Need drinking advice (Adult Advice)

[king2005]

I've decided to learn how to drink. Not hardcore or anything like that, just a drink or 2. I just don't know where to start & how much is enough.

Tom thinks it would be best to drink beer (Keiths). So I'm going to pick up a 6 pack tonight. But how will I know if even 1 beer is too much? I'm not a very big person (5'2) & I've never had a drink in my life (I'll be 24 in Aug)..
My folks don't drink so I don't know how I'll react to it... Tom thinks it'll be best if I went to a bar for a drink (he said drinking alone starts a bad habbit & I agree). BUT I'm so darn shy I don't think I can go alone (I hope I can make it into the beer store). I don't know anyone in this city that I could go with. I know Tom wont go with me, I know I can drink with him at his place (I just want to learn how to drink before I go to his place as I'd rather not accidently get drunk off my rocker & be near him)...

another question.. How fast or slow are you suppose to drink? Slow like a tea (ok I'm not good at drinking tea slow, but I know the proper speed) or fast as in a can of pop (lasts maybe 10 mins)?

I'm a late bloomer in just about everything. Didn't even try to start to drive until I was 20yrs old (didn't feel like I was ready) & here I am almost 24 learning something else new (smoking & drugs will forever be off my list!)...

Thanks guys (feels stupid for even posting this)

[Karen]

Best not to go alone to a bar, as you don't know how alcohol will affect you. Drinking isn't a necessary socialability, so dunno why you'd like to start, but even if you are going to drink at home, invite a friend over, as if you get drunk, you won't be a good judge of your actions anyway.

If you can find a friend to go out with you, you can always make sure you have a snack before you go, so the alcohol won't hit you on an empty stomach, and alternate glasses of alcoholic stuff with nonalcoholic - bars always have gingerale, and I'd often order a ginger ale/orange juice combination if I didn't feel like getting harrassed about "not drinking," people just assume it's a screwdriver.

[catnapper]

Ok, just asking because I remember you saying you have anxiety -- are you taking any meds for it? Generally, anxiety drugs and alcohol should NOT be mixed.

Stop and think WHY you want to start drinking. It seems to me that you are in a low point. Hubby left you, your other support wants to go back to his hometown. You're alone and unsure of the future. All BAD reasons to start drinking. You could spiral into binge drinking and a drinking problem very quickly once you see that it tends to take the sting out of emotional pain. I can see how it might seem attreactive right now -- nobody wants to revel in the heartache you must be feeling. ((hugs)) to you, and know we are here to help you heal, alcohol is not.

I urge you to refrain from learning to drink at this time. Wait til your life is 100% back on an even keel before you try to drink.

[carole]

Why even start, drinking is a waste of time IMO, you can live a happy life without it,if you must i would just drink a little , but then how many people can actually drink a little and not stop, believe me you are missing nothing, hangovers are not much fun, personally i now hate the taste of alcohol,so I am now a teetotaller,(and no i did not have a drinking problem) but if i had my life over again, i would never ever drink, one just does not need to.,but its your life and up to you,but remember you have no idea how alcohol will affect you, you could be one of the unlucky ones who cannot control your drinking, or then again you may have no problem, but why even take the risk.

My advice is DONT START. I don't mean to sound unkind, but I think to start now at 24 is plain foolish, if you have had no desire to drink before why now, ask yourself that? please.

I agree with the others, you seem to be turning to drinking at a time that is not a good one for you, please try and find another healthy alternative, you asked for advice, but reading your further post you dont really seem to be listening, however it is your life, so if you must, you must i guess, but i hope you change your mind on pursing a drinking habit.

I have been unlucky enough in my life to be in two relationships with alcoholic men, (yep i sure can pick em)so my experience is anything but good, and maybe i am being paranoid about it, but i am concerned for your welfare, please take care,you are only young with all your future ahead of you, I hope starting to drink does not become a huge mistake for you. HUGS.

[caseysmom]

This is just my opinion but considering all you have gone through lately I wouldn't think this would be a good time to start drinking. If you are curious just measure a half cup of beer and throw the rest out, alcohol has a way of creeping up on you.

You have been really strong through all this all on your own.

[king2005]

If you can find a friend to go out with you, you can always make sure you have a snack before you go, so the alcohol won't hit you on an empty stomach, and alternate glasses of alcoholic stuff with nonalcoholic - bars always have gingerale, and I'd often order a ginger ale/orange juice combination if I didn't feel like getting harrassed about "not drinking," people just assume it's a screwdriver.

Karen is there something besides Orange Juice? I cannot drink Orange or grape juices as I'm allergic (I can eat an orange & grapes, just not the juice, esp. the fake stuff).

I think I'll try 1 beer home alone tonight to see how I react to it. There are others in the house, so if I feel sick or have an allergic reaction, helps not too far away (& they have a car).

[Jessika]

Best for starters - do not drink more than 1 every hour. If you do only drink 1 an hour, you should be fine. Just don't over do it. If you start feeling a little lightheaded - stop.

Also, I HATE beer! It tastes SO gross. I prefer the "chick" drinks :rolleyes: Like Smirnoff Ice, Bacardi Silver, my FAVORITE though is Smirnoff Twist Triple Black. But be careful with those, though. It doesn't taste like beer so you can easily drink a lot in one sitting, then stand up, and be like "WHOA".

I totally just sounded like a teenager with that last statement, but that's honestly how it goes.

If you think you're overdoing it, just stop. :)

Also -- beer before liquor gets you sicker. Liquor before beer and you're in the clear.

[Kfamr]

I'm just trying to understand WHY you want to start drinking, what's the point?


As others have said, with all of your recent down time, from whay you've told us this especially isn't the time to start drinking.

[critter crazy]

I havent had a drink in a long time and i cant say that i miss it at all!!!! Not saying that i drank alot, mostly just two or three with friends or family. But i stopped maybe over a year gao and i have felt so good about it! I wouldnt start. there is realy no real reason to. JMO!!

[carole]

King2005 i have added quite a bit to my original post, i hope you take the time to go back and read it please. :)

[Husky_mom]

i really second Kay, i havent drank a zip in my life (27 now) and dont want to, i never felt like a stranger if i was with people who drank, i always asked for a LEMONADE LOL..........even today i still ask lemonade.........

i dont want you to get me wrong but if you havent drank why start now?, dont let anyone push you to do so or do it because you feel bad if you dont......if you really want to do it just try to go slow and be very sure that you really want to..........

[lizbud]

I'm just trying to understand WHY you want to start drinking, what's the point?


As others have said, with all of your recent down time, from whay you've told us this especially isn't the time to start drinking.


Very good question. You might not even like the taste of beer. Why do
you want to anesthetize yourself to be in a bar? You can meet good guys
just joining a club certered around hobbies or something.

[moosmom]

I have this haunting question in my mind.
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WHY??????

Why on earth would you want to learn how to drink? :curious: It's NOT a skill nor is it a sport. It's a serious disease. Ask ANY person with a predisposition to alcoholism. It's NOT fun.

If you've never tasted liquor (I don't care what kind it is) then you won't know what you're missing. By that I mean, hangovers, drunken blackouts, memory loss, embarassing situations (I've had MANY), vomiting all over yourself while in a drunken blackout, not to mention your liver looking like a dried up prune. NOT BEING IN CONTROL!! Those are the one's I've been through. [B]Can anyone else here share?[/BOLD]

Sorry to be so graphic, but there no way to sugar coat alcohol.
Okay, I've given my usual AA lecture for today. ;)

How about going into "Thursdays" and having a round or two with me. It's alot safer AND you wake up the next day feeling great, with your sobriety still intact!

