I think my Lucy is sad - any ideas please?

[Julie Grove]

Hi, I think Lucy may be missing Gigi. To some degree Lucy has always lived in Gi's shadow because Gigi always made sure she was number one in the house - she was definitely the boss. Since Gigi died, Lucy has become more demanding of my time and attention. Even during the night, she wakes me to give her attention. I know it is not food she wants because I always leave plenty. The problem now is that she won't leave me alone. At times she pleads with me not to go to work in the mornings and constantly craves my attention. Of course, it is not always possible for me to give her the attention she wants and I feel very guilty and very upset about this. For the last couple of days I have had to ignore some of her pleas because I don't know what else to do and she will quieten down a bit.

I have also recently found areas on my carpet where she has been scratching. This is something she has never done before as she has two scratching posts and plenty of toys. she is a very active and adventurous cat and I do think she may get bored.

I feel very sad for my little cat as I don't know what I can do to help her if she is unhappy. I may try the clicker training but in the meantime any advice no matter how small is appreciated. Thanks

[PayItForward]

Would you consider adopting a new feline friend for her (and you) ?

It sounds like Lucy needs a new sibling, not a replacement for Gigi but another cat for you and Lucy to love.

The reason she bothers you at night, is cats are very active at night playing/hunting. She probually misses Gigi more at night than at other times.

If you are not ready for a new furbaby, I would give her as much attention as you can. Play with a laser pointer to get her tired out and move the scratching post to where she is scratching.

BTW to those places she scratches smell of Gigi ? As scratching is part of the scenting behaviour.

{{{hugs}}} to you and Lucy.

PS. Where about in England do you live ? (County)

[Julie Grove]

Hi, I am from Bickley in Kent. Thanks for responding. I think Lucy does miss Gi but I am giving her a lot of attention. It is quite exhausting! I have also noticed that she is "spraying" on me, if that is the correct term (shakes her bottom with her tail up). She started doing this a short while after Gigi became very ill and I think it may have been because Gi was getting a lot of attention at that time. I can only imagine that she is doing it now because she is still unhappy about something. Regarding getting a friend for her - I am wary of this because, firstly, I don't think I am ready yet for another pet because Gigi's loss is still too raw at the moment. The other reason is that I have been advised by an animal behaviourist that to introduce another cat would be very unfair to Lucy - he likened it to a total stranger walking into my house and 'taking over' and said that how that would make me feel is exactly how Lucy would feel about having another cat on her turf. I am uncertain as I know many people that have introduced new cats with great success. My priority is Lucy and I don't want to risk upsetting her life any more than it already is but I just don't know what to do for the best. I don't want to rush into anything, but I will certainly try your suggestions. Thanks again

[jenluckenbach]

Time is what she needs. Giving her more to do might help. Maybe new scratching posts or toys to keep her attention.

Personally, I'd adopt another cat. So as soon as YOU are ready to do so, I'd start looking. Find a cat that is not too young because that might be too much stimulation for Lucy, and find one that had a layed back personality so as to not threaten Lucy.

I am sorry that you both have to go through this loss.

[catcrazylady]

I too would consider adopting another kitty. I sort of disagree with the behaviourist. In the beginning it is like bringing in a total stranger, but weren't our best friends total strangers at one time?
If it were me, and I am speaking only for myself, I would look into a young male (orange). They seem to be able to get along with most anybody/kitty. All of my males have not had a problem letting the females be dominant. You know how girls are!! I'm sure it would take time but all kitty introductions need time for adjustments.
You know Lucy and her personality so you could speak with someone at a shelter that would help you choose the right cat to be Lucy's new friend.
You have to remember that you will never ever be able to replace Gi. That would not be what you are attempting to do. You would simply be trying to help Lucy and have the benefits of rescuing a poor kitty in need. The best medicine to help you begin to heal is laughter and an occupied mind. Introductions would definately keep your mind occupied and if they become friends then I'm sure you would smile.
Don't feel guilty for trying to ease some of the pain in your heart. It doesn't mean that you are letting go of the memories of Gi.
I'm sorry for your pain and I'm sorry for Lucy.
This is just my opinion and what I would do. Life goes on for us here and all we can do is be thankful for the memories of those who left before us and continue to make new memories with others that are still here.
God Bless you and Lucy.

[Madelyn]

I think introducing another cat can be beneficial but it can certainly depend on the relationship between the previous two cats and the type of personality of the next one you bring in. I've had varied results with having to go through this situation twice in the last 18 years. My first two that I had were extremely close. As one as died and I've introduced a new member to the house, those two in turn have never had that same type of close relationship unfortunately.

It probably depends on how well the new one can adapt in w/the old and if they're used to sharing their "person". My new guy is pretty territorial w/me and attacks the other. She in turn won't let him w/in 2 ft of her.

As someone else said, time may help heal this as your cat gets used to being alone. But if you're like a lot of cat people, one cat just isn't enough. Good luck w/whatever you decide.

[krazyaboutkatz]

I also agree with the others that when you're ready, you should consider adopting another cat for Lucy. When my Pepper passed away in early Feb. last year, I still had Storm and Sunny but I knew that I'd get another cat some time soon. Sunny was wanting to play a lot and so he'd bug Storm while he was trying to sleep. I knew I needed another young male cat.

I adopted Cirrus in March and Sunny was very scared of him at first but now they're best friends. I also ended up adopting Sky in June and Storm loves him very much. For some reason Storm doesn't like Cirrus because he's very jealous of him but all of my other furkids get along with each other.

Adopting Cirrus and Sky really helped me adjust to the loss of Pepper. They're not substitutes for him but have made it much easier to deal with his loss. Now I have a happy cat family again.