I'm depressed

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

I started to post this in JazzCat's thread when I saw the pic of Ripley and Jazz on the sink and the top of the toilet. But I didn't want to bring her thread down so I started a new one.

Anyway, I was just thinking this morning how Tubby always used to be right up on the sink or on the toilet while I get ready in the morning. He was always right there, every morning and I had to "work around him" while I got ready. Now he can't jump there, and if I put him up he can't sit comfortable since the sink is rather small, and he actually doesn't "sit" anymore. He'll sit for like a second or two and then lay down, even when he's begging for his treats. He is still sharp as a tack, but his body is getting old, and I'm so sad about that!

Another thing that really brought it to mind was Terry and I took Tubby for a walk the other day. Yes, we were going to go for a walk and we brought Tubby along on his leash. I used to do that long ago when he was a kitten, and he loved it. He enjoyed it this time too, but you could see that the extended amount of walking was troublesome for him. He was still all alert, eyes darting everywhere and ears and nose going 100 miles an hour, but he just walked like an old man, as if it was hard for him. I could tell he enjoyed the walk, but he was more than happy to go back inside and lay down.

I just about broke down right then and there because I don't want him to leave me and I don't want him getting old and frail. I want my young feisty active naw-tee boy back! I remember when I'd come home after being gone for a weekend, the apartment was a mess! The cushions from the couch were all on the floor, the rugs were in shambles and there was litter all over the bathroom from when he was sure the chinese mice tasted better. Now I come home from a weekend away and he's in the same spot as I left him, as if he hadn't moved all weekend.

I've started carrying him up and down the stairs with me if I'm going up or down so he doesn't have to navigate the stairs. He spends a lot more time downstairs now, where he used to always be right by my side no matter where I was. But now I think it's getting hard for him to do the stairs.

2 1/2 years ago when he was 15 1/2 he was diagnosed as being in the early stages of kidney failure. I accepted that and thought that was what would ultimately take him. But that's been under control ever since then, and now it seems like his legs are failing in front of my eyes...and I don't know if I can watch.....

I know I should be happy for the 18 wonderful years I've had with him, but I'm just not ready for him to start showing his age yet....

Sorry, I gotta go and find him now so I can snuggle and tell him how much I love him.....

[shais_mom]

oh Debbie,
I am sorry Tubby is having some troubles.
I don't really know what else to say, as Kylie is my first kitty and I have never had a kitty in old age.

give Tubby a scritch from me

[jazzcat]

Oh Debbie now I'm depressed and crying. I want to hug Tubby too. I'm sure it is so hard to see his body wearing out like that. Ripley is only 12 and I can already see some things are not as easy for him. He used to jump up on the dryer to eat but about a year ago I had to move his food to a lower spot because he can't make the jump that high.

Just reading what you wrote about Tubby not sitting long just breaks my heart. I know I'm not helping to cheer you up but I want you to know how bad I feel for you and Tubby andto some little part I understand.

This is different I know but my Dad has Dementia or early Alzheimer's and his body is still pretty strong for an 82 year old but I see his mind going and it's so sad. My brother is only 40 and has MS and has been wheelchair bound until recently. He's an engineer and has a mind as sharp as a tack but a body failing him. Both cases are so incredibly hard to watch but it is so much worse to see my brother who was so active lose his ability to lead the life he wants and he be so aware of it. I know this is completely different but your post just made me really think about it.

Okay, now I'm even more depressed.

{{{HUG}}}Debbie

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Thanks you guys. Peanut jumped up and started licking my hand just as I was finishing typing all that, and it made me feel a little bit better.

JazzCat, I know what you mean about your dad and your brother. Terry's dad has Alzheimer's and it's soo hard to see him like he is, but the one thing that makes it endurable for Terry's step mom is the fact that he (Terry's dad) doesn't know the condition he's in. He would hate being like that so she is just happy that he appears to be happy and doesn't know where he is or what condition his body is in. I'm with you that having the body fail is harder. I can tell Tubby wants to do all the things he used to, but he can't.

scritch delivered to Tubby and {{{hugs}}} back to you Jazz and thanks, I needed that. Now I'm going to get Tubby and go to bed.