If you STILL want to try drinking, *sigh*, (Just worry about ya! :p try out a frozen drink. My daughter's favorite is a Madouri Sour.

Good luck and please...DRINK RESPONSIBLY

[Jessika]

Aw come on guys, drinking on occasion, not to get drunk, is not a bad thing like you're making it out to be. There is responsible and irresponsible drinking. In this specific case, if you are on medication for other things etc it may not be a good idea, in fact it is NOT a good idea to EVER mix medication and alcohol.

But in general drinking is not evil or a bad thing. Drinking responsibly on occasion is one thing; going out every night to bars to get wasted is another.

[My Peanuts]

I drink sometimes. Not nearly as much as I did in college. I drink and get drunk (not stupid falling down drunk, but legally drunk.) I see nothing wrong with it in moderation and the fact that you are asking questions means you want to do it responsibly. I’m sure you know not to drive or let someone drive you that’s been drinking.

You said your parents don't drink so alcoholism doesn't run in your family (or didn't have the chance to show up) which is good but doesn't mean you don't have it. Don't drink to help with feelings or to forget about something that's bothering you.

For your first time, drink slow and much less than you think you should. Don't drink shots; they will sneak up on you too fast. Sip a beer, or a mixed drink. I like Vodka and cranberry (not sure if you are allergic to cranberry juice too). Otherwise Mike's hard lemonade is good, but more than 2 burn my stomach because of the acid.

Alcoholism does run in my family, but I certainly don't have a problem. I used to drink a lot in college because it was social and it was fun and I wasn't addicted. Now I drink much less and most of the time when the opportunity arises I don't even indulge.

[slleipnir]

I honestly don't see any harm in a drink or 2. I personally like a drink now and then. If I had a long, hard day, then I find a drink relaxes me a little. I've never been a big drinker. I've never even been drunk. However, I do like to have a drink once in a while.

[jenluckenbach]

Let's start by saying, I am 43 and I never learned to drink (as you put it). I can't even handle the smell, why would I want to go further??? (same reason I never smoked)

I would never tell any person who enjoys a beer or wine (or any alcoholic drink) on occassion, that it is wrong. But I ASSUME it is because they LIKE it! If you need to "learn to drink" it sounds like you feel the need to (not because it gives you a bit of enjoyment, but because it is cool???)

If you happen to try a beer or some wine, and find you like the taste, then have 1 or 2 once in a while. But what happens if you force yourself to drink something alcoholic and your body reacts badly? What if that is all it takes to prove you have no control over what alchohol does to you? An alchohlic doesn't KNOW he/she is an alchoholic, not usually until the drinks start to run and ruin their lives. I just can't imagine purposely putting yourself in that possible danger.

So I guess my first advice would be "DON'T FORCE YOURSELF." and after that I would say start with something small and be true to yourself about how it makes you feel.

[*JTM*Coco*pi*Caramel*]

Hmmmmmmm if you haven't drank before, why start? I mean I do drink, I will be 21 in july, and I started drinking before I was legal to, (19 in Canada) so I really started when I was like honestly 14! Not proud of that! If I had never drank before like you, and brought drinking into my lifestyle/friends, I don't think I would really ever start. I don't really drink now except for a glass of wine at dinner or something and I don't go to the bar really either.

Drinking is a responsability and you have obviously thought it out and seem like a sensible person so if thats what you have your mind set on I guess then go for it. I wouldn't reccomend going to the bar first off, and I would drink with someone you trust. Your plan seems pretty good, except for the Keiths part :o I spent 2 years in Halifax going to university where Keiths beer was first brewed and it is not the best beer! Some ppl like it I guess but I think thats just cause they want to drink Keiths cause it's Keiths, not cause it taste good! You kinda have to have a tast for beer but try a light one maybe first. I wouldnt reccomend getting into the hard stuff though! Not now anyways! Hope that helps and good luck!

Edit: I didn't realize that you were having troubles in your life right now, so what I previously said would only apply if you are in a good emotional state and place in life. Because I drank so early, I learned the hard way, and I drank when I was depressed and when I was on medication and was irresponsible (then again I was too young). I don't want anyone to think I grew up in a bad family or anything because I didn't I had really strict parents I just rebelled and I live in a small town where drinking is the pass time. I regret starting and am so thankful I didnt become an alcoholic. Like I said I now only drink a glass of wine with supper occasionaly and thats it. Honestly, depression and drinking leads down a dirty road that you don't want to go down that caused me a lot of bad situations and messes (socially and physically). I really would not drink if I were you. I hope things are going ok with you and that you make whatever decision best suits your life right now :)

[moosmom]

Ever hear of Karen Ann Quinlan?http://www.ascensionhealth.org/ethics/public/cases/case21.asp

[Cataholic]

JenL and Jessika have thoughts similar to my own. I drink, and have since I was 15 or 16, I suppose. I enjoy a glass or two of wine, a cold beer on occasion, and sometimes a chick drink! For me, it is something I enjoy, in moderation.

I don't know why you want to try NOW something you haven't had before, other than as an effort to test your wings, and maybe put something between you and Rob. "Look, Rob, I can drink now, too" is what comes to mind.

Anti-depressants and alcohol do not mix. At all.

[king2005]

JenL and Jessika have thoughts similar to my own. I drink, and have since I was 15 or 16, I suppose. I enjoy a glass or two of wine, a cold beer on occasion, and sometimes a chick drink! For me, it is something I enjoy, in moderation.

I don't know why you want to try NOW something you haven't had before, other than as an effort to test your wings, and maybe put something between you and Rob. "Look, Rob, I can drink now, too" is what comes to mind.

Anti-depressants and alcohol do not mix. At all.

I'm not on any form of medications. I don't do well on any medication (I'm going to avoid all meds at all costs, except my allergy meds as its a once a week or once a month thing.. its random when I take it). I didn't even know I was allergic to the Pill & the Patch until I left Rob. My head suddenly cleared up, I was no longer randomly sad, my skin issues are gone (just touching me use to hurt so much), I can remember things (I had a hard time remember how to spell my own name & couldn't remember my own phone # & could hardly count...Now, I learned my new phone # in just reading it once!).

I met Rob when I was 16yrs old & hes Anti-Drinking big time, so I just never drank. Both of my grandfathers are drunks. One hit me (hes dead now.. not to be mean, but thank goodness!), The other is still around & hes a happy drunk. All my friends back home have the odd beer here & there. I can't do squat at big work meetings as there is always booze, nor go to the bars with work employees.

My dads brother was never sober, but never drunk either & hes very welloff. My moms brothers are crazy party animals, but they are into drugs aswell, so I tend to ignore them 99% of the time.

My sister use to get wasted to the point of being ill, due to what mom put her through (mom got counclers to try to make us say that dad touched us! It was a living hell & she drank to get away.. I just dissapeared into the forest for up to 12hrs/day with my old dog to get away).

I don't think I'm depressed (I was sad & upset as he was cheating on me) as I haven't had a single Anxity attack since I've moved out... I talk to my dad daily on MSN (while I'm at work) & on the phone (when I'm at home). I also have a good support team (unlike when Max was murdered, but I think the Pill & the Patch had made that far worse for me then it should have been) this time.

I just wanted to do this right.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

All I will say is "know when to stop". Drinking isn't compulsory, you don't have to match everyone else drink for drink and it isn't a crime to leave your glass with drink still in it............

[king2005]

All I will say is "know when to stop". Drinking isn't compulsory, you don't have to match everyone else drink for drink and it isn't a crime to leave your glass with drink still in it............

