How do you know if it's time

[Elizabeth]

I have a 15 year old mixed breed dog. I think the time is coming when I'll have to put her down. She has had arthritis for years (has been taking Rimadyl) but now her back hips will just give way sometimes and has a difficult time of getting up. She's blind in one eye due to a tumor, and sometimes looses control of her bladder. Is it time? She is my first dog (had her since she was 3 montbs). How do you know?

[KYS]

Elizabeth,
Nobody can answer that question better
than you and your vet.
Sometimes we want to hold on to our
babies forwever, but in your heart,
you will know when the right times comes.
When she is in pain and her quality of
life in no longer their.

That is always a painful decision to make.

[TheAntiPam]

Many of the folks here at PetTalk have had to face the same question, Elizabeth, including me.

What I have learned is this: After it is all over, you may still have doubts. One day you'll think it was just the right thing to do. Other days, you will wonder if you did enough. At that point, talking with friends, family, and even PetTalk people will help.

For now, it is your job to give love and care. And when those cannot help any more, you'll find your answer.

[tatsxxx11]

Dear Elizabeth. That time, deciding when is the right time, is the hardest decision a furparent has to make. As has been said, the best thing to do is to talk with your vet, and most importantly, search your heart, and look into your baby's eyes. Usually it is they that will tell you with a
look that says to you that it's ok. I had to face the same question as you not that long ago. I know how difficult and painful it is. As Pam said, somehow, you will just know. Please give your beautiful baby a hug and kiss. You will both be in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Sandra

[RachelJ]

The question with no answer. I faced it twice. When you cry until you can't cry anymore. When it hurts so much to watch them fall down and not be able to get up. When the only time they are at peace is when they are sleeping. When they don't want to be petted or held or comforted. When you see fear and pain in their eyes. When they try so hard but cannot control their bodily functions. When you know there is no getting better. Then you still won't know for sure. So you just do the best that you can and understand that you can err on the side of waiting too long as well as acting too soon. You are the one who loves this being and you are the one who has to decide what is best. They wouldn't want it any other way. A decision made with love is the last gift that you have to give. And as the AntiPam said, you will have the doubts afterward. Please take care of yourself. I know how difficult and stressful these days are for you.

[3-greys-and-a-mutt]

Your pet will let you know. You will look into their eyes, and know that they have had enough.

[jackiesdaisy1935]

Elizabeth, what the others say is true. We lost our Schnauzer Kona last October, she was 14 and had arthritis, had cataracts, had lost control of her bladder and bowels. We also gave her Rimadyl to ease the pain. For a year she did well, even doing a little running with the other dogs. After that year it all went down hill. Since we got her as a puppy and she was my constant conpanion and I loved her so much, we would decide one day to take her, then we thought no not yet, we just couldn't bring ourselves to let her go. This went on for a while and one day we knew she was in pain and we were being selfish, we were thinking of ourselves instead of Kona and what was best for her. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life, she just closed her eyes and went to sleep peacefully. One day looking into her eyes you will know.

[Pam]

Elizabeth...I ache for what you are going through now. It comes back all too vividly. Everyone has pretty much told you what I was going to say. I have had to do this 3 times in my life and my dogs were in their teens also when the decision was made. They gave me so much love and devotion and were so very pitiful in the end with so many ailments and not enough strength to fight much more. Yes, it is a horrible decision to have to make and one I do not want to have to make again for years and years and years! I do believe that on those final trips to the vet my dogs knew and I still saw nothing but love in their eyes along with the pain. I don't have a real answer other than to say that I agree that you will know and I believe your dog will know too.

[BayleeBoo]

I remember when I first got my dog, I looked at him sleeping and thought, the day I will have to put him down is far ahead. Put yourself in your dogs position. But I will tell you this.When you do decide, make sure you are right there with her, their hearing is the last thing to go, tell her you will love her for life and let her go peacefully. I also recommend having a friend drive you home, so you can have their support and confidence that you did the right thing. As others said, she will tell you when her time is up by the way she looks at you! Thats my best advice!
With Prayers and Love:
BayLee's Mommy
@---}]----------------
BayLee and I will think about you!

