Cyber AA Meeting...Come on down!!!

[moosmom]

I just thought it was appropriate to start a Cyber AA Meeting. It's a great way to meet new people and also a chance for us to share our experiences (if you WANT to, that is).

So, I'll start.

My name is Donna, and I'm a greatful recovering alcoholic. I hit rock bottom in 1993 when I turned 40. I was unemployed and desperate. I knew I had to do something so I asked God to help me. I went to my very first AA meeting and met the most wonderful people who, over the years, helped me maintain my sobriety through a very dark period. I didn't drink socially, I drank for a reason - to get drunk. But it seemed no matter how hung over I was, the problems were still there. I suffered from depression as well. A double whammy, thanks to my family genes. BOTH sides of my family were alcoholics. I was the first one to get help. My cousins followed suit.

It wasn't until after I got into a very BAD accident and lost control of my car did I realize how close I came to the end of my life. I drove in a drunken black-out 50 miles off course, slamming into a guardrail (after drinking 3 Long Island Ice Tea's on an empty stomach). I was VERY lucky that I didn't kill someone else or myself.

Anyone else care to share??

[Catty1]

My name is Candace. I am an alcoholic and finally got sober just over 10 years ago.

I was a binge drinker, and I suffered from depression. Even when the booze did nothing for me anymore, I still went on binges. I was puzzled why I couldn't stop something I was bored with, but today I know it was the alcoholic thinking!

I am glad there is no magic "pill" for alcoholism - if I had been 'cured' years ago and able to drink 'normally' (HA HA), I wouldn't have grown so much nor learned so much!

As I say about growing in AA: "Life doesn't get better - but I do."

Great idea for the meeting Donna!

Candace

[moosmom]

After hanging out on the porch of the Wilson House, I found out you can have a meeting ANYWHERE! We used to have "mini" AA meetings outside when the moon was full. Those are the best kinds of meetings to have! Very impromptu.

[RedHedd]

After hanging out on the porch of the Wilson House, I found out you can have a meeting ANYWHERE! We used to have "mini" AA meetings outside when the moon was full. Those are the best kinds of meetings to have! Very impromptu.You've been to the Wilson House? Lucky you! That's one of my dream destinations.

Hi, my name is Georgia and I'm an alcoholic. My last drink was on April 18, 1986. I got to AA through the intervention of some very loving friends who are still in my life and all of us are still sober. I got sober on JD's birthday, one of my interventionists, as I was SO co-dependent in those days, I thought I'd show him what a good buddy I was by getting sober on his Birthday. Now, every year we get a good laugh over what I was like and both of us get to celebrate another year of life.

I come from a long line of alcoholics and watched my father struggle with the disease, try to get sober through AA and finally died from it. He always wanted me to follow him in his footsteps into the medical profession, however I chose to follow his alcoholic footsteps and almost ended up dead too.

I stayed continuously employed until the very end so I didn't think I was that bad, however in 1986 I was physically falling apart from my drinking. I tried to stop on my own, but, of course, couldn't. I remember calling AA once (we have a wonderful 24-hour hotline with live alkies answering the phones here in San Francisco) but didn't get to a meeting that night. Two years later, before I died, my friends intervened. I went to a treatment program - actually a locked psyche ward - and 32 days later was released into the world, scared and newly sober.

I didn't get a sponsor or do what was suggested immediately. I got a job, a boyfriend, started to look and feel good and was shocked when he moved out in December 1986, that I wanted to drink. I learned that that's what we do - normal for me is drunk. That's when I finally dove into AA and haven't left since. I've had many sponsors over the years - they all seem to move on me! My latest moved a few months after I asked her to be my sponsor and I finally got it - God wanted me to learn that relationships take work. She's still my sponsor, in fact I'm going to hear her speak at a meeting tonight.

As I have a huge anniversary coming up, I'm going to more meetings. AAnniversaries somehow do that - make me pull in a little closer. My sobriety "sister" called last night. We've been getting our AAnniversary chips together for the past 20 years and this year is no different.