I would never do that. I'm not interested in getting drunk off my rocker like that. I'm only interested in a drink or 2, I just don't know my limit yet, so I wont drink more then 1 until I see how it goes. I more then likely wont even drink 2.

[Cataholic]

King, didn't you JUST say this a week or so ago????


Guns & Pit Bulls are a part of life & are not bad (like drugs, smoking & booze, bad no matter what you do).


I would really re-think your current ideas....they don't seem to be consistent with last weeks. AND, while I didn't go back and search every post, I **think** you are the person that repeatedly posts things about a sister that had issues, and how you would NEVER drink??? I might be confused, and if so, I apologize, but, your current actions seem to be in conflict with your past actions. I know you are resistant to professional help (as you have posted that), and that you thought Rob could see you through any issue...but, things seem to be a little unsettled in your life right now, and I just can't see how alcohol will benefit you.

[BOBS DAD]

Ok, just asking because I remember you saying you have anxiety -- are you taking any meds for it? Generally, anxiety drugs and alcohol should NOT be mixed.

Stop and think WHY you want to start drinking. It seems to me that you are in a low point. Hubby left you, your other support wants to go back to his hometown. You're alone and unsure of the future. All BAD reasons to start drinking. You could spiral into binge drinking and a drinking problem very quickly once you see that it tends to take the sting out of emotional pain. I can see how it might seem attreactive right now -- nobody wants to revel in the heartache you must be feeling. ((hugs)) to you, and know we are here to help you heal, alcohol is not.

I urge you to refrain from learning to drink at this time. Wait til your life is 100% back on an even keel before you try to drink.

I was going to respond but I have adealine to meet - this KRAZY work thing!!! But Catnapper seemed to have a similar slant on the subject as my own. YOU ARE DEF AT A LOW POINT IN LIFE - USUALLY NOT A GOOD TIME "TO START" DRINKING. I will add comments later - for what they are worth!

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I don't see the harm in having an occasional drink. Justin has a beer every now and then. I personally don't really like too much in the way of alcoholic drinks. We went to our friends' house the other night and they made margaritas. I had about 4 sips of mine and then I was done. I do like some 'chick drinks', but rarely drink them.

[BOBS DAD]

I'm not on any form of medications. I don't do well on any medication (I'm going to avoid all meds at all costs, except my allergy meds as its a once a week or once a month thing.. its random when I take it). I didn't even know I was allergic to the Pill & the Patch until I left Rob. My head suddenly cleared up, I was no longer randomly sad, my skin issues are gone (just touching me use to hurt so much), I can remember things (I had a hard time remember how to spell my own name & couldn't remember my own phone # & could hardly count...Now, I learned my new phone # in just reading it once!).

I met Rob when I was 16yrs old & hes Anti-Drinking big time, so I just never drank. Both of my grandfathers are drunks. One hit me (hes dead now.. not to be mean, but thank goodness!), The other is still around & hes a happy drunk. All my friends back home have the odd beer here & there. I can't do squat at big work meetings as there is always booze, nor go to the bars with work employees.

My dads brother was never sober, but never drunk either & hes very welloff. My moms brothers are crazy party animals, but they are into drugs aswell, so I tend to ignore them 99% of the time.

My sister use to get wasted to the point of being ill, due to what mom put her through (mom got counclers to try to make us say that dad touched us! It was a living hell & she drank to get away.. I just dissapeared into the forest for up to 12hrs/day with my old dog to get away).

I don't think I'm depressed (I was sad & upset as he was cheating on me) as I haven't had a single Anxity attack since I've moved out... I talk to my dad daily on MSN (while I'm at work) & on the phone (when I'm at home). I also have a good support team (unlike when Max was murdered, but I think the Pill & the Patch had made that far worse for me then it should have been) this time.

I just wanted to do this right.


I am sorry... my deadline has to wait. I am just compelled to respond. Please know that I am in no way trying to be mean. You seem like you have had way too much of that already.

I honestly think you need help and counseling in the worst way. You have had such a difficult and unusual life experience(s) that I don't think you "really" even can grasp what is "normal" for most. Your latest post (QUOTED HERE) is a HUGE, HUGE RED FLAG. It "Screams Help Me" to even the most casual reader. Your text reads like a soap opera riddled with dysfunctionality.

Please believe me... counseling is in order AND IT WILL HELP. I have had counseling and it help me turn the corner during a very difficult time in my life. A new job (with folks who were unbearable), considering starting "my own business (partially because I always wanted to and partially "just to get away") and just unbearable weight on my shoulders. AND IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO SEE THAT I NEEDED PROFESSIONAL HELP". You see, I was always the strong one, the prodigal son, the success story... people "just assumed I had it all together and would always come out on top". I carried myself that way too - proud, confident - all the while fighting off feelings of impending doom and collapse. After reaching the lowest of lows - I told myself I would "try" - "just try" one session of counseling. I went to several. Felt a little better but "not a magic pill" by any means. Left first counselor - tried a second, and then stumbled upon a 3rd. She was it!!! A loving, caring woman who seemed to almost "get me" from the beginning. It seemed like she had me pegged. Like she had heard this story before - she was just waiting for me to verbalize it. THE CLASSIC OVERACHIEVER. She made me realize that it was OK to fall short (Ooohhh... it almost still hurts to say that - but IT IS). I do NOT have be everything to everyone. I can't save the WORLD and it was just unrealistic to think that I could shoulder infinite responsibilty. She gave me a book that I never finished... just the first couple of chapters was enough to begin to put me at ease again and to start on the road to recovery. It was "FEAR OF FAILURE". What a great title. It almost says it all. It was the Fear of Failure that was the very worst of my concerns - more so than actual failure itself. The sort of being "EXPOSED". The embarassment, the ridicule... the spite from others who always wanted to see me fail. GUESS WHAT - nobody really cares - nobody was really watching me that close. And if they did care - why did I??? Suffice to say that it was quite enlightening and very helpful to realize that your worst of fears is "really" not all that bad. Enough of me (maybe someone reading this and suffering from anxiety might feel a bit more hopeful).

Your story is different. You have different and complex issues that I reallly think you need to explore and discuss with a trained "Professional". No offense, but you sometimes sound almost childlike in your perspective on life. You said you lived a very sheltered life and this could have affected you more deeply than you realize. And the drunken Grandparents, being hit, Party Animals on your Mother's side, attempts to have you wrongfully accuse your father of molestation... and on and on... Please consider seeing someone (TOM is "not" going to do it for you).

Well now that I have bared my soul in an effort to convince you to consider counseling - please get some help. I sincerely believe you need it.

[moosmom]

would really re-think your current ideas....they don't seem to be consistent with last weeks. AND, while I didn't go back and search every post, I **think** you are the person that repeatedly posts things about a sister that had issues, and how you would NEVER drink??? I might be confused, and if so, I apologize, but, your current actions seem to be in conflict with your past actions. I know you are resistant to professional help (as you have posted that), and that you thought Rob could see you through any issue...but, things seem to be a little unsettled in your life right now, and I just can't see how alcohol will benefit you.

Thanks Johanna!!!

I think given the circumstances, you don't need to learn to drink right now. I think adding alcohol to your life would only complicate things. Just my honest opinion.

[Cataholic]

Bob's Dad- thank you for taking the time to post what I wanted to, but, was too cowardly.

I have often thought it, but, didn't want to offend- you need to explore counseling.

[jenluckenbach]

I would like to add a comment on this quote.

I can't do squat at big work meetings as there is always booze, nor go to the bars with work employees.