[AdoreMyDogs]

Elizabeth this is such a difficult question, and everyone is right, you must be the one to decide when your noble dog has lost her quality of life. When she is ready to go to dog heaven she will give you a look...it's not like any other look. There is a very loving yet serious look in their eyes, her face will tell you that she is ready, and that she will always love you. It is a look of somewhat of a plea, and a brave look, and a look full of love, and a look that shows obvious pains or discomfort, and humilation from the loss of bodly functions. It's that look that is branded in my mind from when I had to also make that decision with my yellow lab, Beener. Just listen to your heart, and notice the looks that your dog gives you, those are her hints that she is ready. They always know before we know. Dogs are very psychic and intuitave. This is a most painful and difficult decision and we all understand your pain. We have all felt it and understand completely how heart wrenching it is to make the final decision.

I am so sorry for you. Here is a poem for you to read that I copied from a pet loss website.

When The Time Comes
-------------------

Lord, when the time comes please help me be strong
my furry friend is sick; something's terribly wrong
The vet checked her over; there's nothing he can do
I'm afraid soon I'll be sending her; home to You

Please take her back home; on the wings of a dove
into Your loving arms; up in heaven above
Take her to a meadow; where she can play and run free
under bright sunlight; among the green grass and trees

She's been a part of my life now; for so many years
I'll miss her so much; my eyes are filling with tears
Please give me the courage; to tell her good-bye
as I know she'll watch over me; through her loving eyes

I'll never forget her; I'll see her one day
tell her we'll meet at the Bridge; then we'll go play
I'll cherish the memories; of the time we both had
they'll put a smile on my face; then I won't feel as bad


John Quealy


P.S. please don't feel pressured to be there for the euthanasia. Do only what you are comfortable doing, your dog will love you whether you are there with her or not. Some people just can not handle that, it's OK if you can't. Please know that the vets will take good care of her, and she will be O.K.. I don't want you, or anyone else, to feel that they need to be there during the procedure. I was there with my lab, but the rest of my family could not face it. They were not ready to witness our beautiful friend take his last breath. I honor and bless their decision. I don't want anyone to feel guilty or feel that they have to do something they are not ready for. If you are afraid to witness it, or you simply don't think you can, please don't feel you must. It is so incredibly quick, the heart stops within seconds of the enjection, the beloved dogs don't have time to ponder and wonder where you are. It's over like that, and then they are with you in spirit...lovingly thanking you for the most unselfish gift.

[ August 01, 2001: Message edited by: AdoreMyDogs ]

[Sudilar]

Elizabeth, it is the hardest thing to do, but it will be the right thing. In 1996, I was going to take my Avalanche to send her to the Bridge, but she passed on during the night. Sometimes I still think that maybe I let her suffer a little longer than I should have, but I was hoping for recovery. By the time I decided to let her go, she already was deciding for herself. Good luck and be strong. My heart goes out to you.
Sue

[zippy-kat]

Elizabeth~

You and your precious dog are in my prayers. I can only echo the sentiment in the other members' words. I offer you this poem:

Look into Her Eyes
Look into her eyes.
They've seen years go by.
The intelligence and grace
Bring tears to your face.
Now as the decision rests,
You wonder what's best.
Her coat, once so shiny--
And now, she's so tiny.
She has depended on you
As the years have gone by
And right now she still does.
She knows what you do is out of love
And not inhumanity.
The trust she has in you
Is now shining through.
As she's drifting towards the end,
She rests a paw upon you to let you know
She was your friend until the end.

[BeeTrixPotter]

Elizabeth, My prayers are with you. I had to make the same horrible decision you are facing only 9 days ago. Our cock-a-poo at age of 16. Also had taken a turn for the worst. Artitist, diarrhea, and lost of bladder, and on the last days could not stand by himself, and he was refusing to eat, he would only drink. But his heart was beating so strongly. It was awful, to see him hang on. I looked deep into his eyes and told him his pain would be over soon, and he would be in a much better place. Just ask for direction and a sign. All things will be answered for you. My prayers are with you! And I know the answers will just come for you, just as they came for me. Take a deep breath and enjoy your time together. He will always be with you...

[Daisy's Mom]

BeeTrixPotter, I am so sorry about your cockapoo. My prayers and thoughts are with you!

[KayAnn]

I have never had to put a dog down, and i doubt i will ever be able to, (thats why cant ever be a vet), But what my neighbors have done befor is have someone do it for them. Someone to bring their dog to the vet. I think im going to have someone else bring SimSim to the vet, because i could never do that but, hopefully that wont be for a loooooooong time till that day comes.. Just remember, she lived a long happy life and you lead her threw it, and now it is her time.