I'm also a member of an on-line AA by e-mail group - New Beginnings. In fact another woman from PT has joined my group. It's nice to meet others "friends of Bill" on Pet Talk!

[moosmom]

RedHedd,

The Wilson House is awesome! No phones, no television, no stereos. Just peace, serenity and LOTS of meetings!! It's one of the biggest things I've missed while I was away in Michigan. Now I can just hop in my car and head North. Can't wait till it's nicer out. Haven't seen my friends in over 10 years!

[slick]

How does one know if he/she is in trouble? :confused: I'm concerned about a co-worker of mine.

[CathyBogart]

I am not an alcoholic, but I have a genetic predisposition and I suspect that if I let my guard down I would become an alcoholic very quickly, so I don't let it down where alcohol is concerned. I can sense it any time I have even a glass of wine, I crave alcoholic stuff every day for a week afterwards. :(

On the plus side, babysitting my friends at parties is entertaining. :o

My dad just got sober after ~20 years. I should be supportive and proud of him, but I'm still angry about all the garbage he put my family through for those twenty years, so I just stay away.

[Laura's Babies]

I am not a alcoholic myself but I was the child of alcoholic parents. Both Mamma and Daddy were daily drinkers, my step Dad was a binge drinker.

I have had and still have non drinking alcoholic friends that I really admire for having beat the habit and stuck with it. I admire how faithful they are to AA, YEARS after they have quit so those of you who have really gone long term really have my complete admiration!

I want to comment that some of you have mentioned depression with drinking. I always felt my Mama drank BECAUSE of depression. Am I wrong in that way of thinking? Her Mother died when she was a little girl and I think she never got over the feeling of abandonment, went into depression and drank when she grew up because of the depression. Mama was always so sad and angry, she hid it real good but it was always there.

[RedHedd]

How does one know if he/she is in trouble? :confused: I'm concerned about a co-worker of mine. The way the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous describes it is how: An alcoholic is someone who has lost the ability to control their drinking.

Not being able to stop after taking the first drink. The book goes on to describe the phenomenon of craving that the first drink sets up in an alcoholic's body. Once alcohol is in the body, the body craves more. It's never sated and can lead to insanity or even death.

Many of us tried to control and enjoy our drinking, but for an alkie like me, if I'm controlling it, I'm not enjoying it and if I'm enjoying it, I'm certainly not controlling it.

[RedHedd]

I am not an alcoholic, but I have a genetic predisposition and I suspect that if I let my guard down I would become an alcoholic very quickly, so I don't let it down where alcohol is concerned. I can sense it any time I have even a glass of wine, I crave alcoholic stuff every day for a week afterwards. :(

On the plus side, babysitting my friends at parties is entertaining. :o

My dad just got sober after ~20 years. I should be supportive and proud of him, but I'm still angry about all the garbage he put my family through for those twenty years, so I just stay away.

Perhaps Al-Anon could help with some of those feelings. It's a wonderful 12-Step sister-program to AA for those who are related to, living with or love someone who's struggling with their drinking.

[Karen]

On the plus side, babysitting my friends at parties is entertaining. :o


It's funny, I don't drink alcohol, just decided not to when I was a in college, and I remember much more than a lot of people do as a result.

Last year I got together with a friend, Jane, whom I hadn't seen since our wedding, the summer after she and graduated college together. I told her a little story about herself from one of the parties Paul's housemates had, and instead of chuckling, she said "Oh, no - someone ELSE I have to apologize to." She explained she's been "dry" for a number of years - maybe 5, and that she thought she'd gotten through her list of people she'd hurt or offended. I assured her that no apology was necessary, Paul was not hurt OR offended, nor was I. ;)

[Catty1]

What some professionals have said - and AA is strictly NON professional - is that drinking is a form of self-medicating. It DOES work, sort of - until the booze starts to backfire and wreck our lives and others'.

Now, there are arguments pro and con, but go to page 133 of the "Big Book" (real title Alcoholics Anonymous) and read from: "Now about health..." through to "...his case afterwards."