That is BULL COOKIES! The only thing you can't do at those gatherings is drink alcohol. I am certain you would be welcome with or without an alcoholic drink in your hand.

From the family history you just listed above I would say extremely strongly that you are much better off NOT starting. There is no need.

[carole]

I think you would be wise to seek counselling too King2005, and I think you are very vunerable right now and adding drinking into an already complex situation would be extremely bad and a very bad decision on your part, on the whole you have always struck me as a very sensible young person, so I think you will make the right choice here, i see red flags too, you mentioned that you had grandfathers who were both drunks, that is a warning sign IMO, that indeed alcoholism is in your family, so be careful.

I don't think in anyway anyone is saying drinking is either good or bad or evil, myself included, moderation is the key as is with everything, trouble is so few of us human beings can actually achieve that and to those who do in everything in their life i take my hat off to you.

Again i will say i think it would be foolish of you to start drinking now, can you tell me WHY??? you want to drink, do you think you will enjoy the taste, the experience or what? is it a way of socialising or what? you will be less inhibited if you have a drink in you or what? I am just lost as to what your reasons are for starting.

Honestly if you think you need to drink for whatever reason then go ahead, but just be prepared for the down side of drinking, unless you are one of those rare people who are in control, you are going to experience that IMO.

Most people who enjoy a drink or two do enjoy the feeling it gives them.relaxing them, and just that nice warm feeling, if you can stop there then that is fine, but unfortunately very few actually can,let us hope you are one of them, because it seems you are determined to take this path regardless of any advice given here, so I can only hope you find drinking a nice experience and not the usual experience that it is for most.

p.s I agree with Jen too, it is rubbish to say you cannot enjoy yourself without alcohol, because you sure can.

[catnapper]

Well, I was thinking about this earlier and didn't get a change to mention it, but with your allergies, there's a HIGH chance you'll also be allergic to alcohol. I am one of those "lucky" folks who is. Just a teaspoon of alcohol is enough to make me sick for a week. I wake up the next morning with the hangover from heck simply by eating beer battered chicken (don't try to tell me that the alcohol burns off - my day after hangover says otherwise)

Everyone has different reactions to alcohol, and if you have strong reactions to many common meds and foods, you're highly likely to have a negative reaction to alocohol.

Thanks to my sensitivity to alcohol, I spent many nights at parties and clubs drinking ginger ale or water. I still had a ball out with my friends and never felt like I missed out on any of the fun. I actually liked it BETTER because when they started to get silly and dopey, I still was in full control of myself.

[Catty1]

Alcoholism is an illness, a family illness. It RUNS IN FAMILIES.

Big danger zone here, King. Please check in with your doctor ASAP.

HUGS HUGS HUGS

Catty1

[gini]

I have been following this thread, but I haven't posted until now.

You have received some good advice here but I would imagine that you might feel overwhelmed by all of us.

The thought came to my mind (and why I logged on to post) is that you have shared a lot of your recent life and some personal information with all of us. And something has happened because of that. ALL OF US CARE! You seem so special and vulnerable at the same time.

So we may seem like a bunch of clucking hens gathered around you - trying to tell you what to do or not to do. It is just out of great concern for such a lovely person that we all speak our mind.

Just know that we will continue to be here for you - no one is judging you - and most of all we want you to have the chance at a very happy life - which you richly deserve.

Hugs to you from Gini and her crazy orange gang.

[king2005]

I have been following this thread, but I haven't posted until now.

You have received some good advice here but I would imagine that you might feel overwhelmed by all of us.

The thought came to my mind (and why I logged on to post) is that you have shared a lot of your recent life and some personal information with all of us. And something has happened because of that. ALL OF US CARE! You seem so special and vulnerable at the same time.

So we may seem like a bunch of clucking hens gathered around you - trying to tell you what to do or not to do. It is just out of great concern for such a lovely person that we all speak our mind.

Just know that we will continue to be here for you - no one is judging you - and most of all we want you to have the chance at a very happy life - which you richly deserve.

Hugs to you from Gini and her crazy orange gang.

Overwhelmed is right.. wasn't really expecting this, esp. the coluncling part. Which I'll never go back to ever again, they are monsters in my eyes! I've been to atleast 5 & I hated them all. One told me to do something, so I did & then yelled at me the following week for walking out of the house while mom was yelling at me! One tried to make me say dad touched me (Its NOT true!). One started an argument with mom about DOG FOOD & ya I was stuck in the middle of that. The others I don't remember, I walked out before things got heated or someone tried to make me say or do something that would result in me being yelled at more...

Please don't bring up counclers anymore, just thinking of them stresses the hell out of me & reminds me of the hell I went through with mom, the lawyers & all moms friends... I'd rather talk to people on here, as your far nicer & many have life experience well above mine.

I know you all care, other wise you would have ignored me, or told me off long ago.

Honestly right now I'm in a fantastic mood (have been for the most part this week & last). I wont get into too many details right now, but I met someone lastnight. I'll be far smarter in this relationship as I wont be on the pill or patch (allergic & messed with my mind big time). I already know what its like to be in an abusive relationship & I'll never go there again. I've already shooed 2 guys away, so I'm not latching onto the first person I meet (I'm being very picky). Both of us are being smart. Were building a friendship & will take it from there if all goes well. Our first date will be on Sat, it'll be filled with movies/tv, pop & a walk in the park. I told him I have never had a drink & he wants to keep it that way (he drinks the odd beer but never to the point of getting drunk)...

I'll still be careful & don't worry about me getting stuck in a crappy relationship again (if my brain fails to notice it) as I have a large older man keeping his eye on me (not by choice so its a little annoying), hes my Landladies Boyfriend & hes very protective of the ladies under his roof (hes a ladies man & wants me to have the best). Hes the big reason why I'm not scared to meet guys, as I know he's never too far.

[Cataholic]

I don't think in anyway anyone is saying drinking is either good or bad or evil, myself included, moderation is the key as is with everything, trouble is so few of us human beings can actually achieve that and to those who do in everything in their life i take my hat off to you.

Honestly if you think you need to drink for whatever reason then go ahead, but just be prepared for the down side of drinking, unless you are one of those rare people who are in control, you are going to experience that IMO.

Most people who enjoy a drink or two do enjoy the feeling it gives them.relaxing them, and just that nice warm feeling, if you can stop there then that is fine, but unfortunately very few actually can,let us hope you are one of them, because it seems you are determined to take this path regardless of any advice given here, so I can only hope you find drinking a nice experience and not the usual experience that it is for most.




Carole, I REALLY take exception to your comments above. I drink, members of my family drink, many of my friends drink. All of us, without exception, are 'in control', and are able to 'stop there' with a few drinks. I recognize that there are people that cannot, but, to somehow suggest that ALL people cannot is far from the truth. I know I must come across as some big-time drinker/party girl (woman??),and nothing could be further from the truth. Drinking a glass or two of wine is a nice experience for me. I am no more or less of a person when I drink. Alcohol, itself, is not the 'devil'. It is the people that have an addiction AND drink that makes the problem.

Painting a picture that it is an all or nothing proposition is irresponsible to those that might be thinkinhg of taking a drink. The hell that you know is better than the hell that you don't. To make it seem so mysterious, and mind altering is just making it 'taboo', which seems to make it more tempting for people.

Johanna

[Cataholic]

I'd rather talk to people on here, as your far nicer & many have life experience well above mine.



We are NOT trained professionals (in the counselling arena, anyhow). King, you are on a dangerous, somewhat 'blind' path. You remind me of a pinball game, bouncing off one target, heading a particular way, until you hit another target, than, you head another way. Does that make sense?

