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Thread: A bit of a setback???

  1. #1

    A bit of a setback???

    Ally and Connor have, up till now, been getting on fairly well. (Connor has now been here for 5 weeks, and they have been fully integrated for three weeks).

    Over the past couple of days their playfull "stand-offs" have escalated to the point where the house feels like a war zone. High pitched howling and low growling, after which they will sometimes just walk away, but are sometimes having a "go" at each other. I just returned from a short trip to the shops to find tufts of hair floating around (Connor's this time - yesterday it was Ally's hair )

    Ally has been quite antagonistic towards Connor - if he walks past her she will swipe at his butt, or if he is sleeping on a chair she will sit under the chair and "whack" him with her front paw.

    I think that Connor has eventually gotten fed up with her and has decided to fight back.

    I am keeping their claws really short, to try to minimise the damage they can do to each other, but it has gotten so bad at night that I have to put them in separate rooms, otherwise no-one gets any sleep.

    Any suggestions???

    Thanks Kay for my great sig & avatar!!!
    Kissy 1993 (?) - 13 Oct 2005. Always in my heart.
    Ally Cat's Mommy

    "It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done." Harriet Beecher-Stowe.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
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    Been there done this one Butterscotch like Ally being "first one in the house" is territorial. Thumper is that way also - Skinny is clueless at this point in time, he is so glad to have a home.

    Time outs (just couple mins effective only after you've witnessed behavior) , squirt bottle and the firm "mom doesn't like this stern voice" worked out for us.

    Now when things get out of hand all they have to see is the squirt bottle in my hand and they freeze

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Tufts of hair on the floor? A normal view here. Sometimes they can be best friends, an hour later it's crying and growling. It never takes long and there have only been minor scratches.

    I have decided to accept it. Must have been similar for my parents when my sister and I were younger

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    I have awaken to find WORLD WAR 3 (as witnessed by the amount of hair tufts on the floor) had taken place down stairs. And sometimes during the course of the day I will hear a bit of loud screaming, often not knowing who is getting the short end of the deal. If it is not happening 24/7 then it sounds like normal sibling rivalry. If it escalates, I would try to find out if something in their routine has changed. Stress from an outside source could be straining their relation.
    .

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    I have never tried it, but maybe you could try this Feliway everybody's talking about. Mine are bad sometimes, but not very.

  6. #6
    I would be more worried if it was the same cat's fur on the floor EVERY morning.

    The fact that sometimes it is Ally fur and sometimes Conner, suggests that they are deciding on the top cat in the house, rather than bullying or real fighting.

    Also are you sure it isn't play fighting. I was shocked when Milly & Milo started play fighting (cos George & Milly didn't play at all)

    As they would make noise and fur would fly but there was no blood or injury to either cat, so now I monitor fights but I try not to interfer.

    Are they hurting each other ?

    As a rule if they are not hurting each other and both cats take the lead in starting the fights, I would ignore it.

    But if they are getting injured or you see signs of one cat bullying the other, seperate them when you are not there to supervise them.

    All the best.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    My cats love each other, but we had the same experience with Nicki and Sammy (now deceased) It was terrible!

    What CAN be done about it? Do they fight when you are around too - or only when you are not involved to play peace maker? Do they fight over food too?

    I'm sorry that I can't help much, but maybe if you pin-point what sets them off you can help them.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
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    I know as having only one cat I am no real help here, just wanted to let you know that I keep my fingers crossed that this is only their way to find out their hierarchy and that they soon will settle down!!!

    Please, you guys, don't worry your lovely mom to much and get along well!!!
    You have learned enough to see that cats are much like you and me. ( T.S. Eliot)

  9. #9
    Join Date
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    I don't think it is a setback. Cats do these things from time to time. Even after 4 years together, sometimes I have the battle from heck...and it was more frequent when they were younger. I think Ally now realized Connor is HTS (Here to stay), and no longe fearful of each other, the Alpha Cat Syndrome is working itself out.

    I must agree with others, unless there is blood, let it go. They have to reach an order.

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    Sometimes we have battles here; two of mine got into it this morning. I usually just have to yell, "Hey, break it up!" There's never any blood, just fur.
    I've been finally defrosted by cassiesmom!
    "Not my circus, not my monkeys!"-Polish proverb

  11. #11
    Thanks guys - it's very re-assuring to have the benefit of all your wisdom!

    I am hoping it's just their way of working out the "pecking order". There hasn't really been any change in their routine, and they DO put their differences aside every time the fridge door opens, when they will stand right next to each other and beg for ham! Unfortunately it seems to escalate at night, and had been keeping us all awake. For the past couple of nights Connor has been sleeping in the utilities room (NOT as bad as it sounds - it's the size of a small bedroom, and his favourite nap spot anyway), and Ally has been in the kitchen, with their own litter boxes, food and water. Should I continue to separate them for a couple more nights and see if the situation improves?

    One other weird thing - they both almost always use the same litter box - the new one I bought when we got Connor. Ally's box is usually clean when I go to scoop it. I never thought Ally would share a box with Connor, as he is a real stinky-butt!

    Thanks again everyone for your advice - I feel much better just knowing that it's not only my two who act like this!

    Thanks Kay for my great sig & avatar!!!
    Kissy 1993 (?) - 13 Oct 2005. Always in my heart.
    Ally Cat's Mommy

    "It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done." Harriet Beecher-Stowe.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
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    We have battles everyday. Abner is the alpha male cat in the house and Tucker the alpha female, so fur flies often around my house. Most of the time things are quiet but other times we are saying "Stop it". We only have fur that flies. There has never ever been any blood shed, or injuries that require a vet visit.


    Smokey, Mystic, Abner



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  13. #13
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    I wouldn't worry too much at this point. From reading all the posts you can tell that it happens with most all of us!! The worse ones seem to happen at night and I think it is because they sleep all day and look for trouble at night! None of mine have ever really harmed each other and sometimes I think it is play that goes sour. Somebody got a little rough and then somebody decided to get even, and now everybody is mad and the fur is flying!!! Everything is fine when the sun comes up! (Most of the time!!)



  14. #14
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    Inthe Found Cat Hotel ,no matter that they get along 99% of the time , as Jen says there comes a time , where the Fur does fly.And even among the Siamese Squad , there are Tiffs. But as long as noone is really hurt , it is a battle to be Boss Cat , and should be ignored. If it gets bad , then you might have to keep them seperated , to see if that helps!
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  15. #15
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    Usually, by battling it out, cats establish their own territories. Often they'll form a " time-share" system, using the same areas but at different times .

    Sometimes that's just the way they play!

    So maybe they just have to work it out with each other . I hope they do . :
    Last edited by amoore; 11-28-2003 at 09:58 AM.

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