I am finally on the right meds for my lifelong depression, and am gaining in confidence every day. Having this physical balance back gives me the energy to work my program, and become a responsible member of my community. And no, I do not want a drink. The miracle is still with me on a daily basis.

It is not a magic bullet - nothing is.

But this is just my story; in AA and life I can only speak for myself.

And yes, RedHedd - please check out Al-Anon. It's a family disease, and everyone gets the symptoms of alcoholism, whether they drink or not. You deserve healing too!

[Catty1]

Karen - you are an example of what some AA's call "normal" or an "earthling". :D

How can you just not want to drink? That's plain WEIRD! LOL

I am teasing you, I hope you know!

Catty1

[Karen]

Karen - you are an example of what some AA's call "normal" or an "earthling". :D

How can you just not want to drink? That's plain WEIRD! LOL

I am teasing you, I hope you know!

Catty1

I was often teased for it, but I knew too many people whose lives had been affected negatively by alcohol. I never wanted to take that chance. My great-grandfather was an alcoholic, which completely colored my grandmother's life and her siblings as well. A friend of mine was her class valedictorian because she felt she had to prove to the world a child of a drunk could do it. It wasn't a happy thing for her.

Trust me, going to an arts college, I was completely the odd one out in not drinking. But none of my classmates died or killed anyone else while driving drunk - as I was the self-appointed "designated driver" for our department. There was a lot of cajolling, and teasing, but they all also respected the fact that is was my decision. Funny enough, the person who tried hardest to get me to "just try "whatever" drink, I'm sure you'll like it" was the adult child of an alcoholic. And the person who finally one day told her off quite forcibly on my behalf, was the one person who ended up in a rehab program not long after college.

[Catty1]

Yes, I agree Karen - adult children often become control freaks, determined to control their own lives after living in an uncontrollable situation. But there's nowhere there to learn how to live healthily.

Like the gal you mentioned who had to PROVE she could...that is a sad, joyless life.

And I hear not a few people in AA who SWORE they would never drink like mom or dad - and they are! Alcoholism is an inherited illness. And they had good teachers to boot!

It's a horrid illness for everyone touched by the drinker.

[odaat]

:cool: Hello ladies! You know me but I'm going to use another I.D. for the sake of anonymity- not that I care alot, but I just thought it would be a good idea, hope no one minds.
I'm celebrating my 13th AA anniversary tomorrow, Sunday March 26. Yippee! I think I drank alot to medicate undiagnosed depression, too. And it's been harder to accept that I have to take medication every day, than it was to accept that I couldnt drink anymore. My dad was an alcoholic, too, and I NEVER wanted to be like him, but...c'est la vie. I could do alot worse than be a recovering alcoholic! Thanks, HP!

[slick]

Wow, I'm not sure what to say here but I applaud and admire all of you. You have gone through something I will never experience....I hope! I have to share some humour here. I used to play the pipes in a pipe band and there was one older piper who used to say "There are only two occasions when I drink. When I'm alone, or when I'm with someone." We used to laugh at that...sadly he died of cancer and refused to stop drinking or smoking. In fact he had a nip of scotch and a ciggie on the day he died. He was an alcoholic.

My Grandfather (on my Mom's side) was an alcoholic and frequently beat my Grandmother. When I was little I remember my GM showing up on our doorstep after having taken the bus over. She'd have black eyes and bruises all over the place. My Dad sent us kids to the basement, but we knew what was going on.

Me? I consider myself to be a social drinker although that was not the case years ago. In my twenties, I went through that "young experimental" stage but that only lasted a few years. Then, in my late 30's, I went though a really bad time and started drinking every night until I blacked out. It dulled the pain and that was a good thing. But when the pain came back, it was twice as bad as the night before. Was I an alcoholic back then? I really don't know because I never let it affect my job or other aspects of my life. I had control of it in the daytime, but at night at home, it controlled me. There was some other stuff happening as well but that's too personal for me to post here.

Finally I sought counselling and today, in my mid-fifties, I'm a much different person. I can have a couple of drinks and then stop. I count my blessings and thank my higher power for all that I have.