Keep in mind that any counselling you **might** have experienced in the past doesn't have to be a current situation. Like all else in life- some counsellors might be 'bad' (at least for you), and some will be great. Finding someone that works for YOU, and is comfortable for YOU might take a few sessions.

[pitc9]

Please be careful.
I started drinking at 13 and loved it... waaaaay too much.
When I met my hubby at the end of my senior year in high school, he was anti-drinking. So I stopped, that lasted 3 years, until I started missing it.
So I started drinking (and smoking) behind his back and my families backs.
I hide where ever and when ever I could to drink and smoke and worst off, my friends helped me hide, and would take the blame for me smelling like smoke. :(
Here I am 10 years later, still hiding and now I have a drinking problem. I am a binge drinker, when I know I'll have a few hours to myself (no hubby) I'll run to the store and buy a six pack and drink it as fast as I can, and make sure to be in bed asleep when my hubby gets home. I hide my empties in my trunk and throw them away once I get to work the next day. I am also now battling with depression which makes my drinking worse.
There are no alcohol dependants in my family, no history of alcohol abuse anywhere. It can happen to any one if you're not responsible. I'm not telling you not to go out and have a drink once in a while; it can be relaxing and fun... but just know when to stop and be sure to keep yourself in check at all times! :)

[*JTM*Coco*pi*Caramel*]

Going to a counseler isn't suppose to be fun and the topics brought up there are suppose to be hard to talk about and deal with but the point is to deal with them there in a controled environment with a proffesional. I have been to many counselers and I really never "liked" them but I left my trust in them and things worked out. Maybe now that you are older you would be more open to a counseler and be truly open with them and realize it is ok to get mad or sad and stay and bear through it.

I know you probably didn't imagine the overwhelming response from everybody, but they are just concerned about you, that is a good thing! Often times we get mad, take wrong directions in life, and are confused about things in life, and we cannot see a logical view of what going on and that is were a counseler comes in. You may think you are ok but it may be a tempory thing, and things change fast especially when you have a rough past to remember. I just hope that everything goes well for you and good luck. Hopefully some of this advice from everyone is helpful to you.

[beeniesmom]

I'm just trying to understand WHY you want to start drinking, what's the point?


As others have said, with all of your recent down time, from whay you've told us this especially isn't the time to start drinking.

I agree with Kfmr and also think that your question is a strange one.
Is this a request for help?
You really shouldn't drink if you are on meds, as others have said.
I don't drink regularly, but have an occasional beer. Maybe once every few weeks just because I like the taste and the coldness.

:confused:

[BOBS DAD]

ALL OF US CARE!
You seem so special and vulnerable at the same time.

So we may seem like a bunch of clucking hens gathered around you - trying to tell you what to do or not to do. It is just out of great concern for such a lovely person that we all speak our mind.

Very well put. I just wanted to reiterate your sentiment. YES, we do care. And if I or anybody else sounded condenscending or anything other than concerned for you, I humbly apologize. I remember what Jesus says in the Bible, "remove the board from your own eye before you point out the speck in your brothers (sister)". Best to you!

Dan

[carole]

Johanna i feel i must address your comments, although i would rather let them pass, as this thread is not about YOU or about peoples drinking, it is about king2005 and i think you are reading way too much into my posts completely, if you read my post carefully i have never suggested that everyone cannot stop at a few drinks, but there are only a few IMO that really can, (and that is purely my personal opinion from observations in life)and obviously you are one of them, so why on earth do you have to take offence at anything i have posted is beyond me, i must say i feel a little hurt that you have chosen to do so, i only speak from experience and am only trying to advice king2005 to the best of my knowledge and life experiences,at nearly 50 i do have a few ya know.

King2005 is old enough to not be tempted by anything one might say to make it sound mysterious or whatever as you suggested.

I wanted to add I myself have only seen alcohol abused most of the time,so my comments are a generalisation,not directed at people like yourself, so there is absolutely no need for you to take offence, so please do not turn this thread into a debate about alcohol being evil,although in the wrong hands it is, just look at statistics re drunk drivers, spousal abuse and child abuse and neglect, often you will find alcohol abuse is behind this legal drug, that some do become addicted to,(obviously the first and the others as well)for someone like yourself and family and others it is not a problem,so why so defensive,King2005 does have some alcohol abuse in her family from reading her posts, so my advice to her is why start and take the risk.

This is the second time you have challenged my posts re-drinking the first being Denise who admitted to a drinking problem, again i was there only to help if I could..i think you read way too much into my posts and take them the wrong way,which I understand, but honestly you have got me totally wrong.

Sure I have been on the bad side with the stuff, but hey i remember some jolly good times with alcohol myself,that were fun and enjoyable, i think my experience is that i have been on both sides of the fence and have experienced both the good and bad,(I myself have never had a problem with alcohol, i can take it or leave it)sure wish it was the same for everyone, again i cannot say it enough moderation is the key, something you do, and thats to be applauded, but it is not always the same for everyone else, the young ones, the ones with addictions and those who just plain love to drink to get drunk.and yep there is such a thing as the happy drunk who rarely causes any problems, but they do seem to be far and few inbetween In my experience(and I DO NOT include all young people in this,again this is a generalisation and from what one reads about alcohol affecting young people who binge drink today, of course older ones do to, just wanted to clarify that before someone jumps down my throat ok)

I myself have no problem with people who drink alcohol only those who drink too much and cause pain and suffering to others who donot deserve it, end of story.

let us just continue to offer advice to the best of our knowledge to those who ask, i hate when threads get turned around and become personal, and that is NOT what i intended, so i will apologise to you and anyone else who may have taken it that way,for that is not what i intended ok.

I also think you are way too sensitive over drinking issues, as i probably am too, just an observation. :)Johanna if you do have any problem with anything i have written feel free to Pm me about it, I am more than happy to talk with you on any subject, this included, I just dont want us going back and forth overtaking this thread, and want to keep it about helping King2005.

[Catty1]

King - you certainly don't have to check in with a counsellor.

Just remember - you ARE an adult now, can choose someone YOU are comfy with(takes a few times, just like getting to know a person), and it's just the two of you - no lawyers or crowds. Just you.

http://www.stopbadtherapy.com/test/therapy.shtml

That's a link you might use IF you want to check out a counsellor - tells you what to look (out) for.

HUGS
Catty1

[carole]

King2005 i get what you are saying about counsellors, but just remember there are good and bad ones out there, it seems you have been unfortunate enough to get a raw deal with them and get the bad ones,maybe you should still consider it but really check out a good counsellor, usually by word of mouth is the best referral, but i know exactly what you mean, went to one myself once and did more harm then good ,anyhow I am pleased to hear you have met someone nice who neither cares whether you drink or not, and that you seem content and happy right now, good luck you deserve some real happiness.

[Cataholic]

Carole- uh, I am not sure why YOU have the 'right' to wax eloquent on the downside of drinking, making it personal to YOUR experiences, yet, chastise ME for doing the same, but from the opposite point of view. And, I might add that you spent about 80% more space ranting about what you claim I was doing, taking time away from King and her issues, than I did. I just pointed out that alcohol is not a necessary demon.

I am not limited, like all of us, to what I can and cannot post. So, keep your tirade against me to yourself, thank you very much. I am not sensitive about my drinking. I like my drinking. What I don't like is someone making anyone that drink some off the wall 'drunk'. That is not the truth. That is not factual. You made the same comment with Denise, and I responded in kind. Big deal. If you did it again, in another thread, I would respond. I don't understand why you are permitted this luxury, but, I am not?

