Well, personally, I think dogs should be forced to do only the tramatic things that they absolutely have to do.
All my dogs have to go to the vet, so I force them all to get aclimated to that. I take the scared ones with me whenever I have to take another one to the vet, just to make them go. I have some dogs, though, that would prefer never to leave the house. They are very timid, and just want to stay home in their same old routine. Ok, fine with me. As long as they can handle going to the vet, I'm not going to force them to go the the store or the park or to my friend's house. Why do it? It's not worth it if it's not crucial.
You could spend a lot of time and effort acclimating your dog to be ok with going to Petsmart, if that's what you want to do. If it's important to you that she go there well, then, by all means, work with her. But, if it really doesn't matter that much to you, I'd say let her be.
Same with big dogs. You could spend a lot of time, effort and frustration getting her to get along with a particular big dog. It might work fine. But she might not get along with the next big dog she meets, or the one after that. If it is important to you that she get along with one particular large dog, then, by all mean, work with her. But, she's probably never going to completely overcome it.
I think, having rescued and fostered umpteen dozens of dogs over the years, that I have learned a little about quirky dog behavior. We will never know everything our rescued dogs went through. We will never "fix" them completely. It is our responsilbity to discover their fears, phobias and quirk, and work through the ones we can easily help them overcome. The very complex, deeply rooted ones that just 'stick' ... well, I think our responsibility there lies in creating a safe environment for our dog, given those fears. If a dog is afraid of and bites children, it is our responsibility to keep children away from the dog, and the dog away from children. We can't expect to 'fix' the problem, we can only control the environment.
"We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam
"We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle
"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien
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