Congratulations to all of you celebrating anniversaries and thank you for sharing your stories with us. It took courage for you to do that....you are an inspiration to us all.

I also find it very ironic that this thread is in the Dog House...right next to the Thursdays cyber bar. Sorry, it's just my twisted sense of humour. :o

[moosmom]

My entire family were alcoholics, on both my Mom and Dad's side. So my risk was very high. My father was an award winning photojournalist whose generation believed that going to a shrink for your depression, was admitting defeat. After my stepmother died in 1995, he became a recluse, not bathing, shaving, NOTHING, except drink and watch tv all day. His life, according to him, was over. He had nothing to live for and was just waiting to "cruise on outta here". I took care of him, made sure he had a bath, food in his fridge and clean clothes. I also bought him his vodka. :( I've had a hard time dealing with that part of it. I still, on occasion, have nightmares. I was an enabler. I enabled my father to continue his path of destruction. I'm not proud of it. But I was worried that he'd kill himself or a car full of people driving to the liquor store on his own.

2 1/2 years later my prediction finally came true (I told him that either he was going to die in a very bad accident that his drinking caused, or he'll be found dead in his apartment). There was a police officer at my door to tell me my Dad was found dead in his apartment. He was where he wanted to be. Not on this earth. :(

[moosmom]

Odaat - One Day At A Time! :D:D:D

In the Wilson House meeting room they have license plates from all over the country. I remembered one that said ODAAT-1.

Slick,

Thursdays Cyber Bar is the only place where I can tie one on and wake up as sober as the day before. Lots of fun without the hangover!!!

[Karen]

I also find it very ironic that this thread is in the Dog House...right next to the Thursdays cyber bar. Sorry, it's just my twisted sense of humour. :o

Both are adult topics, topics that children needn't read or try to understand.

And the drinks in the cyber bar have no calories, and only imaginary alcohol, if that. Me, I tend to stick to my tea, even in Thursdays.

[Kfamr]

Both are adult topics, topics that children needn't read or try to understand.



I completely disagree. Children should be very aware of alcoholism and should understand many aspects of it - from how to help yourself, to the fact that it's NOT their fault if their parents are affected, and how very serious it is. These are not subjects children should be left from, and I didn't think things were allowed on PT if not acceptable for all ages - or have the rules changed for the dog house?

If I had known more growing up it surely would have helped a lot of hurtful feelings.

[Karen]

Kay, I agree children need to know about such things, but Pet Talk is not the place for them to learn about it.

The Dog House, as originally stated, is for


any post that is in some way controversial, upsetting, or just makes us go eeeew! In it are threads about the war, debates and arguments about religion, patriotism and politics, and the recipe for "poop cake."

Alcoholism is upsetting, no matter what age, and in what form, you encounter it.

[RedHedd]

ODAAT! :) Yes I know you and sent you a congrats in that "other room" ;) 13 was a lucky year for me and I hope it is for you too.

[DJFyrewolf36]

Hey everyone...

As someone who has struggled with addiction, I can't say enough how important it is to have a support group. Lately my resolve has been tested, as my parents have completely abandoned me and I'm finding out very quickly how fickle friends can be. The only person I have on my side is my husband. Sometimes though, one person is enough.

[Karen]

Hey everyone...

As someone who has struggled with addiction, I can't say enough how important it is to have a support group. Lately my resolve has been tested, as my parents have completely abandoned me and I'm finding out very quickly how fickle friends can be. The only person I have on my side is my husband. Sometimes though, one person is enough.

And don't forget us! We're always on your side, as we don't even know the rest of 'em! We're here if you need us. Pah, fickle friends are just not worth it, sometimes.

[DJFyrewolf36]

And don't forget us! We're always on your side, as we don't even know the rest of 'em! We're here if you need us. Pah, fickle friends are just not worth it, sometimes.

Trust me, I am so glad my PT family is around. :D

And fickle friends are most assuredly not worth it!!!

[Catty1]

You'll get REAL friends. And other people get scared...because you change and even become a mirror they don't want to look at!

