Stress Relief 101

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

How much virtue there is in simply seeing.

--Henry David Thoreau (sp?)

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Man is the only animal that blushes, or has the need to!
Samuel Clemmens aka Mark Twain
This is not only my favorite, it's the only one I can remember.

[wolflady]

Originally posted by LoudLou

Seen on a bumper sticker:

Grow your own dope, plant a man.


Great idea Tonya....this was fun.

ROTFL
That's a good one! LOL LOL

*What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
This one I can relate to!! I don't know what it is, but no matter where I go...some sort of wierdo latches on. I even warned a co-worker of this strange phenomena before we went on a tradeshow several weeks ago...and sure enough she witnessed the oddness of it all. We even tried several ways to get rid of the guy, but to no avail and we finally left the building. I won't bore ya'll with the details, but it was funny!

Anyway, some of my favorite animal related quotes include:

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
- Will Rogers

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
- M. Facklam

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
- Anonymous

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.
- Dave Barry

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your
face.
- Ben Williams

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andrew A. Rooney

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
-Steven Wright.

OK OK, enough of the animal quotes, here are a few non-animal quotes that give me a chuckle...

"It's not easy going through life being so good-looking."
-Zoolander

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
-George Carlin

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
Marty Feldman

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein

"If a man does his best, what else is there?"
- General George S. Patton

"His ignorance is encyclopedic"
- Abba Eban

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."
- Yoda

Ok, I'll stop for now! LOL LOL

[AmberLee]

Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others
were making ships. -Charles Simic

[Crikit]

Me loves quotes let's see if I can find some good ones for ya.

"Wisdom makes a weak man strong, a poor man king, a good generation of a bad one, and a foolish man reasonalbe."

"I drink the wine of aspiration and the drug of illusion. Thus I am never dull." -John Glasworthy.

"A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe."-Pierre Berton

"Hatred paralyzes life;Love releases it. Hatred confues life;love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life;love illuminates it." -Martin Luther King Jr.

"A true friend is the greatest of all blesssings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire." - La Rochefoucauld

"I would prefer even to fail with honor than win by cheating." -Sophocles

"A laugh is the loud echo of a sigh; a sight the faint echo of a laugh." -Sean O'Casey.

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." -Hebrews 1:1

[anna_66]

Life's greatest treasures come from the heart.

[zippy-kat]

To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart. ~Phyllis Theroux

I have a very firm grasp on reality! I can reach out and strangle it any time! ~Author Unknown

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. ~Author Unknown

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastoret

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."

It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens. ~Cynthia E. Varnado

[Genia]

My favorites:

"Depression is merely anger without enthusiam" (I love this one because I suffer from depression. 2 years without meds! Yea, for me!!!!)


"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground"

"Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. "

[shais_mom]

ok now for the 4th time in trying to post on this topic!! Certainly wasn't a stress relief for me!!!!
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. -- Ben Franklin
I don't remember when I first begun to call you "friend". One day, I only know, the vague companioship that I'd seen grow
So imperceptibly, turned gold, and ran In tune with all I'd thougth or dared to plan. -- Florence Steigerwalt

and my all-time favorite

DO NOT USE A HATCHET TO REMOVE A FLY FROM YOUR FRIEND'S FOREHEAD! --CHINESE PROVERB

[zippy-kat]

Good ones, Stace!

[Genia]

Stace, that last one may be one that I use from now on! Really good one!

[gini]

"If, after calling your dog several times, and it still does not come to you when you call, go into your home, look in a mirror and examine your conscience."



"If your dog thinks you are absolutely the best person on the face of the earth, don't seek a second opinion."

[LoudLou]

This is my FAVORITE Dog qoute.


He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.

[Edwina's Secretary]

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission" -- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Of course! We still have to eat." Eleanor Roosevelt to the people invited for dinner on December 7, 1941 -- Pearl Harbor Day who asked if they should still come

"A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what a ship is for" - unknown

and

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" - unknown

[zippy-kat]

Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" - unknown

LOL that one reminds me of...

While a man's laughter is funny, manslaughter is not.