||Twelve weeks old|
||Galveston, Texas, USA|
am Chester the Anti-Establishment Hedgehog. My coloring is called Pinto.
Recently I have heard myself referred to as "stilts" because I like to walk
with my legs fully extended. Apparently, I look funny to "some people." I
read the hedgehog rule book and am determined to break them all!!
Mealworms ... Pa-leaze! Get those things away from me, NOW! I don't know how
my relatives can eat those things. Mom even cut one up into pieces for me,
but I have no interest in worms. She can have them if they are so delicious.
They creep me out. Sometimes I curl up when one is near me and spear it with my "bangs".
Fleece cage liners. They are all the rage ... Boring!!! All they are good for
is poop. I like to push my paper shavings around and burrow in them. I like
to make a soft puffy bed that looks irresistible, and then go crawl under my
felt covered coroplast floor that is hard and stiff.
Expensive kitty food ... I'm pretty finicky. Please get me new flavors every
few weeks. And don't try mixing it with my old flavors. I'm not stupid. And
add some baby food too. I like to be pampered. I said please. Eggs, Fruit and
veggies ... You can have them. I'm a meat man! Not a meat and potatoes man. I
don't like potatoes.
I guess my mom reads about me a lot because she is always making
"improvements" or taking "suggestions" from strangers. Supposedly, someone
told her I would like snuggle on her lap while she watches t.v. before it's
time for me to wake up ... I will pop, huff and chew her shirt if she tries
to touch me before 11pm. She has to go to bed and then get back up in a
couple of hours to spend time with me. I'm not a snuggler. Do I look like I
want to snuggle? I'm covered in spikes? Some people just don't see the obvious.
A few days ago, I was caught off guard by a bribe. I just had to give in and
attack and eat that yummy cricket mom bought for me, even though I wanted to
snub it like I do the mealies, but it was so chewy and delicious. My mom
thought it was disgusting when I ate all the guts out of it and left the legs
and head on the carpet. Hahaha. But she cleaned them up and did it again the
next day. I think I have her almost where I want her. Please focus on the
Check this out ... Mom took me outside in the sunshine today. She woke me up
to clean my cage. I'm a bachelor. My cage looked fine to me. But back to my
story about going outside. I was mad at first. Click, pop, hiss, repeat. But
I must confess...it was so awesome in the grass and dirt!! I had my quills
totally smooth for the first time since I got here. I even sat on mom's feet
because at first I was a bit nervous. We better do this again. It was the
most amazing thing I have ever done in my twelve week life. And for the record. I
accidentally walked across her feet. It was no big deal. Let's stop talking
about it, okay?
The moral of the story is this: I am trying very hard not to love my mom. I
huff and puff and quill all up. I am so sharp that sometimes her fingers
actually get punctures. I have even bitten her hands sometimes, but she is
persistent. She never stops loving all over me. She even holds me when I nip
at her. That's no fun, so I stop.
This is embarrassing, but why hold back now? We touch noses every night
before she puts me away for the night ... because she thinks it's cute.
Sometimes I throw her a bone and let her see that she isn't all that bad. In
fact, I might be starting to like her just a little ...
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