Bless your hubby! You got a gift there!

Just for today, hon!

hugs
Catty1

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

In 1983 when I was 21 years old, I met a guy I'll call Scott. We met in a bar, we were both drunk, and we got along great! I was just out of an abusive relationship and truly on my own for the first time in my life, and I was going to have fun, and Scott and I spent much time in bars having a greatt time! We dated for 2 - 3 weeks when one day I got flowers, with a note basically saying "I had to go away, go on with your life and forget about me." I was heartbroken! I went on with my life, eventually dated other guys, and only months later did I find out that he had checked himself into Hazelden in Minnesota. He had gotten out of Hazelden and was living in a half-way house when he contacted me again and said that meeting me is what made him realize what a hold alcohol had on his life and how bad he wanted to break that hold....so we could start a life together. I was flabbergasted! Here was this guy who I had had a fantastic time with, who then dumped me like a hot potato, and after being completely totally out of my life (with no explanation mind you) was now saying he wanted a life with me! Well...needless to say I gave the guy a chance and we ended up getting engaged. In an attempt to understand his problem, I attended a few Al-anon meetings. I remember them talking about being an enabler and all that stuff, but I always thought most of what they talked about didn't apply to me, because my alcoholic was already not drinking and I really couldn't relate to the people who were still dealing with drunken rages and such.

Anyway, we got along great, and we even kept going to bars now and then to hang with our friends. I could never understand how or why he wanted to be in bars, but he still enjoyed the company of his friends, he just didn't drink like he used to. We were supposed to be married in September of 1985. Early in 1985 I realized I really didn't want to be married - had nothing to do with him, it was the whole idea of marriage and kids that I wanted to no part of, so I broke it off. I felt really bad because I didn't want to be the reason he started drinking again. Thankfully he didn't. Last I heard he was celebrating 3 years of sobriety and had met another wonderful girl he was about to marry.

That was all many many many many years ago, and I have no doubt that he is now about to celebrate his 23rd year of sobriety.

As for me, I like to have a drink now and then, and sometimes 2 or 3, but long ago I learned that that was enough. I can't take the horrible sick feeling the next day - especially as I get older :rolleyes: - and I can always stop when I want to. However, I have immense respect for those who have been able to conquer this beast. I can't even quit drinking Coke, so I can only imagine how hard it is to completely change your life and quit drinking alcohol. Congratulations to you all! :)

[Pawsitive Thinking]

How does one know if he/she is in trouble?

I realised I had a problem when I couldn't remember the last day I had gone without a drink or the last time I had just fallen asleep naturally......I kept going home from "events", being very ill and not remembering most of the evening and my final wake up call was finding myself swigging from the vodka bottle first thing in the morning because I felt so dreadful from the night before. Drink was controlling me but now I am going to control it. I have an addictive personality - simple things like being unable to buy a single lipstick - I have to buy at least 3 so I guess I'm the same with alcohol

[odaat]

I realised I had a problem when I couldn't remember the last day I had gone without a drink or the last time I had just fallen asleep naturally......I kept going home from "events", being very ill and not remembering most of the evening and my final wake up call was finding myself swigging from the vodka bottle first thing in the morning because I felt so dreadful from the night before. Drink was controlling me but now I am going to control it. I have an addictive personality - simple things like being unable to buy a single lipstick - I have to buy at least 3 so I guess I'm the same with alcohol

I can't say if you are an alocoholic, but what you're describing sounds like it is very probable you are - please check out this site to get help in the UK:

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

I know it's scarey, no one WANTS to be alcoholic, but if you are, you are. There's hope! Some of the nicest people I know are RECOVERING alcoholics!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Yikes! Just had a look - answered "yes" to too many questions........

Thank you

[Laura's Babies]

Both are adult topics, topics that children needn't read or try to understand.

Believe me Karen, the children do understand. I knew everyone elses parents were not like mine and I never brought friends home. On garbage day, when the truck would come, our garbage can was full of whiskey bottles and beer cans. A garbage can of beer cans sound so different than regular household garbage and I was ashamed for the garbage men to see me. I played outside a lot because the house smelled of the booze and it stunk to me.

