Marriage

[catnapper]

I was thinking today... I just learned my 21 year old cousin who got married last summer is already pregnant. I'm thrilled for her & her new husband, but all I can say is "wow... she's still so young"

I notice that every generation, the expected or "normal" marriage age edges older and older. My grandmom's generation was 17 or 18 when they got married. My mom had many of her classmates do the same. My generation seemed to want to wait til the early 20's -- I decided to wait til I was almost 30. Ok, truth be told, I was ready by 26 but nobody was ready to put up with me fulltime at that time

Anyhoooooo.... what age do you think is the right age to start getting married? What age is somebody emotionally ready for the give and take of marriage?

PS: the cousin who got married last summer called my SIL (who's 28) too old to be having babies (she just had a baby in February). I had to laugh because I was thinking she's so young! Amazing how different people see things so differently. So I want to know what everyone else thinks.

[Kfamr]

It's different for everyone, I didn't vote.

Me, I don't want to get married until i'm atleast able to support myself financially, and who knows when that'll be.

[Sirrahsim]

I got married at 18, which is far too young for a lot of people. In our situation though, my hubby already had a stable job with the military so financial stability was not an issue.
It depends a lot on maturity. Many 18-21 (or so) year olds are far too immature to get married...
On another note, I think that it is best to have kids earlier (before 35). Genetically it is healthier and plus you'll have a better chance of being around when your child grows up, gets married, and has kids of their own.

[Luvin Labs]

I put 26-27 (since it didn't have an 'other' just a 'never') but it really all depends on the couple and how mature they are and how they compensate and how they are compatible with their other half... I know some 16 year old more mature than some of my 30 year old friends, and vice versa...

[finn's mom]

I don't think there's any magic age for marriage or kids. It really does depend on the people involved and the circumstances surrounding the relationship.

[MariaM]

I voted 24-25, but of course it depends. My mom had me when she was 39...I wish she'd had me earlier, because I only know one family who has parents older than mine..lol. Oh well. I was the 4th and last kid.

[christa]

I was 22 when I got married, so that's what I voted for.

It was almost perfect for us. We both had just graduated from college . . . although maybe putting it off for a year would have made us more financially stable going into a marriage . . . but live and learn . . . we struggled for the first year, but we never fought or had any problems in our relationship . . . just struggled to keep the electricity on!!!

No worries now, we're coming up on our 2nd anniversary in August and things couldn't be better!

I think it's different for everyone.

[wolfsoul]

I've always imagined myself getting married at 24. I have no idea why. I think it's because my mom had me when she was 24 and that number has been stuck in my head. I don't think there is a right or wrong age to get married, but I think mid-20's is best.

[Tollers-n-Dobes]

I never want to get married so I probably don't have much say in this but I don't think there is any certain age group, it all just depends on the people and their relationship.

[petslover]

I believe it is different for each person.

[jenluckenbach]

I voted 21-23 because I believe 21 or older. I don't think anyone under 21 should get married. They can think about it, or even plan it, but if they can't actually wait until the "magic" age of adulthood, then maybe it wasn't meant to be.

I married at 21....we PURPOSELY waited until I turned 21 to wed. We KNEW several years earlier that we would be married but felt we needed the adult status to make it feel "right".

[jennifert9]

I voted in the 30s somewhere. But then I'm 33 and not married so maybe I'm prejudiced! I know for me personally that I am a completely different person now than I was at 18, 21, 25, even 30 so the person I may have been attracted to/thought about marrying at those ages, I wouldn't even look twice at now...but I think it is so individual. I'm a "slow grower" or that's how I like to classify myself! I learn so much every day, week, month, year....I dont' know if I will ever feel ready!
The "children question" can become a problem for the people who get married older though, like someone said...My mom had me at 27 and I can not imagine having my own 6 year old right now!! HOLY MOLY!!!

I personally plan to adopt handicapped and special needs children that many others wouldn't want or give a chance to so for me that isn't an issue but I do see how it is for people that want to have their own flesh and blood children.

To each, his own I guess.

[Oggyflute]

I was 33 when I got together with Carole, so I put 33-35.
I think that a certain level of maturity is needed when settling down with your life partner, be that a young or old age.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

It really depends on the person. I got married at 18, which was hard of corse, but it was perfect for me. I would not normally say that 18 is a good age to get married, but for me it was. We bought a house 3 months after we got married and it was hard to always pay the bills, but we did. Come July we will have been married for 5 years and we are financially secure now. So maybe it would have been easier to waited until we were older, but we didn't. Actually having to struggle a bit probably made us stronger. You all know the saying "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger", well, in our case it was true.

I also want to add that we have been ready for a baby for about a year now, which a year ago I was 22. We have been trying, but unfortunately have had no success thus far (we're still trying). My periods come every 60 or so days. I have been checked by my doctor and everything looks normal. They said I should be able to have a baby. Anyway, congratulations to your cousin. She's young and it may be difficult, but she can do it.

[Bubblehead1123]

my parents got married when my mom was 20 and my dad was 24 (they've been married for 30 years ) my mom had my oldest sister (duh) when she was 21.... soo... they were young too... I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters.... and my oldest sister has three boys. biiiiiiiiig family.