, 07:33 PM
Gina i think everyone understands the torment you are going through, of course you don't want to part with any of your precious furbabies, but honestly if you know they are going to a great home, and that they might be better off due to hard financial worries , then i would let them go, i dont mean to sound harsh, as i know it is something that breaks your heart, sometimes we have to rule with our heads and not our hearts, maybe this is an instance where you just might have to, only you and you alone know what is best for them, so sorry to say it , but you will have to decide what is for the best, but just know no-one hear will think bad of you or any less for doing so, you are a great person, so i wish you the best in your painful and very hard decision making. :)

barncat
05-03-2006, 08:30 PM
I think you and I have a great deal in common. I've ten cats, two dogs, a rabbit, two 'keets and a cockatoo.... a large run down house and very very little money. May 1 a stray in need showed up. While my finances may be improving, it will be a long haul before I am "safe" again if ever. I am reseaching no-kill shelters if all goes bad... It is hard.

I have given very few of the cats that came into my life to others. It was only at times when it was better for the cat and the people. It sounds as if these are good people who would give a great home.

Are there two cats that get along really well with each other? Are there two that are overwhelmed with the size of your colony? Much as I would miss them, if Futzie and Phooka were together they would be happy. The same for Amelia and Yellowboy...in fact they would love to be somewhere Phooka was not...

On the other hand, if you are ok with the number you have now, why do you need to change things?

Ask your animals and yourself what would be best to do and follow your heart. You will not be wrong or bad with any choice.

Best of wishes. Be gentle with yourself.....

Catty1
05-03-2006, 08:46 PM
Sweetie....why would God eat you?

Don't rush yourself on this. If they were closer, they could visit and you could see which of your ark chooses THEM.

Or send them pics, have them choose favourites, and see how you feel.

Or - are there two in your Ark that really get along and you would not separate?

Rule out Miles, or cats over 8 years of age.

These are just suggestions, hon!

How is that wonderful Miles boy doing?

Yes, you would be so sad....but this family would be happy and kind to kitties, right?

HUGS HUGS HUGS

It will work out the way it is supposed to....

catty1

Karen
05-03-2006, 10:16 PM
Which two always pal around with each other? Maybe two of Star's kittens, if they still get along? It sounds like a fabulous opportunity - you'd be giving two cats away to a marvelous home, helping spread the love you have shown them to a new family, and having a postive impact on two young lives.

Not Miles, not Star herself, are there two who are more either rambunctious or - who's the one guilty party who has been not using the litterbox? That might be a territorial thing, and solved by being part of a two-cat household, instead of a manycat household.

Oh, sweetie, don't think of it as giving away your babies, think of it as them spreading love to a new home!

catfamily
05-04-2006, 01:42 AM
Which two always pal around with each other? Maybe two of Star's kittens, if they still get along? It sounds like a fabulous opportunity - you'd be giving two cats away to a marvelous home, helping spread the love you have shown them to a new family, and having a postive impact on two young lives.

Not Miles, not Star herself, are there two who are more either rambunctious or - who's the one guilty party who has been not using the litterbox? That might be a territorial thing, and solved by being part of a two-cat household, instead of a manycat household.

Oh, sweetie, don't think of it as giving away your babies, think of it as them spreading love to a new home!
I agree.Two best buddies.And or territorial ones that need a home w/less cats.We all have those.That's something to consider.

Pawsitive Thinking
05-04-2006, 06:16 AM
Is there anyway of letting the kitties choose? Have the potential purrents come visit and see if any of the cats seem to like them best.

You have given them a great start and know deep down that you will only let them go if you are 1000% certain that they will be happy

sandragonfly
05-04-2006, 07:59 AM
no furterrorists & everyone loves everyone here! well, sometimes only this dear sweet independent star, (she gets along with almost all) but rule out this special girl - she survived through life & death risk and always will live with a damaged stomach. so say, rule out star and the first eight .. left is gus, chance & echo. :( rule out + pick out = guilty. gus loves chance/echo, chance loves gus/echo, also echo loves gus/chance.. confusing, eh? :( they all are special brothers! I really don't want them to pick out, what if they want star? miles? zephyra? (my first catkid!!) clayton? (my only declawed fuzzbutt!) eclypse? (deaf odd-eyed girl) ..every one of them has a special herstory! I don't want to lose any of them but if I have to, I'll lose myself first.

catty, like.. clown will eat me.. I don't sleep good with guilty, being indecisive. good news - miles is one of eight. http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b127/mystichild/pinkgrin.gif the oldest I have of the ark's only four years old. (the avatar kitty, zephyra) :eek: good idea, by the way! (for miles, I'll be making new thread for you soon!)

barncat, no problem here ...yet. lol - like I said, attention get out of hands sometimes. when I was away at hospitals/schools, traveling more than they needed me, I never thought it was fair for having so many, and few neglected hours given pretty often now. if I've had a fewer, catching up giving attention before going bed would be easier. make ups at weekends still aren't enough for me, fair for them. really, ten and twevle is no difference, right?