Thing is, I never thought it was my fault, it was just what they did and while it had a impact on my life as a child, the only emotion I ever felt about it was shame. I never felt cheated or mad at them for what they did either. My parent we just my parents and I loved them no matter what they did.

On a lighter side, since we have grown up, us kids have talked about our lives as children of alcoholics and my little brother who never says how he feels about anything made the remark, that while we didn't have the greatest parents or "things" life had to offer, what he has seen as a policeman has made him realize we REALLY had it GOOD! I have also learned that just by seeing people and how some of people live.... if you can call it living. We always felt loved and that is all I cared about.

[Catty1]

Karen KNOWS that kids need to know - but Pet Talk is not the place for them to learn.

Alateen, guidance counsellors. etc

Catty1

[My Peanuts]

Keep it up everyone! I'm not an alcoholic, but my dad is a recovering alcoholic and most of his family are still on the bottle so I have seen the struggle.

As for kids reading this, I have known many "kids" that were in AA before they were 21. For me, it's not unheard of to hear of kids at 12 and 13 drinking anymore. To be honest, if you are old enough to be on PT, then you are old enough to already have a problem. It's sad, but true.

[odaat]

Yikes! Just had a look - answered "yes" to too many questions........ Thank you
That's okay, just be honest. It's a step in the right direction. Now be sure to go back to that site and find out some more. ;)

[Anon]

Hello.
I'm a member of Pet Talk but like Odaat,I've created an anonymous id. I trust that Paul and Karen will respect me enough to not reveal my identity,as I know they have ways of finding out.

I drink at night,every night. Most times I go through 1/2 bottle at night. I do work,and so far no-one knows. Not myfamily,not my friends. I want to quit,Iwant to save money. Help me please.

[Karen]

If you want to stop, admitting that is the first step, right? You've done that, right now, to us.

Have you been to an AA meeting? You can go and just observe, you don't need to "spill your guts" right away.

[RedHedd]

Hello.
I'm a member of Pet Talk but like Odaat,I've created an anonymous id. I trust that Paul and Karen will respect me enough to not reveal my identity,as I know they have ways of finding out.

I drink at night,every night. Most times I go through 1/2 bottle at night. I do work,and so far no-one knows. Not myfamily,not my friends. I want to quit,Iwant to save money. Help me please.

Congratulations! You've just taken the first step. I've heard it said in AA meetings, if you THINK you have a problem, you do. The good news is that we're here to help.

[odaat]

To our dear PT friends who are struggling,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE, AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE.

Here is the home website of AA:

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org

please check it out, you'll find some information that can help you figure out how to get in touch with your local AA. Check your local newspaper, phone book for AA. If there's a hotline number, call it. you don't have to identify yourself, just explain what you did here.

Please don't feel like you are intruding, one of the most important things we alcoholics do to stay sober is to help the next alcoholic. Really, you are helping US by asking for help.

I'm so glad this thread got started, so many people struggle with this.

[king2005]

I think this is a wonderful thread!
I don't drink, never have & never will. I hate booze to no end, but for different reasons then some on here.

I only remember 1 thing about my dad's dad, & that he drank a bottle of Vodka daily. I also remember the first day I met my grandfather. I was about 4 or 5yrs old, My grandpa asked me where we kept the sugar (we had sooo many cupboards!!) I hopped up onto the counter like I always did (parents show me how to do it safely, so I would have the urge to play on them) & took out the sugar only to get a slap in the face! I loathed everything about my grandfather after that. I have never been hit like that before, esp. for something I didn't do wrong. Luckly he lived 2000km away & I never had to see or deal with him. I think I saw him a total of 10 times in my 15 years (he died a slow painful death & was still bitter, right to the end), he was the type of person who would never go to an AA meeting.

My mom's dad was an alcie aswell, except he was much nicer & easier to get along with when he had a beer in him. Its when he had several beers it became an issue, mostly a cost issue. I've never seen him yell or touch a sole, but grandma hated him drinking, & that rubbed off onto me, as Grandma was the only person I was able to talk to when I was younger.

