I can't even swallow without it hurting and I can barely open my mouth. I am starting to wonder if I have lock jaw and not just TMJ problems going on. It hurts so bad. I don't even want to eat or even talk. This really hurts. What's weird is that it's only the left side. The right side is perfectly fine and I am having no problems with it at all. I just want to crawl into a hole and stay there for days asleep. The only pain meds they are going to be able to give me is morphine, as I cannot take anything else, and that sucks because not even morphine does anything for my pain. I am basically immune to pain meds and all they do is make me very sick to my stomach. I am scared about having to possibly have surgery. It's the same concept of fixing a dog with hip dysplasia, except that it would be my jaw. I am scared of going under a knife, and I don't want a huge scar on my face. This would be my second major surgery. I also found a way to get my endo surgery too, but I don't know when that will be. I would want to have them at least a month apart. I don't want to miss any work but do I have a choice? This really sucks. I am going into the emergency room later on today after Dylan and I take a nap as I know I am going to be there for hours and I don't want to take a cranky toddler with me. If they have to take x-rays or anything I will tell Dan to come home early so he can watch Dylan. I just can't take this pain anymore. I mean I can't even swallow and eat so I have to go in and be seen. I don't even want to talk.





That is what I posted in my journal. I didn't feel like typing a long thing again explaining why I am going. Please wish me luck and please pray for me because I am really in a lot of pain and am very scared. I was in bed this morning just crying because I was afraid to move my face. Then I couldn't cry because that just made it worse!