I think it is doing someone a disservice to make it an all or nothing proposition. So, if King has asked for advice, I feel free to give it. From my perspective. Obviously, our opinions differ, that is life.

To me, and to those people I know, drinking is not an issue. In moderation, like most things in life.

[carole]

Johanna I am not even going to waste one more minute of my time responding to you, I am not going to hijack this thread.

King2005 i have pmed you back and am here for you anytime,thank you for confiding in me,my main aim is to offer you support. Take care. :)

[king2005]

Thank you carole.

[carole]

Anytime sweetie. :)

[Scooby4]

I understand EXACTLY what your going through. My direct family have NEVER been drinkers. I can count how many beers my father has drank on one hand and I am in my 30's!!! However, my brother is a recovering alcoholic and so was my grandmother before she died. Alot of my relatives are or were alcoholics and I know it does run in families. Drinking is something that I am clearly cautious and aware of. :cool:
Here's been the clear cut test in my life on deciding on drinking. I got drunk! :eek: I mean DRUNK! When I was about 17 years old my older friends gave me some PGA (190 proof) and some other mixed drinks. I am 5'2" so it doesn't take much. I overdid it completely. I had "tunnel vision" and was completely numb. My friend who weighed over 200 pounds actually fell on me and I did NOT feel it! I was most likely suffering from alcohol poisoning at the time. :( It was the WORST thing and feeling I had ever had in my life!!!
My point is that when I sobered up, I HATED the experience!!! It was the worst thing I could ever imagining doing to myself. It was at that point that I knew that drinking alcohol was NOT for me and where to draw my limits. 2 wine coolers at a party or some "special punch" is enough for me. Once I start feeling a "buzz" I STOP!
I think honestly, this is where the difference between "social drinkers" and "alcholics" draw the line. A "social drinker" drinks NEVER alone, with friends, and ONLY to a nice "buzz". An alcoholic consistently drinks alone, buys drinks or insist their friends drank with them, and always wants the "pain" to go away. Their "drunk experience" was something they enjoyed and found fulfilling. If you get drunk, and like it, then I would seek counseling. If you get drunk, and realize it's just NOT your "thing" then you should be okay for a drink or two on occassion.
I don't like beer or much alcohol at all. I do go to a bar by myself locally alone. However, I do meet up with other single women in the "same boat" as I am. We don't drink much if at all and spend most of the time dancing and socializing. I may drank if someone is buying to be "social" but not to get drunk. I may "nurse" a beer (in my case Smirnoff Ice) all night with a glass of water. Drinking two drinks and keeping a glass of water available is enough for one of my "wilder" nights.
If you do drink, make sure you have some food on your stomach. Eat some crackers or breads to absorb the alcohol better. An empty stomach will get you drunker faster and irratate ulcers. DO NOT drink milk! Alcohol and milk do NOT mix as many people may tell you. Milk actually makes MORE acid in your stomach causing you to develop ulcers or bleeding ones. Rule of thumb: "Beer BEFORE liquor makes you SICKER" If your going to drink beer, then drink ONLY beer. If you drink wine keep to wine. If you drink liquor (shots) then do it before you start with the beer. You can do beer and shots together but you may not feel so well later. If you do drink too much, then go dance it off or get some fresh air and move around.
Drinking 2 glasses of wine a day is still okay. However, I would do it with a meal or before bedtime with a snack. Wine is good for you and does help your heart. I just wouldn't want to drink it without something in my stomach.
You can "drink" just don't think you need to rely on it or that it will be something to solve another issue. It's can be "fun" and "healthy" on some levels if you keep it there on those levels. You may want to "experiment" on your drinking level at first but try to do it with friends at home while watching a movie. Maybe have a "party" with your friends bringing different bottles of alcohol to see which one you would like. That way you can decide when you get to a bar what you may or may not like. :cool: It's much easier to have a "regular" drink lined up so you still can look cool and you know your limits on it. :cool:

[Cataholic]

Johanna I am not even going to waste one more minute of my time responding to you, I am not going to hijack this thread.



Oh, Okay, Carole! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

(and, I think you meant, "other than this one last dig, I am not going to waste one more minute of my time"...)

[moosmom]

Okay, I was going to let this ride, but I've gotta say something...

This thread is not about you Cataholic, or anyone else that has responded. It's about King2005 and her wanting to learn how to drink. We have all shared our experiences with alcohol and what kind of impact it has had on our lives. King 2005 is a big girl. All we can do is be there for her. SHE'S the one who has a choice to drink or not to drink.

End of story.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

An emotive subject

[Cataholic]

I am so sick of this bullcrap. Donna, go back and read what people have written, they have shared THEIR personal experiences with alcohol. Some people have added their input about the effects it has had on their lives. Why in heck's name am I forbidden from doing the same? I will tell you why- because I have a DIFFERENT opinion than YOU, and, than CAROLE, on alcohol. Sorry, but, that doesn't make MY post any different.

If I had posted something like, "King, you should DRINK until you puke, it doesn't matter, it doesn't affect you, it won't make a single bit of difference" you, and probably others, would be all over it, correcting my 'errors', and telling me how irresponsible my post to King was/is. This isn't any different.

I think I posted two or three times, offering advice to King, and it wasn't until Carole decided to post one extremely LONG PERSONAL tirade against drinkers, making VERY irresponsible, and incorrect 'facts' about those that DO drink, did I comment on her post. AND, my post was a bit short, too.

King asked for advice, and I posted it- from my perspective. Until this becomes YOUR board (or, Carole's), I will post whatever in Heaven's name I feel like posting.

Johanna

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Not so long ago I asked for advice and support regarding my drinking problem and I got it in spades! For what its worth every post helped and gave me something to think about, whether I agreed with it or not. We can only share our personal experiences and hope that by doing so we can help someone else along the way

[moosmom]

Johanna,


King asked for advice, and I posted it- from my perspective. Until this becomes YOUR board (or, Carole's), I will post whatever in Heaven's name I feel like posting.

You don't have to get the attitude with me. I was simply stating a fact, that no matter WHAT kind of advice ANYONE here gives King2005, it is HER choice whether she chooses to drink or not.

I never said not to post your opinion. Geez!!! :rolleyes:

[carole]

Johanna at first i had posted a somewhat lengthy reply to you, and have since deleted it, there is no way i am going to carry on this crap with you publicly, no-one needs to read this stuff, and i apologise to anyone who already read my post before i had the sense to delete it.

This is nothing but an embarrasment to me. :(

[Kfamr]

This is silly guys. Lets act our ages.


I think we all have posted something that in some way or another has helped Jess. No one has any more of right to post than anyone else.

There are pros and cons to drinking - or to anything else in life! Both sides need to be heard in order to make a personal decision. Johanna's posts have truth in it - so do Carole's!


Alcohol can be a VERY evil thing if not used responsibly. I have seen both sides, many, many times. I can't remember how many times growing up I've had to babysit adults in my life because they were unable to walk without falling or bumping into everything. Yet, at the same time, my parents have allowed me drinks or sips of drinks and yes, some of them are rather enjoyable! But there's no way in heck I'd drink myself drunk, or drink to GET drunk. That's the problem with a lot of people - they drink to get drunk, and that's all. Which leads to Johanna's statment... moderation!

Jess, just be careful, of course.

[carole]

Thank you Kay, the voice of reason, exactly why I have chosen not to continue with posts like that, i agree with what you wrote entirely and that was my intention to get across that moderation is the key and to be responsible about your drinking, i guess you just said it better than i did, which leaves no doubt in my mind that Jess will do that, she has a sensible head on her shoulders :) .

