I know exactly how you feel. I just went through something very similar.
I rescued a chinchilla a couple of months ago. I had him a week, when he escaped from his cage. He chewed through a plastic tie holding his dust bath house onto the door opening. I never thought about it, I suppose, just having gotten him and the cage. He got out during the night, and squeezed right under the baby gate seperating the living room from the kitchen. (The chinchilla and the birds were in the living room, and the dogs in the kitchen, just for safety's sake. So where does he go first thing ... under the gate!)
Of course, the dogs killed him, in about 30 seconds. I know he didn't have a clue what hit him, because he didn't make a sound, and there wasn't a mark on him. But still .... I cried and cried and cried. This innocent little creature depended on me to keep him safe, and I let him get killed. It's VERY hard. I know what you're going through, and I'm very sorry.
"We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam
"We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle
"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien
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