I don't think any of the stories told so far could be called "right" or "wrong" options. Sometimes you get what life throws at you, not what you plan or hope for. I lived at home until the day I got married at 22. (I remember that day - I woke up, had a bowl of Raisin Bran as usual, and sat there at the table thinking how freaky it was that I would be eating Raisin Bran in "my own place" tomorrow.) I was working in a low-paying retail job (which I still have, but it pays much better now ) and had dropped out of high school during my senior year, and really had no ambition or plans for life. I was too afraid to look for a roommate and live with someone I barely knew, and I had no friends whom I could move in with. I sure couldn't make it on my own on my single salary. I was paying my mother for a portion of the rent, utilities, and phone, so I wasn't getting a "free ride" all the way. I didn't have a car until just before we got married, when my then-fiance bought me a VERY used one, for which I paid the insurance premiums, gas, etc. I took the bus to work and borrowed mom's car for shopping, and depended on my friends to take me to "fun" places. I didn't want to move in with my boyfriend/fiance before marriage, because I had seen that go bad so many times with girls I knew. I wanted to have some sort of legal recourse if/when he kicked me out, and I wanted concrete tangible evidence of our commitment to each other and to staying together. Once we were married, we had a joint account credit card, but it was used ONLY for unexpected expenses such as car repairs or uncovered medical expenses. (We both had health/dental insurance through our employers, thank goodness.) We just kind of learned how to function in the world by trial and error. One thing that all of you here have going for you is access to the Internet, which we didn't back in the stone age when I was first starting out. You have such a wealth of information available to help you make financial decisions, learn to repair things on your own, you name it. All we had were TV, the Yellow Pages (and our rotary dial phone ) , and the library. Another thing that worked in our favor is that we were both VERY committed to keeping our jobs and staying gainfully employed, no matter how much we hated going to work each day. I know some couples today where one or the other of them won't get a job, or keeps quitting jobs they have for stupid reasons, and causing a lot of financial strain. Basic lesson: WORK STINKS, but you have to deal with it, especially if you're in the position my husband and I are, with neither of us being college-educated and having limited opportunities.
Even though I have never lived "on my own", I am a VERY independent, self-sufficient person, and I function perfectly well when my husband is out of town for extended periods. I run the household completely, I'm in charge of all the finances, I can operate power tools and the lawn mower, so the only thing I "depend" on him for is lifting heavy objects (although I confess I do fall asleep much quicker when I have him as a "bedwarmer" next to me ). So although I may have made some "wrong" choices, it all turned out wonderful, and I'm so happy with my life up to now. (I'm not the kind of person who looks back and laments anyway; it doesn't do anything but make you feel bad.)
Last edited by All Creatures Great And Small; 11-05-2003 at 01:01 PM.
The legend says that Mohammed adored cats. When one of them was sleeping on his sleeve and he had to go out, Mohammed supposedly cut off the sleeve so as not to disturb his pet.
A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast - Proverbs 12:10
How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. - Robert A. Heinlein
What greater gift than the love of a cat? ~ Charles Dickens
There is, incidently, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. - Dan Greenberg
If purring could be encapsulated, it'd be the most powerful anti-depressant on the market. ~Alexis F. Hope
Bookmarks