[PinkSunshine]

There are pros and cons to drinking - or to anything else in life!

Growing up around alcoholics my entire life, I'm honestly curious to see what the 'pros' to drinking would be.... Anyone care to elaborate?

[carole]

I can certainly understand why you would see no pros in drinking from your life experiences, however I grew up where alcohol was minimal, however i do remember my dad always having a few beers especially during hay season after a hot day baling the hay and having a sip now and then myself, I cannot say there are actual pros, as such, but if drinking is done responsibly there is no harm.,some people actually enjoy a drink or two and they say having red wine is good for the heart., I Guess that would be considered a Pro wouldn't it? :)

[Oggyflute]

Growing up around alcoholics my entire life, I'm honestly curious to see what the 'pros' to drinking would be.... Anyone care to elaborate?
Well to be totally honest, the only 'pro' for me as such, is that I am somewhat of a wine buff. I do have an extensive colection. When I was in the industry I used to have to evaluate vintages for our business. This involved tasting up to a dozen wines and grading them accordingly. That is not to say I had twelve glasses one after the other, just a sip and a swirl, and a check on the colour etc., then a spit into a bucket. Truly good wine is an aquired taste and it does involve training your palate to detect the various highlights or faults. I confess to say I find this a lot of fun. Nowadays being out of the corporate world and in an entirely different business, I still do the samething, but then find I consume the bottle with friends over a good cooked meal, being entertained in stimulating conversation. Of course you can do the above without drinking wine at all, as many of my friends do.
On this drinking matter, Carole and I have been together for almost nine years, and in that time she has seen me drunk twice. I could be tempted to say that it wasn't my fault. But it always is. I'm secure in the knowledge that I always know when to stop and call for coffee. (It's the biggest hint I know, to get your guests on the way out the door)

[K9soul]

In moderation there are pros believe it or not. There are horrible cons in excess of course too. For anyone interested, here are some pros and cons from the Mayo Clinic site (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alcohol/SC00024).

Pros

Moderate alcohol consumption may provide some health benefits. It can:

* Reduce your risk of developing heart disease, peripheral vascular disease and intermittent claudication
* Reduce your risk of dying of a heart attack
* Reduce your risk of strokes, particularly ischemic strokes
* Lower your risk of gallstones
* Possibly reduce your risk of diabetes

Cons

Excess alcohol consumption can lead to serious health problems, such as:

* Cancer, such as gastrointestinal, oral, pharynx, larynx, esophageal and liver cancers, as well as breast cancer in women
* Chronic pancreatitis, especially in people with high levels of triglycerides in their blood
* Elevated levels of triglycerides in the blood
* High blood pressure
* Miscarriage
* Injuries due to impaired motor skills
* Sudden death in people with cardiovascular disease
* Heart failure
* Stroke
* Alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver
* Fetal alcohol syndrome in an unborn child, including slow growth and nervous system problems
* Suicide


I personally enjoy a glass of wine (Chardonnay is my favorite) or a bit of brandy from time to time. Sometimes when eating out at a Mexican place I have a margarita :). I also enjoy Amaretto/coke as a treat. I have no alcoholism in my family. I don't think I'd say MOST people don't know when to quit but I would say definitely there are plenty who don't. There are plenty who do though too :).

Edit: This article goes even more indepth about the benefits of moderate drinking and the risks of heavy drinking http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/alcohol.html

[Kfamr]

Growing up around alcoholics my entire life, I'm honestly curious to see what the 'pros' to drinking would be.... Anyone care to elaborate?


Coming from someone who has also grown up with alcoholics their entire life, I can see the pros for SOME people in drinking. I guess over the years I have opened my mind quiet a bit more than it used to be about drinking. A couple years ago I wouldn't have cared if some people enjoyed drinking, I thought it was repulsive and digusting. However, it's only repulsive and disgusting if people choose to abuse it.

Which what I meant as in pros is that there are enjoyable drinks and people who can enjoy them responsibly.


If someone wants to have a drink or two every now and then because that's what makes them happy, Great!


*edit* Thanks for that list, Jessica! Very informative.

[Catty1]

Even in the AA book, it is clear that there are 'normal' drinkers who enjoy alcohol, even go on a bender once in a while.

Just because someone drinks alcohol does not mean they are alcoholic.

Like with any disease, it's good to look at the family history. I have a friend in AA who hoped that the disease would "skip a generation". NOPE! :D

Nothing wrong with drinking - and definitely nothing wrong with NOT drinking. Some people never have tried it and are just not interested. Like me and smoking.

Just some two cents from me.

Catty1

[carole]

I think Jess has probably already made her decisions to try a drink and do it sensibly, I hope everyone who posted here helped you Jess and it was not to your detriment, hope all goes well, cheers. :D

[Rio&Nickysmommy]

I read most of the post but felt this was such an important topic.
I started drinking at a young age of 15. My parents were divorced so I had a lot of times with my friends. I admitt to myself know that I was and I guess still am an alcoholic- I havent drank in over 9 years. My Dad has been an alcholic for most of his life he is sober for about 4 years now.

Most important is that you drink responsibly. Sounds like you are a responsible person, so that is great. Many people can handle a cocktail or drink or two.

I think the problem with drinking when you have problems is that in numbs you. So it might not be the time to try it. I hate bars. I think its wierd to see the most beautiful girl walk in a bar and a few hours later- they look horrible. I know from my drinking I woke up and sobered up and I was married to a man I could not stand. Once I stopped drinking it took me years to get my self confidence back because the alcohol always made me strong and confident. I dont think I ever intended to get so heavy into drinking at the time but was what my friends where doing. Then one day woke up could not stand having hangover and stuff and quit. So if you drink think of me and never go the way I did. A old high school friend contacted me a few months ago wanted to go out and drink and said they wanted me to drink them under the table. I told them times have changed. Hence I think that label will stick with me forever. Believe me at 40+ not proud I was drunk almost half my life.

Not trying to scare you sounds like you knew all this already. What ever you do make sure you feel good about you and take care of you.
Rio&Nickysmommy

[slleipnir]

I am so sick of this bullcrap. Donna, go back and read what people have written, they have shared THEIR personal experiences with alcohol. Some people have added their input about the effects it has had on their lives. Why in heck's name am I forbidden from doing the same? I will tell you why- because I have a DIFFERENT opinion than YOU, and, than CAROLE, on alcohol. Sorry, but, that doesn't make MY post any different.


I only browsed this thread, but I feel I want to respond to this. I'm sorry Jess, this has nothing to do with the original post. However, I feel that in this forum, whatever the majority feels, must be right. Therefore no one elses opinions matter or are correct. I don't see why everyone can't post their opinions, even if it goes against what the majority feels. I can see where Johanna is coming from. I like to drink too, and see nothing wrong with it. I've never been drunk, but I know my limits. I think if Jess wants to drink, she can go for it, if that's what she wants. From what i've read, Jess is smart enough to know how much she can handle.

About the counselling. I'm not one to say you need it or don't. However, they aren't always a bad thing. I had it in my mind that they were evil, and would never see one. I was struggling with depression and was seriously thinking of killing myself. My dad pretty much forced me to go. It wasn't what I expected. The lady was very nice, and she listened to everything I had to talk about and sometimes gave me suggestions as to how I could feel better. I think even just having someone to talk to made me feel better. Anyway Jess. I'm not saying you need to see one, I have no idea. All I'm saying is they're not ALL bad. I understand how they can be bad though. Anyway, you can always PM me if you need to talk.

Anyway, just wanted to post that.