thanks carole & everyone. carole - you're far way beyond from harsh! intutition is best, I agree too. guilty's what has me stop. I'll just miss them soo much! but like brody's mum said, only if I'm 1,000% certain they'll be happy - was what I want before I give anyone to anyone! I think I am with this family, and I am sure they will spoil two of them more than I do. :eek: :o also, the mother of the family, herself is a great photographer - and are good at keeping in touch so probably I'll get to see them more than I think. :D

but ... who?? I know these last boys are at first shy but in 2-3 days, all of them would act like they have been living there, in kingdom for so long! everyone here loves everybody they met anyway. :rolleyes: :( :confused:

Catty1
05-04-2006, 09:23 AM
"left is gus, chance & echo"

Might they take three? :D


hugs hugs hugs
Catty1

sandragonfly
05-04-2006, 09:52 AM
:eek: catty!

gus's best, best friend is crayola (golden's sucking cat), chance's eclypse (they cuddle all, all the time) and echo is my furvelcro - (my skin cleaner) .. poor crayola, eclypse and me! :(

*sigh* ... *sizzles* .. I'm already exhausted out just thinking about this thread!

Catty1
05-04-2006, 10:33 AM
Sorry - I thought those three were a 'trio'!

Looking forward to a new thread on Miles. Has his beautiful fur grown back in?

hugs!

Catty1

Donnaj4962
05-04-2006, 04:57 PM
Oh my Gina, I am just seeing this thread... and I am sorry that you are having to make this decision. I know that you are hurting. But you are a strong and intelligent woman, and I know that the right decsion will come to you. I agree with Karen, think of it as giving them a new wonderful home. I know it will be hard, but you will always know that whoever gets a new furrever family will be loved! We all know that you would be very scrutinizing (is that a word??!! :rolleyes: ) about who you choose next to love your babies.

Hang in there.

carole
05-04-2006, 06:25 PM
Oh Gina I so don't envey your situation right now, it tearing you apart i can read that in your threads, I wish i had the magic answer, but sadly i Don't, just know everyone is here to help and support you through this, and hey as you put it, you will loose yourself, well then where would all of those kitties be, i know and trust you will hopefully come up with a decision that is right for you and your furbabies, and wish you all the luck in the world, HUGS.

catmandu
05-04-2006, 06:50 PM
I didnt mean to make you feel badly Gina.
I know how tough it would be to rehome a Found Cat.
I know that you will do the best that you can for them.
And God knows whats in Your Heart and He Loves You.
As Does The Pet Angel Army.
And I the Found Cat Feeder.

rg_girlca
05-04-2006, 11:22 PM
Oh Gina, what a hard decision this has to be for you. Just reading your posts I can clearly tell this is tearing you apart as it would any of us if we had to make such a decision. But it sounds like you picked a very loving family to take which ever cats you decide will handle this the best.

I would love to have more cats, but I know financially, I am only able to handle the 6 I have already and even that is a bit of a strain.

My heart goes out to you my dear. ((((((HUGS))))))

sandragonfly
05-15-2006, 02:04 AM
okay, first - thank every one of you so much for understanding. your words were very touchy.

I have decided .. gus & chance. :(

oh, don't ask me how.

I'll never forgive myself. :(

I don't have to do this..

right?

tears bug me dearly. god will kill me this time.

:( .. maybe one more summer with them.

justonemore.

Catty1
05-15-2006, 09:51 AM
Gina - tell us some more about the family that will have them. I am thinking that as you talk about the family and how wonderful they are...maybe, just maybe, you will feel a bit better about this.

As Karen said before - you are spreading love, not giving anything up.

I KNOW it hurts, honey, I am not ignoring that.

Just trying to help a bit...

Could we see pics and stories of Gus and Chance?

HUGS HUGS HUGS
Catty1

sandragonfly
07-10-2006, 04:51 PM
thanks catty, doesn't matter now.

new for you (old for me) updatty I thought I'd share in case some of you're wondering: about almost two ..wow - two months ago when started this misery, I emailed her again and were telling her about and if she'd still like having gus and chance. a little background back then, they were hoping to get two of mine when I was thinking uncomfortably to have this number of cats before moving to east (here) and to focus, continue my education, and never ended up giving out two because I couldn't! two weeks later, I got this email back from her -

Wow!! Long time no hear from! I hope you're doing well and enjoying life on the other side of the country!!

I would have loved to have taken Gus and Chance before you moved but understand that you did not want me to take a sick kitty. Unforunately, we have adopted a dog AND a cat since you left. Both needed serious rescuing and are doing fine and getting along great in their new family. It was really hard to get George to agree to adopting them but I think he's glad we did. We love them both a lot. The dog is a German Shepard named Maya and the cat is a black and white long hair named Romeo.

(sick kitty = chance & george = her hubby). last august, chance was very sick with inflammatory bowel disease, (see here - I (http://www.petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=87180) & II (http://www.petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=94383) if you wish). I never wanted to 'spread his love' to somebody else before I could take care of him and be sure he'll be okay. now, victory they saved two other lives too! :) actually four, two spaces in a shelter.

now that I lost two of my preciouskids (avalanche & miles) after thinking more on this .. looks like this doesn't matter anymore! they're all mine for good.. I don't think 11 would hurt for 1 meowmie?

deep happy sigh, no more misery? thanks everyone.