I watched my younger sister hit rock bottom at only 14yrs old! She never had a strong will & when she drank, she felt good (so she claims!). One night she was drunk & stoned (I've told the story before so I'll keep it super short), she started a fight with me (I did try to avoid it), I beat the snot out of her & made her an ugly mess, cause the more she tried to fight me, the harder & faster I punched. It was aweful, I was the sober one & I'm the one who lost total control for a moment.

Luckly the outcome was wonderful. My life didn't change 1 bit, except for my hate of booze, I just hated it even more! But my sisters life turned right around & for the better! She doesn't do freaky drugs anymore, just pot on holidays (which I can live with, but still dissagree) & has her drinking 100% under control now!! She only drinks a little on holidays & refuses to get drunk! Its been about a good 5-4 years since shes gotten drunk & the amount she consumes is still getting smaller & smaller. We get along now & chit chat on the phone & MSN almost daily! We never did that before.


I always knew it was the booze that controls people & that its very hard for people to overpower the booze. Thats why I hate booze & not really the people (except my grandfather, he cared only for his drink & nothing more)

[moosmom]

My Dad was a very mellow drunk. He was VERY depressed, so he drank himself numb. He'd sit in his chair and cry about my Mom and stepmom and how much he loved them both. It killed me to watch him kill himself.

I recall years ago when our family (all uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc.) used to drive out to Bolton Lake on the weekends. We'd have cookouts, go swimming, hiking. They were my fondest memories because, as Laura's Babies said, I always felt loved. Even though it WAS through an acoholic haze. Back then there WERE no laws against drunk driving. Not as strict as now. They thought nothing of packing everyone up and driving home after a day of drinking. I don't think I ever remember any of my family members actually sober.

[RICHARD]

I just stumbled across this thread..no pun intended.

Now I feel kinda guilty for doing the Thursday's thing.

I admire everyone that has posted their thoughts on the subject.

(Another reason that PT is the ONLY website I frequent....Constantly evolving and you never know what you will find here.)

------------------------------

I posted about finding PT after a particularly troubled 6 months in my life.

I drank quite a bit and after a few months found the best "group therapy"
on the planet.

PT started out like a sip, then a shot-
half filled tumbler-hold the ice, please? And finally, I do it in huge gulps.

I still do drink, but not at the frentic pace I once did.

You have to stay sober to post at one or two in the morning ;)

You are all very brave to post and you have gained one more heart, cheering you on, in your daily fight..


It sounds like a broken record but..

You all rock! :D

[RedHedd]

It always amazes me (or at least it does since getting sober) that people who are depressed drink to alleviate their depression. When I went through treatment I learned that alcohol IS a depressant! Hello? Isn't that kinda like pouring gasoline on a fire? So it's starts or continues a vicious cycle (or is that cyclone?) ripping through a drinking person's life.

In sobreity, my feelings are up and down and I've learned that that is the normal flow of life and human emotion. It feels SO good to be a part of the human race again - even those days when it feels like a rat race at the end of the day, like right now, I'm tired but know I put in a good hard day of work and feel pretty darned good about all I accomplished.

PS. Richard, don't feel guilty about Thursday's - it's one of my guilty pleasures where I can pop in and have some fun.

[odaat]

It always amazes me (or at least it does since getting sober) that people who are depressed drink to alleviate their depression. When I went through treatment I learned that alcohol IS a depressant! Hello? Isn't that kinda like pouring gasoline on a fire?yeah, makes sense to this depressed alcoholic! This makes me chuckle...I don't think I ever did anything because it was logical. Drinking was great at first because I could finally relax and laugh and enjoy things. Plus, it did a great job of numbing out all those dark feelings. But this too passed, and it did become fuel for the fire of alcoholic insanity.

One of the tough things about getting sober is feeling your feelings again. After stuffing them for so long, it takes a while to get through the garbage. I felt like giving up early on, I was afraid it was going to be too painful to get sober. That's why a support group is really important. :)