I heard this on the radio today. I don't know why, but I got a real giggle from it.
Who else has any good (or bad) one-liners to share?
Here's mine:
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
"Dam"
Registered User
I heard this on the radio today. I don't know why, but I got a real giggle from it.
Who else has any good (or bad) one-liners to share?
Here's mine:
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
"Dam"
Thanks Kay for my great sig & avatar!!!
Kissy 1993 (?) - 13 Oct 2005. Always in my heart.
Ally Cat's Mommy
"It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done." Harriet Beecher-Stowe.
I'm Canadian......eh?
**groan**
I've posted this before and no one ever gets it, but I love it.
A termite walks into the bar and says "where's the bar tender."
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand and strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!
--unknown
Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see
--Polar Express
Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.
Registered User
*snort*
Now THAT'S a good one Slick!
(We are obviously on a different wavelength)
Thanks Kay for my great sig & avatar!!!
Kissy 1993 (?) - 13 Oct 2005. Always in my heart.
Ally Cat's Mommy
"It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done." Harriet Beecher-Stowe.
Registered User
Slik - I get it. Funny!
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Cheerfully Childfree
mom to furrys'fids'n'fish
3 men walk into a bar. you would think the other 2 would have learned.
Shayna
Mom to:
Misty-10 year old BC Happy-12 year old BC Electra-6 year old Toller Rusty- 9 year old JRT X Gem and Gypsy- 10 month ACD X's Toivo-8 year old pearl 'Tiel Marley- 3 year old whiteface Cinnamon pearl 'Tiel Jenny- the rescue bunny Peepers the Dwarf Hotot Miami- T. Marcianus
"sister" to:
Perky-13 year old mix Ripley-11 year old mix
and the Prairie Clan Gerbils
Registered User
Good one, Cali!!!!
Thanks Kay for my great sig & avatar!!!
Kissy 1993 (?) - 13 Oct 2005. Always in my heart.
Ally Cat's Mommy
"It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done." Harriet Beecher-Stowe.
Save a life - Rescue!
Ok, I feel stupid because I don't get it.Originally posted by slick
**groan**
I've posted this before and no one ever gets it, but I love it.
A termite walks into the bar and says "where's the bar tender."
Alyson
Shiloh, Reece, Lolly, Skylar
and fosters Snickers, Missy, Magic, Merlin, Maya
All things serve the Beam
Termites eat wood.Ok, I feel stupid because I don't get it.
The termite wants to know which part of the wooden bar is tender, so it can eat it.
Where is the bar tender?
"We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam
"We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle
"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien
I'm Canadian......eh?
OK Twisterdog beat me to it.
Please don't feel stupid. It's not your fault, it's just my weird sense of humour. I'll shut up now.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand and strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!
--unknown
Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see
--Polar Express
Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.
new old school pillar
haha . iget it. i think these are really funny and i know a bunch of good ones but i can never think of them when i need ttoOriginally posted by cali
3 men walk into a bar. you would think the other 2 would have learned.
. oh well i'm sure i'll think of one soon
All things serve the Beam
This isn't exactly a one-liner, but slick's comment above made me think of this joke. I, too, love this joke and no one ever gets it. Actually, I use this joke as the litmus test for men ... if he gets it, he might be potential date material. If he stares at me like a deer in the headlights, it's hasta la vista, baby.I've posted this before and no one ever gets it, but I love it.
Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
"We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam
"We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle
"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien
Registered User
I have a joke thing!!!!!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn`t come back?
A stick!!! LOL!! I feel stoooopid!!
What do you call a hotdog that you`ve eaten all the meat out of?
A Hallow-weenie!! LOL
I'm Canadian......eh?
**snort** **snort**Originally posted by Twisterdog
Actually, I use this joke as the litmus test for men ... if he gets it, he might be potential date material. If he stares at me like a deer in the headlights, it's hasta la vista, baby.
Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
I'll have to remember that next time I have a date....whenever that might be.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand and strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!
--unknown
Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see
--Polar Express
Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.
Wanna go for a Walk?
My co-worker just told me this one today (I hope it's not offensive!!!)
Q:How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb???
A:You wanna go for a bike ride??
A Bird's Best Friend
A joke my brother used to say when he was little........
What kind of diet are those big fat wrestlers on......*his words*
A *See-Food* diet!
He used to say this when he was like 7 or 8..........and my parents told me about it. I was much too young to remember.
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