[Corinna]

I understand Our Winky is going on 16 and I just dread the day . I saw a little of what will happen last year . After our flea med problem. I thought he was a goner then. All we can do is keep the happy thoughts and memories close in our hearts. We are now having to give Winky moist food to boost his weight ,he never has been a fat cat but the summer heat and old age he is having a too thin problem. In fact last winter he was too, and didn't go out as much .Thinking of you and Tubby((( (hug)))

[gini]

Debbie, I have been where you are and there is a sick feeling you get inside because you know you cannot hang on to them forever.

When I approached a similar season in my beautiful Magic's life and also with other cats who have owned me I tried to do several things.

I made a point to fuss over him every waking moment. I whispered more sweet nothings into his ear and told him how much I loved him. I lifted him up to places that he loved and tried then to keep an eye on him to help him down. I started feeding him special treats that wouldn't upset him.

The day that I lost him I gave him something he dearly loved that was just horrible for him - a huge bowl of milk. I figured why not?

I also kept some of his fur. I knew that he would tell me when it was time and he did.

The night before I learned something about him after all of those years...........he loved strawberries and I had never known that.

He also loved glazed donuts.............but that he made clear very early on in his life. It was a very rare treat that he was given.

I hope you do have Tubby for a long time yet to come.

[AmberLee]

{{{Debbie}}}, {{{Tubster}}}, {{{Peanut}}}, {{{Peanut's slave...}}}

I don't have any words, but if cyberhugs can help...

[catcrazylady]

Giant {{{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you Debbie! Mine are all still pretty young but I still get a sickening feeling when I think about them getting old and not able to be as active. You have obviously taken very good care of Tubby since he is still able to go on walks with you at his age. I know how much you love him and I hope there is still a lot of time for you two to share. Hopefully his body won't deteriorate any further. The thought of losing them is so heartbreaking and gut wrenching.
Give extra special kissies, hugs, and lots of snuggles to sweet Tubby.

[jenluckenbach]

{{{{{Debbie}}}}}
I know how hard it is. We want our babies forever but helping him to do the things that he can no longer do is a kindness you both will always remember. Each time you lift him to a favorite sleeping spot that he has touble reaching, you are repaying all the years of his unconditional love given to you. Each time you see him sleeping instead of playing you can be sure that he is dreaming of those days and reliving them in his mind.
Love him as much as you can and do not postpone taking some photos (no this isn't a plug for posting pictures). You will be glad you captured his life on film.

[Killearn Kitties]

Aww, Debbie, that must so hard to watch, but I hope you have Tubby with you for a while yet.

Please give Tubby hugs and snuglies from me too.

[boscibo]

I feel so bad for you, I know exactly how you are feeling.

The majority of my animals are older. With the exception of Hanna, who is only two, and Abby, who is nine, everyone here is in their teens. Even my horse is 22.

I try not to dwell to much on thinking this way, but since Bandit's diabetes and Bo's hyperthyroidism, the feelings rear their ugly head.

We (my SO, my animals, and I) have been together so long; this is my family.

I don't want to lose my friends, and I can't imagine life without any one of them.

It is so hard to see them grow old.

[catlady1945]

It's hard to watch a beloved pet get older. Our Patty passed on last December. She was with us over 19 years. Her body was failing her in her last year but her spirit was as strong as ever. We miss her greatly but we are grateful for every second she was with us.

[Barbara]

{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}

I don't have many words but I know your feelings. It is hard to believe how close to your heart a cat can come.

And a live without Filou and Tigris- I have no idea whether it could be called a live.

This is the only place where we can talk about how close they are to us (and compare them with our parents and other beloved humans).

I hope that the Tubster still has some time to enjoy with you- and it sounds like that. And when he'll go he will go with all the grace that makes cats so special to us.

[catmandu]

That is the hardest part,about being a Proper Cat Guarduian,when the Cats,get older! Iam sorry,to hear about Tubby getting older,as Michael,who has lost a lot of his teeth,is no longer the jumper,that he was once. Princess,who is older actually has more pep.But he is My Little Michael,and I will cherish him,as you do Tubby!

[Tonya]

Oh, Debbie. I am so sorry that you are feeling down. It must be so difficult to watch Tubby age. We'll pray for many more healthy Tubby years.