(edit)
Sorry Jess, I hope that didn't sound like I was saying you are depressed...cause that's not what I ment. I'm just saying my experience with counsellors.

[Lori Jordan]

I missed this post,There is nothing wrong to have a couple drinks once in awhile but not on a everyday thing,I grew up with a mother who was a alcholic and its not a nice thing to see everyday,I myself do not drink alchol can just as easily be a drug to someone im so scared by seeing what my mother went through i dont have any intrest in the stuff..I hope you accomplish whatever it is...Just be careful!!

[king2005]

I am thankful of everyones posts, I got the info I needed & tonight will be my first.

I NEED to make sure I know my limit this weekend, so I don't accidently get drunk at the Private Singles Party on the 13th & do something really stupid infront of 400+ people :eek: I already know water is involved so I'll be wearing a dark green T-shirt & jean shorts with a belt.

I want to have a blast, but not at my expence. I know many of the people will be swingers (creepy), & thats why I'm dressing WAY down! I know how to have safe fun & I really miss partying & hanging out in large groups (thats how I'm solving my shy problem).. I've missed so much over the past 7yrs & cannot wait to have fun & make friends again! as I lost all my old ones to Rob :(


If I find my limit this weekend I'll drink 1/2 that amount on the 13th.. if I don't find my limit, then I'll just drink pop on the 13th & figure out my limit in a safer place later on, as I'm in no hurry to drink.. I just want to do it safe & smart.


I'm so excited about the 13th!! If it goes well, I plan to go out more & hopefull I'll be far less shy & more out going again. Then I can save up some $$ & fly to PT meetings on my own or rent a car (if I can get my G beore it expires)...

[slleipnir]

I find I start to feel dizzy when I have a few drinks...that's when I stop. I don't feel drunk, but I wouldn't want to be driving or anything of that sort. It's not enough for me to do stupid things either.

[Sevaede]

Don't drink shots; they will sneak up on you too fast.

You have no idea how much I second that.

I once drank seven shots of vodka in ten minutes. Now, mind you, I am about 100 pounds and 4 feet 9 inches. I cannot even begin to tell you how miserable I was that night and the next day.

Now, I would have to agree with Jessika. I think alcohol is fine in moderation. Just don't let it get the best of you, 'kay? :)

[slleipnir]

You have no idea how much I second that.

I once drank seven shots of vodka in ten minutes. Now, mind you, I am about 100 pounds and 4 feet 9 inches. I cannot even begin to tell you how miserable I was that night and the next day.


I think that would get most people o_O

[binka_nugget]

You have no idea how much I second that.

I once drank seven shots of vodka in ten minutes. Now, mind you, I am about 100 pounds and 4 feet 9 inches. I cannot even begin to tell you how miserable I was that night and the next day.

Now, I would have to agree with Jessika. I think alcohol is fine in moderation. Just don't let it get the best of you, 'kay? :)

Yikes! :eek: The first time I drank, I had no idea what my limit was and ended up drinking a mickey and a half of vodka. That alone would make most people sick. I've learned that I have to call it quits after one "sex on the beach" (even one is pushing it).. you can't even begin to imagine how sick I was after that.

Jess, if you do decide to drink, I recommend staying away from the hard stuff until you've got an idea of what your limit is. I don't see anything wrong with drinking so long as it's done responsibly.. but it's very easy to cross the line between responsible and down right stupid.

[Sevaede]

I think that would get most people o_O

Later on, that's what Troy said as well. Heh. That was something like seven months ago. I have not taken a drink since (of vodka or otherwise). Mostly out of the fear of ralphing and whatnot.

[Sevaede]

Yikes! :eek: The first time I drank, I had no idea what my limit was and ended up drinking a mickey and a half of vodka. That alone would make most people sick. I've learned that I have to call it quits after one "sex on the beach" (even one is pushing it).. you can't even begin to imagine how sick I was after that.

Jess, if you do decide to drink, I recommend staying away from the hard stuff until you've got an idea of what your limit is. I don't see anything wrong with drinking so long as it's done responsibly.. but it's very easy to cross the line between responsible and down right stupid.

Aw man! :eek: I wouldn't have felt so retarded if it had actually been my first time drinking but, alas, I had my fair share prior.

So, yes. Stay away from things like vodka and tequila until you know how you react to drinks with minimal alcohol in them. Smirnoff (I've never gotten even a buzz off of them, but, then again, I have trouble drinking actual drinks fast enough for a reaction.) are good! Space them out and you should be dandy. :) By the way, their Green Apple drink is so. freakin. awesome.

[king2005]

Aw man! :eek: I wouldn't have felt so retarded if it had actually been my first time drinking but, alas, I had my fair share prior.

So, yes. Stay away from things like vodka and tequila until you know how you react to drinks with minimal alcohol in them. Smirnoff (I've never gotten even a buzz off of them, but, then again, I have trouble drinking actual drinks fast enough for a reaction.) are good! Space them out and you should be dandy. :) By the way, their Green Apple drink is so. freakin. awesome.


I was told last night that all Smirnoff products have vodka in it, is this true? I know someone posted about Smirnoff in here somewhere but there are just so many pages lol

I'm not really interested in the hard stuff, just beer :)

[Catty1]

Smirnoff IS vodka.

To the best of my knowledge.

Catty1

[king2005]

Smirnoff IS vodka.

To the best of my knowledge.

Catty1

Thats what I thought, I know my sister drinks it, I'll have to ask her about the new kind. So that drink will be off limits until I find out for sure. I only want a beer & nothing stronger.

[Scooby4]

Yes Smirnoff is a vodka. Smirnoff ICE is NOT. It is a "Clear Beer". It is a competition for "Zima" another popular "clear beer". Smirnoff ICE is like a "wine cooler". Wine coolers are a type of beer if you read the label. They are just a "fruity" beer versus being created by "hops". Smirnoff Ice does come in a variety of fruity flavors called "twists" that include lemon and grape.
Now PLAIN Smirnoff is Vodka and is drank plain or in a cocktail. Just remember "Beer before liquor makes you sicker!" :p

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Yes Smirnoff is a vodka. Smirnoff ICE is NOT. It is a "Clear Beer". It is a competition for "Zima" another popular "clear beer". Smirnoff ICE is like a "wine cooler". Wine coolers are a type of beer if you read the label. They are just a "fruity" beer versus being created by "hops". Smirnoff Ice does come in a variety of fruity flavors called "twists" that include lemon and grape.
Now PLAIN Smirnoff is Vodka and is drank plain or in a cocktail. Just remember "Beer before liquor makes you sicker!" :p

Known as alcopops over here and are lethal! They taste just so much like regular drinks that people forget the alcohol content!

[RedHedd]

Smirnoff IS vodka. LOL, Yup, always has been to the best of my knowledge and when it comes to Vodka I have a LOT of knowledge - enuff to get me into AA! :p

[Catty1]

Oddly enough, I HATED ALL hard liquor, sherries and brandies....too strong/sweet in flavour.

I was a wine and beer girl.

Yah, ok, a CHEAP drunk! LOL

Catty1

[king2005]

Smirnoff Ice is 7% & dang was it good!!

I had 2 bottles fri night & couldn't walk straight at all, however my mind was clear & I remember the whole night & had a good time. After we had our drinks at my place, Shawn & I went for a nice walk in the park. Shawn was fine as he can tollerate much more. On Sat I had 3 bottles & was just fine. I didn't want the 3rd, but Shawn's throat was really sore from the cold I gave him, so I drank his. I was fine sat night, I walked normal & still had my brains lol.